What are chances of 50/50 custody arrangement

[notsurewhatto]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? WV

I have a four year old daughter and three year old son. Their father and I were never married and never lived together. We have no formal custody agreement. Neither child has ever spent the night at their father's house (his choice). I have the kids the majority of the time they are not in daycare. I would like their father to be more involved in their lives and have countless text messages where I've asked if he wants to see them and he says he's busy. He seems them maybe once a month if that. Sometimes the once a month visit is him stopping at my house to see them for 15 minutes on his way home from work. He's been laid off from his job for the last few months and is upset that I won't give him back his child support (which is withheld from his checks) I work full time so the kids are in daycare (and I have asked if he would watch them so I don't have to pay daycare when he's off work and he refuses) and I can't afford to give him back child support. So his answer is to file for 50/50 custody. Now in four years I have only spent two nights away from our kids. They are with me constantly when I'm not working. Now I think scheduled, regular visitation would be great for our children. I have tried to get him to see them once a week or every other weekend and he never has time. He will "watch" them for a few hours then call me to pick them up. He is court ordered to pay 60% of medical bills and to provide them with secondary insurance and he's never paid a single bill even though I've sent them and he refuses to give me his insurance information. I've never denied him from seeing our kids except on two occasions (once he gave me maybe an hour's notice and I already had plans with them and was on my way somewhere and another time he wanted to take our daughter to an amusement park six hours away and I said no. what are his chances of getting 50/50 custody?

 

[Zigner]

I'd say his chance of 50/50 aren't 50/50

I am curious, though. I understand that you feel he is motivated by a reduction in child support...but it kind of sounds like you are motivated by preventing a reduction in child support.

In your opinion, would it be a bad thing or a good thing to have 50/50 custody? Why?

 

[notsurewhatto]

I'm 100% sure his motivation is a reduction in child support because he doesn't even see our kids but once a month now and only after he's asked that I give him back the child support garnished for the last two months (they are taking the full amount even though he's collecting unemployment because he will back to work soon and he has to file for a reduction before they change the amount) and when I said I won't give it back to him (because I have a $950 month daycare bill to pay) he said he is going to file for 50/50 custody. I'm not sure why you think my motivation is to prevent a reduction in child support. Their father doesn't even pay child support for our son (paternity was established) because I (foolishly) thought that if I was the "nice guy" and didn't push the issue he would see our kids more because child support is such a point of contention for him. I see 50/50 custody as not the best thing for our kids because I'm the only parent they really know. I've only spent two nights away from our kids their whole lives (the oldest is 4) and they have never spent a night with their father. I think they would greatly benefit with a regular visitation schedule where he has the opportunity to see them every other weekend and one or two nights a week. Because his motivation is a reduction in what he pays out and not because he genuinely wants to see his kids more (I offer all the time, I've even begged him to see them more and in four years he's never cared to see them more than about once a month if that so I don't feel its in the kids best interest to take them out of the only home they've known for the last 3-4 years and divide their time equally between two households. A judge may disagree, I realize this. I just want what is best for them. Its not about me and its definitely not about money.

 

[Zigner]

I'm 100% sure his motivation is a reduction in child support because he doesn't even see our kids but once a month now and only after he's asked that I give him back the child support garnished for the last two months (they are taking the full amount even though he's collecting unemployment because he will back to work soon and he has to file for a reduction before they change the amount) and when I said I won't give it back to him (because I have a $950 month daycare bill to pay) he said he is going to file for 50/50 custody. I'm not sure why you think my motivation is to prevent a reduction in child support. Their father doesn't even pay child support for our son (paternity was established) because I (foolishly) thought that if I was the "nice guy" and didn't push the issue he would see our kids more because child support is such a point of contention for him. I see 50/50 custody as not the best thing for our kids because I'm the only parent they really know. I've only spent two nights away from our kids their whole lives (the oldest is 4) and they have never spent a night with their father. I think they would greatly benefit with a regular visitation schedule where he has the opportunity to see them every other weekend and one or two nights a week. Because his motivation is a reduction in what he pays out and not because he genuinely wants to see his kids more (I offer all the time, I've even begged him to see them more and in four years he's never cared to see them more than about once a month if that so I don't feel its in the kids best interest to take them out of the only home they've known for the last 3-4 years and divide their time equally between two households. A judge may disagree, I realize this. I just want what is best for them. Its not about me and its definitely not about money.

I like your answer

I think you have a pretty good shot at preventing 50/50 custody based on the history. He will likely get visitation close to what you are offering (which seems very reasonable.) You need to make sure that you properly respond to his court filings - you may wish to have an attorney assist you. Best of luck!

 

[notsurewhatto]

Thank you very much for your advice and for responding. Was just curious what I need to expect.