What have I gotten myself into????

[CarrieWest]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas,San Antonio

A couple of months ago my ex said a nasty comment to his therapist and it was reported to CPS ( our daughter had been sick on his visits so I called and told him she was not coming. He told me legally I had to bring her no matter. I refused to here him so I hang up on him. He told his therapist if I continued with holding his daughter on his visits he was going to kill me she reported it to CPS they opened a case, but his other children are still in his home) My attorney and then filed for a modition to modify visits and CPS called in to the judge and told him they thought he was a danger. So they judge made his visits supervised, with CPS supervising them and I had to drive our daughter to Austin every tuesday for a visit from 4pm-5pm. We were also ordered to complete a social study before any other modifications would be made. From what I understand we have both done our part in the social study the study is just not complete on the preparers side. This of me driving back and fourth is not working any more. It is interfering with my work schedule. I am having to leave SA no later then 2:00pm to avoid traffic and when the visit is over at 5pm I get stuck in traffic no matter which way I look at it and do not get home till 8:30pm. I filed a motion to modify on the basis of " the present orders relating to possession of and access to the child have become unworkable and are no longer in the best interest of the child because the parent and child are required to travel to austin each and every week." I am asking for her father to do all the driving and to do supervised visits through a facility in SA at his expense. Well I later found out I filed it with the wrong judge and the his attorney is out of town on another case. (I let my attorney go could not afford it anymore) So his attorney filed for a continouce and that the case needed to go back in front of the original Judge. The judge who heard her motion to strick moved the court date to Monday. Not sure if this is going in front of the original judge. She has also filed for a motion to reconsider Supervision. based on the basis if I no longer have to drive he should not have supervised visits. His attorney is going to have 2 witnesses the case worker currently supervising the visits and the gentlemen who did our social study. So here are my questions

1. Is there a possibility that he will no longer have to do supervised visits? He has been doing them since Dec 18th 08 he has had 10 supervised visits with CPS and our daughter
2. Is it possible the judge could stick to the original orders untill final hearing?
3. What are my options?

 

[stealth2]

Frankly, it sounds as though the therapist overreacted big time. I'd wager that most of us have said something similar in anger and not actually meant it. Fact is - you DID withhold the child from the ordered visitation and you would likely be found in contempt. Just because she's sick isn't a reason for her other parent to be unable to care for her. Sorry.

Hopefully, the judge will right this and let Dad have his time back. Until then? Keep on driving.

 

[RaineeDemas]

I agree with Stealth. Even though the child was sick you should have given dad the opportunity to care for his daughter. As you said there are other children in the home and I am assuming he has remarried. So I am sure this was something he could have attempted to do and if he had questions he had someone else to ask. How many visits did you with hold? Is he remarried if so what are the ages of the other children. In my oppinion as I am not an attorney there is a good chance that he may get those reqular visits back because of the way you have handled this.

 

[LdiJ]

I would normally agree with Stealth and the other poster, but CPS apparently backed up the therapist when they originally made their recommendation.

However, its quite possible that after 10 supervised visits that CPS has now determined that the father is not a danger to the child.

I swear however that we heard this same story from the father's point of view not long ago.

 

[CarrieWest]

Yes he has married. Him and I were never married. Him and his wife have been married 2 years and been together since right before our daughter was born. There was a total of 4 visits missed. Each time I toke her to the doctor in one case I even had to take her to the ER and she had a upper respitory infection and the doctor wrote a note to stay away from people this was the Thanksgiving weekend. I believe his step children are 11,10 & 8. His step children are older I do not believe he has ever had to take care of a smaller sick child and believed she would just get sicker. Even tho the so called contempt happened over 11 weeks ago can he still go after contempt at the final hearing? It has been set for a jury trail

 

[LdiJ]

In fact....here it is:

Posts: 18

Father just wants time with his daughter

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

A year ago I found out I had a daughter. She was 2 when I found out, she is now three. I had an ex who continued to tell me over and over she was mine but I had doubts. She continued emails saying she was sick and in the hospital and I need to come see her. I told her at that time I would be glad to come see her let me know where and my wife and kids would be coming with me. (the last time she asked me to come see the baby after I left my home town another man called and said If I showed up he was going to kick my ass. The reason why I was bringing someone with me) The minute I mentioned that all of a sudden she was not my daughter. This went on for months untill I had enough and filed with the attorney generals office. I filed out my paper work and she never filled out hers and turned it in but they had enough to continue with out it. I toke a paternity test and she was mine. I was excited and ready to take on that role. They only gave me 2 visits supervised thru a place called Kid Share untill the next hearing. I was not happy with this and hired an attorney. After 5 months I got temp orders for 2,4 & 5th weekends. Then my ex decided to get into my wifes back ground and she had a few cases with CPS but has maintained custody of all three of her children. So the courts dropped it to supervised visits once a week where I live supervised by CPS and she has to drive to the visits. The judge ordered a social study and said no other visits would be granted untill the social study was complete and the judge had the prepares recommandation. Our family did our social study on Jan 24 and to todays date she has not done nothing. This last week her attorney filed for a motion to modify temp orders under the grounds of mother and child had to drive to Austin every week from San Antonio and then did not file it with the judge who has our case. Her attorney has done this many times, not filing with the right judge and our attorney has filed to dismiss and it has. which is what she has done now. It seems they keep doing this to delay what is going to happen. They want me to drive to SA and do my visits there and pay for kid share again out of my pocket. So my questions are this

1. Does this process usually take a year? I feel the mother does not want me to participate in my daughters life but wants my child support.

