Welcome home, ex-wife.

[AntonioD]

Nevada; my wife left and moved in with her boss over a month ago. Does she have the right to keep waltzing in the house as if she just went to the store? It's her father's home and he gave it to us to live in with our 2 boys, 11 and 13. The lease was written in December of 2002 but he hasn't charged us rent since. The home is paid for, and she's actually told our sons that she's finding a new home with her new lover. The divorce hasn't event been filed yet, she said she was going to but I suspect her lawyer said wait until you can pass a drug test. Should I file first? Also, can the court award her custody if her father evicts the boys and I and we have trouble finding a place in time? Thanks!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[mistoffolees]

It's the marital home. She can come and go as she wishes. You can file for divorce and ask for temporary use of the marital home, but that may be difficult since her father owns it. He could simply evict you. He can't throw you out on the street, but could probably get an eviction order in under 45 days.

One way or another, you're going to need to find somewhere else to live at some point, so you might as well start.

Custody will be determined on the basis of best interests of the children, with a heavy emphasis on who has been their primary caregiver. Is that you? If you have a drug problem, though, that may work against you.

And, btw, she's not your ex-wife. She's your wife until you get divorced.

You have an attorney, go with what the attorney tells you.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Nevada; my wife left and moved in with her boss over a month ago. Does she have the right to keep waltzing in the house as if she just went to the store? It's her father's home and he gave it to us to live in with our 2 boys, 11 and 13. The lease was written in December of 2002 but he hasn't charged us rent since. The home is paid for, and she's actually told our sons that she's finding a new home with her new lover. The divorce hasn't event been filed yet, she said she was going to but I suspect her lawyer said wait until you can pass a drug test. Should I file first? Also, can the court award her custody if her father evicts the boys and I and we have trouble finding a place in time? Thanks!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Until the judge says you have exclusive use of the marital home, then yes, she can just waltz in. Why haven't you filed for divorce? Who has the children what portion of time.

 

[mistoffolees]

Until the judge says you have exclusive use of the marital home, then yes, she can just waltz in. Why haven't you filed for divorce? Who has the children what portion of time.

OP suspects that she (STBX) hasn't filed for divorce because she has a drug problem and his attorney thinks he'd fail a drug test if the court orders it. Apparently, the drugs are more important to her than her kids. No reason why OP couldn't have filed, though.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Per the first post, it made it sound like SHE would fail the drug test so the attorney told her to wait to file. I'm still wondering why the OP hasn't filed.

 

[tuffbrk]

To clarify - she did not take the boys with her. They are currently continuing to reside with you?

 

[AntonioD]

Yes, I have the kids and been the one taking care of them since diapers. She's been abusive, neglectful, a drunk and a drugee. I have a professional license but have to take a course to relicense due to the 10+ year absence from the field. Otherwise we would have been out of here. Father in law/landlord will be here this weekend, I'll repost what I negotiate (or don't) with him. Damn it, she just came in the other night and shoved me aside in front of the kids again. I made a report but jeez-what good does 4 black belts do when you can't hit someone that really deserves it?!

 

[mistoffolees]

Yes, I have the kids and been the one taking care of them since diapers. She's been abusive, neglectful, a drunk and a drugee. I have a professional license but have to take a course to relicense due to the 10+ year absence from the field. Otherwise we would have been out of here. Father in law/landlord will be here this weekend, I'll repost what I negotiate (or don't) with him. Damn it, she just came in the other night and shoved me aside in front of the kids again. I made a report but jeez-what good does 4 black belts do when you can't hit someone that really deserves it?!

Those 4 black belts could hurt you. Do not do ANYTHING if she hits you other than the bare minimum to protect yourself. Call the police.

As for her father, he can't simply throw you out. He needs to go through the legal eviction process. If he's at all reasonable, you should be able to work out a deal to voluntarily leave in, say, 30 days. It will take him longer than that (and cost him more) to go through an eviction).

