Unmarried Father's rights-drunk mom

[130munch]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

This unmarried couple are both 25. Dad is responsible, mom is bipolar angry drunk who acts more like an 18 yr old on spring break whenever she can. She could careless about the baby when she wants to go out drinking, which lately is quite often. Dad stays home while she goes out, only to have her come back at 3am smashed & ready to fight.

There is no custody agreement, but dad has signed birth certificate. If he calls police during one of this mom's drunker outbursts, will police let him leave for the night with baby? If he cannot leave with baby because there is no custody agreement, where does that leave him and the baby? Are they both supposed to just deal with the drunken mom? It's her apt they live in - he's not on the lease. She gets subsidised housing. If he wants to leave so he does not have to deal with drunken mom, would police really leave baby there with drunken mom?

Suggestions? Advice? Thanks so much.

 

[Proserpina]

How is the baby being endangered?

Who are you in the situation?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

This unmarried couple are both 25. Dad is responsible, mom is bipolar angry drunk who acts more like an 18 yr old on spring break whenever she can. She could careless about the baby when she wants to go out drinking, which lately is quite often. Dad stays home while she goes out, only to have her come back at 3am smashed & ready to fight.

There is no custody agreement, but dad has signed birth certificate. If he calls police during one of this mom's drunker outbursts, will police let him leave for the night with baby? If he cannot leave with baby because there is no custody agreement, where does that leave him and the baby? Are they both supposed to just deal with the drunken mom? It's her apt they live in - he's not on the lease. She gets subsidised housing. If he wants to leave so he does not have to deal with drunken mom, would police really leave baby there with drunken mom?

Suggestions? Advice? Thanks so much.

Who are you in this situation?

Do you realize that dad is breaking the law by living in mom's subsidized apartment? Because they are not married mom is the only parent with custody at this time, and its unlikely that the police would allow dad to leave with the baby.

It would be in everyone's best interest for custody to be legally established regarding the child.

 

[cyjeff]

Be prepared to tell a court why mom's drunken activities NOW are different than when Dad impregnated her.

In other words, he picked her as the mom of her child.

 

[justalayman]

Do you realize that dad is breaking the law by living in mom's subsidized apartment? .
.

I don't think so. It's mom that is breaking the law. Unless dad signed something, whomever subsidizes the apartment has no control over dad, just mom.

 

[sometwo]

It's not illegal to drink. (when of age)

It's not illegal to be drunk in certain places. (when of age)

Dad picked her as mom.

You haven't stated who you are in this situation.

If dad wants to establish his rights he needs to file in court . Until then he doesn't have any.

 

[dannyt]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

This unmarried couple are both 25. Dad is responsible, mom is bipolar angry drunk who acts more like an 18 yr old on spring break whenever she can. She could careless about the baby when she wants to go out drinking, which lately is quite often. Dad stays home while she goes out, only to have her come back at 3am smashed & ready to fight.

There is no custody agreement, but dad has signed birth certificate. If he calls police during one of this mom's drunker outbursts, will police let him leave for the night with baby? If he cannot leave with baby because there is no custody agreement, where does that leave him and the baby? Are they both supposed to just deal with the drunken mom? It's her apt they live in - he's not on the lease. She gets subsidised housing. If he wants to leave so he does not have to deal with drunken mom, would police really leave baby there with drunken mom?

Suggestions? Advice? Thanks so much.

unless you are mom or dad, the best advice is for you to stay out of it, it doesnt legally concern you. let mom and dad handle their own business concerning THEIR CHILD, your involvement will cause them problems. they dont need a 3rd party who has nothing to do with this or any other matter concering their child sticking their nose where it doesnt belong.

 

[Ohiogal]

Now this thread, I see even more "alarming" behavior from dad. He knew then that mom was a drunk and yet he went to court for visitation rights. He didn't prove to the court that Mom was unfitor that it was in the best interest to reside with dad when he went to court -- which was after this point. He was also living in a subsidized apartment with mom -- was he living there legally?

So that brings up the question of why not? Does dad have a criminal history? Was dad content with mom's behavior? Did dad agree? Does dad/did dad have issues with drugs or alcohol himself?

 

[MichaCA]

I don't think they have been to court yet.

What would be the best way, should dad file for visitation/custody, to deal with these issues? Of course, I realize we are talking to a third party here.

Is dad approved by HUD to live in this houseing? (boyfriends can be approved)

Is there a reason dad can't sign up and ask these questions?

 

[Antigone*]

pssst. This thread is from 2010.

 

[MichaCA]

pssst. This thread is from 2010.

That sure is happening a lot lately.

 

[Ohiogal]

I don't think they have been to court yet.

What would be the best way, should dad file for visitation/custody, to deal with these issues? Of course, I realize we are talking to a third party here.

Is dad approved by HUD to live in this houseing? (boyfriends can be approved)

Is there a reason dad can't sign up and ask these questions?

This is the same grandma from the other drunk mom thread. I brought it back up due to the fact that I wanted others to read what has NOT changed in two years -- dad currently DOES have court ordered visitation in the current "drunk mom" thread. Which means dad failed to prove that he was better suited to parent than mom and grandma is still griping that drunk mom is horrible.

 

[Ohiogal]

pssst. This thread is from 2010.

I know but two years later and grandma is still griping that mom is a drunk and her son has court ordered visitation now (which means he either didn't want custody or couldn't prove custody).

 

[Antigone*]

I know but two years later and grandma is still griping that mom is a drunk and her son has court ordered visitation now (which means he either didn't want custody or couldn't prove custody).

I didn't see the other thread and I thought it was spammers at work again. So many times I've fallen in the trap of reading the outdated posts and responding after one of us has reported the spam. That's what I thought happened here.

 

[Banned_Princess]

The lady sure does use the word "drunk" alot.