What are the courts thinking

[gayle246]

What is the name of your state? Massachusetts

My daughter had my husband go to court for modification of our custoday agreement. Our agreement is shared everything, he doesn't pay child support and has had his other daughter all of twice since October. Now he is looking for sole custody, so that he can hand over gaurdianship of my daughter, to believe me anyone who will take her. The courts have her living in another home in my town with a family we barely know. I have now fired my attorney, costing me an arm and a leg because she doesn't return my calls,and makes decisions without me, basically. My ex is in contempt of court on a weekly basis. My daughter and I are going to counseling, but the counselor couldn't give a recommendation in such a short period of time, so this has been continued again. By the time I get into court it will be three months that she has been living with this family. Please someone give me some advise. I am at a loss, my duaghter is now failing out of school and no one is doing anything, but me worrying, while the courts wait for an answer

 

[stealth2]

I'm totally confused - what is your daughter doing taking your husband to court?

 

[gayle246]

My daughter had my husband go to court to get a modification to our divorce so she can live in my town but not with me. If he has full custoday, he wants to hand over gaurdianship to someone else. It isn't that he wants to take care of her.

 

[stealth2]

How old is she? Honestly - the situation as you described it makes no sense. Could you clarify it. 'Cause normally children are not parties to custody orders, nor can they file them on their own.

 

[stealth2]

And I suppose someone should ask - why do neither of you currently have custody?

 

[gayle246]

Okay, we have shared custody, she doesn't want to live with me anymore but she wants to live in my town. Her father went into court and filed an emergency modification over our custoday agreement. Until this is settled she is living in my town with a family that neither of us know very well who was appointed by the courts to take her until a family counsler can give the courts insight to what should happen.

 

[AnswerMeNOW]

Again...age of your daughter?

 

[gayle246]

My Daughter is 14 to be 15 in May.

 

[stealth2]

I feel like I'm pulling teeth. Why does she not want to live with either of you? Why did a court agree to remove her from your home? Who thought a 14yo gets to make the rules?

 

[gayle246]

She doesn't want to live with me, because I have rules, basically school work (which she is very intelligent, though is too lazy to do homework) and I insist on knowing where she is at all times, should she change locations. Her father doesn't want her, but he doesn't want me to have her. So he is happy to make her happy and put her in another home in my town. He also has a court order for him to take her out of the home every Friday to Monday morning, which he doesn't even do. The courts say a fourteen year old can make up her mind.

 

[djohnson]

Something isn't right here. No court is going to let a 14 year old say they don't want to live with either parent and them rule on her side. You are the mother. You have to have rules and you have to make sure she follows them. You should not have let her leave with out a court order. If the court order was for her father and she wasn't living with him, then you should have went back to court. It seems to me either there is much more to this or you are letting a 14 yr old boss you around and still not telling us parts.

 

[gayle246]

Thanks for that little tid bit! I agree there is more, but I don't know what it is. I can't even believe this is going on, do you think I haven't been going out of my mind? My daughter ran away, and I asked her father to take her for a few days while I straightened things out. Took out a chins, got transfer papers to put her in private school, where my other daughter goes. Spoke to the police in town and an attorney. Right now I have fired my attorney, because she isn't doing anything and by the time I get back into court she will have been out of the house for 3 months. All of this has been court ordered, how do you think I feel about a 14 year old making the decisions?