Wits End

[GaMoM13]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia
While in Support modification hearings the county CSS had been garnishing my ex husbands wages. At the same time he had sent me two seperate months child support during the months the modification process was going on. At that time I was confused as to what I was being paid and not being paid so I just went with thinking he knew he was being garnished and that the two checks he had sent to me were in line with what he was suppose to be doing************** fast forward to me getting a certified letter from him saying he overpaid 2 months and that he was now going to with hold the next two months of support (all by him not by court order) and when I sent him a text saying that if he had overpaid me I will pay him back but he should know that I dont think just stopping his child support is legal he responded by saying that if I did not pay him 500 a month until the two months was paid back that he would have me charged with embezzlement......
My question(s): A. can he just stop paying his monthly child support. B. Can he have me charged with embezzlement?
And as a side note my ex is a narcissist on the highest level. He once starved my dog by not coming by and feeding it while I was out of town for 3 days with my now husband AFTER he told me he would do it and waited until the afternoon i was on my way back to email me and tell me he didnt stop by. Im tired of this man....

 

[Zigner]

You've already received two additional months of payments. It seems perfectly reasonable that he doesn't pay for two months.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia
While in Support modification hearings the county CSS had been garnishing my ex husbands wages. At the same time he had sent me two seperate months child support during the months the modification process was going on. At that time I was confused as to what I was being paid and not being paid so I just went with thinking he knew he was being garnished and that the two checks he had sent to me were in line with what he was suppose to be doing************** fast forward to me getting a certified letter from him saying he overpaid 2 months and that he was now going to with hold the next two months of support (all by him not by court order) and when I sent him a text saying that if he had overpaid me I will pay him back but he should know that I dont think just stopping his child support is legal he responded by saying that if I did not pay him 500 a month until the two months was paid back that he would have me charged with embezzlement......
My question(s): A. can he just stop paying his monthly child support. B. Can he have me charged with embezzlement?
And as a side note my ex is a narcissist on the highest level. He once starved my dog by not coming by and feeding it while I was out of town for 3 days with my now husband AFTER he told me he would do it and waited until the afternoon i was on my way back to email me and tell me he didnt stop by. Im tired of this man....

His alleged transgressions have absolutely nothing to do with your double-dipping.

That said, it's not embezzlement. Pay the man back.

I don't buy that you honestly didn't know, and I doubt anyone else would either.

 

[Zigner]

Here's the OP's prior thread: https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/out-control-father-need-help-608545.html

 

[GaMoM13]

His alleged transgressions have absolutely nothing to do with your double-dipping.

That said, it's not embezzlement. Pay the man back.

I don't buy that you honestly didn't know, and I doubt anyone else would either.

I can understand the thinking that I should have known but without trying to write a book the child support hearings went across 2 countys and 7 months . he is a doctor makes 240,000 a year and pays 1,000 a month for two children. please spare me poor hims. I can understand the paying back of which Im not even sure he overpaid in the first place. But I dont believe just stopping child support of your own thinking is legal. Im pretty sure its contempt of court. In saying that if he wants to go to court to have them unweave the mess that CSS created across two counties Id be more than welcome to that.

 

[Ladyback1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia
While in Support modification hearings the county CSS had been garnishing my ex husbands wages. At the same time he had sent me two seperate months child support during the months the modification process was going on. At that time I was confused as to what I was being paid and not being paid so I just went with thinking he knew he was being garnished and that the two checks he had sent to me were in line with what he was suppose to be doing************** fast forward to me getting a certified letter from him saying he overpaid 2 months and that he was now going to with hold the next two months of support (all by him not by court order) and when I sent him a text saying that if he had overpaid me I will pay him back but he should know that I dont think just stopping his child support is legal he responded by saying that if I did not pay him 500 a month until the two months was paid back that he would have me charged with embezzlement......
My question(s): A. can he just stop paying his monthly child support. B. Can he have me charged with embezzlement?
And as a side note my ex is a narcissist on the highest level. He once starved my dog by not coming by and feeding it while I was out of town for 3 days with my now husband AFTER he told me he would do it and waited until the afternoon i was on my way back to email me and tell me he didnt stop by. Im tired of this man....

Definition of embezzlement:
"The fraudulent conversion of another's property by a person who is in a position of trust, such as an agent or employee..." typically to prove embezzlement and/or fraud, INTENT has to be proven. So, I'm thinking your Ex will have a difficult task ahead of him to file charges for embezzlement.

Any parent ordered to pay child support can, at any time, just stop paying. What happens when the parent stops paying can vary widely....

As to the whole feeding the dog issue: If you knew this man is/was a narcissist on the "highest level"--why in the name of all that is Holy did you expect him to feed the dog?? Why would you depend upon him to do the right thing??

 

[GaMoM13]

Definition of embezzlement:
"The fraudulent conversion of another's property by a person who is in a position of trust, such as an agent or employee..." typically to prove embezzlement and/or fraud, INTENT has to be proven. So, I'm thinking your Ex will have a difficult task ahead of him to file charges for embezzlement.

