Transportation Question

[Kimmyf1965]

What is the name of your state?Tn
I am the CP. According to my parenting plan transportation is to be divided equally. My X picks the child up every other weekend on Friday and I pick him back up on Sundays (or should I say my new husband picks him up). My X was also given Wednesday and Thursday afternoons from 2:00 to 7:00 to spend with the child. He has not picked the child up on Wednesdays in over 2 years and is iffy as to whether or not he picks him on Thursdays. Now my X has decided that it is now my responsibility to pick up my son at 7:00 pm on Thurdays if he takes him. I thought the transporation agreement was for overnight stays? Any advise? Added to problem is that my son is physically handicapped (unable to walk or stand) wheelchair bound. Unfortunately, I can lift him any longer to get him in out of the vehicle. My new husband has been handling the transportation on Sundays and it will be an inconvience to both of us to pick him on Thursdays at 7:00. I work long hours and currently we only have one vehicle. My X is angry because I won a law suit in regard to medical bills and a small increase in child support due to the X not taking the child as outlined in the parenting plan.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?Tn
I am the CP. According to my parenting plan transportation is to be divided equally. My X picks the child up every other weekend on Friday and I pick him back up on Sundays (or should I say my new husband picks him up). My X was also given Wednesday and Thursday afternoons from 2:00 to 7:00 to spend with the child. He has not picked the child up on Wednesdays in over 2 years and is iffy as to whether or not he picks him on Thursdays. Now my X has decided that it is now my responsibility to pick up my son at 7:00 pm on Thurdays if he takes him. I thought the transporation agreement was for overnight stays? Any advise? Added to problem is that my son is physically handicapped (unable to walk or stand) wheelchair bound. Unfortunately, I can lift him any longer to get him in out of the vehicle. My new husband has been handling the transportation on Sundays and it will be an inconvience to both of us to pick him on Thursdays at 7:00. I work long hours and currently we only have one vehicle. My X is angry because I won a law suit in regard to medical bills and a small increase in child support due to the X not taking the child as outlined in the parenting plan.

That is a bit of a problem....If your orders say that you are to share transportation (which is completely normal) then that also includes the weekday visits. It doesn't just include overnights. If he insists that you pick up on Thursdays then you will have to figure out a way to do it. He is being a jerk if he knows that there are problems, but he is legally in the right.

 

[Kimmyf1965]

Will someone explain to me how he is allowed to violate the parenting plan in several areas and get away with it? The parenting plan states that he is to take the child on Wednesday and Thursdays from 2:00 to 7:00 and he occasionally takes him on Thursdays. Never on Wednesdays! I have bent over backwards trying to bend the rules when my X had to work different hours. He calls if it is suppose to rain and says he can't come get him. You name it he called and made one excuse after the other for not coming to pick him up. I've said nothing but ok when he wants to bend the rules. It seems like he uses the child to get back at me and tries to make things difficult on me. What will happen if say I'm not going to pick him on Thursday night? How much trouble will I be in? I know for a fact that he'll bring him home because he doesn't want custody. His whole point is try to make things harder on me and he is putting the child in the middle!

 

[LdiJ]

Will someone explain to me how he is allowed to violate the parenting plan in several areas and get away with it? The parenting plan states that he is to take the child on Wednesday and Thursdays from 2:00 to 7:00 and he occasionally takes him on Thursdays. Never on Wednesdays! I have bent over backwards trying to bend the rules when my X had to work different hours. He calls if it is suppose to rain and says he can't come get him. You name it he called and made one excuse after the other for not coming to pick him up. I've said nothing but ok when he wants to bend the rules. It seems like he uses the child to get back at me and tries to make things difficult on me. What will happen if say I'm not going to pick him on Thursday night? How much trouble will I be in? I know for a fact that he'll bring him home because he doesn't want custody. His whole point is try to make things harder on me and he is putting the child in the middle!

Well...you probably wouldn't get more than a slap on the wrist...but then the judge would re-order you to pick the child up and then if you refused a second time the consequences would be more serious. Although, the fact that you physically cannot get the child in and out of the car might sway the judge in your favor.

 

[Kimmyf1965]

The parenting order requires the matter to be taken through mediation first before it ever goes to court. In mediation we have to try to come to an agreement. Therefore, I'm going to take my chances and say I'm not doing it and I'll see where I end up in the end. If all they can do is slap my hand or wrist it won't hurt to try. Thanks for the advise and help.

 

[Whyte Noise]

That's not all the court CAN do, it's just what they MIGHT do.

 

[stealth2]

Can your husband handle both parts of the w/e transportation in exchange for your ex taking both parts of the Thursday visitation?

As for his not taking Wednesdays... Visitation is a right, not an obligation, on the part of the NCP. However, it is the CP's obligation to make the child available on the days that the NCP is given visitation.

 

[Kimmyf1965]

