sexual abuse

[stephenk]

my self esteem has now been damaged. I have learned my lesson.

I hereby take back the original post I typed and replace it with this:

Lorialee dont be confused. Obviously your man has changed or your daughter is too old for him. In any event, stick by your man no matter what. You can now use his criminal actions against him. Demand better clothes, a new car, and fancy vacations. You have him over a barrel. You are now in a position of power. I hope your self esteem has been restored.

 

[stealth2]

You leave - like now. If you don't know where to go ro what to do, contact a women's shelter in your area - they'll help you. But you need to take action before he does something to another child.

 

[newtothegame]

Duh

This happened to me as a child. It took all my courage to tell my mom. She said if it happened again, we would leave. It happened again...we didn't leave. In essence, my mother was saying that it was alright for it to be happening to me.
It took me 10 yrs to forgive her.
There is no question, you must leave now. He will do it again, he is mentally ill.
There are 1000's of people out there to help you. If you don't, it's your fault, your 1st job is to protect those kids..your not doing it.

 

[veryhardworker]

You should have reported this. How old is your little daugter? You need to report this NOW. If this comes out later you can go down just for knowing and not doing anything. How do you think your daughter is going to respond to you when she grows up and sees that mommy let this happen and didn't say anthing. DO you LOVE your children? If so report this and move on. Take your son with you. Go to court if need be. Just because he is a boy doesn't mean he wont do anything to him aswell. If I knew your names I would have reported both of you. If you want to stay with him that is your choice but get your kids out for their own saftey.

 

[DesperateMom21]

The fact that you even felt the need to ask this question tells me that you got lost in the stupid forest and ran into every tree there was!!!Women like you don't deserve the title of "Mom" you don't deserve it!I pray that your daughter tells someone else and you and your husband lose all rights to your children!!!Your husband is a monster that should hung off a bridge by his pen*s and you,YOU are no better,because you know about this and have yet to have done a thing.If it were my child,the ******* would already be locked up,heavens knows that would be the safest place for him.

 

[KCMR]

looks like she left...

***wow...sick stuff...very sick stuff.**

 

[twisted_tink]

i went through this...

My step-sister sexually abused my daughter during overnight visits to her grandma's house. LEAVE NOW, call the police and get your child into counseling. Don't worry about anything else. Predators are predators and they don't "just stop". They victimize until the day they die. Save your daughter and your son....most cildren who are sexually abused end up in abusive power and control relationships later in life, not to mention prostitution.

and for you 2 jerks posting demeaning messeges..you should be encouraging her to leave...if you want to harass someone or be jerks...there's always chat gentleman.

 

[stephenk]

Twist, I think everyone who posted told this lady to either call the police, kick the guy out or leave with the kids.

 

[galdhar]

Hey, unfortunatly, I lived in Tennessee for a short time, which was too long. But Dads having sex with the daughters and moms with the sons, brothers with sisters, etc...That's a normal way of life there. So I don't see the problem?!?!?!?!?!!!!

 

[feelshopeless]

this is weird...not something that i would normally ask...but stephank and IAAL...is it at all possible that the 2 of you could review my post...for some ungodly reason I value the opinions of the 2 of you...you are both straight forward with your answers...basically you are both as cut and dry as I am...I erspect that, and hope that one or both of you could take the time to review my situation...and yes IAAL...i am from New Jersey...but I openly admit I did wrong...(read your other post...truly brutal) hopefully one or both of you can offer some advice in regard to an appeal...there I asked...

Thank you in advance...

 

[hmmbrdzz]

I am new to this site -- just visited and posted tonight. After reading some replies to the lady's problem of "sexual abuse", I'm sitting here appalled at some of what I'm reading. I'm a registered nurse, and if you're an attorney responding to this woman or someone else in a professional capacity, then shame on you for responding so....so.....so.... mean! I can't understand why someone in a "smart capacity" would take the time to respond to such a sensitive issue in such a damaging way. If you're intelligen, you should know that her culture may view sexual abuse as something totally different from that of your culture. If you haven't considered that factor in your advice to her and have fired off at her with anger, then she should know that you have no intelligence and she should therefore not consider your advice. Maybe that's why I'm here tonight. I hope that she and her daughter are doing OK. Recovery is possible with support. Without it, it will be difficult.

Hmmbrdzz

 

[stephenk]

What culture views sexual abuse of a child as anything other than a crime? Plus the poster never mentioned anything about cultural differences as being the reason she didnt know what to do. Her only reason to stay was that her "man" hadnt abused the girls for 3 years.

 

[hmmbrdzz]

Some cultures, like it or not, (I don't) view the husband as the most treasured part of the family regardless if there is sexual abuse of the wife or children going on and regardless if the sexual violence is considered "criminal" by the culture. Surely you're not unaware of this atrocity against women and children, are you? If you are in the position (i.e. educationally prepared) to assist with situations involving sexual violence against women and children and men, then you wouldn't have posted a knee jerk and rude response to the lady's request for help. If you don't have the good sense to respond to such a serious issue with objectivity, then try the next best thing -- kindness. Your response to the issue outright sucked, and I'm glad I could tell you so.

 

[stealth2]

Well, I'll tell ya..... While there may be cultures around the world that turn a blind eye to abuse of all types - the original poster isn't living in one. It is not, and should not be, condoned here - the culture she is living in. While I am all for keeping ties to one's cultural heritage, it is also important to learn the more's of the one in which you make your home. Sexual abuse of children is not acceptable here. It really is that simple.

 

[hmmbrdzz]

Dealing with sexual abuse victims and/or those who report sexual abuse is "not that simple" (as you term it). It's OK if you think it's simple, but if you think that because it's simple it's OK to be rude to someone who requests help regarding sexual abuse, then that's another story.