TPA hearing Wednesday...question about the schedule to request?

[InfantCustody]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Hello,

Quick refresher: Baby is 4 months old and has been seeing Dad 5-6 hours, two times per week. Last week, he did one overnight. Aside from Dad texting 16 times in the 4 hours leading up to bedtime because he didn't know how to do things, it went well.

So, I go to the TPA hearing on Wednesday at 8:30 AM. The attorneys have been trying to work something out, but as usuall Dad is being a horses rear end! We were never married.....

He wants the following:

72 consecutive hours each week on his three days off. In addition, during any month when his days off DO NOT include a Saturday or Sunday, he wants one week-end per month, Friday at 5 - Sunday at 5, for his family to have "family parenting time" with Sullivan. Thus, giving him 14 of every 28 days.

Additionally, he will "allow" me one week-end per month where I have Sullivan Fri-Sunday if it is a month he has week-ends off, but only if he can "make up" that time on his work days and let his family take care of the baby OR have the baby on the road by 4:45 am and drop him off with me at 5:30 am - picking him back up at 5:00 pm.

My question: I have offered him what I feel is "generous" for parenting time (48 hours every week, with 72 hours on the weeks surrounding the one week-end I have) and he said no. Told me to shove it where the sun doesn't shine.

If I go into court and request he be granted 24 hours per week on one of his days off, in addition to every other week-end from Friday at 5 until Sunday at 5, regardless of his work schedule, do you think the judge will go for it? If not, the schedule is full of constant disruption and inconsistency and Dad is never, never, never happy. EVER!

I would say his family could either care for the baby on his week-ends, or he could drop him off with me if he desired.

Do courts always fold around a parents rotational schedule, or are non-custodial parents expected to manage working with children just as custodial parents?

Thank you, as always...



ETA:

Dad wants the papers to say "Both parties shall comply with all necessary steps to secure a passport for the child. In the event either party wants to travek with ******** out of the Country, they shall notify the other parent of their plans, intended dates of travel, specific destinations, flight information, and land line phone numbers. Neither parent will have the right to object to international travel."

Is that standard?

As you may remember, I had concerns about Dad taking him out of the Country based on some things he has said. Would you object to this?

 

[CSO286]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Hello,

Quick refresher: Baby is 4 months old and has been seeing Dad 5-6 hours, two times per week. Last week, he did one overnight. Aside from Dad texting 16 times in the 4 hours leading up to bedtime because he didn't know how to do things, it went well.

So, I go to the TPA hearing on Wednesday at 8:30 AM. The attorneys have been trying to work something out, but as usuall Dad is being a horses rear end! We were never married.....

He wants the following:

72 consecutive hours each week on his three days off. In addition, during any month when his days off DO NOT include a Saturday or Sunday, he wants one week-end per month, Friday at 5 - Sunday at 5, for his family to have "family parenting time" with Sullivan. Thus, giving him 14 of every 28 days.

Additionally, he will "allow" me one week-end per month where I have Sullivan Fri-Sunday if it is a month he has week-ends off, but only if he can "make up" that time on his work days and let his family take care of the baby OR have the baby on the road by 4:45 am and drop him off with me at 5:30 am - picking him back up at 5:00 pm.

My question: I have offered him what I feel is "generous" for parenting time (48 hours every week, with 72 hours on the weeks surrounding the one week-end I have) and he said no. Told me to shove it where the sun doesn't shine.

If I go into court and request he be granted 24 hours per week on one of his days off, in addition to every other week-end from Friday at 5 until Sunday at 5, regardless of his work schedule, do you think the judge will go for it? If not, the schedule is full of constant disruption and inconsistency and Dad is never, never, never happy. EVER!

I would say his family could either care for the baby on his week-ends, or he could drop him off with me if he desired.

Do courts always fold around a parents rotational schedule, or are non-custodial parents expected to manage working with children just as custodial parents?

Thank you, as always...



ETA:

Dad wants the papers to say "Both parties shall comply with all necessary steps to secure a passport for the child. In the event either party wants to travek with ******** out of the Country, they shall notify the other parent of their plans, intended dates of travel, specific destinations, flight information, and land line phone numbers. Neither parent will have the right to object to international travel."

Is that standard?

As you may remember, I had concerns about Dad taking him out of the Country based on some things he has said. Would you object to this?

I'd be jumping up and down objecting to this. What it amounts to is you saying to dad--"I think we're going to go to Yellowstone for the fourth this year." And dad saying "Nope I'm taking Junior and we're going to go to Cozumel and you have no right to object to international travel."