It seems to me that the laws are against the CP. My child is totally handicapped. I don't understand how the systems can make everything my responsibility. I'm the one that has to take time off from my job to visit doctors. I don't get reimbursed for 1/2 of my transportation cost of taking him back and forth. My son's father never shows up for any of his appointments. I'm the one that has to pay all of the co-pays out of my pocket and then I have 10 days to get the bill to him but he has 30 days to pay. I'm the one that has to wait on him to show up for his visititation. How long do I have to wait? If my parenting plan says he is to pick him up at 2:00 and he doesn't show up till 3:00 what are my obligations? Is there a way to petition the court for modifications to the transportation agreement? I feel like the father needs to take ownership in the fact that his child is sick and that his child has special needs that a father should try to handle instead of trying to make things more difficult on the child and the mother. Honestly, I don't want to lose custody because I know his dad doesn't want him because it would hamper his life style, but I'm to point that I feel like telling him that I don't want custody anymore. Then I could set back and push all the buttons against him. My new husband could get a job instead of taking care of this other mans obligations and I could actually quit one of my jobs. Then I'll set back and pay the $137 amount in child support. We both brought this child into the world. I didn't do it alone. We both wanted him. Now that he terminally sick his father wants to push all of the this off on me.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Kimmy,
Please get an attorney familar with disabilities issues, there are a number of things you can ask for and or modify your PP due to the disability that do not fall under the usual range of child custody or changed as tour child grew. Without that you are going to become more frustrated and your son will lose out because the court is ignoring your childs rights in favor of your ex. The law allows for extraordinary relief in such instances, where as the Wednesday might be seen as his right to visitation, in your sons case it is his obligation to share in the care of your son, some of these things were discussed in your other thread. You need more child support and you need the copays paid in a timely manner. You need a respite so he needs to either provide it himself or pay for it. You can't be expected to break your back lifting your child, he needs to be reasonable.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Your son should be getting SSDI and Medicare that should be helping some, your child is entitled to education under ADA and the state and your county school district must provide it if they don't have a school then they provide a tutor. Have you checked with any of the organizations for your sons disability re services?

Individuals with Disabilities Education Act

The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) (formerly called P.L. 94-142 or the Education for all Handicapped Children Act of 1975) requires public schools to make available to all eligible children with disabilities a free appropriate public education in the least restrictive environment appropriate to their individual needs.

IDEA requires public school systems to develop appropriate Individualized Education Programs (IEP's) for each child. The specific special education and related services outlined in each IEP reflect the individualized needs of each student.

IDEA also mandates that particular procedures be followed in the development of the IEP. Each student's IEP must be developed by a team of knowledgeable persons and must be at least reviewed annually. The team includes the child's teacher; the parents, subject to certain limited exceptions; the child, if determined appropriate; an agency representative who is qualified to provide or supervise the provision of special education; and other individuals at the parents' or agency's discretion.

If parents disagree with the proposed IEP, they can request a due process hearing and a review from the State educational agency if applicable in that state. They also can appeal the State agency's decision to State or Federal court. For more information, contact:

Office of Special Education Programs
Office of Special Education and Rehabilitative Services
U.S. Department of Education
330 C Street, S.W. (Room 3086)
Washington, D.C. 20202

www.ed.gov/offices/OSERS/OSEP

(202) 205-5507 (voice/TTY)

 

[Kimmyf1965]

Thanks for your responses. I know I'm in a tough situation. I'm going to check into finding an attorney regarding my sons right and my rights as the CP. As for the SSDi and Medicare we don't qualify because I make to much money. The school system is doing everything that they are required to do. My son is extremely intelligent he made straight A's last year and heading down the same track this year. His problems are all physical. Unfortunately, I live in a small county and there are no programs for disabled children over the age of 14. My son can't open doors and can't feed himself. Everyday I watch him lose abilities and for his father to treat us this way it makes me sick!!! I'm trying to find a lawyer in Tennessee that specializes in this type of problem but I'm not having much luck. My last attorney drug his feet and it took me 18 months to get my medical bill claim into court. My X owes me over $3000.00 in unpaid medical bills that I paid out of my pocket. One of these bills is $4600.00 that I paid out of my pocket. He owes me $2300.00 towards it and filed a motion to slow pay. It's going to take him 4 years to pay me back. When I first sent him the bill I was nice and offered for him to make payment arrangement then. He refused to pay any of it and then 18 months later this is what I got for being nice. In addition it cost me 800.00 in attorney fees. I sued for this also and lost. What makes me mad is that this took money away from my son. The Judge was a close friend of my X husbands and I think this swayed the decision. Of course I didn't find out about their friendship until afterwards. If I take him back to court in the future it will be the same Judge. Can I ask for a change in venue?

Thanks again for listening and the advise!!!!

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Thanks for your responses. I know I'm in a tough situation. I'm going to check into finding an attorney regarding my sons right and my rights as the CP. As for the SSDi and Medicare we don't qualify because I make to much money. The school system is doing everything that they are required to do. My son is extremely intelligent he made straight A's last year and heading down the same track this year. His problems are all physical. Unfortunately, I live in a small county and there are no programs for disabled children over the age of 14. My son can't open doors and can't feed himself. Everyday I watch him lose abilities and for his father to treat us this way it makes me sick!!! I'm trying to find a lawyer in Tennessee that specializes in this type of problem but I'm not having much luck. My last attorney drug his feet and it took me 18 months to get my medical bill claim into court. My X owes me over $3000.00 in unpaid medical bills that I paid out of my pocket. One of these bills is $4600.00 that I paid out of my pocket. He owes me $2300.00 towards it and filed a motion to slow pay. It's going to take him 4 years to pay me back. When I first sent him the bill I was nice and offered for him to make payment arrangement then. He refused to pay any of it and then 18 months later this is what I got for being nice. In addition it cost me 800.00 in attorney fees. I sued for this also and lost. What makes me mad is that this took money away from my son. The Judge was a close friend of my X husbands and I think this swayed the decision. Of course I didn't find out about their friendship until afterwards. If I take him back to court in the future it will be the same Judge. Can I ask for a change in venue?

Thanks again for listening and the advise!!!!

If your county has no programs for disabled children over the age of 14 they are still required to provide for his education until age 21, An Overview of ADA, IDEA, and Section 504: Update 2001 ERIC Clearinghouse on Disabilities and Gifted Education. An Overview of ADA, IDEA, and Section 504: Update 2001. THIS DIGEST SUPERSEDES ERIC EC DIGEST #E537. ...
ericec.org/digests/e606.html
that may be something you have to fight for so please contact one of the organizations I mentioned before or DREDF theye recently won the case in TN re access to the courthouse.