Ldij I like your answers now I am wondering what is the in the best interest of the kids. I don't want to allow them to go but honestly I don't want my girls around him at all and really I'd like to pretend that I was the only one involved in their inception (sort of like a Jewish Virgin Mary) but once again he is their Dad and they love him and she is their Grandma and they love Her. I hate being the adult!
No one here can tell you what is in the best interests of your children. We don't know you, we don't know dad, we don't know grandma, and we don't know your children.
All we can do is tell you what the law says, how local judges handle things, possibly point out some errors in your logic or give you some alternative ideas.
I have heard more than one Indiana judge state that in his/her opinion prison or rehab was no place for children. In my opinon, in a situation where dad is only going to be gone for 90 days, that there is no reason for the children to visit him there.
However, I also think that it would be wise to take it to court and ask the judge to suspend his visitation, pending the results of rehab. That way it will be a judge deciding what kind of visitation, and how often, will be put into place after dad gets out of rehab.
With 14 DUIs, unless dad truly wants to be sober, the odds of 90 days being enough are not strong. Most judges would want dad's visitation to be strictly monitored (preferibly by a member of his family if they can be trusted) until dad proves that he is going to stay sober.