Help

[goldengirlblue]

I dont know what happened to my last post it appears to have disappeared.

Of course it falls on the doorstep of the parents. Where else is it supposed to fall? Cant we all just agree that this kid needs more help than what he is getting? That Dad needs to step up to the plate and do something about this? That this is not supposed to be STEP moms responsibility? Anyone who thinks that putting this kid in the system is going to help really needs to reexamine themselves. Belize you may know the lawbooks backwards and forwards but that has nothing to do with inteligence. Again I will say that you dont know me. You dont know my credentials. You cant seem to be able to open your eyes enough to comprehend child psychology. This child has been through a lot in his life. Attention is what he is after. Attention is what he is getting, negative or not. This has worked since he was 5 why should he stop now? Now he is bigger and stronger and can do more damage. He is acting out like all teenagers do, and getting away with it. i said nothing about not making this kid deal with the consequences of his actions. Of course he should. Dad needs to kick him in the a**. This child will recieve absolutely no rehabilitation by being in the system. In the long run it is only going to make matters worse. Anyone on here who thinks otherwise is insane. Stop thinking about the legalities of this, who cares? Dad has got to get his head out of his backside and do something about HIS kid. This whole thing about him not wanting to talk about it because it upsets him is probably the main problem in the whole family unit to begin with. Dad has no balls. Can we all agree on that?
OP there are a million counselers out there. Find one that works. It takes time and effort. I realize you have other kids to worry about but you need to realize that by helping this one you are actually helping them all. Kick Dad in his behind and tell him he has got to wake up!!! HIS son is headed for destruction and taking all of you with him. I am not a lawyer and do not claim to be. Amongst a million other things that I am (and I dont need any comments on what others may think they are) formost I am a mother, and not a "supposed" one as stated earlier. I dont care about the legallity of any of it. I care about your family and your son. I dont believe you came here to find out how to throw the kid in jail. I think you came here in desperation for some realistic advice. That is what I am offering. Your child needs help. He needs someone to talk to and lash all his anger to. By all means available find it!

And I will find all the help he needs
Right now I am to the point were I dont want to be around him at all
I dont want him to come and play with the baby or other kid's I am affraid he is going to hurt them.
Right now I am just realy upset and don't know how to deal with all this
I never had to bevore and I dont want to lsoe my own children over this.
And no I did not come here to find out how to throw him in jail.

 

[stealth2]

He is acting out like all teenagers do, and getting away with it.

Bull + sh*t. All teens do NOT act out this way. Neither of mine do. Do both have their moments? Sure. Do they have "temper tantrums"? Sure. But never have either raised a hand in anger towards one another, myself or anyone else. Why? They have had it drummed into them that it is an unacceptable behavior.

 

[goldengirlblue]

Bull + sh*t. All teens do NOT act out this way. Neither of mine do. Do both have their moments? Sure. Do they have "temper tantrums"? Sure. But never have either raised a hand in anger towards one another, myself or anyone else. Why? They have had it drummed into them that it is an unacceptable behavior.

I agree not all teens do that plus he has been like this since he is 5 years old.
But they are alot of teens that act out
The bad thing is he just turned 12 and is not even a teen yet. I am not willing to find out what he is going to be like when he is older.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

You just proved the stereotype that lawyers are slime and not human. If you even are a lawyer.
You cannot press charges on me for stating an opinion on anything...read your lawbooks. I have every right to say that this child probably needs medication.

Which, you fool, is NOT what you said. Shall I post the exact words again?

You are such a sad excuse of a person IN MY OPINION as well as others on here.

Yep, idiots and criminals all hate me. which makes me just stay up at night.

Maybe if you had taken your head out of your a** long ago instead of being such a jerk you wouldnt have to have your come to Jesus meetings with an EX you could actually find someone new or hey you might have actually been able to keep the one you had.

No thank you, she was an too much like you and those types of women I can rent by the hour.

You have major maturity issues grow up!

See? Again you make assumptions based on nothing but words on a computer screen. Must be nice having so much knowledge without facts.

Again I will say that if you are not here to actually help than go away.

Oh I am here to help. In keeping with the purpose of this forum which is LEGAL help. So, what is your LEGAL advice to this poster?

