What happens in a deposition?

[WillingToFight]

the way mom presented it in her post, was that SD was sitting around the table and stating HIS rules. if she said WE, it would a couple parenting issue. which is perfectly fine. it was her "my husband's rules" that brought speculation.

which is why i stated assist, such as a teacher or a babysitter. SD should never have authority over actual MOM or DAD.

and i have to say if my two younger kids dad ever pushed ANY of my children including our two, he'd have a pot embedded in the back of his head. and he KNOWS this.

I intended to type "My husband and I have rules..." Rules, as in household rules. Major decisions about the kids' welfare, he leaves to me and my ex and stays completely out of. He offers his opinion, but never in front of the kids

 

[Isis1]

I intended to type "My husband and I have rules..." Rules, as in household rules. Major decisions about the kids' welfare, he leaves to me and my ex and stays completely out of. He offers his opinion, but never in front of the kids

then keep it that way, and watch your terminology in court. it will save you grief. and when the ex brings up the pushing again, don't get your ruffles feathered like you did here. remain calm and let it go. let the judge get annoyed all on his/her own at the ex.

 

[WillingToFight]

then keep it that way, and watch your terminology in court. it will save you grief. and when the ex brings up the pushing again, don't get your ruffles feathered like you did here. remain calm and let it go. let the judge get annoyed all on his/her own at the ex.

A friend/co-worker of mine gave me some good advice: When the day in court arrives, bring a pad of paper and pen. Say nothing and show no emotion. If something is being said that you want to react to - write it down! If it's something that your attorney needs to be made aware of or respond to, write it down and pass it to him quietly. Do not sigh, gasp, or roll your eyes.

In a custody suit, emotions are running at their peak. Ex has a record of success in getting to me through emotions but I am working hard to put that energy in a different direction this time. I refuse to give up on my kids, even if they've been made to think they've given up on me.

Don't poke the Mama Bear!

 

[WillingToFight]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OR

My attorney has submitted a letter to my ex's attorney, along with a court Notice of Deposition for my ex to appear this Friday for deposition. My ex's attorney keeps objecting to everything my attorney requests, including Request for Production of Documents for the use of assessing child support (my ex is asking for sole legal and physical custody.)

Can my ex's attorney refuse to allow my ex to be deposed? I don't understand why/how he continues to be so uncooperative through these legal proceedings.

I guess I'm just anticipating another objection. They (my ex and his attorney) have produced no parenting plan and my ex has not fulfilled any of the court ordered mediation appointments. I'm having a difficult time understanding this process and how (if at all) he can be forced to cooperate.

UPDATE: To no surprise, ex's attorney objected to the request for Deposition, stating there was not enough notice given (along with a lot of cuss words and slamming the phone down on my attorney.) Attorney also stated my ex couldn't be there because he has a new job and can't afford to miss work, attorney's in court all week, blah blah blah.

My attorney could raise the issue and file a motion to compel but senior partners in his firm say this could be a red herring. I'm certain the core reason for their objection is to withhold as much information about my ex before the hearing as possible. Kids' attorney is also planning on putting my kids on the stand! Even my ex's attorney said he did not intend on putting the kids on the stand so Lord knows what the kids' attorney is thinking by doing this? If that happens, my attorney said he would advise me to politely ask to be excused from the court room while my kids take the stand. i just know they will cry under that kind of pressure.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

UPDATE: To no surprise, ex's attorney objected to the request for Deposition, stating there was not enough notice given (along with a lot of cuss words and slamming the phone down on my attorney.) Attorney also stated my ex couldn't be there because he has a new job and can't afford to miss work, attorney's in court all week, blah blah blah.

My attorney could raise the issue and file a motion to compel but senior partners in his firm say this could be a red herring. I'm certain the core reason for their objection is to withhold as much information about my ex before the hearing as possible. Kids' attorney is also planning on putting my kids on the stand! Even my ex's attorney said he did not intend on putting the kids on the stand so Lord knows what the kids' attorney is thinking by doing this? If that happens, my attorney said he would advise me to politely ask to be excused from the court room while my kids take the stand. i just know they will cry under that kind of pressure.

Request that the children talk to the judge in the judge's chamber with NO attorneys and NO parents.

This was in another post here on the forum. I saved it for obvious reasons. Might want to consider sending an anonymous copy to your X.

Don't Give Children A Sophie's Choice
by Honorable Anne Kass.

Ann Kass is a District Judge in the Second Judicial District State of New Mexico.

I sometimes say to divorcing parents, who are locked in a custody fight: Imagine that you have two children, and imagine the Court telling you that you can have only one of them. Imagine the Court telling you to pick one.

The parents usually look at me as though I were mad.

I then tell them about a movie I saw some years ago in which a mother was given that choice. It was World War II. She had been sent to a **** war camp. She had a small son and a small daughter. The **** soldiers said to her: "Pick one. Which one do you want?" The Mother said she could not choose between her children. The **** soldiers said if she didn't pick one, she would lose them both, so she picked one.

The name of the movie is "Sophie's Choice." It is about the life-long anguish that Sophie suffered from having to make a choice between her son and her daughter. The movie shows Sophie, after the war, as a rather aimless, nonproductive character and; an alcoholic.

I once thought that the movie was set in a **** war camp because no one, except a deranged ****, could possibly dream-up such a diabolical plot. But, that's not so. I see divorcing parents give their children Sophie's Choice every day.

When divorcing parents quarrel and struggle over their children or belittle one another in the children's presence, the message to the children is: Pick one of us. Which of your parents do you want?

Generally, the message is subtle. One parent puts on a long, sad face when the children leave to spend time with the other parent, or acts annoyed when the child reports having had a good time when with the other parent. Sometimes the message is blatant. Some parents actually ask the children, "which of us do you want to live with?"

Divorcing parents need to know that the most generous, the most loving gift each parent can give their children is his or her permission for the children to love the other parent and to accept love from the other parent. Many parents involved in custody disputes do not give their children that gift of permission. They give their children Sophie's Choice.

And the children who are faced with this choice often do as Sophie did--they self-destruct. They grow-up to be aimless, non-productive adults, with alcohol or drug problems, or worse. Theirs is the life-long anguish of being denied what should truly be an inalienable right--the right to love both parents.

 

[WillingToFight]

Request that the children talk to the judge in the judge's chamber with NO attorneys and NO parents.

This was in another post here on the forum. I saved it for obvious reasons. Might want to consider sending an anonymous copy to your X.

Thank you, Ginny. I think this is the most sensible response I've seen (not just pertaining to MY questions.)

The long, sad face is exactly what my ex has done. I have NEVER asked my children to decide. If a choice has to be made, the burden should not be placed on the children. Unfortunately, the children have already been exposed to this choice by their father.

If I am successful in being awarded full custody, by all means - I intend on keeping the relationship my children have with their father open and respecting that he IS their father and that they love him, despite his failures (or successes, if they ever come to light).

Thank you. I'm printing this to keep in my journal to reflect on.