I think that your proposed schedule is fine, but you'll probably want to narrow down the days. or if the weekday parenting time is to coincide with Dad's days off, require that Dad provide a copy of the schedule as soon as it becomes available. That way, you can plan effectively as well.

 

[CJane]

IIRC, Dad knows about his schedule about 30 days in advance?

I would work right now, towards a schedule that sets up a minimum of X hours/week on Dad's days off, with the option for more time as his schedule permits and with advance notice of that schedule.

I would absolutely NOT agree to the international travel clause. It's nowhere near standard.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Hello,

Quick refresher: Baby is 4 months old and has been seeing Dad 5-6 hours, two times per week. Last week, he did one overnight. Aside from Dad texting 16 times in the 4 hours leading up to bedtime because he didn't know how to do things, it went well.

So, I go to the TPA hearing on Wednesday at 8:30 AM. The attorneys have been trying to work something out, but as usuall Dad is being a horses rear end! We were never married.....

He wants the following:

72 consecutive hours each week on his three days off. In addition, during any month when his days off DO NOT include a Saturday or Sunday, he wants one week-end per month, Friday at 5 - Sunday at 5, for his family to have "family parenting time" with Sullivan. Thus, giving him 14 of every 28 days.

Additionally, he will "allow" me one week-end per month where I have Sullivan Fri-Sunday if it is a month he has week-ends off, but only if he can "make up" that time on his work days and let his family take care of the baby OR have the baby on the road by 4:45 am and drop him off with me at 5:30 am - picking him back up at 5:00 pm.

My question: I have offered him what I feel is "generous" for parenting time (48 hours every week, with 72 hours on the weeks surrounding the one week-end I have) and he said no. Told me to shove it where the sun doesn't shine.

If I go into court and request he be granted 24 hours per week on one of his days off, in addition to every other week-end from Friday at 5 until Sunday at 5, regardless of his work schedule, do you think the judge will go for it? If not, the schedule is full of constant disruption and inconsistency and Dad is never, never, never happy. EVER!

I would say his family could either care for the baby on his week-ends, or he could drop him off with me if he desired.

Do courts always fold around a parents rotational schedule, or are non-custodial parents expected to manage working with children just as custodial parents?

Thank you, as always...



ETA:

Dad wants the papers to say "Both parties shall comply with all necessary steps to secure a passport for the child. In the event either party wants to travek with ******** out of the Country, they shall notify the other parent of their plans, intended dates of travel, specific destinations, flight information, and land line phone numbers. Neither parent will have the right to object to international travel."

Is that standard?

As you may remember, I had concerns about Dad taking him out of the Country based on some things he has said. Would you object to this?

I would definitely object to the international travel at this point.

I also would not agree to dad's proposed schedule AT ALL. Offer whatever amount of time you are comfortable with on dad's days off, and leave it at that.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

I'll have to dig out my wording on my international travel, but I would NOT agree to the way it is stated. Mine gets into having to provide a basic itinerary AND X amount of days to provide notarized written permission by the other parent.

Have you googled infant parenting plans. He is asking for 50/50 to get all the cushy days of parenting (aka only my days off) without the hard part.

I would NOT bend on this one cuz the judge won't be as generous.

I would have it stipulated that dad must provide schedule a minimum of 30 days in advance - obviously, don't squawk if it gets to you like 27-28 days unless he starts pushing it.

I would no allow for a week contiguous parenting time till probably a year (you are still breast feeding, right?) At that point, the arguments tend to end for that.

In your parenting plan, show a gradual shift in time to allow for vacation time.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

International travel must be only to countries who are a member of the Hague Convention (recognize US custody orders.)

 

[InfantCustody]

TPA Hearing update...

Hello,

So, we had our TPA this morning. The judge was as described - no nonsense!

Dad's attorney asked for 50/50, 3.5 days to each parent. My attorney asked for 24 hours each week.

This is what came down:

I retain legal and physical custody pending a perm decision.

Sullivan will reside with me and Dad will have parenting time as follows:

NOW - 6 months:
9 am on 1st day off-4 pm on second day off
9-3 on his third day odd

6+ months:
48 hours from 5 pm on first day off-5 pm on third day off

NO international travel.

ROFR for both parties, if care is needed by a non-relative at all, or a relative for more than 4 hours.

In addition to my residential schedule, I get two week-end days per month on any month in which Dad's schedule has him off on Satrday/Sunday.

Dad does all driving Monday through Friday.

I do all driving on the week-ends, except Dad must do all driving for the 9-3 visit if he wished to utilize that time.

