signing away parental right

[milspecgirl]

hmmmmm very interesting.
I wonder if anyone has ever been denied after the open adoption papers had been completed and what the outcome in court was

 

[Sassiuki]

What I am really looking for is to know if there is a cooling-off period after signing away my rights.
I have been friends with the soon-to-be birth mother for 20 years.
In the last few years we have been in and out of touch due to various reasons. It was just last year that we fell back into touch and then asked me for my sperm so that her and her girlfriend (they were married in Vermont several years ago) could have a second child.
I was told in the beginning that they wanted the child (it is a boy) to have all the influences that any other child would have (father, mother(s), grandparents, etc.) and that when the child was old enough to ask- they would announce me as the father.
This was contingent on the fact that her and I were still on talking terms. In the last few weeks we have not been talking as much due to a little spat that we had (not child or pregnancy related).
She recently sent me a letter stating that once the child is born and I have signed all the forms; she will contact me and have me meet the child after a few weeks of settling down as a family together.
I do not find this unreasonable but my only fear is that she is capable of shutting me out completely once I sign the papers and then I will never have the chance to meet the only biological son I would ever have unless he sought to seek me out after he turns 18.
My partner and I have no desire to seek partial custody and unfortunately I am in no position to be financially responsible for child support.
This is the reason for me asking what, if any; is the "cooling-off" period when signing these papers. I just want to see if she contacts me once the baby is born and the papers are signed and the cooling-off period expires.

 

[momofrose]

the only "colling off" period that I know of are for birthmother's - I am not sure there is one in your case. - you really need to contact your own attorney. But again - if you do not want to parent, and do not want to be financially respsonsible..then you really would need to let the cards fall as they may and just accept the child's parents decision (after adoption finalization) regarding contact with you.

D

 

[milspecgirl]

yep- you can't be guaranteed the right of seeing the child as a parent would if you aren't willing to be responsible for financial support as a parent would. You can't have it both ways

 

[milspecgirl]

and even if there was a cooling off period, it isn't going to be for 18 years. She would have the option of cutting you out at any point in the child's life. So, if you want to be guaranteed a part in the child's life- no matter how small, do not sign the papers and be prepared to pay support

 

[proud_parent]

OP, I'll say it again: you really, really need to consult with an attorney. If your jurisdiction's rules for artificial insemination with adoption are not followed correctly, you could be facing some nasty surprises and legal headaches down the road.


There was a famous case in New York [Thomas S. v. Robin Y., 209 A.D.2d 298 (N.Y. App. Div. 1994)] where a sperm donor to a lesbian couple initially asserted he wanted no parental rights or responsibilities, but the couple agreed that the child would know her birthfather when she was old enough. When the child was three, he began to develop a close relationship with her -- frequent visits, letters, gifts, etc. Then he requested to take the child to meet his own parents; the couple balked and cut off contact. There was a lengthy court battle, with the state Supreme Court eventually awarding him standing as the father. The lesbian couple announced their intent to appeal, and he ultimately dropped his application for paternity. This was 13 years after he agreed to be the donor.


Make certain you understand the legal ramifications before the child is born.