Thanksgiving vacation for CP

[onmytime]

What is the name of your state? AZ

I have a simple, not the most exciting question but I would still like some advice in the right direction.

This year I have Thanksgiving. I have also chosen to use one of my court ordered weeks of vacation (we get 7days) during the week of Thanksgiving. Nov 20-26. I am the CP. The weekend after Thanksgiving happens to be the NCP's weekend, however because of my vacation I will be "using" that weekend so to speak.

The NCP wants make up time. I have agreed to that. My mother says just cut my vacation short and let NCP come and get the child for his weekend. I agree that would be easy. However I don't want to set a precedent for doing things this way.

In addition I have told the NCP to go through our attorneys to schedule this make up time due to his threatening and unpredictable actions that have taken place in front of my children in the past.

Is it wrong of me to have NCP go through attorney to schedule make up time or visitation outside of the court order?

Also please offer some advice on how some of you guys handle vacation. If it says 7 days doesn't that mean 7 days no matter when you decide to take it?

Simple but NCP is making it difficult.

 

[fairisfair]

it is impossible to tell without having the exact wording of your parenting plan.

From what you posted, it sounds as if YOU are imposing on NCP's time. not the other way around. and yet you want to make it difficult for NCP to schedule the makeup time.
not smart.

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state? AZ

I have a simple, not the most exciting question but I would still like some advice in the right direction.

This year I have Thanksgiving. I have also chosen to use one of my court ordered weeks of vacation (we get 7days) during the week of Thanksgiving. Nov 20-26. I am the CP. The weekend after Thanksgiving happens to be the NCP's weekend, however because of my vacation I will be "using" that weekend so to speak.

The NCP wants make up time. I have agreed to that. My mother says just cut my vacation short and let NCP come and get the child for his weekend. I agree that would be easy. However I don't want to set a precedent for doing things this way.

In addition I have told the NCP to go through our attorneys to schedule this make up time due to his threatening and unpredictable actions that have taken place in front of my children in the past.

Is it wrong of me to have NCP go through attorney to schedule make up time or visitation outside of the court order?

Also please offer some advice on how some of you guys handle vacation. If it says 7 days doesn't that mean 7 days no matter when you decide to take it?

Simple but NCP is making it difficult.

It would depend upon how, exactly, the visitation order is written. Absent that info, I don't know what to tell you.

I do think it is "wrong" of you to send NCP to court for a simple time swap. That's overbearing of you. IMHO.

 

[onmytime]

it is impossible to tell without having the exact wording of your parenting plan.

From what you posted, it sounds as if YOU are imposing on NCP's time. not the other way around. and yet you want to make it difficult for NCP to schedule the makeup time.
not smart.

Our parenting plan states that we get 7 days of vacation that can be taken at any time (not according to scheduled parenting weekends). We previously both agreed that vacation doesn't necessarily fall on set parenting weekends and we would do make up time if necessary.

However if you are stating that I should forgo my vacation to make it convenient for his weekend that is something to take into consideration. This is the type of input I'm looking for. Different opinions.

 

[Ohiogal]

Our parenting plan states that we get 7 days of vacation that can be taken at any time (not according to scheduled parenting weekends). We previously both agreed that vacation doesn't necessarily fall on set parenting weekends and we would do make up time if necessary.

However if you are stating that I should forgo my vacation to make it convenient for his weekend that is something to take into consideration. This is the type of input I'm looking for. Different opinions.

Whose holiday is Thanksgiving?

 

[onmytime]

Whose holiday is Thanksgiving?

My holiday.

 

[fairisfair]

Our parenting plan states that we get 7 days of vacation that can be taken at any time (not according to scheduled parenting weekends). We previously both agreed that vacation doesn't necessarily fall on set parenting weekends and we would do make up time if necessary.

However if you are stating that I should forgo my vacation to make it convenient for his weekend that is something to take into consideration. This is the type of input I'm looking for. Different opinions.

I think that NCP could quite easily argue that your week overlaps your holiday and that it should be taken as 7 days total, not 11. Therefore your "week" would only run from Sat. to Sat. (or even worse from Fri to Fri) NCP would still get the children for the scheduled weekend. Besides, if you have the children for the Holiday, AND for the week, is it really that much that NCP get them either for the scheduled weekend or for a makeup period that is given graciously, not in a court battle??