The judge refused his request to change the baby's name, and further told me she LOVES the baby's name and knows who I opted to use that name as the baby's first name, and Dad's family name as the middle name.

Dad's request for attorney fees was denied.

Dad did not address the judge by "Your honor" or even bother to say "Ma'am" to her when addressing her, which I thought was nice. I wonder if she noticed?

The judge said a pearl of wisdom for her court is that if the parents can't agree, and no one is a danger to the child, no one will walk out happy...both parents will walk out "equally unhappy." No one gets everything they want, in other words.

That being said, I am VERY happy with what happened this morning. I got almost all of what I wanted, so my attorney and I think the hearing was a great success.

The attorneys are all trying to agree on something perm. still but at least we have temp orders so Dad shouldn't be doing anything dumb!

Thank you all for your great advice...

 

[CJane]

Are his days off always consecutive? That's the only issue I see. If his "first day off" is Monday and his "second day off" is Friday, then he gets kiddo from 9am Monday to 4pm Friday.

 

[InfantCustody]

Are his days off always consecutive? That's the only issue I see. If his "first day off" is Monday and his "second day off" is Friday, then he gets kiddo from 9am Monday to 4pm Friday.

Good point, but right now his days off are consecutive. Actually, since I have known him they have been consecutive. In the perm order - I will def. make sure that is clarified.

See, that's why I love you guys!

 

[CJane]

Good point, but right now his days off are consecutive. Actually, since I have known him they have been consecutive. In the perm order - I will def. make sure that is clarified.

See, that's why I love you guys!

It's probably as simple as adding language similar to "Provided Dad's off days are consecutive, he shall have the opportunity to exercise parenting time from X to Y on Day 1 and Day 2....

 

[novemberbride]

Hello,

So, we had our TPA this morning. The judge was as described - no nonsense!

Dad's attorney asked for 50/50, 3.5 days to each parent. My attorney asked for 24 hours each week.

This is what came down:

I retain legal and physical custody pending a perm decision.

Sullivan will reside with me and Dad will have parenting time as follows:

NOW - 6 months:
9 am on 1st day off-4 pm on second day off
9-3 on his third day odd

6+ months:
48 hours from 5 pm on first day off-5 pm on third day off

NO international travel.

ROFR for both parties, if care is needed by a non-relative at all, or a relative for more than 4 hours.

In addition to my residential schedule, I get two week-end days per month on any month in which Dad's schedule has him off on Satrday/Sunday.

Dad does all driving Monday through Friday.

I do all driving on the week-ends, except Dad must do all driving for the 9-3 visit if he wished to utilize that time.

The judge refused his request to change the baby's name, and further told me she LOVES the baby's name and knows who I opted to use that name as the baby's first name, and Dad's family name as the middle name.

Dad's request for attorney fees was denied.

Dad did not address the judge by "Your honor" or even bother to say "Ma'am" to her when addressing her, which I thought was nice. I wonder if she noticed?

The judge said a pearl of wisdom for her court is that if the parents can't agree, and no one is a danger to the child, no one will walk out happy...both parents will walk out "equally unhappy." No one gets everything they want, in other words.

That being said, I am VERY happy with what happened this morning. I got almost all of what I wanted, so my attorney and I think the hearing was a great success.

The attorneys are all trying to agree on something perm. still but at least we have temp orders so Dad shouldn't be doing anything dumb!

Thank you all for your great advice...

Great! I'm glad it worked out well.

What part of baby's name was dad trying to change?

 

[InfantCustody]

Great! I'm glad it worked out well.

What part of baby's name was dad trying to change?

The entire name. He wanted the family name as the baby's first name, the current first name as the middle name and his last name!

 

[Ohiogal]

IC,

(Forgive the shortening but...) I am extremely happy for you. Seems like a good schedule for the most part and I want to applaud the growth you have had since joining this forum. You are a great example of a parent who is being reasonable.

Sounds like a good schedule and I like the COURT's statement regarding whether the parties are unhappy. That is true-- extremely true.

 

[Ohiogal]

The entire name. He wanted the family name as the baby's first name, the current first name as the middle name and his last name!

That is ridiculous. Especially if the MIDDLE name was dad's family name. (Do you mean last name or just the traditional first name?) Anyway, dad should not have been petitioning for that.

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

That is ridiculous. Especially if the MIDDLE name was dad's family name. (Do you mean last name or just the traditional first name?) Anyway, dad should not have been petitioning for that.

Some people's kids... yeah, like a judge is going to order that a child's WHOLE name WILL be changed, against one parent's objections.... jeez.