Should cohabitation affect child support payments?

[Prestaul]

@nextwife, thank you for the first real question. Yes, certainly. She is employed but making substantially less than she was right out of college a decade ago. While we were married she did not work for much of the time and then later started a business/hobby that we knew would never make money but had always been a passion of hers. She continues that business now (it continues to not make money) and works a menial job on the side that allows her to continue in her hobby. If she were not living with another man then she would almost certainly have to take a job that takes advantage of her college degree and would immediately be making at least twice what she is now. Not sure if it matters, but I'm almost certain that she and her current boyfriend have at least one shared bank account (although I'm guessing there is rarely anything in it) as he has taken up what was previously my role in her business.

@TinkerBelleLuvr, thanks for the link (and the unwarranted insult), but that is one that I had already read and is too general to help much.

@mistoffolees, that link is new to me and was helpful, thanks. And, yes, I do have a court order and do have to pay it, but CO law also allows me to petition for a change anytime the payment would adjust by 10% or more.

To all of you, I'm making no assumptions about anything which is why I am here at all. I am already familiar with the state's guidelines but, as I learned when we first settled the divorce, there are no hard and fast rules. The courts have a lot of discretion and the courts will also sign almost anything if the parents come to their own agreement.

Also, I do not assume that anyone else has a responsibility to support my children other than my ex and myself. However, if she went out and took a second job to supplement her income it would affect what I pay her. She has chosen to supplement her income by sharing all of her most substantial expenses with another man. I don't care what (legal) source her income comes from as long as it allows her to support our children properly when they are with her, but to pretend that sharing income with another man does not affect her ability to support our children seems overly simplistic.

 

[Frustrated434]

I resided in CO until this past year but the court jurisdiction for anything having to do with my son is still in CO.

The only income that the courts or FSR (Family Services Registry) consider when calculating child support are of the child's parents. I have been unemployed for several years due to ongoing medical issues and my wife supports our household. Child support has been adjusted because of this and my wife's income (although much higher than my ex's) is not brought into play. The state imputes an income for me. Mine is minimum wage but the amount can vary based on your past job history, skills, etc. Since my injuries prohibit me from returning to the line of work I have always done, I am basically having to start my work history from square one in a new industry. Thus, my past work experience is not considered.

Believe me, the ex tried to use my wife's income in calculating child support but that request was not granted. As others have said, it is possible to do so but it does not happen very often. So to answer your question; no, your ex's significant other's income will not be used whatsoever when calculating the child support that you owe. Only the two parents' income is used and if one or both are underemployed, then an amount is imputed for them.

 

[SESmama]

OP, try flipping it.

You decide to live with a woman of little means. She gets CS from her ex for her kids. That dad wants to lower his CS because she is now living with you. YOUR income is part of the household. Should he be granted a lower CS simply because she is now living with you? Do you want to be supporting not only your children but a good portion of hers as well? Children you had no hand in creating and have no legal rights to?

Not such a pretty thought...

Asking that his income be used to support your children is like asking the taxpayers to support your kids. I know I certainly don't want to!

 

[nextwife]

OP, try flipping it.

You decide to live with a woman of little means. She gets CS from her ex for her kids. That dad wants to lower his CS because she is now living with you. YOUR income is part of the household. Should he be granted a lower CS simply because she is now living with you? Do you want to be supporting not only your children but a good portion of hers as well? Children you had no hand in creating and have no legal rights to?

Not such a pretty thought...

Asking that his income be used to support your children is like asking the taxpayers to support your kids. I know I certainly don't want to!

If spouse doesn't like that there is not sufficient income for pay mom's share of the cost of supporting those kids, then maybe mom should provide a full time income based on what she is capable of earning. If a NCP only dabbled at working, and had a history of earning more, he'd be imputed an income and expected to contribute based upon what he COULD earn.

Why should a NCP be forced to contribute MORE because the CP put the brakes on their own incomes?

 

[SESmama]

That is not what I am saying. I am asking OP if he would be willing to shell out the money to make up for the support the new GF's ex won't be because he got a downward modification because she is now living with OP.

I think he should go back for a modification but not because the ex is living with a new man but because she should be imputed a full time wage if she is not already. It is the (IMO) asinine belief that he gets to pay less because ex moved in with someone.

Let's ask it this way then. Should the ex get more CS if the OP moves in with a woman who makes substantially more than both of the parents? I mean it is the same premise the OP is asking about. He now has more in the household so the ex should get more.

 

[stealth2]

If she is voluntarily un/underemployed? You ask the court to impute her an income. You don't go after her b/f.

 

[Proserpina]

If she is voluntarily un/underemployed? You ask the court to impute her an income. You don't go after her b/f.

I tried suggesting that already


Maybe he'll listen to you

 

[CJane]

If spouse doesn't like that there is not sufficient income for pay mom's share of the cost of supporting those kids, then maybe mom should provide a full time income based on what she is capable of earning. If a NCP only dabbled at working, and had a history of earning more, he'd be imputed an income and expected to contribute based upon what he COULD earn.

Why should a NCP be forced to contribute MORE because the CP put the brakes on their own incomes?

No one is suggesting that the NCP in this case pay more.

He wants to know if he can have his COURT ORDERED payment lowered because Mom has a boyfriend that makes ok money.

The answer is, of course, no.

If Dad had an issue with Mom 'dabbling' at a 'hobby' and working a crappy job to make ends meet while she dabbled, he should have made an issue of it when the original order was being put in place. He didn't - or didn't successfully - and so now he's out of luck.

 

[Prestaul]

Thank you @Frustrated434, that was very helpful.

@nextwife, that is not my situation (I'm not an NCP), but I completely agree with you.

@SESmama, I am glad that you asked the question because it helped me to clarify some things in my own mind. If I had a live-in GF (with her children) then whether I like it or not I am now responsible in many ways for her children. That being said, you are right that the financial responsibility for those children would not be mine. However, as I said before, treating the situation as if nothing had changed still seems overly simplistic to me. The expenses that my GF incurs in order to care for her children would have just dramatically been reduced, perhaps removed entirely. Child support is intended not for the good of the parents, but to serve the best interest of the children. If my GF's expense/income ratio is now lower than her ex's then I think she should in fact be sending him cash. Of course there is no legal support for this, but you asked how I would feel in that situation and I think that this is how I would feel.

On a side note, I can't imagine living with a woman and especially her children unless I was willing and able to take responsibility for them. I realize that may be old fashioned, but anything less would seem wrong...

Thanks for the feedback everyone.