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Would appreciate suggestions.

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LizzieB

Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

I would appreciate any suggestions you all might have.

I am looking to modify my visitation order.

I have an 8.5 year old daughter who lives in So. Cal. and I live in Dallas. Our order calls for 2 weekend and 3 if available. It also allows for 1 week for every month of summer break from school.

As my daughter is getting older and more involved in girl scouts, soccer, etc., I would like to modify our order that will allow our daughter to take part in these activities and not have to visit with me as it seems as though she may wind up resenting having to be with dad. In the alternative, I would rather accept minimal visitation through the school year in return for longer, school established long weekends and 8 of 12 weeks in the summer.

Is this too much to ask for?

My feeling is that as my daughter gets older, she's going to be more interested in her activities. I do not want her to resent the time she spends with me. Also, by having more summer time visitation, it will allow us to share more experiences together, such as taking a month in Italy or where ever where she can immerse herself in new cultures, etc.

What do the experts think is reasonable? I'm just trying to make things as reasonable as possible for everyone. My Ex wanted this type of arrangement originally, but the court found otherwise. When I brought it up to my ex, she now doesn't want to do it.

Thanks.
 
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TinkerBelleLuvr

Senior Member
In your case, look at the calendar and see if there are long weekends throughout the school year. Maybe a long weekend every month in exchange for more time in the summer.

The alternative, in your case, is to stay in HER town on one of the weekends and participate in those events. Yes, I know all about the accusations, but has anything ever come of them?
 
M

mistoffolees

Senior Member
LizzieB said:
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

I would appreciate any suggestions you all might have.

I am looking to modify my visitation order.

I have an 8.5 year old daughter who lives in So. Cal. and I live in Dallas. Our order calls for 2 weekend and 3 if available. It also allows for 1 week for every month of summer break from school.

As my daughter is getting older and more involved in girl scouts, soccer, etc., I would like to modify our order that will allow our daughter to take part in these activities and not have to visit with me as it seems as though she may wind up resenting having to be with dad. In the alternative, I would rather accept minimal visitation through the school year in return for longer, school established long weekends and 8 of 12 weeks in the summer.

Is this too much to ask for?

My feeling is that as my daughter gets older, she's going to be more interested in her activities. I do not want her to resent the time she spends with me. Also, by having more summer time visitation, it will allow us to share more experiences together, such as taking a month in Italy or where ever where she can immerse herself in new cultures, etc.

What do the experts think is reasonable? I'm just trying to make things as reasonable as possible for everyone. My Ex wanted this type of arrangement originally, but the court found otherwise. When I brought it up to my ex, she now doesn't want to do it.

Thanks.
Click to expand...
You're going to have a hard time getting a change without showing a change in the child's life. (Getting older generally doesn't count).

Your best bet is to reach an agreement with your ex. if that's not possible, then you have to work within the system as much as possible - visit in daughter's town as was suggested or she may just have to miss some events. Or, if there's an event she really doesn't want to miss, you can skip a visitation any time you wish.
 
stealth2

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
We did one w/e a month and the bulk of the summer (they went the Friday after school ended, until the Sunday before school started, with one week in July and another in August at home). My two really didn't like that schedule - every summer, their friends at home would hang out together and they missed all that fun, while their friends at their Dad's had their year-round friends they wanted to hang out with.

I second the suggestion of spending some number of the weekends in the children's community so as to be able to spend time with them, but also have some involvement in their extracurriculars. I offered that to my ex numerous times (offering to pay the amount I would have contributed to their airfare for his expenses, plus half of the hotel room cost). It really would have meant a lot to them to have their Dad spend time with them here, going to Scout stuff, Father/Daughter dances (picture being the only girl at one of these with her Mom...:(), meeting their friends, etc. That was a total non-starter, though. I'd urge Dad to at least consider it.
 
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Isis1

Senior Member
TinkerBelleLuvr said:
In your case, look at the calendar and see if there are long weekends throughout the school year. Maybe a long weekend every month in exchange for more time in the summer.

The alternative, in your case, is to stay in HER town on one of the weekends and participate in those events. Yes, I know all about the accusations, but has anything ever come of them?
Click to expand...
Per history, this dad refuses to set foot in CA. It's too horrible and mom might accuse him of something.
 
C

CSO286

Senior Member
Isis1 said:
Umm, seniors. Has anyone looked at the poster's location? Any memories?
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I am right there with you, Isis.

OP is so extraodinarily wealthy that he should be able to call upon his crack legal team (who I'm sure are available to him 24/7) to assist him in any of his concerns.

In the event that the "I'm as rich as Croesus" declarations are just a sham...the other posters' advice is pretty sound.
 
L

LizzieB

Member
Isis1 said:
Per history, this dad refuses to set foot in CA. It's too horrible and mom might accuse him of something.
Click to expand...
Thanks for the responses thus far.

Actually when I did bring this new plan up, it did include spending weekends in So. Cal. on occasion.

To reiterate, I can certainly live with the existing order. I'm doing it. It's working. I'm just thinking about what would be easier on my daughter as it relates to her activities and schooling.

As for my ex, if I say black, she says white. She's even accused me of stalking her which is absolutely ludicrous. She took our daughter on a cruise this past week for spring break and accused me of stalking her in Florida and I never left my city.

Knowing my judge, he'll probably be ok with a modification. One more question, should I try to do this on my own or let my lawyers handle it?
 
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