Help

[goldengirlblue]

I am not posting medical advice. I am posting from personal experience unlike you. I am actually attempting to try and help this poor woman. What are you doing? Belittling her. Do you even HAVE kids? If not then you are the one that needs to post YOUR qualifications on this matter not me. Everyones solution is to put this kid in jail. Jail IS NOT under any terms going to "help" that will only make the matters worse. He NEEDS mental help. He NEEDS someone he can talk to. He more than likely NEEDS medication. You dont have to be a Dr to figure that out. You just have to get your head out of your a** to see that. He NEEDS anger management. He has a lot of emotional issues that need delt with. He has had too many issues in his life to deal with on his own. Jail is not going to "scare him straight" and any of you that think it will are extremely naive. You obviously know NOTHING about child psychology or the jail system.

I agree.
But like I said in my first post he had a councelor talking to him it seemed not to help.
They try not to but him on medz that be one of there last options not sure why but I will find out.
I want to do the right thing and you all have helped me so far to think on what I can do and what not. I need to think about the other 5 kid's also. his other brother wh o is 11 is trying to protect me all the time and he seems to go after him too he never takes actions but he does threaten him.

 

[stealth2]

So what does DAD actually do? And does the boy live with y'all? Or with Mom? Where is SHE in the picture?

 

[Mommi2fivekids]

You don't KNOW the kid. So you don't KNOW what he needs.

You also don't KNOW BB or his qualifications. Suffice it to say that he's forgotten more about the legal system than you could ever hope to know.

I dont have to know the kid to recomend what he needs. I recomend he needs counseling. I KNOW he doesnt need jail. He needs people to show him that they love him and love him enough to get him the help he needs instead of tossing him into the system which is only going to make everything worse in the long run. Thats your answer....to give up on this kid and let someone else "deal" with him? I am so glad I am not your child. Maybe thats your problem you are so far up into the legal system part of it that you have forgotten what compasion is. Maybe you never had that quality to begin with who knows.

 

[goldengirlblue]

So what does DAD actually do? And does the boy live with y'all? Or with Mom? Where is SHE in the picture?

He grounds him talkes to him
He has spanked him nothign seems to work
WE have washed his mouth out with soap nothing helped we have made him do chorse nothing good to help when he does chorse he starts fighting with me till I tell him I will do it and to go to h is room.
His mom left all the boys a view years back She is lifing with her new b/f in the state of FL.
They see her ones a year when they go down to visit for a couple weeks.
And she does call ones a week at leased.
This year when they went to visit her he flipped on her also but never hit her Not that we know of anyways

 

[goldengirlblue]

I dont have to know the kid to recomend what he needs. I recomend he needs counseling. I KNOW he doesnt need jail. He needs people to show him that they love him and love him enough to get him the help he needs instead of tossing him into the system which is only going to make everything worse in the long run. Thats your answer....to give up on this kid and let someone else "deal" with him? I am so glad I am not your child. Maybe thats your problem you are so far up into the legal system part of it that you have forgotten what compasion is. Maybe you never had that quality to begin with who knows.

Like I said our pediatric doctor has reffered us to councseling and it did not help.we never but him on medz but it has been recommented from the doc.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

I dont have to know the kid to recomend what he needs. I recomend he needs counseling.

you are a liar.

Golden what you need to do is get that boy some psycological help. He needs a counselor and some medication.

Remember that?

I KNOW he doesnt need jail.

Really? Then if you know that, please state for the record the child's name.

He needs people to show him that they love him and love him enough to get him the help he needs instead of tossing him into the system which is only going to make everything worse in the long run.

So, for the last 7 years since the problem manifested itself, he has NOT had this? Basically what you're saying is the child's problems belong at the doorstep of the parents. Good call

Thats your answer....to give up on this kid and let someone else "deal" with him?

not at all. The CORRECT legal response is that this is a well-defined DOMESTIC ABUSE case and the child needs to realize that his actions have consequences, something you would 'solve' with medication and 'LOVE'.

I am so glad I am not your child.

Maybe thats your problem you are so far up into the legal system part of it that you have forgotten what compasion is. Maybe you never had that quality to begin with who knows.

Compassion belongs to those who's lives are threatened by this child's actions. Or do you suppose parents with children who threaten them should wait until they are dead before doing anything?

 

[stealth2]

So you've tried the loving discipline route, and it doesn't work. Why has Dad resisted the doc's suggestion of meds? Why is it difficult to find another counselor?

Seriously - the kid is NOT getting better. SO more serious steps need to be taken.

 

[goldengirlblue]

So you've tried the loving discipline route, and it doesn't work. Why has Dad resisted the doc's suggestion of meds? Why is it difficult to find another counselor?

Seriously - the kid is NOT getting better. SO more serious steps need to be taken.

