Gracie3787
Senior Member
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Florida
I'd like to get some input and opinions on when and how my daughter should tell her son who his bio father is. (the bio father is my son).
My grandson is 4 years old. My son and daughter-in-law both have mental illnesses and weren't capable of raising a child. When my grandson was 13 months old, CPS removed him and my daughter recieved temp custody pending the parents completing a parenting course and getting jobs, cleaning the home, etc. They didn't, and the court severed their parental rights, when my grandson was 2.
My daughter adopted him 6 months later. We know that the bio mom will NEVER be a part of Brian's life, she is on drugs and has tried to kidnap another one of her children that the state took away.
My son is in prison at this time, and hasn't seen Brian since the day the CPS worker took him away, but he says that he'd like to be a part of his life when he gets out.
Brian is aware that he is adopted and has been asking about why he doesn't have a daddy and when can he get a daddy, etc. Originally, we (daughter, me, family) discussed referring to bio dad as "uncle" (which my son is a little upset with, but he at least understands why). We didn't want to tell him who his real dad is, our concern was that it would be hard for others to understand that Brian's mommy and daddy are actually brother and sister. But I'm not so sure that this is the best way to handle it.
I told my daughter that I'd post on here and get some opinions from other adoptive parents.
At what age might it be best to fully explain to Brian the circumstances of his bio parents and adoption?
Should we refer to his bio dad as "uncle" or just by his name, or might that be a problem for Brian later when he learns that the man he calls uncle is his bio dad?
It's all very confusing and Brian is such a well adjusted happy little boy that we are afraid of causing problems for him by doing the wrong thing.
Any suggestions/opinions will be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Gracie
I'd like to get some input and opinions on when and how my daughter should tell her son who his bio father is. (the bio father is my son).
My grandson is 4 years old. My son and daughter-in-law both have mental illnesses and weren't capable of raising a child. When my grandson was 13 months old, CPS removed him and my daughter recieved temp custody pending the parents completing a parenting course and getting jobs, cleaning the home, etc. They didn't, and the court severed their parental rights, when my grandson was 2.
My daughter adopted him 6 months later. We know that the bio mom will NEVER be a part of Brian's life, she is on drugs and has tried to kidnap another one of her children that the state took away.
My son is in prison at this time, and hasn't seen Brian since the day the CPS worker took him away, but he says that he'd like to be a part of his life when he gets out.
Brian is aware that he is adopted and has been asking about why he doesn't have a daddy and when can he get a daddy, etc. Originally, we (daughter, me, family) discussed referring to bio dad as "uncle" (which my son is a little upset with, but he at least understands why). We didn't want to tell him who his real dad is, our concern was that it would be hard for others to understand that Brian's mommy and daddy are actually brother and sister. But I'm not so sure that this is the best way to handle it.
I told my daughter that I'd post on here and get some opinions from other adoptive parents.
At what age might it be best to fully explain to Brian the circumstances of his bio parents and adoption?
Should we refer to his bio dad as "uncle" or just by his name, or might that be a problem for Brian later when he learns that the man he calls uncle is his bio dad?
It's all very confusing and Brian is such a well adjusted happy little boy that we are afraid of causing problems for him by doing the wrong thing.
Any suggestions/opinions will be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Gracie