How much can my parents control me?--I'm 18!

[butterfly girl]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? TX

I turned 18 half a yr ago but am still living at home, working as a teacher at the same school where my parents teach.
My parents have recently forbidden me from having any contact with my boyfriend or his sister [who is my best friend]. My parents simply decided they don't like my friends, so now they're trying to forbid me from contacting them.
I tried contacting both of them, but it made things even worse with my parents and they came down really hard.
But as a legal adult, do I not have full rights to choose who I associate with? I feel like my parents are imprisoning me, and they don't even have good reasons. They just don't "click" with my friends.
Is there anything I can show to my parents proving that legally they do not have a right to do this to me? I may be under their roof, but I am 18 and it's not like I'm making any decisions that are harmful to myself or others. I'm a Christian and so are my friends--I don't use drugs, don't have sex, don't drink--nothing even remotely bad!!
Do I have any options other than moving out of the house? [Leaving home is not financially feasible right now] To what extent do I have to abide by my parents' wishes? As a Christian, I want to act in a manner that is respectful, but this just does not seem right. The two most meaningful friends I have ever had are being kept from me!

 

[stealth2]

As long as you reside under their roof, you follow their rules. If you don't like it, then find a way to move out on your own. Or carry on flouting their rules and find yourself tossed out on the street.

 

[Crazed98]

As a Christian, I want to act in a manner that is respectful, but this just does not seem right. (

Then do as the 10 commandments say honor your mother and father.

 

[butterfly girl]

It's one thing to honor them; it's another to weakly follow every ridiculous demand they make of me.
The Bible also says:
Fathers, do not provoke or irritate or fret your children [do not be hard on them or harass them], lest they become discouraged and sullen and morose and feel inferior and frustrated. [Do not break their spirit]. (Colossians 3:21).

And it's not like this is the only area in which they are controlling my life. It's just that this is the most painful. But in general, they control my entire life. They keep tight reins on where I am at all times. They search through the computer to see what e-mails I've sent, what websites I've been to, etc. They ransack my room to read through my journals. I feel like my parents are communist dictators or something! I have no privacy whatsoever. Part of why I couldn't even leave home if I wanted is because my father controls my bank account and won't let me put it in my name. So basically, if I were to leave home, he could [and would] put a block on the account where I could not access my own savings account [which is entirely money I've earned].

I am not going to resort to anger or to just acting out. THAT would be dishonoring. But there is nothing sinful about showing them their fault. Much of what they have done is unscriptural [not just forbidding me to be with my friends, but also how they've gone about the whole situation]. But my parents cannot be reasoned with on the basis of scripture, so that's why I'm wanting to know from a legal perspective if I can confront them.
It's not like I'm going to take actual legal action against them; I just believe that if I could prove to them that they are acting against the law it would be enough to change their mind.

 

[stealth2]

They are doing nothing illegal. It's their house - they get to set the rules. If you don't like the rules - find a way to move out on your own. You do not get to play adult while still being cared for as a child. Do you pay them rent?

 

[Crazed98]

Just because you have hit 18 that doesn't mean you are responsible. Obviously in the eyes of your parents you are not.

As Stealth said they aren't doing anything illegal they are just being your parents and thats what parents do it doesn't matter how old you are. As long as you are living under their roof they can treat you like this.

 

[butterfly girl]

First, let me say I greatly appreciate your responses. If this is the way it is, then this is the way it is. I do have one more question though...
What about privacy laws? Most of the reason they have decided they don't like my boyfriend and best friend is due to their snooping through my stuff to read my journals, e-mails, etc. Do they even have the right to do that?

 

[Happy Trails]

Part of why I couldn't even leave home if I wanted is because my father controls my bank account and won't let me put it in my name.

Go to the bank and open up your own account. Start saving money so that you will be able to get a place to live.

As far as the privacy issues, it is their home, still nothing illegal.

Evidently they read something about your friends that concerned them.
You want privacy, do as I suggested above.




.

 

[butterfly girl]

Go to the bank and open up your own account.

Evidently they read something about your friends that concerned them.
You want privacy, do as I suggested above.

.