Since you've been the primary caretaker for the kids, you will be in a good position when it comes to custody. You really should file for divorce right away and request temporary custody of the kids and possession of the marital home (that won't keep her father from eventually evicting you, but it will keep her from coming into your house without permission).

 

[AntonioD]

Thank you for 'welcome home, ex wife'

I thought I owed it to you all to let you know how this turned out. The divorce is final; she left me with everything, literally right down to her underwear, including all of the bills. I can’t afford to go back to court & don’t know if I could anyway. Her father wrote me a new lease for just the 3 of us, and we stayed in the family home for about 4 months after the divorce. Now the boys and I are in an apartment, and they do not wish to see her. She has made idol threats of police involvement to get her visitation but the boys clearly stated their concerns in the interviews and after that they did not want to be with her. They spent a couple of weekends there at first, where she passed out about 9pm with her boyfriend, leaving them in the room with their dog. Refused to allow them internet access, unplugged the phone when they attempted to call me. They refuse to go back. It’s been about a year now the boys have been with me. I have had all of the cost of food, clothing, everything else. They are healthy and safe, and about to start school again. If I had money for a lawyer, I think I may have gotten child support, otherwise, not much different outcome I guess. Thank you all for your input and support, you helped me through a very tough time.

 

[stealth2]

I thought I owed it to you all to let you know how this turned out. The divorce is final; she left me with everything, literally right down to her underwear, including all of the bills. I can’t afford to go back to court & don’t know if I could anyway. Her father wrote me a new lease for just the 3 of us, and we stayed in the family home for about 4 months after the divorce. Now the boys and I are in an apartment, and they do not wish to see her. She has made idol threats of police involvement to get her visitation but the boys clearly stated their concerns in the interviews and after that they did not want to be with her. They spent a couple of weekends there at first, where she passed out about 9pm with her boyfriend, leaving them in the room with their dog. Refused to allow them internet access, unplugged the phone when they attempted to call me. They refuse to go back. It’s been about a year now the boys have been with me. I have had all of the cost of food, clothing, everything else. They are healthy and safe, and about to start school again. If I had money for a lawyer, I think I may have gotten child support, otherwise, not much different outcome I guess. Thank you all for your input and support, you helped me through a very tough time.

Is there an order for visitation? If so? The kids don't get to choose whether they see Mom or not. You (and by extension - they) must follow that order. Or you risk losing custody. Really.

 

[Ohiogal]

Go to CSEA and ask them to determine child support.

 

[nanu156]

Getting CS is EASY... The EASIEST part of the process really

Just go down and file for it, it's a math problem really. They do the math come up with the numbers and then bill her essentially. Now if she elects not to pay, that's not as easy, but certainly easier than winning a custody case.

If the visitation is ORDERED by the court you have to force the kids to go... Not their choice, not your choice. You risk a host of problems if you don't, including but not limited to; Fines, Jail, Custody changes, her atty fees etc. Make the kids go. Start making them go EVERY time. If she says she doesn't want them, then get that in writing prior to missing the visit.

If it's that bad there, then file for a modification of custody, but having not made them go in a year could backfire on you when you file for the mod. She can say you are not facilitating the relationship you were charged with facilitating. She would be correct. Id suggest staying out of court for a long long time if you don't want to get whacked.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Make sure you document every time she does, or does NOT, show up for parenting time. Confirm afterwards of missed visits. In the end, CS can go UP because the NCP makes no effort to see the children.

 

[proud_parent]

In the end, CS can go UP because the NCP makes no effort to see the children.

This statement isn't strictly true for Nevada. Nevada does use a different method to calculate child support in a joint physical custody arrangement vs. a primary physical custody arrangement, but the joint physical custody formula doesn't kick in unless each parent has the children at least 40% of the time.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

This statement isn't strictly true for Nevada. Nevada does use a different method to calculate child support in a joint physical custody arrangement vs. a primary physical custody arrangement, but the joint physical custody formula doesn't kick in unless each parent has the children at least 40% of the time.

Key word = CAN

I did NOT say it would go up, but that, it COULD go up. In any case, filing anything in this case, would get some child support since none is ordered.