summer visit

[ejmmolina]

What is the name of your state?texas According to our court papers birth mother is required to give husband writen notice by april 1 of the days she wants for summer visitation. If she does not do this her default visitation is june 15th thru july 27. Now if she calls july 1 and wants the kids are we correct to think she only gets them until the 27th according to our papers? That once April first comes and goes her visitation is as stated in the papers and we dont have to provide them to her past that date? Or before for that matter?? We have no problem with her having them but would like to plan our own family vacation. We plan on the first week of August that way no matter what her time should be over and we will not be interfering with her time.

 

[jslopez711]

What is the name of your state?texas According to our court papers birth mother is required to give husband writen notice by april 1 of the days she wants for summer visitation. If she does not do this her default visitation is june 15th thru july 27. Now if she calls july 1 and wants the kids are we correct to think she only gets them until the 27th according to our papers? That once April first comes and goes her visitation is as stated in the papers and we dont have to provide them to her past that date? Or before for that matter?? We have no problem with her having them but would like to plan our own family vacation. We plan on the first week of August that way no matter what her time should be over and we will not be interfering with her time.

Call her up and explain to her the plans you have, this is far more efficient than the approach you are going to undertake.

 

[stealth2]

What is the name of your state?texas According to our court papers birth mother is required to give husband writen notice by april 1 of the days she wants for summer visitation. If she does not do this her default visitation is june 15th thru july 27. Now if she calls july 1 and wants the kids are we correct to think she only gets them until the 27th according to our papers? That once April first comes and goes her visitation is as stated in the papers and we dont have to provide them to her past that date? Or before for that matter?? We have no problem with her having them but would like to plan our own family vacation. We plan on the first week of August that way no matter what her time should be over and we will not be interfering with her time.

Fair enough - as long as you don't plan that vacation before April 1.

 

[LdiJ]

Wouldn't it simply be wiser to remind her that she needs to select her dates by April 1st, and that if she does not select them that the default dates will automatically go into effect?

 

[Inquiry123]

Written notice...

e:

Written notice works both ways. I'm betting that you're not going to send the ex a reminder, a wake-up-call, or a fruit basket. OK, then be sure and follow the rules...

Remember (as it's spelled-out in the order,) as long as the written notice is postmarked by April 1, it meets the time restriction. So, you may want to give an extra week for any notice to make it to you in the mail.

Once that time has passed, you can hold to the default visitation dates if you choose. And, with proper notice on your part, designate 1 or 2 weekend visits that you will make if the default summer visitation is exercised.

By April 15, you will also need to give written notice of your planned extended summer possession to ensure that undisturbed vacation (if that's how you want it.)

I have a semi-funny story about this topic but will save for next time! Goodnight.

 

[ejmmolina]

As far as my husband being able to get the boys for 2 weekends during her time....... he has no intention of doing so. If she chooses to use her visitation she will get the whole time uninterupted. She has not seen the boys since December 25th. She has not spoken to them since December 26th. She has not called or emailed or even writen a letter. Before then it was the first week of september that she spoke and the end of august that she saw them. Please forgive me that we are not jumping at the chance to remind her to read her court papers. We have had the same orderes since January of 2002. Not once has she given her writen notice. Not once has she been denied her kids. We have canceld vacations to work with her, we will not do it anymore. She doesnt use her every other weekend visitation should we be reminding her of this too. And yes we know to give it a week or so for the letter to arrive. We always wait until the 15th just to be safe. I dont mean to seem rude but we are tired of her games and have decided not to play them anymore.

 

[Inquiry123]

Las Vegas, here I come!

No wonder USAToday reports that fruit basket sales are off 40% in TX!

Just make a note to send your notice by April 15 to cover your vacation time.

 

[ejmmolina]

So we should send a letter letting her know we are going on vacation the first week of august?? Even though it wont interfer with her time??? We were not aware that we had to do this. We thought it was just if he wants to get them for 2 weekends during her summer visit he has to let her know. Thanks for letting us know will make sure we get the letter to her by the 15th.

