What can I do if father who has custody ends up not being biological father of child

[lunamom]

thanks everyone for the advice.
i would never use this just for my benefit, this is honestly for my sons benefit, because he deserves a better child development, and his father had never put him in any extra curricular activities even when my son has asked to be put in things like drums, guitar, basketball, but my ex doesnt care about all that, and honestly, im not concerned with child support, i dont need his money, i jst want my son to have a better future and a relationship with his mom, i mean, i NEVER LEFT NOR ABANDONED MY CHILD. i came to california to get situated and my ex went and plotted this against being that we didnt have the agreement in writing, and so he is hurting our child, because he lied to the both of us, leading me and my son to believe that he would not keep my son from coming to co Cali with me, even though in the court order it stated that I could not move out of state with my son, but because we had a great friendship, i thought i could trust him and he went and got married and filed for custody, all behind my back, knowing that he coudl use this against me, when all this time it was TEMPORARY, and even when my son was in texas, he was majority with my mother, because my ex works nights, and even with the drug test in court, the judge still favored for him, so i really dont know where to go from here, but i definelty DONT want to loose my son, but my ex doesnt let me talk to him, so what, should i jsut give up and allow my son to become distant with me, or should i use the patertnity and not let my son completly know everything untill he gets older, and maybe put him in some counseling in the meantime, because he is already going through depression and is becoming a bully at his new school at the age of NINE. im so involved in his life, but its hard sometimes, cus his father trys his best to avoid me and keep me out of the loop of things and is trying to have his new wife fill my shoes, that not right, hes wrong in that area, and my son deserves a good future, and it hurts me when i know that i cant put him in things like piano, drums, basketball, church, etc, because his father wont let me, because again, he takes advantage and is abusing his new primary parent rights. what about my ex hurting my son by keeping him from me as much as posssible when ive done nothing wrong to my son, and yes i slept with another man, but we were not married and we used protection, now the bio father came to me admitting that the condom broke which i did NOT know, but never though he fathered this child, but after hearing whats going on and recently seeing my son, he thought that maybe it could be his, so came to me about it.
i dont want to hurt me son ever, but it seems if i dont do anything now, then he wont become a good man, and will only end up getting in trouble because his father lets him do wahtever he wants, and the father should be involved in his life, just because he takes care of him does not mean that he is a good father. now all i want to know plain and simple is if texas law states that if he is not bio father and i have done nothing to hurt my son, like neglect, abandon, drugs, then why would he let him stay with the father, being he is not real father. i jst want my son back...
anyone who knows texas law, please help....
thanks much

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Texas takes paternity fraud seriously and acts accordingly, so even if you were to prove your ex unfit, most likely you would not get custody, the biodad would not get custody and if the child cannot be controlled by his legal father will be put in foster care, not turned over to you. Consider these things before you rock the boat.

 

[lunamom]

but its not paterntiy fraud, at least i dont think it is, how could it be?
noone tricked anyone.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

TEXAS....
my ex-husband and i have joint custody of our child, with our child having primary residence with his father. I just recently found out that my ex husband is not the childs biological father, although he has his last name and is on birth certificate, as well as has raised him with me.
do i have a chance to fight this in court to prove that he is not the father and will the judge give me back the primary custody rights to my son?
...and i just came to find out that my ex is not the biological father so i wander if this would even be worth bringing up in court at this time, since our son is now nine years old, and i wouldnt want this to effect my son in a negative way.


THANKS YOU

It may be seen as you withholding the truth re paternity for 9+ years=paternity fraud.

 

[lunamom]

hmmm, i see your point, but i never withheld info because i never thought the the my ex was NOT the father of our child. neither did the real father, we used a condom, and he never thought it could be his child, i didnt find out i was preganant till after 3 months the real father and i were intimate, and being that we used protection i never even questioned it, until recently when the real father saw my child and had startin questioning it.

 

[SMURFEELAW]

but its not paterntiy fraud, at least i dont think it is, how could it be?
noone tricked anyone.

So you have NO recollection of having sex with a man other than the one now raising the child during the time you got pregnant? Protected or not. Broke condom or not (not to mention I have a hard time believing that you didn't know it broke).

You were sexually active with at least two men during the time of conception and that should have been brought up at the birth of the child in order to have paternity established. By not bringing that "little detail" up you knowingly led a man to believe he was the father of the child and you had knowledge that may not be true. This equals fraud.

 

[casa]