This poster has already thanked me and the other poster on the other thread has thanked me, has anyone thanked you on either post. Of course not because all you want to do is argue with me like a 6 yr old. I will be more than happy to argue with you anywhere else and on any topic of your desire all day if need be. Since that is all you seem to want to do today. Let me know where ok.

I don't argue with mentally challenged fools. Of course someone will thank you. There are enough people who come here looking for the answer they WANT to hear that when an incompetent fool comes along to agree with them they are all too ready to thank them.

Now let's see if you can give COMPETENT LEGAL Advice? Even if you don't get a thank you.

 

[Mommi2fivekids]

Bull + sh*t. All teens do NOT act out this way. Neither of mine do. Do both have their moments? Sure. Do they have "temper tantrums"? Sure. But never have either raised a hand in anger towards one another, myself or anyone else. Why? They have had it drummed into them that it is an unacceptable behavior.

Exactly my point! What I said is all teens act out. I didnt say all teens beat up the family. None of mine ever have ever acted this way either and I dare them to try. I would knock them flat. (figuratively not literally) Also there must be a good support system in your house and the two of you are a team. This is obviously not the case in this family. You also have to realize that this child has been getting away with this behavior since he was 5. Nobody did anything about it then and it got worse naturally. They just expect him to get better on his own and by his own wil. Thats not going to happen unless they do something adn find out and deal with the root of it all. This child has issues, and rightfully so. All I am trying to do is to get them to realize that and do something about it. Ignoring it and locking him in his room or calling the law isnt going to do it. Not until they form a unit together and deal with the situation. Dad is the main problem. His "lets not talk about it" attitude is destroying them all...or will.

 

[Mommi2fivekids]

No thank you, she was an too much like you and those types of women I can rent by the hour.

What she had an opinion that differed from yours? Hmm imagine that. First off Belize you couldnt afford me and Second there is no way in hell you could handle me. You would definately be singing a whole other song than you are now

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Exactly my point! What I said is all teens act out. I didnt say all teens beat up the family. None of mine ever have ever acted this way either and I dare them to try. I would knock them flat. (figuratively not literally) Also there must be a good support system in your house and the two of you are a team. This is obviously not the case in this family. You also have to realize that this child has been getting away with this behavior since he was 5. Nobody did anything about it then and it got worse naturally. They just expect him to get better on his own and by his own wil. Thats not going to happen unless they do something adn find out and deal with the root of it all. This child has issues, and rightfully so. All I am trying to do is to get them to realize that and do something about it. Ignoring it and locking him in his room or calling the law isnt going to do it. Not until they form a unit together and deal with the situation. Dad is the main problem. His "lets not talk about it" attitude is destroying them all...or will.

I'm getting dizzy trying to wade through all of the assumptions.....

Such judgemental crap doesn't belong on a LEGAL advice site.

My favorite is the child 'rightfully so...' has issues. I guess I missed that part of the Bill of Rights...

 

[goldengirlblue]

I'm getting dizzy trying to wade through all of the assumptions.....

Such judgemental crap doesn't belong on a LEGAL advice site.

My favorite is the child 'rightfully so...' has issues. I guess I missed that part of the Bill of Rights...

Wow you both sound like you ex's or something.
I will go search for more help with the doctor and see what else we can do.
Hopfely I can get the help he need's

 

[Ohiogal]

Thank you for you reply.
He does not do it every day.But every now and then he does.
When telling my husband that I wil call the police he said I can't do that.
MAybe he has more hard feelings about this I am not sure

Actually you CAN call the police and report the child for domestic violence. Where I live they have successfully prosecuted children as young as 9 for domestic violence upon a parent. Every now and then? The boy has issues. Call the police the next time he acts physically towards you or one of his siblings and is out of control.

 

[Ohiogal]

I am not posting medical advice. I am posting from personal experience unlike you. I am actually attempting to try and help this poor woman. What are you doing? Belittling her. Do you even HAVE kids? If not then you are the one that needs to post YOUR qualifications on this matter not me. Everyones solution is to put this kid in jail. Jail IS NOT under any terms going to "help" that will only make the matters worse. He NEEDS mental help. He NEEDS someone he can talk to. He more than likely NEEDS medication. You dont have to be a Dr to figure that out. You just have to get your head out of your a** to see that. He NEEDS anger management. He has a lot of emotional issues that need delt with. He has had too many issues in his life to deal with on his own. Jail is not going to "scare him straight" and any of you that think it will are extremely naive. You obviously know NOTHING about child psychology or the jail system.