 

[stealth2]

Unless Dad's order requires it, he's not required to do so.

 

[ejmmolina]

It just says for his two weekends during her time he has to have the letter to her by the 15th. But we never ask for those weekends. Nothing about when the boys are brought home and his summer time begins. We arent even sure she will try to get them again. She did not pick them up for spring break, or any of her weekends this year. She has missed all her appointments with their court appointed therapist. Her lawyer quit and we havent heard from her in 3 months.
The boys dont even ask about her. Thier therapist says they told her she doesnt call or come to see them. Anyways thank you for the info.

 

[LdiJ]

Here is why I think you should pin it down.....If she gets 6 weeks in the summer and for some reason or another you allow her to take them without giving you notice but after the default dates...then she might not give them back until her 6 weeks are over.....therefore messing up your vacation plans....and there would be "squat" that you could do....particularly if she doesn't inform you that she isn't giving them back until the last minute.

If it were me....I would be sending her a certified letter NOW, reminding her that she has to inform you of her summer dates by April 1st....I would include in the letter that if she doesn't inform you of dates that the default dates will automatically apply. I would also require her to confirm that she will be taking the default dates no later than say...May 31st....and that if she doesn't confirm you will assume that she doesn't intend to exercise summer visitation. I would also include a recap of all the visitation that she has NOT exercised in the past year. I would not only send that letter to her, but also to her attorney (if she has one) and the court.

I assume that you have documented the fact that she hasn't been exercising her visitation...and you will have given her time to confirm that she does intend to exercise summer visitation. I can't guarantee that you won't get in trouble for denying if she demands visitation during the default period...but at least everyone will be "on notice" that she hasn't been exercising visitation and that you asked for confirmation.

 

[Jillian483]

Wouldn't it simply be wiser to remind her that she needs to select her dates by April 1st, and that if she does not select them that the default dates will automatically go into effect?

YES! Call her soon and tell her that she only has a little time left for her request for visitation. After April 1st passes, go ahead and plan your vacation. You answered your question right in your post. Also not to be sneaky but if it is really imparitive for you to have a vacation (and before stealth and plum rip this apart, I am NOT telling you to do this) If she does not send her request via certified mail and instead just calls you can she really prove that she requested the time?

 

[ejmmolina]

Good point..... Will make sure to remind her. Dont want our vacation ruined because she keeps them longer. If she chooses not to take them then more time for us. We dont plan on leaving the state just going to Galveston for a week.

Can we send a letter like that to the court??? I thought our lawyer had to handle things like that. Should we send him a copy of our letter to her??? I would ask him these questions but it seems every time i speak to him we get a bill for 250.00. Well thanks again

 

[Jillian483]

Good point..... Will make sure to remind her. Dont want our vacation ruined because she keeps them longer. If she chooses not to take them then more time for us. We dont plan on leaving the state just going to Galveston for a week.

Can we send a letter like that to the court??? I thought our lawyer had to handle things like that. Should we send him a copy of our letter to her??? I would ask him these questions but it seems every time i speak to him we get a bill for 250.00. Well thanks again

I don't know what you mean by send a letter to the court. Also I don't know about your state but in Arizona you cannot file ANYTHING with the courts if you are still represented by a lawyer. If you want to file anything you will probably have to have him file throught the courthouse that he has withdrawn as your lawyer. Also I would simply call her and inform her that her time is running out or OH I DON"T KNOW let her screw herself over and not remind her.

 

[ejmmolina]

If she doesnt send the letter my husband doesnt want to bend over backwards for her anymore. After the way she screwed us over last year forget it. So I guess we will see what happens. Its really hard for us to want to help her remeber her visitations because she is soooooo sorry. This is a person who told us her mom died and then her mom showed up at our house a year later. She also told us she had cancer and only had 3 years to live. In court it came out that she indeed does not have cancer and was just upset with my husband and wanted him to feel sorry for her. She has yet to show up to any of their birthday parties, even though she has promised the boys she owuld be there. I cant believe people like her really exsist. Oh well hopefully one day she will grow up and relize she has missed out on two of the greatest kids alive.