As far as the bank account thing, I can't just give up the many thousands of dollars I have been saving for the past several yrs. I became a manager of a store at age 16, so I have saved up a decent amount. The account I have *is* my own, it's just that my dad has his name on it and I don't know how to go about changing that without him finding out.

The stuff they read about my friends that concerned them is stuff that they took entirely out of context. I can understand how they've taken it, but for one thing, none of it [even if my parents understood in the right context] is worth this fuss they are making. And secondly, my parents refuse to listen to what the actual context of different conversations, thoughts, etc. was.

 

[Hopkins306]

As far as the bank account thing, I can't just give up the many thousands of dollars I have been saving for the past several yrs. I became a manager of a store at age 16, so I have saved up a decent amount. The account I have *is* my own, it's just that my dad has his name on it and I don't know how to go about changing that without him finding out.

The stuff they read about my friends that concerned them is stuff that they took entirely out of context. I can understand how they've taken it, but for one thing, none of it [even if my parents understood in the right context] is worth this fuss they are making. And secondly, my parents refuse to listen to what the actual context of different conversations, thoughts, etc. was.

are you allowed to make withdraws from the account without your father being there? I would just take the money out wait a few days then put it in your own new account.

 

[Happy Trails]

As far as the bank account thing, I can't just give up the many thousands of dollars I have been saving for the past several yrs. I became a manager of a store at age 16, so I have saved up a decent amount. The account I have *is* my own, it's just that my dad has his name on it and I don't know how to go about changing that without him finding out.

The stuff they read about my friends that concerned them is stuff that they took entirely out of context. I can understand how they've taken it, but for one thing, none of it [even if my parents understood in the right context] is worth this fuss they are making. And secondly, my parents refuse to listen to what the actual context of different conversations, thoughts, etc. was.

I was on my teenagers' accounts for many years. The money was always theirs and they were free to withdraw it anytime they wanted. They never took it out without a good reason.

I was merely on it in case they needed me to withdraw money on there behalf etc...

How much money do you currently make?

 

[stealth2]

I'll say it again. As long as you want to act like a child by living under their roof and having them provide for you, you get to be treated as a child. If you want to be treated as an adult, it's time to act like it. You've said that you have several thousand dollars saved up, and you're working (though I can not for the life of me imagine what you're "teaching" as an 18yo HS graduate). Take your money, put it down for an apartment of your own (with or without a roommate) and start acting like the adult you purport to be. In other words - GROW THE HELL UP!

 

[butterfly girl]

If you want to be treated as an adult, it's time to act like it.

I'm trying to act like an adult by not making any hasty decision and trying to live on my own before I'm ready. I'm trying to act like an adult by not causing an unnecessary rift between me and my family. I may not agree with them in everything but I do love them and am not eager to sever my ties with them.
Even if I am an adult, in their eyes I am still their daughter. They would not allow me to leave home. If I leave, it's going to involve running away from home--at least in their eyes. They will not just peaceably let me go. They will go to unbelievable length to make it nigh impossible for me to leave, and if I do succeed in getting away, they will make sure to make my life a nightmare. In which case I'm quite sure they would do something requiring me to take legal action against them, but I really would prefer for it not to come to that.

GROW THE HELL UP!

I am looking for advice here, not to be yelled at thank you very much. Again, I am seeking to be grown up by thinking through my options and looking at what is the wisest way to respond at this point.

 

[butterfly girl]

The money was always theirs and they were free to withdraw it anytime they wanted.

I am aware that I have the legal right to withdraw the money. I'm just saying that due to my parents' over-controlling nature, they routinely check up on my account and would quickly find out if I switched the money into a different account or took my dad's name off of my current one.
The only way I could do such a thing would be if I were to run away from home, and as I said previously, I would really prefer for it not to come to that--not yet at least.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Do I have any options other than moving out of the house? [Leaving home is not financially feasible right now] To what extent do I have to abide by my parents' wishes? As a Christian, I want to act in a manner that is respectful, but this just does not seem right. The two most meaningful friends I have ever had are being kept from me!

I guess being a Christian has changed from the time I was 18.

Now it means sponging off your parents and doing as you please.