Stepmother contacting me AGAIN!

[kik1999]

What is the name of your state? Ohio

My previous thread is closed, here is the link: https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=375408

I will be filing a civil restraining order on Friday due to the phone call made by my ex husband's wife into my company, accusing me of drug use. I have asked her several times NOT to contact me a) at all and b) not on my company email. I phoned my ex hubby yesterday regarding my daughter's school pictures and the ordering process, etc. Once again, I have received an email, from his wife regarding what they are going to do, etc. How do I or should I respond? So far, I have forwarded the email to my ex asking him to contact me directly (instead of her contacting me). Is there anything else I should do? Or should I just save this and include it in with all the other emails I have saved from her, including the absolute LAST one I wrote informing her to cease contact immediately.

The email is cordial, but I do not want to co-parent with the step-mom. I didn't have a child with her, I shouldn't be forced to deal with her.

Thanks in advance for your replies!What is the name of your state?

 

[Ohiogal]

Save all emails.

 

[kik1999]

Save all emails.

Thanks OG. Is it reasonable to revisit the CO just for the simple fact of not having SM involved in the situation? I am tired of his "oh, she's notifying you b/c I'll forget to mention it" and "she's just trying to help" bs. I did NOT marry this woman, and did NOT have a child with her, therefore, I should NOT have to communicate with her. Things run smoother when it's just he and I communicating. I wish he'd see the problems she causes! (sorry, frustration coming out)

This would be the sole purpose for me initiating re-visiting the court order - to keep her out. Now, I'm sure it will open up a whole other can of worms on his end, but for me, I just want her to butt out. She hasn't gotten to the point of writing her name down in place of mine like some that I've read about, but you can see the extent she goes to when she gets pissed off (calling my work and accusing me - falsely- of doing drugs). I don't believe I should be forced to deal with her instead of him, just b/c they are married.

 

[milspecgirl]

personally, i would not go to the trouble of going to court. i would contact him and state you haven't heard anything about the pics and what does he want to do. when he says she emailed you- inform him that her email is blocked or ignored or whatever and that you only communicate with him so you need to know what he wants to do. therefore, since you have heard nothing from HIM, you need to know
now, I am a stepmom and a mom and while I don't like the stepmom, i deal with her. why? because he won't answer a question without her. it is quicker and easier to deal with her (however, she has never harrassed me)
also, as the stepmom, I deal with all of the day to day things and finances. my husband wouldn't be able to answer a question because that just isn't something he'd know. so, it just takes longer to get an answer

 

[Ohiogal]

personally, i would not go to the trouble of going to court. i would contact him and state you haven't heard anything about the pics and what does he want to do. when he says she emailed you- inform him that her email is blocked or ignored or whatever and that you only communicate with him so you need to know what he wants to do. therefore, since you have heard nothing from HIM, you need to know

I agree with this.

now, I am a stepmom and a mom and while I don't like the stepmom, i deal with her. why? because he won't answer a question without her. it is quicker and easier to deal with her (however, she has never harrassed me)

But she still should not be involved in coparenting with you.

also, as the stepmom, I deal with all of the day to day things and finances. my husband wouldn't be able to answer a question because that just isn't something he'd know. so, it just takes longer to get an answer

And you should not be involved in coparenting the other child.
here is the thing -- in Ohio the courts do NOT like stepparents and sig others interfering in the coparenting which is supposed to take place between the two parents. OP the better thing to do is get a restraining order against Stepmom prohibiting her from contacting you, your place of employment and not allowing her anywhere near you.

 

[kik1999]

I agree with this.



But she still should not be involved in coparenting with you.



And you should not be involved in coparenting the other child.
here is the thing -- in Ohio the courts do NOT like stepparents and sig others interfering in the coparenting which is supposed to take place between the two parents. OP the better thing to do is get a restraining order against Stepmom prohibiting her from contacting you, your place of employment and not allowing her anywhere near you.

I understand it's not worth going back to court on, makes sense that the restraining order will hopefully take care of this issue.

