sharing extra curricular activity costs

[Bloopy]

My sister-in-law is owed modest CS and shares 50/50 custody with her ex. The order states they are to share extra curricular activity costs. They are supposed to have joint decision making.

The child has joined a very expensive hobby/sport that Stepdad and half-brother participate in. Dad has said he’s not paying a dime towards such a silly and expensive sport. Mom became peeved when he wouldn’t even buy Son a helmet for the sport.

They are both remarried and each have a child with their new ex. Dad has four stepchildren. I know that technically that does not affect his obligations to their son, but it does have an impact on his budget and what he may see as a legitimate versus frivolous expense.

Honestly, I haven’t even heard Dad’s side of it. I think that if Mom files contempt charges over this she will get reamed. Any thoughts?

 

[nextwife]

If their agreement states they must share in the decisions on activities, then they must share when the choice of extra curriculars is made.

Heck, I'm MARRIED to my dad's child and I sure cannot and would not willy-nilly just pick out stuff to sign my kid into, and then expect that cost is no object. Even those activities I choose, I still feel I must shop the equipment and buy via Ebay, Craigs list or Play it Again Sports. And shop the activity provider, as there can be huge differences.

I'd sure balk at an ex just walking in somewhere, blindly paying FULL RETAIL, then expecting me to pay half, when I probably could have bought the stuff for half or better of what they paid, AND I was against the activity to begin with.

 

[Bloopy]

I'd sure balk at an ex just walking in somewhere, blindly paying FULL RETAIL, then expecting me to pay half, when I probably could have bought the stuff for half or better of what they paid, AND I was against the activity to begin with.

The helmet was relatively cheap. It would have been cool of Dad to buy it because it’s important to his son and obviously a helmet isn’t frivolous. So maybe, Dad is being a tad petty to not even chip in a helmet for the sport. However, he made it clear he thinks the sport is stupid and is drawing a line in the sand.

I can’t get over the fact that I think the sport is stooopid so my “judgment” is biased. I told my son that even if I won the lottery I wouldn’t have him participate.

 

[stealth2]

Well, come on Bloop - what's the sport?

 

[Ohiogal]

The helmet was relatively cheap. It would have been cool of Dad to buy it because it’s important to his son and obviously a helmet isn’t frivolous. So maybe, Dad is being a tad petty to not even chip in a helmet for the sport. However, he made it clear he thinks the sport is stupid and is drawing a line in the sand.

I can’t get over the fact that I think the sport is stooopid so my “judgment” is biased. I told my son that even if I won the lottery I wouldn’t have him participate.

Actually if mom unilaterally made the decision to enroll sonny boy in stepdad's (which could be an issue) sport then mom unilaterally made the decision to pay for it all.

 

[TKO24]

Heck, I'm MARRIED to my dad's child...

sorry, couldn't resist.

 

[Bloopy]

Well, come on Bloop - what's the sport?

Go carting.

Don’t get nostalgic thinking of a parent and child laboring for months to build their soapbox car to roll down the hill…. Younger children selling lemonade at 5 cents a cup dreaming of when it will be their turn…

Nope. Pure NASCAR wannabes that should take a breathalyzer before racing. Cars are built from stock parts. While maybe some kids actually work on their cars, these get done in a shop. If kids were learning any mechanics it would go far to legitimize the activity. It’s $40 bucks a pop just to race, the cars need constant repair, and there are dozens of other expenses.

The cars get flipped and no one wears a neck brace, uggh. Half-brother started at age 5 with the choke set to 8mph. Now they race at 40.

We’ll sooner see a scholarship available for “Best Dressed Step Daughter” than one for a Go Carter.

I’ve gone carting ONCE and it was fun. But to invest so much time and money and expect Dad to chip in when he’s against it? Not reasonable in my opinion.

 

[penelope10]

Actually if mom unilaterally made the decision to enroll sonny boy in stepdad's (which could be an issue) sport then mom unilaterally made the decision to pay for it all.

Totally agree---Mom would not like it if Dad made such a decision. And "yikes" Dad is a parent too to the child and not just an open wallet! Sounds like it was spelled out in the decree "Joint" decision not "Single" decision.

 

[stealth2]

I sure wouldn't pay for it if it were my kid.

 

[nextwife]

I sure wouldn't pay for it if it were my kid.

Not only would I NOT pay for it, I'd raise holy he** if my kid were being put in a motorized vehicle as a "sport"! Thankfully, my husband has was too much common sense to think placing a child behind the wheel is actually a GOOD thing.

 

[StampGirl]

My Ex and I are just agree to pay for the extra activities that occur on "our" time.

He pays for the kids to go Rock Climbing and all the costs associated with that and I pay for anything that the kids do on my time.

Easy. Simple.

 

[CJane]

If the parents were married, it'd be a joint decision to participate or not participate, pay or not pay.

Shouldn't be any different if the parents aren't married, should it?

If you don't agree, you don't agree. Pay for it yourself then if you're the one that wants to support the activity. Stop trying to USE the obligor parent.

Hey new dude... did you READ the thread?

 

[Ohiogal]

Hey new dude... did you READ the thread?

Um, the answer to that is most likely no. This is the SECOND thread I have seen him jump into with a rant without having any context for said rant.

 

[MrsK]

I sure wouldn't pay for it if it were my kid.

I wouldnt either. No way. & mom didnt even consult dad...I dont think he should have to pay.

 

[wileybunch]

Actually if mom unilaterally made the decision to enroll sonny boy in stepdad's (which could be an issue) sport then mom unilaterally made the decision to pay for it all.

I agree with this, too. I would not pay it.