Summer visitation for NCP

[Halls]

What is the name of your state? Texas

NCP and CP are joint managing conservators. NCP has regular standard visitation. Child is at NCP's for his summer visitation time. Just found out yesterday that NCP has left child in the care of SM and hasn't been there but one night out of 10 days. NCP is in Seattle on business and will not be spending any of his summer time with child as next week the child is being sent to NCP's mom's house(grandma) for the remainder of the summer visitation. So basically the entire 4 weeks of summer visitation for the NCP is spent in someone else's care.

Question? Obviously since there is no FROR in the court order CP can't go pick up her child, but could this issue be something a judge would consider giving the CP/mom the FROR now? Is this enough for a modification?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

What is the name of your state? Texas

NCP and CP are joint managing conservators. NCP has regular standard visitation. Child is at NCP's for his summer visitation time. Just found out yesterday that NCP has left child in the care of SM and hasn't been there but one night out of 10 days. NCP is in Seattle on business and will not be spending any of his summer time with child as next week the child is being sent to NCP's mom's house(grandma) for the remainder of the summer visitation. So basically the entire 4 weeks of summer visitation for the NCP is spent in someone else's care.

Question? Obviously since there is no FROR in the court order CP can't go pick up her child, but could this issue be something a judge would consider giving the CP/mom the FROR now? Is this enough for a modification?

Under the SOP NCP is allowed to use their time as they please as long as

(f) Either parent may designate any competent adult to pick up and return the child, as applicable. A parent or a designated competent adult shall be present when the child is picked up or returned.

Although it is preferred they spend the time together, it is not required that they be present, so as long as NCP is exercising their visitation the court is unlikely to give you ROFR in order to keep child from contact with SM and GP. IF NCP fails to give notice of not exercising Visitaiton, a number of times, then you could modify the order, but not because they do and you don't like who is with the child..

 

[mom16]

I am also in Texas - I received a ROFR due to the exact same issues - mine states if the child will not be in the care of a parent for more than 16 hours excluding school then the other parent has ROFR.

 

[jslopez711]

What is the name of your state? Texas

NCP and CP are joint managing conservators. NCP has regular standard visitation. Child is at NCP's for his summer visitation time. Just found out yesterday that NCP has left child in the care of SM and hasn't been there but one night out of 10 days. NCP is in Seattle on business and will not be spending any of his summer time with child as next week the child is being sent to NCP's mom's house(grandma) for the remainder of the summer visitation. So basically the entire 4 weeks of summer visitation for the NCP is spent in someone else's care.

Question? Obviously since there is no FROR in the court order CP can't go pick up her child, but could this issue be something a judge would consider giving the CP/mom the FROR now? Is this enough for a modification?

Simple. Call up NCP and say that you are willing to be more flexible and give NCP other times if you can pick up the child now because you understand that dad is on business travel and you know how much your child needs the both of you. This is a good first approach.

 

[meribeth]

do they live in the same area? I have known a few people who have the ROFR but it has a sipulation that if the parents are in the same geographic area. They do this because lets say the parents live 15 hours apart and the child goes to the other parents house for timesharing, well during that timesharign they spend a weekend or week with the Grandparents that are the area as the parent who the child is visiting. Well if the other parent has the ROFR then the child would not be able to spend time with their Grandparents otherwise. I have also seen judges not invoke a ROFR to parents who are at a geographic distance so that a spiteful parent could not hinder the child relationship with their family.

 

[Halls]

We live in the same area, only 30 minutes or less apart.

I would offer NCP/father make up time but he is to come home 2 weeks before school starts so there is no summer makeup time available. Jslopez, that is a good idea and I'm thinking of e-mailing dad my feelings on this and tell him our son needs both of us, but I've been down this road with him before and he doesn't care. Sad thing is our son hates being left with SM. Talked to son yesterday and he says he misses his dad and that his dadlets him swim in their backyard pool and does things with him, but when he is gone(most of the time) SM is in her office all day(she works out of the house) and doesn't let him do anything, doesn't take him anywhere, and he sits in a room all day. If son was allowed to come home with me he'd get to go swimming, hang with friends, play with his only sibling. NCP is very much aware of this from our of my mouth, but son has never told him how he feels and son told me he was going to tell dad how this makes him feel when he gets back. Maybe dad will listen to our son.

mom16, 4 years ago I asked the judge for ROFR and he said no and issued everything standard. I tried, it failed. I tried to tell the judge this was what wasgoing to happen, but he didn't listen. There is nothing I can do about that now.

 

[Halls]

I cannot call my ex, he is out of reach. I did decide to e-mail him now. If I don't hear back from him than I know he said no and there is nothing I can do about it. All I can do is tell him how it feels and let him make the decision.

Here is what I said,

"Hey *****, I was unaware you weren't going to be home most of the time during these first 2 weeks of your summertime with *****. You know my feelings on this, I can't change your mind. I wish you would have told me you were going to be leaving ***** in the care of SM.

*******, If you are going to be out of town on your time I don't mind offering makeup time so that you can spend it with son as long as he comes home to me most of the time if you aren't going to be there at all. I saw son yesterday for a bit so he could go to his friends party. He told me you were gone. He was so sad *****. He told me when you are there you do things with him like swimming. He says he has so much fun with you. He did not say he didn't like being with Traci, just how much he enjoys spending time with you and he said it hurts his feelings that you have left him on your time. He doesn't get to spend time enough with you as it is. Obviously you had to go to Seattle to work, I understand that. But please, I'm going to bring this to your attention and ask you again to consider letting son come home and be with me if you aren't going be there. One night wouldn't be that big of a deal, but son told me you haven't been there but maybe one night since he came to your house to stay. In my opinion this is not fair to do to son like this.