I relize that
I am not sure why he is so against the med.He said it would be the last thing to do
And like I said it seems like he realy don't know what to do he also don't like to talk about it.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

I relize that
I am not sure why he is so against the med.He said it would be the last thing to do
And like I said it seems like he realy don't know what to do he also don't like to talk about it.

Then it's time for a 'come to jesus' with dad. He has two options:

1. you will file domestic abuse charges the next time the child strikes you or threatens you or a member of the family, or;

2. he does something NOW proactively to diminish the damages.

He either does something or he may face losing custody of the child to the state.

 

[goldengirlblue]

Then it's time for a 'come to jesus' with dad. He has two options:

1. you will file domestic abuse charges the next time the child strikes you or threatens you or a member of the family, or;

2. he does something NOW proactively to diminish the damages.

He either does something or he may face losing custody of the child to the state.

Maybe that is what he is affraid off not sure

Yeah I knwo that and thats why I am reaching out for help
Dad don't seem to want to talk about it
We can talk about everything else but with this he seem to ignore it for some reason

 

[goldengirlblue]

Thank you for stayiing on the subject.

 

[Mommi2fivekids]

I dont know what happened to my last post it appears to have disappeared.

Of course it falls on the doorstep of the parents. Where else is it supposed to fall? Cant we all just agree that this kid needs more help than what he is getting? That Dad needs to step up to the plate and do something about this? That this is not supposed to be STEP moms responsibility? Anyone who thinks that putting this kid in the system is going to help really needs to reexamine themselves. Belize you may know the lawbooks backwards and forwards but that has nothing to do with inteligence. Again I will say that you dont know me. You dont know my credentials. You cant seem to be able to open your eyes enough to comprehend child psychology. This child has been through a lot in his life. Attention is what he is after. Attention is what he is getting, negative or not. This has worked since he was 5 why should he stop now? Now he is bigger and stronger and can do more damage. He is acting out like all teenagers do, and getting away with it. i said nothing about not making this kid deal with the consequences of his actions. Of course he should. Dad needs to kick him in the a**. This child will recieve absolutely no rehabilitation by being in the system. In the long run it is only going to make matters worse. Anyone on here who thinks otherwise is insane. Stop thinking about the legalities of this, who cares? Dad has got to get his head out of his backside and do something about HIS kid. This whole thing about him not wanting to talk about it because it upsets him is probably the main problem in the whole family unit to begin with. Dad has no balls. Can we all agree on that?
OP there are a million counselers out there. Find one that works. It takes time and effort. I realize you have other kids to worry about but you need to realize that by helping this one you are actually helping them all. Kick Dad in his behind and tell him he has got to wake up!!! HIS son is headed for destruction and taking all of you with him. I am not a lawyer and do not claim to be. Amongst a million other things that I am (and I dont need any comments on what others may think they are) formost I am a mother, and not a "supposed" one as stated earlier. I dont care about the legallity of any of it. I care about your family and your son. I dont believe you came here to find out how to throw the kid in jail. I think you came here in desperation for some realistic advice. That is what I am offering. Your child needs help. He needs someone to talk to and lash all his anger to. By all means available find it!

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Children younger than this have killed before. They will kill again.

So, your answer is a hug and drugs. 'Nuff said.

And you're right, I don't know. In the same way that you don't know this set of parents, OR this child. So your blatant statment that the child needs medication is so irresponsible that if you did such in 'real' life to any client or chld of mine, I would have you answering to a judge in a heartbeat, if not criminal charges.

If you wish to persist in the 'give the kid a hug' then go to www.oprah.com where you belong. This is a LEGAL site. PERIOD. LEGAL ADVICE. PERIOD!

 

[Mommi2fivekids]

You just proved the stereotype that lawyers are slime and not human. If you even are a lawyer.
You cannot press charges on me for stating an opinion on anything...read your lawbooks. I have every right to say that this child probably needs medication.
You are such a sad excuse of a person IN MY OPINION as well as others on here. Maybe if you had taken your head out of your a** long ago instead of being such a jerk you wouldnt have to have your come to Jesus meetings with an EX you could actually find someone new or hey you might have actually been able to keep the one you had. You have major maturity issues grow up! Again I will say that if you are not here to actually help than go away. This poster has already thanked me and the other poster on the other thread has thanked me, has anyone thanked you on either post. Of course not because all you want to do is argue with me like a 6 yr old. I will be more than happy to argue with you anywhere else and on any topic of your desire all day if need be. Since that is all you seem to want to do today. Let me know where ok.

 

[stealth2]

Maybe that is what he is affraid off not sure

Yeah I knwo that and thats why I am reaching out for help
Dad don't seem to want to talk about it
We can talk about everything else but with this he seem to ignore it for some reason

Then you need to use those "hard words" with him. If necessary, you will leave with your own kids, the child you share, and you will encourage his family to seek custody of his other child so that THOSE kids do not suffer for his lack of action.