What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? California
Well, my wife of 3.5 years just gave me the boot. She said 'she didn't love me any more'. I then found out that she has had relationships with 2 different guys for the past year. She is following in her mother's footsteps... I should have seen it coming.
Well, this is the background and any advice would be helpful:
I have a 2 y/o girl and I have a step daughter (8) who is currently getting child support from her bio-dad ($3k a month). My main objective is to provide both kids with a stable enviornment (my wife has moved just about every 18 months for the past 15 years). Because we are in California, I make $200k, I work 70 hours a week, she has been a stay at home mom since I married her, she has no marketable skills, I am a stepdad to one of the girls and they won't split up the siblings (nor would I want them to), and there isn't anything wrong with adultery in the California courts, I figure that there isn't any chance that the courts will give me sole custody of the kids.
Initial reasearch on child support shows that I would only have to pay about $2200 per month... but she wouldn't be able to live in the house for that amount + alimony for a couple of years... and I feel that a home gives the kids stability in their lives.
I am willing to pay her MORE than she is entitled to, because I don't want to disrupt the kid's lives more than this already will.
This is what she wants me to agree to prior to mediation:
-She can live in the house and I will pay the mortgage ($2800)
-I can give her an additional $1250 chlild support + a cost of living adjustment annually
-She would keep the car that I gave her and pay the insurance/gas/maintenance
-I pay my biological kid's extra-curricular activities, healthcare, private school, etc on top of the $1250 + mortgage
-I have both kids one night a week and every other weekend, holidays, etc.
-When the house sells in the future, she & I would split the proceeds.
She is willing to go to mediation, but only if I agree to the above by the end of the day on Monday (a holiday). If not, she is meeting with her attorney first thing Tuesday morning who has promised to, in her words, 'take me to the cleaners'...also, if I change the basics in the above agreement during mediation, she will go to court.
I want to stay away from court because I'm sure that the kids and I will both lose and I know that if we go to court, I'm stuck with all of her legal bills... she knows it too.
The attorney that I am going to meet with isn't available until Wednesday, but she has given me the ultimatum to get back to her by Monday evening.
-Am I a fool to think that this will be enough?
-From what you see here, am I giving away too much?
-Should I just agree to anything and talk with the attorney that I have been referred to?
-She was molested by a few of her mother's overnight guests (one from when she was 8-16)... a real sad story. I wan't to protect my kids from the same thing happening to them... if she agrees to no overnight guests in the house when the kids are there, will that be enforceable?
Thanks for your help,
Joe Dirt
By the way, single guys reading this: don't think that they won't turn out just like their mother.
Well, my wife of 3.5 years just gave me the boot. She said 'she didn't love me any more'. I then found out that she has had relationships with 2 different guys for the past year. She is following in her mother's footsteps... I should have seen it coming.
Well, this is the background and any advice would be helpful:
I have a 2 y/o girl and I have a step daughter (8) who is currently getting child support from her bio-dad ($3k a month). My main objective is to provide both kids with a stable enviornment (my wife has moved just about every 18 months for the past 15 years). Because we are in California, I make $200k, I work 70 hours a week, she has been a stay at home mom since I married her, she has no marketable skills, I am a stepdad to one of the girls and they won't split up the siblings (nor would I want them to), and there isn't anything wrong with adultery in the California courts, I figure that there isn't any chance that the courts will give me sole custody of the kids.
Initial reasearch on child support shows that I would only have to pay about $2200 per month... but she wouldn't be able to live in the house for that amount + alimony for a couple of years... and I feel that a home gives the kids stability in their lives.
I am willing to pay her MORE than she is entitled to, because I don't want to disrupt the kid's lives more than this already will.
This is what she wants me to agree to prior to mediation:
-She can live in the house and I will pay the mortgage ($2800)
-I can give her an additional $1250 chlild support + a cost of living adjustment annually
-She would keep the car that I gave her and pay the insurance/gas/maintenance
-I pay my biological kid's extra-curricular activities, healthcare, private school, etc on top of the $1250 + mortgage
-I have both kids one night a week and every other weekend, holidays, etc.
-When the house sells in the future, she & I would split the proceeds.
She is willing to go to mediation, but only if I agree to the above by the end of the day on Monday (a holiday). If not, she is meeting with her attorney first thing Tuesday morning who has promised to, in her words, 'take me to the cleaners'...also, if I change the basics in the above agreement during mediation, she will go to court.
I want to stay away from court because I'm sure that the kids and I will both lose and I know that if we go to court, I'm stuck with all of her legal bills... she knows it too.
The attorney that I am going to meet with isn't available until Wednesday, but she has given me the ultimatum to get back to her by Monday evening.
-Am I a fool to think that this will be enough?
-From what you see here, am I giving away too much?
-Should I just agree to anything and talk with the attorney that I have been referred to?
-She was molested by a few of her mother's overnight guests (one from when she was 8-16)... a real sad story. I wan't to protect my kids from the same thing happening to them... if she agrees to no overnight guests in the house when the kids are there, will that be enforceable?
Thanks for your help,
Joe Dirt
By the way, single guys reading this: don't think that they won't turn out just like their mother.