thanks everyone for the advice.
i would never use this just for my benefit, this is honestly for my sons benefit, because he deserves a better child development, and his father had never put him in any extra curricular activities even when my son has asked to be put in things like drums, guitar, basketball, but my ex doesnt care about all that, and honestly, im not concerned with child support, i dont need his money, i jst want my son to have a better future and a relationship with his mom, i mean, i NEVER LEFT NOR ABANDONED MY CHILD. i came to california to get situated and my ex went and plotted this against being that we didnt have the agreement in writing, and so he is hurting our child, because he lied to the both of us, leading me and my son to believe that he would not keep my son from coming to co Cali with me, even though in the court order it stated that I could not move out of state with my son, but because we had a great friendship, i thought i could trust him and he went and got married and filed for custody, all behind my back, knowing that he coudl use this against me, when all this time it was TEMPORARY, and even when my son was in texas, he was majority with my mother, because my ex works nights, and even with the drug test in court, the judge still favored for him, so i really dont know where to go from here, but i definelty DONT want to loose my son, but my ex doesnt let me talk to him, so what, should i jsut give up and allow my son to become distant with me, or should i use the patertnity and not let my son completly know everything untill he gets older, and maybe put him in some counseling in the meantime, because he is already going through depression and is becoming a bully at his new school at the age of NINE. im so involved in his life, but its hard sometimes, cus his father trys his best to avoid me and keep me out of the loop of things and is trying to have his new wife fill my shoes, that not right, hes wrong in that area, and my son deserves a good future, and it hurts me when i know that i cant put him in things like piano, drums, basketball, church, etc, because his father wont let me, because again, he takes advantage and is abusing his new primary parent rights. what about my ex hurting my son by keeping him from me as much as posssible when ive done nothing wrong to my son, and yes i slept with another man, but we were not married and we used protection, now the bio father came to me admitting that the condom broke which i did NOT know, but never though he fathered this child, but after hearing whats going on and recently seeing my son, he thought that maybe it could be his, so came to me about it.
i dont want to hurt me son ever, but it seems if i dont do anything now, then he wont become a good man, and will only end up getting in trouble because his father lets him do wahtever he wants, and the father should be involved in his life, just because he takes care of him does not mean that he is a good father. now all i want to know plain and simple is if texas law states that if he is not bio father and i have done nothing to hurt my son, like neglect, abandon, drugs, then why would he let him stay with the father, being he is not real father. i jst want my son back...
anyone who knows texas law, please help....
thanks much

You could always move back to TX to be with your child. You can't say he isn't a fit father, because you left your child with him and had no problem with it. Another issue is that you didn't properly notify &/or petition to move out of state with the child, when he has an established relationship with his 'father' (bio or not) in TX.

 

[lunamom]

no, i did not know the condom was broken, the real father was the second guy i ever had sex with and really did not know condom could even break, and so to go back at that time, yes i 100% was certain that my ex was the real father, becuase we never used protection and the real father came at me with this info.
anyway, i will look into that paternity fraud, cus i dont think this is that, because i never used my ex for child support or anything like that. its just now this has come up and yes i was aware that i had sex with another man, but being that i wasnt married to my ex yet nor with him at the time, i figured it was none of his business to know whom i had sex with only if i had truly thought that the other guy could have been the father. but thanks for that input.

 

[SMURFEELAW]

no, i did not know the condom was broken, the real father was the second guy i ever had sex with and really did not know condom could even break, and so to go back at that time, yes i 100% was certain that my ex was the real father, becuase we never used protection and the real father came at me with this info.
anyway, i will look into that paternity fraud, cus i dont think this is that, because i never used my ex for child support or anything like that. its just now this has come up and yes i was aware that i had sex with another man, but being that i wasnt married to my ex yet nor with him at the time, i figured it was none of his business to know whom i had sex with only if i had truly thought that the other guy could have been the father. but thanks for that input.

Ya know I wasn't going to go there but her goes anyway----->

First off do you KNOW (and I mean DNA test) that your ex is not the father?

Second are you kidding me that after nine years and a mean old custody battle that you just happen to run into a guy you only slept with once and you didn't know the condom broke and he said hey the condom broke the kid is mine and you just believe him. Let me guess the "new" bio dad lives in CA. as a matter fact sleeps in the same bed as you.

Third the point behind paternity fraud is that you led a man to believe that he was the father of a child that he isn't (assuming it even turns out that way). Not child support or anything YOU LIED---i.e. committed fraud he can sue you for any support paid and all mental anguish and still retain custody since your moral character is obviously going to be in question to the judge.

Fourth YOU married this guy and you were obviously with both men really close together if you thought the other was daddy so YES morally you did have an obligation to tell him you were sleeping with another man at the time of conception.

IF all you say about the LEGAL father of this child is true than I feel for the child b/c the poor little guy doesn't stand a chance against these odds. And I would also look into dis-establishing paternity IT IS NOT EASY.

 

[lunamom]

no, the real father lives in the same town in texas that my ex does.
he contacted me after seeing the child and seeing some similarities, and after speaking, we linked up took the personal test, and it came out to be his.
so that where we are now.
this battle has been going on since last july and i just found this out in january. i never told my husband who at the time of conception was just dating. anyway, ill speak to my attorney about this, because he could probably give me more info but thanks much for your input and advice again, and believe me, my son is the most important person in my life, unlike the father, is more concerned with NOT paying child support, and what about his moral character, he was the one who failed 2 cocaine drug test and the judge still allowed my son to go with him , only because he got remarried, how is that fair to the mother who has never done anything but strive to be a better a person so that I could provide for my child in all areas, from financially, and emotionally, i struggled so much just to get whre i am and all with my sons future in mind, and now he is being taking away from all because i worked my butt off to have a career in order to have a better future for my son and I. this is all about whats best for my child honestly. thats why im here to seek advice and input, so that i can be sure to make the right decision for my sons well being sake not mine.

 

[SMURFEELAW]

Well you know what Good Luck to you.

I still think there is something WAY OFF BASE on all sides of this story but that is not my concern.

I wish the victim of this situation all the best, my prayers are with your son wherever he is or will be.

 

[lunamom]

thank you much for keeping a stranger in your prayers,
i pray that the lord allows the judge to favor with me cus i know where
my heart is and i know that my ex is wrong in his heart, and i really dont want to use the paternity issue becuase i dont want anyone getting hurt, but whatever i gotta do make sure my son is where he should be where he can get the counseling he needs and the parent relationship he needs then i will do just about anything for that, as long is its legal of course.
thanks
again