SM's against BM's lol.

[VG1013]

What is the name of your state? NEW YORK

I read a post from nicermom about SM's griping about the money their husband's send to the BM's as CS. Personally, I couldn't care less what the SM (my ex's wife) thinks about me lol. She is not my concern, nor is she me...all I am concerned about is that my children get what they need and are well taken care of. My ex became HER problem the minute she married him...and she knew what she was getting into before she married him lol. I am also a SM, and my husband paid CS too...I never once griped or complained about it because the child that this money was going to was innocent, and he deserved the CS. I never once thought if she was using the money on herself and not taking care of her child. Again, that is HER business and problem (if you will) not mine!

The only way I would step in and get in the SM's face is if she abused my kids while in her care. That never happened, so I had nothing to worry about. My ex's wife always griped at the money her husband sent me...he not only was ordered to pay CS, but also ordered to pay me alimony lol. I never let her complaints bother me...because there wasn't a thing she could do about it lol. So I let her waste her breath and time worrying about something she had no control over lol. It consumed her life...and her marriage with my ex, and I went on with mine very happily.

 

[JoandJa'smom]

Now if we all could have the attitude you have we would be better off!

JoandJa'smom

 

[VG1013]

Thanx Jo...it is the only way to get on with your life in situations like this. She is the one who spent all her days worrying and complaining about it.....not me lol. She is the one who allowed this to consume her life and marriage, and allowed her world to revolve around it lol. Not me! If more BM's would try what I have tried...they would live their life more pleasant. If more SM's would take the attitude I have taken...their marriage's would last longer lol.

 

[ktarra617]

it would be nice if everyone could have that same attitude. However not everyone does. Due to the fact of situations just being different. My DH pays support faithfully every month. I don't complain about it because every month we pay is one month closer to being done. What makes it hard to deal with is the BM has to call every time the court is late in sending her check out or reminding us that she needs to know when my hubby gets a raise because she might be eligible for a raise in support....she doesn't get alimony so she tries to get every penny from us that she can.

on the flipside I have to hear my ex and his wife complain about being hauled in for contempt every few months because he doesn't want to pay support. I could be very happy if the ex spouses could just go along with their lives but unfortunately one has to remind us that she might need MORE money(as if she doesn't get enough already) and the other wants to b*tch about having to provide for his child because he chose to have THREE more kids with his wife....so its a daily thing to remember just to be happy and love and pray for them anyway no matter how much they irk you....

 

[VG1013]

Oh I call my ex when he's late with CS too lol. I know that must make his wife angry...but if he wasn't late, then I wouldn't have to call....and she wouldn't have to get angry lol. It's really all up to the ex...if he doesn't want to hear his wife B***h about me calling for the CS, he should be on time with the payments, it's that simple.

 

[hexeliebe]

And women wonder why we love sheep

 

[VG1013]

LMFAOOOOOO hex....your different. You do what is right by your kids.

 

[ktarra617]

actually its not quite that simple. I personally go down on every pay day and write a check to the court for her child support. It is not my problem or my husband's problem if the COURT does not get her check to her in the time she would like. We are only involved in that the check must go through the court after that it is out of our hands.....this is according to our attorney as well that the next time she calls to find out why the court hasn't mailed the check to her yet we can tell her to call the court and hang up on her...

after its in the courts hands its not our problem...she just likes to bitch about it. She would prefer that we pay her directly but my hubby prefers the court to handle because that way there is a record....

its not always that black and white and don't assume that just because your ex is late in paying means that everyone is late in paying. We pay on time every time, without fail.

 

[VG1013]

I NEVER assume anything ok? I only speak for myself, and my experiences. My ex pays me directly...and there is a record of it. He pays by personal check and that's his record. Before he did that, I would get cash and sign a receipt that I recieved the CS & alimony, always a record lol.

I have nothing against SM's...I am a SM myself, but I don't get involved with the CS payments or the BM...to me, that's between my husband and his ex....and their problem, not mine! That's how I stay so calm and serene, and don't go nutz like some SM's do lol.

 

[ktarra617]

I apologize if I am mistaken, but in reality if you wanted to you could claim that you haven't recieved a darn thing since it isn't paid through the court. A lot of women do this, and then he could be ordered to pay again!

I'm not saying that you would do this but my hubby's ex would. Now that I have been told by my hubby's attorney to tell her to call the court and hang up I will do just that. The CS issue is between her and my husband. She usually calls me because he won't answer her calls directly at work. He screens them so that he can determine if its really an emergency that they need to talk then or it can wait till he gets home. When she doesn't get ahold of him she calls me because she knows I will answer the phone.

I usually listen to what she wants and tell her my husband will be home at such and such time and to call back then. It just really gets bothersome when she is so concerned about the money.

I don't like paying it but it is my husband's responsibility to make sure that his child is provided for. So I don't complain to him or her about it(besides its not forever). I just get tired of her always asking for more money.

Otherwise I don't worry what she is doing, has done or will be doing. her life is her life and our is ours, I just wish she would happily go along with her life without trying to constantly harrass us when things don't go exactly as she wants them too.

Life goes along much easier when you realize that its not about the money. The kids are more important than money ever could be..

Just my 2 cents..

 

[hexeliebe]

I personally go down on every pay day

Ah, what a vision

 

[ktarra617]

maybe i should have phrased that better, but i can laugh at myself... lol