Am I required to call NCP for HIS visitation?

[mrsgaines654]

What is the name of your state? Texas

My ex and I have been divorced for several years now. When we divorced, the child support and visitation was set in our divorce papers. I had trouble a year or so ago enforcing the child support, and filed a case with the Attorney General. They subsequently deducted his income tax return this year for his back pay. This sent him into a fit. He threatned to "give up his rights if I don't ""forgive"" the debt" Of course he never did that. He has been even more difficult to deal with since then, but he was always a pain to deal with.

He NEVER calls her. If she wants to see him, she has to call him (which I never impeed). I feel like that is her father, and she deserves to have him in her life. For the last 8 years, I have bent over backwards for him to see her. If he wanted to see her on a weekend that wasn't court ordered, I would do that. About 3 years ago, I moved about 3 hours away. I realize that I created the distance, so I made special arrangements every time he wanted to see her, which wasn't often, and only if she called him first.

Well, this summer, she called him about 3 weeks before school was supposed to start. Of course he wanted her to come visit, so we did. The arrangement was that she would stay for 1 week and then come home. Well, at the end of the week, I called to see what time he wanted to meet, and he said that my daughter didn't want to come home, and he wasn't bringing her until she was ready. When I spoke to her, I explained to her, that we agreed that she would stay a week and come home. She got mad, and said that I was trying to "ruin all her fun, and she didn't ever want to come home". I spoke back with her father, and explained that school started in a week, and she needed to come home. Anyway, we ended up picking her up the day before school started.

I am truly sick of bending over backwards only to be "slapped in the face". My question is this, does my ex have to initiate contact if he wants to utilize his visitation rights? In otherwords, if he never calls, am I in violation if I don't call him on his weekends, and therefore, my daughter doesn't go see him?

I apologize for the lengthly post, but I felt like some history was necessary. I appriecate any help that anyone can provide.What is the name of your state?

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

If you are asking if you need to call him to initiate his visitation, the answer is no. You do however need to make her available for his visitation, in other words, you need to follow your court orders.

 

[Zephyr]

how is his parenting time laid out in the court order? transportation and exchanges?

 

[mrsgaines654]

He is supposed to pick her up at my house (which has changed since the order) at 6:00pm on every 1st, 3rd, and 5th, Friday of the month. He is supposed to return her to my house at 6:00pm on Sunday of the same weekends.

As I said, I have moved since this order, but does he still have to come to my house? I realize that I created the distance, and if he were to push it that could change, but can I follow the court order as stated until he does?

I know that I have to make her available, but if he never calls.....then what? Lets say that he never again calls. Am I in the wrong legally, if she never went back down there?

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

You need to make her available on those dates.

 

[mrsgaines654]

She is available, but what if he never shows up or calls, then what????

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

She is available, but what if he never shows up or calls, then what????

You then have a nice weekend with her.

 

[mrsgaines654]

I just wanted to make sure that I would not get in trouble. Thank you very much!!

 

[ceara19]

I just wanted to make sure that I would not get in trouble. Thank you very much!!

It sounds as if you have the Standard Order of Possession for Texas. If so, you need to read down a little farther in the order. The SOP at the time specifically states that when parents live more then 100 miles apart, the parties are to meet halfway. This means that you would have to have your daughter available at the court ordered time at the halfway point until/unless you have the court order modified.

 

[jslopez711]

The SOP at the time specifically states that when parents live more then 100 miles apart, the parties are to meet halfway. This means that you would have to have your daughter available at the court ordered time at the halfway point until/unless you have the court order modified.

Ceara, this was SOP prior to 2002. After 2002 NCP is to do the transporting. Unless of course, CP moved.
So in short, she has to make the child available. Now that doesn't mean OP is hostage at the house for the time, but on that day, just stay there and then have a pleasant weekend/summer/whatever the day after.
The visitation guidelines must be followed within reason with regards to the actual time of exchange. It is not reasonable for OP to sit around and wait all weekend long in the house. If a limitation is not specifically stated in the court order then yes, there could be some stink. But again, reasonable comes to my head.

The best advice you your situation OP is to modify and add a limitation to how long you have to wait for NCP to show up.

Best.

 

[mrsgaines654]

So you are saying that I have to drive to the meeting place no matter whether he calls to visit her or not?

 

[mrsgaines654]

Ceara, this was SOP prior to 2002. After 2002 NCP is to do the transporting. Unless of course, CP moved.
So in short, she has to make the child available. Now that doesn't mean OP is hostage at the house for the time, but on that day, just stay there and then have a pleasant weekend/summer/whatever the day after.
The visitation guidelines must be followed within reason with regards to the actual time of exchange. It is not reasonable for OP to sit around and wait all weekend long in the house. If a limitation is not specifically stated in the court order then yes, there could be some stink. But again, reasonable comes to my head.

The best advice you your situation OP is to modify and add a limitation to how long you have to wait for NCP to show up.

Best.

Thank you so much for the advice, however, I (CP) did move, and it is in our court order they way Ceara stated. I am now wondering if I am supposed to drive 100+ miles every other Friday regardless of whether he calls or not. I guess that is what making her available is, but it seems like a lot of wasted driving. Thanks again!!!!

 

[Zigner]

Thank you so much for the advice, however, I (CP) did move, and it is in our court order they way Ceara stated. I am now wondering if I am supposed to drive 100+ miles every other Friday regardless of whether he calls or not. I guess that is what making her available is, but it seems like a lot of wasted driving. Thanks again!!!!

In a perfect world, what would happen is that you would show up at the agreed upon halfway point at least "a few times". Have some documentation if you can (food receipts - gas receipts etc). If the ex does not show up, then you would need to go to court for modification to your orders.

 

[ceara19]

Thank you so much for the advice, however, I (CP) did move, and it is in our court order they way Ceara stated. I am now wondering if I am supposed to drive 100+ miles every other Friday regardless of whether he calls or not. I guess that is what making her available is, but it seems like a lot of wasted driving. Thanks again!!!!

Since he doesn't regularly utilize his visitation, it should be fairly simple to modify your court order to stipulate that dad has to call you no less then 72 hours before visitation is to take place if he plans on exercising his visitation.

 

[mrsgaines654]

I can do that. Thanks everyone for the advice. I truly appriecate it!!!!