When can you assume visitation is skipped?

[brotymo]

What is the name of your state? GA

The divorce papers say that visitation for my ex is every other weekend from 6 pm Friday to 6 pm Sunday. It does not address any details about pickup of the children or anything else about the visitation. If the ex doesn't come get them on Friday, when can I consider it pretty obvious that the visitation isn't being exercised? Is there a pretty accepted way of viewing this?
Ex is saying that if he doesn't come get them, that I'd still better have them available all weekend in case he decides to come get them.
The problem with this is, what if I have out of town plans, and he doesn't come, and I have to take the children with me for the weekend?

 

[brotymo]

Ex lives several hours away, btw...

 

[Neal1421]

What is the name of your state? GA

The divorce papers say that visitation for my ex is every other weekend from 6 pm Friday to 6 pm Sunday. It does not address any details about pickup of the children or anything else about the visitation. If the ex doesn't come get them on Friday, when can I consider it pretty obvious that the visitation isn't being exercised? Is there a pretty accepted way of viewing this?
Ex is saying that if he doesn't come get them, that I'd still better have them available all weekend in case he decides to come get them.
The problem with this is, what if I have out of town plans, and he doesn't come, and I have to take the children with me for the weekend?

He should call and say that he is going to be late if that is the case. If he doesn't, I would say consider it missed visitation if he doesn't call or show by 7 or 8 Friday night.

He is blowing smoke up you a** by saying that you have to have them available all weekend. You don't have to do that.

 

[Silverplum]

He should call and say that he is going to be late if that is the case. If he doesn't, I would say consider it missed visitation if he doesn't call or show by 7 or 8 Friday night.

He is blowing smoke up you a** by saying that you have to have them available all weekend. You don't have to do that.

Mmmmmm, Neal.....I'm not so sure you can be so very definitive here.

I think Mom has to go to court/mediation to have this clarified to include a cut-off time. I don't think she can unilaterally decide that Dad has missed visitation.

 

[brotymo]

I am not trying to be difficult with him about it. I have been flexible whenever I can, but I am just wondering, since there are some looming problems ahead, how it would "go down" for me if he trys to tell me he can't get them until Saturday, and that conflict keeps me from something I had planned if I don't take the kids with me (thus, not being here when Saturday rolls around).

 

[Silverplum]

I am not trying to be difficult with him about it. I have been flexible whenever I can, but I am just wondering, since there are some looming problems ahead, how it would "go down" for me if he trys to tell me he can't get them until Saturday, and that conflict keeps me from something I had planned if I don't take the kids with me (thus, not being here when Saturday rolls around).

Take it to court/mediation and get it clarified. This is a common problem. Maybe your state has guidelines for how long you have to wait.

 

[Zephyr]

I am not trying to be difficult with him about it. I have been flexible whenever I can, but I am just wondering, since there are some looming problems ahead, how it would "go down" for me if he trys to tell me he can't get them until Saturday, and that conflict keeps me from something I had planned if I don't take the kids with me (thus, not being here when Saturday rolls around).

Well if he tells you in advance that he can't get there until saturday then you have time to make whatever arrengements need to be made inorder to make the visit happen, i.e hire a sitter when you go out of town that dad pays when he picks up the kids- make sure dad knows he is to pay the sitter.....there are numerous solutions possible.....

 

[LdiJ]

My opinion is that if she has a trip out of town, and dad is a no-show, then she should go ahead and take the trip and take the kids with her. She can leave dad a message as to where he can pick up the kids if he still wants to get them.

Let dad take her to court for contempt. She will explain that dad was a no show/no contact and that left her with no choice other than to take the kids with her (or miss her planned trip). The judge isn't going to hold her in contempt, and may even rip dad a new one for filing the contempt action.

The end result would probably be the judge putting rules in place.

Yes, its true that you are technically supposed to have the kids available for the entire period.....but "reason" also comes into play.

 

[Zephyr]

My opinion is that if she has a trip out of town, and dad is a no-show, then she should go ahead and take the trip and take the kids with her. She can leave dad a message as to where he can pick up the kids if he still wants to get them.

Let dad take her to court for contempt. She will explain that dad was a no show/no contact and that left her with no choice other than to take the kids with her (or miss her planned trip). The judge isn't going to hold her in contempt, and may even rip dad a new one for filing the contempt action.

The end result would probably be the judge putting rules in place.

Yes, its true that you are technically supposed to have the kids available for the entire period.....but "reason" also comes into play.

I agree totally, I should have been more clear, my post was for the situation where dad informs mom that he knows he will be late, and will be picking up the children at a certain time, not for situations where no arrangements have been made....

 

[brotymo]

Thank you all for your replies.
Yes, there is much that needs to be clarified in the papers...it is all fodder for the ex's games the way it is right now. I just don't have the money to go back to court and get it all straightened out...in addition to the contempt issues he is pulling as well. I don't really want to go without an attorney since my ex has hired one of the best in the county.

 

[Halls]

I talked to one of my old family lawyers about this and she said that in most states if there is nothing in the court order about a cut off time it doesn't matter, the CP shouldn't have to sit on their butt an entire weekend waiting for the NCP to show up or not, it doesn't work that way. If the NCP takes this into court saying that the CP wasn't home on Sunday afternoon when he finally came to get his kid for the remainder of the weekend a judge is likely going to laugh! Also, an appropriate cut off time per courts is 30 minutes.

Parents should say if they aren't coming to pick up their kids and if they plan to forfeight their weekend. If they still want to pick them up say Sat instead of Friday night they need to ask the CP if that is ok, not assume they have no life and that they control them.

 

[nicetryadmin]

Most states (should) have statutes that address this. If not, definitely the local court should for their standard visitation and/or parenting plans for those parents that can not agree.

There is no way you are obligated to have the child available all weekend if the other parent has not shown-up or called. After a specific period of time, they've forfeited the time.

 

[amanning]

Not sure about your state, but my attorney told me that they have a 30 minute window unless he calls that he is running late. That is for TX though.

 

[haiku]

it all depends on the state. In the states I am familiar with the NCPs time is thier time, and it does not matter when during that time they want to pick up, the CP must surrender the kid.

the 30 minute clause is for the actual court ordered pickup times. If the picking up parent is no show, the parent with posession can go about thier business, after the 30min, but they still will have to surrender the kid, if the other parent shows. They just do not have to do ANY of the transporting for it any more. ie: you drive an hour to drop kids with dad at mickeyd's but he is a no show so you go home. He calls the next day saying he wants the kids? You don't have to drive them to mickeyd's but you do have to give them to him if he lands on your doorstep and you are there, if you went to grandma's for the day he is still outta luck.

 

[two4two]

If the NCP comes at the time they are suppose to pick up the child and the NCP is not present, then it is contempt of court. Souldn't the same rules apply for the NCP? Being a parent in general requires people to make sacrafices and adjustments to have their children be at certain places at certain times eveyday, in my opinion, if a NCP cannot make a small adjustment to their schedule to be where they need to in order to SEE THEIR CHILDREN, then they do not really care about the cause. This is aside from small things like car trouble, running late, etc.
The NCP has an ongoing year-around schedule of when they see the child, it seems to me that they should amend their lives to be where they need to to utilize this if they want to. As a CP that is what is done everyday of my life, it is just part of being a parent. Is the court saying that a NCP does not have to be as responsible for the child as a CP?