I understand you wanting son to go visit your mom for a week or so on your summertime visitation as she doesn't get to see him that often. I think that is fine and reasonable. I do not believe what is happening now is reasonable. I want to work with you ****** and Coparent with you. I remember when we went to Coparenting together that we did learn that we should communicate with each other over issues regardless of if it goes our way or not.

I'm asking you to look at this again from sons point of view. I'm asking you to let son come home if you cannot excercise your time with him. I will work with you. Heck, if Friday nights are a good night for you to spend time with son we can rearrage weekends where you get him many Friday nights and can pick him up early just so he can see you and spend time with you. He needs you *****, badly!! I saw it in his little eyes yesterday. Please reconsider this and look at it from sons angle. I'm willing to get him back to you to get him to your moms or if you come back. I'm willing to be helpful in any way. I want him to spend time with you, not the opposite. If I was leaving town for a week and you were availble ******, I'd call you and see if you would want to spend some time with son. We are his parents and he needs US before anyone else.

Please consider this *****, ******

 

[jslopez711]

I cannot call my ex, he is out of reach. I did decide to e-mail him now. If I don't hear back from him than I know he said no and there is nothing I can do about it. All I can do is tell him how it feels and let him make the decision.

Here is what I said,

"Hey *****, I was unaware you weren't going to be home most of the time during these first 2 weeks of your summertime with *****. You know my feelings on this, I can't change your mind. I wish you would have told me you were going to be leaving ***** in the care of SM.

*******, If you are going to be out of town on your time I don't mind offering makeup time so that you can spend it with son as long as he comes home to me most of the time if you aren't going to be there at all. I saw son yesterday for a bit so he could go to his friends party. He told me you were gone. He was so sad *****. He told me when you are there you do things with him like swimming. He says he has so much fun with you. He did not say he didn't like being with Traci, just how much he enjoys spending time with you and he said it hurts his feelings that you have left him on your time. He doesn't get to spend time enough with you as it is. Obviously you had to go to Seattle to work, I understand that. But please, I'm going to bring this to your attention and ask you again to consider letting son come home and be with me if you aren't going be there. One night wouldn't be that big of a deal, but son told me you haven't been there but maybe one night since he came to your house to stay. In my opinion this is not fair to do to son like this.

I understand you wanting son to go visit your mom for a week or so on your summertime visitation as she doesn't get to see him that often. I think that is fine and reasonable. I do not believe what is happening now is reasonable. I want to work with you ****** and Coparent with you. I remember when we went to Coparenting together that we did learn that we should communicate with each other over issues regardless of if it goes our way or not.

I'm asking you to look at this again from sons point of view. I'm asking you to let son come home if you cannot excercise your time with him. I will work with you. Heck, if Friday nights are a good night for you to spend time with son we can rearrage weekends where you get him many Friday nights and can pick him up early just so he can see you and spend time with you. He needs you *****, badly!! I saw it in his little eyes yesterday. Please reconsider this and look at it from sons angle. I'm willing to get him back to you to get him to your moms or if you come back. I'm willing to be helpful in any way. I want him to spend time with you, not the opposite. If I was leaving town for a week and you were availble ******, I'd call you and see if you would want to spend some time with son. We are his parents and he needs US before anyone else.

Please consider this *****, ******

And that is all you can hope for. What happened to me is that I had to keep telling my ex the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over.... you get the point. You must keep trying until there is light. if for anyone your son.

Best of luck.

Jr.

 

[Halls]

Well, this time my son is old enough to tell dad how he feels. He told me he was going t tell dad that this was crap. I'm sure sooner or later dad will see this is wrong, but you areright all I can do is keep telling him this over and over everytime this happens. I don't think a judge will do anything at this point. I think most judges believe that a parent wouldn't do such moronic things but they do and they leave it up to us to work out between us. It makes sense really, but it is sad.

 

[Halls]

Well, the e-mail once again didn't work. IN fact he thinks I am insulting SM and thinks it is ok to be away from his son and leave him in the care of SM for however long he wants.

He asked me to respond. I did. Told him we will have to agree to disagree cause I can't see it his way and never will. Theman fought me in court to get visitation rights 4 years ago only to skip out on being with his son only to dump him on someone else. I don't think it is right, but there is nothing I can do about it. I'm not the kind of person to make things get ugly by taking them into court so oh well.

Such a shame.

 

[tigger22472]

Good deal cuz really this doesn't seem to be a hill worth dying on. Unless the child is being neglected or abused you aren't likely to get the visitation taken anyway and run a high risk of being told Dad could do what he wanted on his time and if a lot of that time means spending it with his grandparents then you're again going to have to show harm.

Does dad have any children with SM? Has dad and SM been together for some time and does she have any other children? The point in those questions is if there is another sibling in the house, even though dad is not there, it can be a good thing and although SM's children have no legal or biological standing they do often times have an impact on the child.

 

[Halls]

No tigger, there are no other children. Sm has none and dad has no more than our son. I however have a son, my oldest sons half sibling.