Help!!

[wwax]

What is the name of your state? TENNESSEE

ME AND MY HUSBAND ARE HAVING REALLY BAD PROBLEMS. WE HAVE A 4 YR OLD CHILD AND I WANT TO LEAVE, BUT I KNOW THERE WILL BE AFIGHT IF I TRY TO TAKE MY SON WITH ME. DOES NAYONE KNOW MY LEGAL RIGHTS TO THIS MATTER?

 

[CJane]

You have the right to turn caps off.

You have the right to leave and take your son.

You have the right to file for custody/divorce.

He has the same rights.

 

[wwax]

But he has threatened me if I ever was to do this.

 

[Silverplum]

But he has threatened me if I ever was to do this.

Threatened you with what?

 

[wwax]

He told me that if I ever took his son that he would come to my mom's (where I would go) and shoot the place up. I don't want my mom and dad involved, but I know that if I ever left that all hell would break loose.

 

[Silverplum]

He told me that if I ever took his son that he would come to my mom's (where I would go) and shoot the place up. I don't want my mom and dad involved, but I know that if I ever left that all hell would break loose.

You probably need to contact a local women's shelter for advice and information. You probably also should warn your parents that you are going to piss off the father of your child and that they may want to seek shelter, themselves.

 

[CJane]

But he has threatened me if I ever was to do this.

Well, you also have the right to seek shelter, file for a restraining order, etc.

He has the same rights.

He has the right not to let you have your son.

Is he abusive (physically) toward either you or the child?

If yes, do you have police/medical reports to back up your claims?

 

[wwax]

Not Physically, But Plenty Mentally. Only To Me Though And Not Our Son. Okay You Say He Has Rights Too, But I Don't Want To Leave There Without My Son. I Know He Feels The Same Way About Him As I Do. I Am Stuck Between A Rock And A Hardshell And I Don't Know What To Do. No, The Police Has Never Been Contacted. But Like I Said It Is Not Physical Only Mental!!

 

[CJane]

Not Physically, But Plenty Mentally. Only To Me Though And Not Our Son. Okay You Say He Has Rights Too, But I Don't Want To Leave There Without My Son. I Know He Feels The Same Way About Him As I Do. I Am Stuck Between A Rock And A Hardshell And I Don't Know What To Do. No, The Police Has Never Been Contacted. But Like I Said It Is Not Physical Only Mental!!

Umm... have you attempted counseling? Either for yourself or as a family?

If you're going to leave and take the child, you need to be aware that he has EXACTLY the same rights to the child that you do. Which means that he can pick the child up from daycare, etc. It also means that he can take the child and leave YOU whenever he wants. Which very neatly places the child in the middle.

My suggestion would be to file for divorce/custody/visitation and THEN leave before he's served.

Are you capable of supporting yourself and your son w/out his help?

 

[wwax]

Yes, I can. So you mean go file for divorce and custody before I ever move out? While we were arguing yesterday he mentioned joint cutody. Him have him one week and then me the next and then neither one of us pay child support. I think that would be too much strain on my son. My husband has already talked to him against leaving with me to go stay at my mom's. My son has told me that he wants to stay with his daddy, but he is only 4. He does not know what he wants right now. He has already heard to much about the sitaution we are in and I am not happy. I know for a fact I would be happier if I left.

 

[CJane]

Him have him one week and then me the next and then neither one of us pay child support.

Doesn't sound like a man who's going to kill you if you leave.

I think that would be too much strain on my son.

Well, the thing about getting divorced is it's no longer up to you to decide what's best for your child... it's up to the court. And shared custody when the parents live close together is becoming more and more common, and is less of a strain on children than many parents like to believe. It IS a strain on the parents.

I know for a fact I would be happier if I left.

Good for you.

 

[wwax]

Thank you for you input. You have helped me out somewhat on what I should do. I kinda know more about my options now.

 

[LdiJ]

Not Physically, But Plenty Mentally. Only To Me Though And Not Our Son. Okay You Say He Has Rights Too, But I Don't Want To Leave There Without My Son. I Know He Feels The Same Way About Him As I Do. I Am Stuck Between A Rock And A Hardshell And I Don't Know What To Do. No, The Police Has Never Been Contacted. But Like I Said It Is Not Physical Only Mental!!

There goes the every word capitalized bit again...that's a clue folks.