 

[onmytime]

It would depend upon how, exactly, the visitation order is written. Absent that info, I don't know what to tell you.

I do think it is "wrong" of you to send NCP to court for a simple time swap. That's overbearing of you. IMHO.

I'm not sending the NCP to "court". I'm asking that he go through our attorneys to arrange parenting time "outside of the court order" due to his behavior in the past. I don't want to be accused of being at his house picking up our child and he calls the police. I know that seems a bit dramatic but he's done it before. And he's always in the wrong. I'm just tired of the drama and would like to have some form of documentation.

I hope that doesn't sound unreasonable.

 

[onmytime]

I think that NCP could quite easily argue that your week overlaps your holiday and that it should be taken as 7 days total, not 11. Therefore your "week" would only run from Sat. to Sat. (or even worse from Fri to Fri) NCP would still get the children for the scheduled weekend. Besides, if you have the children for the Holiday, AND for the week, is it really that much that NCP get them either for the scheduled weekend or for a makeup period that is given graciously, not in a court battle??

I'm not taking anyone to court over this. I'm just asking for him to go through his attorney.

 

[fairisfair]

I'm not taking anyone to court over this. I'm just asking for him to go through his attorney.

understood, and none of us are in your shoes, you know better what is needed to accomplish things in a civil manner.

 

[stealth2]

Does this "vacation" require the kids to miss school?

 

[Ohiogal]

I think that NCP could quite easily argue that your week overlaps your holiday and that it should be taken as 7 days total, not 11. Therefore your "week" would only run from Sat. to Sat. (or even worse from Fri to Fri) NCP would still get the children for the scheduled weekend. Besides, if you have the children for the Holiday, AND for the week, is it really that much that NCP get them either for the scheduled weekend or for a makeup period that is given graciously, not in a court battle??

Saturday to Saturday is EIGHT (8) days. Saturday Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday. So that would be against the court order.
OP you can take seven days but that doesn't mean you get two whole weekends. Rather ifyou come back on Saturday then NCP could get the rest of the time. Of course you have allowed makeup time -- making him go through attorneys is ridiculous. You are being difficult. There are better ways of reaching an agreement. You can ask him to give you a certain amount of notice to guarantee him his make up time (in other words NCP gets to dictate when his makeup time takes place provided he gives you 30 days or 2 weeks or whatever notice) or you can ask him to give you a list of three times he would like to utilize and have you choose one of the three times he suggests.

 

[LdiJ]

I don't necessarily disagree with any of the answers that you have recieved here...but if you are each untitled to a certain amount of "vacation" time, that normally doesn't require either of you to provide makeup time to the other parent. Normally vacation time would superceed regular visitation/parenting time. That would apply equally to both of you.

Its also not necessarily wrong to ask the other parent to go through the attorneys to schedule things like makeup time. Its a bit foolish in most scenarios because it costs both of you unnecessary legal bucks...but its not necessarily wrong, depending on the overall circumstances.

 

[onmytime]

Does this "vacation" require the kids to miss school?

No school will be missed. I appreciate everyone's feedback. I know that such simplistic matters sometimes turn ugly and I just wanted to make sure either I'm being reasonable or am I making matters worse.

My ex is a very difficult person and emotionally abusive. I am often called names and I am constantly being belittled. So I'm trying to find a way to hold my ground without being difficult but at the same time not bending to the point I feel walked over.

I have opted to send him an email stating he can pick our child up for his normal scheduled weekend and I will cut my vacation short. Although I know what is next .....he will email me saying he already has plans for that weekend, I believe I did what was right.

At least thanks to the adivce here, I had the chance to I notify him 3 weeks ahead of time (just like our court order says).

Thanks again.

 

[fairisfair]

No school will be missed. I appreciate everyone's feedback. I know that such simplistic matters sometimes turn ugly and I just wanted to make sure either I'm being reasonable or am I making matters worse.

My ex is a very difficult person and emotionally abusive. I am often called names and I am constantly being belittled. So I'm trying to find a way to hold my ground without being difficult but at the same time not bending to the point I feel walked over.

I have opted to send him an email stating he can pick our child up for his normal scheduled weekend and I will cut my vacation short. Although I know what is next .....he will email me saying he already has plans for that weekend, I believe I did what was right.

At least thanks to the adivce here, I had the chance to I notify him 3 weeks ahead of time (just like our court order says).

Thanks again.

Then tough luck for him, he misses his time. Have a nice time.