Mils, what may work out for you (working with the step-parent) might not always be so for everyone. I used to get along with her fine, but we don't now, and I didn't freaking marry her...HE did! It's not my fault he can't form a sentence without her instructing his every move. Good for her, she's now controlling the puppet I didn't want. However, my court order does not include her, so I don't have to speak with her about anything. The only person THAT is making it easier on (speaking with her instead of him), is HIM! Not me!

 

[FM step mom]

Step Mom

I have the opposite problem, I am the step mom and the mother wants to discuss everything with me since you know mother to mother, is what she says. That is the only thin we have in common, we are day and night and I no interest in talking to her. I have recently stopped taking the calls but she just calls more and more very frustrating, hard to ignore you want to answer the phone and tell them to just stop. I will say this because we are very busy with a house, jobs, kids, and all of that when she calls my husband tells her he will talk to me and let her know. That really makes her mad but I use to tell her the same thing, but she doesn't remember that. I feel like I am the woman telling her husband what to say when he calls her back but my husband works 6 days a week and I normally make a calendar and write everything in so we are all where we are suppose to be. So maybe she is the one trying to keep track of everyone and the schedule kind of like bills but I also don't blame you for not wanting to talk to her. I have read and heard that you can even file phone harassment charges. Maybe send a certified letter stating the number you wish HE the dad call to make arrangements that is what we did. We only gave her one number for contact to talk to us and put in there that the daughter can call on any number and encourge her to do so when she is with the mother. Going back to court gets messy we try everything before having to do that. GOOD LUCK, I feel your pain!!!!!!!!!

 

[kik1999]

I have the opposite problem, I am the step mom and the mother wants to discuss everything with me since you know mother to mother, is what she says. That is the only thin we have in common, we are day and night and I no interest in talking to her. I have recently stopped taking the calls but she just calls more and more very frustrating, hard to ignore you want to answer the phone and tell them to just stop. I will say this because we are very busy with a house, jobs, kids, and all of that when she calls my husband tells her he will talk to me and let her know. That really makes her mad but I use to tell her the same thing, but she doesn't remember that. I feel like I am the woman telling her husband what to say when he calls her back but my husband works 6 days a week and I normally make a calendar and write everything in so we are all where we are suppose to be. So maybe she is the one trying to keep track of everyone and the schedule kind of like bills but I also don't blame you for not wanting to talk to her. I have read and heard that you can even file phone harassment charges. Maybe send a certified letter stating the number you wish HE the dad call to make arrangements that is what we did. We only gave her one number for contact to talk to us and put in there that the daughter can call on any number and encourge her to do so when she is with the mother. Going back to court gets messy we try everything before having to do that. GOOD LUCK, I feel your pain!!!!!!!!!

My problem is that she is contacting me via my company email and won't stop.

Update: I went to file the restraining order today...they will NOT take my complaint. They said since she is contacting me regarding the child and not to threaten me, there's nothing they can do. Since I didn't suffer any 'damages' at work, it's kind of a moot point?

So basically, I can call someone over and over, even if they don't want me to, and as long as I'm not threatening, it's not considered harrassment? It doesn't make any sense!

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Have you sent a letter to the ex, certified return receipt requested, that YOU want to have NO CONTACT by her. If she continues, then you have a basis for harrassment.

 

[kik1999]

Have you sent a letter to the ex, certified return receipt requested, that YOU want to have NO CONTACT by her. If she continues, then you have a basis for harrassment.

What a FABULOUS idea. Now why didn't the attorney suggest that? He said he 'wouldn't feel comfortable' sending her a letter telling her to not contact me. But I never thought to do it myself. Question, what happens if she avoids service?

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Send it my both regular mail and CRRR. Also, hand a copy to your ex when you see him next. Cover all your bases. And if your ex receives emails, send it by email too.

Just be polite. Tell him that any communication is between him and you (bad grammar here). He cannot use the stepmom to communicate.

KEEP IT POLITE.

 

[kik1999]

Send it my both regular mail and CRRR. Also, hand a copy to your ex when you see him next. Cover all your bases. And if your ex receives emails, send it by email too.

Just be polite. Tell him that any communication is between him and you (bad grammar here). He cannot use the stepmom to communicate.

KEEP IT POLITE.

Well, email base is well covered. So, I should address it to him, advise him to only contact me regarding any communication regarding our daughter, and list my contact info. Am I missing anything?