yes mortgage was paid using my income only I used that gift money as down payment
no, I live the house and she does not
and there is mortgage on the house and no equity. Even if I sell the house now. It would be a loss to me as market value of my house is down
Money earned during the marriage is MARITAL. Mortgage payments made with money that was earned DURING the marriage were made with MARITAL income. The was OG's point. During the marriage you weren't paying the mortgage out of premarital savings, or separate assets.
The gift money might be viewed as SEPARATE i.e. non-marital property. Depending. If the down payment was entirely made from that gift, then you are probably alright. You received the money 6 months before marrying. So I will ask again: did you purchase the house BEFORE or AFTER the wedding?
I don't care where she lives right now. I didn't ask that.
You have refi'd the house twice since marrying, and you have been married for, like, 2 1/2 years.
If what you owe on the mortgage is greater than the fair market value of your home, then you are "upside down" on your mortgage. That makes the house the opposite of an asset. In which case, your wife should be happy that her name is not on the mortgage.
It is also very likely that most of your 401K contributions, for example, were not made during this short marriage.
Before you do something stupid, sit down with a credible lawyer and learn about marital debt versus marital assets. It is possible that you married a dingbat, and that the actual marital assets are less than what you could pay your respective lawyers for a low conflict divorce.