2. Our attoney has filed for a jury trail because of the stunts the other attorney has pulled. ( filing with the wrong judge, filed for a continous with another judge after our attorney sent her several faxes and emails stateing she was not going to be here she was on vacation and had a letter on file with the courts, and the other judge granted it) she is asking for all money back that we have payed her does this usually happen? or how does that work?

3. Am I wrong for continueing to fight this? I just want to have a relationship with my daughter. Its getting to the point were I am ready to give up. What are my other options? I have even set up three appts with a mediator confirmed dates with them and then they never showed....I am at a loss can someone help me and let me know what else to do

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And the writing styles are remarkably similar

 

[Ohiogal]

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/little-lost-what-happen-next-451371.html

This is Carrie's Prior thread. She is stalling on doing the homestudy because her STEPSON is not there because HER husband will not enforce his visitation. She has also attempted to deny dad time with his child.

 

[wileybunch]

Poetic justice, really. OP played games with Dad until he blew his stack and said something unfortunate. No indication Dad has ever had any violent acts though what OP has posted (and Dad isn't admitting to it). So does strike as an overreaction, but, geez, OP, what do you expect when you screw with someone over and over and over? Using a child as a manipulative tool IS maddening on many levels.

We expect men to use their might and muscle to protect us, our country, etc., not have feelings, persevere, etc. and then play games with their own flesh and blood and have them roll over like weenies? NOT justifying physical violence, but OP, you are no innocent bystander, you are a manipulator and provoker. Own your part of things and YOU undo what you started.

So you are stuck driving to Austin. Poetic justice, really.

 

[Ohiogal]

Frankly, it sounds as though the therapist overreacted big time. I'd wager that most of us have said something similar in anger and not actually meant it. Fact is - you DID withhold the child from the ordered visitation and you would likely be found in contempt. Just because she's sick isn't a reason for her other parent to be unable to care for her. Sorry.

Hopefully, the judge will right this and let Dad have his time back. Until then? Keep on driving.

Under Tarasoff is those are the facts, the therapist did not overreact. HOWEVER this OP has made many many errors per her other thread.

 

[RaineeDemas]

I think it is quite convient that the child was sick on all visits for dad. This is not approariate at all. That could be why the judge ordered you to drive to Austin was due to the fact you violated a court order. Mom you realy need to get your prioritys straight and look at what is best for your daughter. No matter how much you do not like it father has rights. If you did not want him to have those rights then you should have used your head over three years ago. Quite frankly because of what you have done do not be suprised if he gets standard visits with make up for the stress & delay you have caused....

 

[CarrieWest]

I very seriously doubt he will get any type of stansdard visits right now. He has only had 10 supervised visits and has never apologized to me for the comment he made. Weither it was directe at me or not he should have never said it and because he did he got himself into trouble. He does not have a record for violence. We will see on Monday court is then and I will be back and let everyone know.

 

[Just Blue]

I very seriously doubt he will get any type of stansdard visits right now. He has only had 10 supervised visits and has never apologized to me for the comment he made. Weither it was directe at me or not he should have never said it and because he did he got himself into trouble. He does not have a record for violence. We will see on Monday court is then and I will be back and let everyone know.

You are delusional. He doesn't HAVE to apologize to you...He just has to show he is not a "danger" to the child. This situation happened because of YOUR control issues. Cut the CRAP and THINK of your child and HER best interest!

 

[Ohiogal]

I very seriously doubt he will get any type of stansdard visits right now. He has only had 10 supervised visits and has never apologized to me for the comment he made. Weither it was directe at me or not he should have never said it and because he did he got himself into trouble. He does not have a record for violence. We will see on Monday court is then and I will be back and let everyone know.

You can doubt or not. HOWEVER if the supervised visits have gone well then he WILL get unsupervised visits. YOUR feelings don't matter. He NEVER has to apologize for you. You however have managed to interfere with his time and are trying to throw up road blocks. So are you also posting as the other side?

 

[penelope10]

I find it very curious that both the OP and the ex spelled a particular word in exactly the same way, the word took. Both spelled the word toke. Pretty unusual that both parties would misspell the same word in exactly the same way....

Methinks I smell a rat**************

 

[Just Blue]

I find it very curious that both the OP and the ex spelled a particular word in exactly the same way, the word took. Both spelled the word toke. Pretty unusual that both parties would misspell the same word in exactly the same way....

Methinks I smell a rat**************

No! Really??????????