You need to back off Mommi. BB's qualifications are of the legal variety and this is a LEGAL website. The child needs jail and deserves jail before he seriously hurts or maims someone. So you need to back off and post your qualifications before you get called upon it. We seniors know the qualifications of the other senior members. You know nothing.

 

[Ohiogal]

You just proved the stereotype that lawyers are slime and not human. If you even are a lawyer.
You cannot press charges on me for stating an opinion on anything...read your lawbooks. I have every right to say that this child probably needs medication.
You are such a sad excuse of a person IN MY OPINION as well as others on here. Maybe if you had taken your head out of your a** long ago instead of being such a jerk you wouldnt have to have your come to Jesus meetings with an EX you could actually find someone new or hey you might have actually been able to keep the one you had. You have major maturity issues grow up! Again I will say that if you are not here to actually help than go away. This poster has already thanked me and the other poster on the other thread has thanked me, has anyone thanked you on either post. Of course not because all you want to do is argue with me like a 6 yr old. I will be more than happy to argue with you anywhere else and on any topic of your desire all day if need be. Since that is all you seem to want to do today. Let me know where ok.

YOu need to learn to comprehend. He said if you were a medical professional suggesting that to a person you have never met who was his client he would have brought up on charges and in front of a judge -- which he could do because that would be neglience, malpractice and a variety of other things. YOU again need to shut up and learn and listen.

 

[CdwJava]

How about a practical scenario that I dealt with just today ... 14-year-old teenage GIRL with anger problems (bipolar disorder and a problem with meth. as well) ... she is in counseling, sees a doctor, and gets hugs and drugs regularly but she still assaults mom. Mom has a very serious medical condition and is deteriorating due to the continued abuse. Thus far her ONLY respite is when the child either runs away (and does drugs) or goes to the hall (where she stays for MAYBE a day or two).

I can relate stories of younger children (9+) attacking parents and siblings with knives, broken glass, guns, and even trying to burn down a house to kill their parents! Sometimes the ONLY alternative is the criminal justice angle.

Mommi, what you do not understand is that the juvenile justice system is still focused on rehabilitation. Very often resources that can deal with the situation are made available ONLY through the court system due to limited resources or money issues. There are times when gettin "in to the system" is not only the best way to resolve an issue, but it can sometimes be the ONLY way to resolve the problem.

I, for one, am not willing to risk the safety of goldengirl or the other children just to coddle this loose cannon. Do you write off the safety and wellbeing of everyone else just to feel good about the treatment of the one who obviously has some problems? Do you risk everyone else's lives for this misguded sense of satisfaction? I hope not!

Safety first.

If the police are not involved, then when - and I say WHEN, not IF - this child goes off and does some serious harm to another child, the authorities will get involved and mom and dad will likely lose all the children for failing to take reasonable and prudent action to protect their children. They could also face criminal child neglect charges if they fail to take reasonable action to protect their children.

Yes, parents DO go to jail for things like this and kids DO get taken away ... I know ... I have done both.

- Carl

 

[Ohiogal]

And to add to what Cdw states: I am one of those people that stand in the courtroom trying to explain to mom or dad why they lost their child and what they need to do to get that child back. You want to talk about the fact that this child needs coddling -- I will point you to the fact that when this child hurts a neighbor kid or the neighbors call the cops because he hurt someone else in the family, all the children can be removed under local JR 6 -- and mom and dad will have no recourse then. The child who committed the crime goes to jail and the kids who were victims go to foster care because mom and dad failed to protect. And mom and dad then spend the next year or so jumping through hoops trying to prove that they are fit and deserve to parent their children.
Counseling? NO. Jail is what this child needs -- just like BB said. Like Cdw said. And like various others have said.

 

[Eekamouse]

Maybe I'm confusing her with someone else but doesn't this mommy person not even have custody of her kids anyway so why should she be offering advice to other parents? It's not like she's a stellar parenting example.

 

[ceara19]

Maybe I'm confusing her with someone else but doesn't this mommy person not even have custody of her kids anyway so why should she be offering advice to other parents? It's not like she's a stellar parenting example.

I'm not sure about the custody status of her kids, but she has some serious legal problems of her own she needs to deal with.
https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=339374