Any parent ordered to pay child support can, at any time, just stop paying. What happens when the parent stops paying can vary widely....

As to the whole feeding the dog issue: If you knew this man is/was a narcissist on the "highest level"--why in the name of all that is Holy did you expect him to feed the dog?? Why would you depend upon him to do the right thing??

one of those things I guess.....you try to believe someone has good in them and are proven wrong. I have been divorced from this man for over 9 years and remarried for the past year and a half. I have been punished for every bit of 9 years for leaving him for cheating on me with a girl in his office. Im just looking for answers or "consensus of the crowd" as to ideas on how to handle him. I nor my husband now is rich. we work hard with what we have. I dont have 4000 to plunk down on a lawyer for a retainer so he is able to keep his thumb on us constantly. Always passive agressively.....pushing. The problem I have at this moment is yes probably an oversight on my part IF he overpaid....but not having child support for 2 months isnt a moral debate on whether he can its a question of legality since our divorce decree decided such 9 years ago. Im pretty sure he cant just decide on his own to stop payments. and if he wants to bring me to court to decide if I owe him anything thats fine by me. just looking for some ideas of how to handle what I can only imagine isnt legally correct on his part. not looking for a debate on what may or may not happened between CSS and him when figuring out when garnishment started and his own payments ended for how ever many months.

 

[Ladyback1]

one of those things I guess.....you try to believe someone has good in them and are proven wrong. I have been divorced from this man for over 9 years and remarried for the past year and a half. I have been punished for every bit of 9 years for leaving him for cheating on me with a girl in his office. Im just looking for answers or "consensus of the crowd" as to ideas on how to handle him. I nor my husband now is rich. we work hard with what we have. I dont have 4000 to plunk down on a lawyer for a retainer so he is able to keep his thumb on us constantly. Always passive agressively.....pushing. The problem I have at this moment is yes probably an oversight on my part IF he overpaid....but not having child support for 2 months isnt a moral debate on whether he can its a question of legality since our divorce decree decided such 9 years ago. Im pretty sure he cant just decide on his own to stop payments. and if he wants to bring me to court to decide if I owe him anything thats fine by me. just looking for some ideas of how to handle what I can only imagine isnt legally correct on his part. not looking for a debate on what may or may not happened between CSS and him when figuring out when garnishment started and his own payments ended for how ever many months.

It is a moral debate! He CHOOSES when and if he pays child support. And yes, he can decide to quit paying. He may face repercussions if he does stop--but, he CAN just stop!

You were a victim when you were married to him--Stop being a victim now! And the best way to do that is, quit allowing him to control YOU and how you react/behave.

 

[Zigner]

Im pretty sure he cant just decide on his own to stop payments.

Think about it -

Let's say he doesn't pay you for two months and you file for contempt. By the time you get to court, he'll have already restarted his payments AND he won't be behind. What do you expect to happen? Let me tell you, a big fat nothing will happen. Meanwhile, you'll have incurred costs to make the point of "he can't do that."

 

[latigo]

(Narcissism is not feeding a dog?)

The ex could be narcissistic on the side, but he is also tripping over himself in telling you that he intends to both withhold the next two support payments and sue your for the same amount.

Embezzlement charges? Nada! Not gonna happen. Going to the bank to endorse and deposit his checks isn't even jaywalking.

 

[GaMoM13]

Think about it -

Let's say he doesn't pay you for two months and you file for contempt. By the time you get to court, he'll have already restarted his payments AND he won't be behind. What do you expect to happen? Let me tell you, a big fat nothing will happen. Meanwhile, you'll have incurred costs to make the point of "he can't do that."

now without reading into any sarcasm from that I actually agree. my title is wits end. maybe I should be leaning more towards trying to stop his ways then this exact problem.

 

[Ohiogal]

Are you working? How much do you earn? Has your income changed since the divorce?

 

[Zigner]

Going to the bank to endorse and deposit his checks isn't even jaywalking.

We really don't have enough information to accurately determine that.

 

[LdiJ]

The OP has not necessarily been as clear as she could be, but I do not think its clearly established that he has overpaid child support.

If the child support is being garnished from his wages he cannot simply stop paying it for two months either. That option doesn't exist. His threat of embezzlement charges is completely ludicrous. He is also educated enough to know that its ludicrous, which tells me that he is a bully.

OP, I would suggest that you ask him to provide you a written paper trail to prove that he has overpaid you by two months. If he is employed, with a wage then the percentage of child support he is paying is incredibly low for his income level...which means that if he made a couple of voluntary payments, but the wage withholding order showed him behind, his employer could have actually withheld the arrears the employer believed existed, and you might not have received that payment yet.

If that happens then it will be obvious to you that you were overpaid, and you will have the money available to immediately pay him back. Otherwise, insist that he provide you an accounting.

 

[Zigner]

I agree. I should have been more specific about. If he has actually overpaid, then what I have said applies. If he hasn't actually overpaid, then things will be different.

It's too bad our OP doesn't even know...