Visitation restrictions

[Kalso]

So you see the children at your old apartment and NOT at the home you share with your fiance? If that's the case, why is the girlfriend an issue at all?

She hasn't accompanied me yet on my visitation weekends. This weekend will be the first time that she will do so. She and I will both be going up to the apartment for my visitation. Based on my feelings, and on advice from here and other places, I haven't wanted to introduce her until my 3-year old has had time to adjust to the divorce situation.

Personally, I agree with you. There is no issue, only that my ex is making it an issue on the grounds that she doesn't know my fiancee, and therefore feels she has the right to deny my access to them.

 

[ceara19]

She hasn't accompanied me yet on my visitation weekends. This weekend will be the first time that she will do so. She and I will both be going up to the apartment for my visitation. Based on my feelings, and on advice from here and other places, I haven't wanted to introduce her until my 3-year old has had time to adjust to the divorce situation.

Personally, I agree with you. There is no issue, only that my ex is making it an issue on the grounds that she doesn't know my fiancee, and therefore feels she has the right to deny my access to them.

Like I told you when you first started this thread, your ex has no LEGAL right to interfere with your visitation. However, as a PARENT (note, I didn't say MOTHER), I would have a serious problem with MY 8 month old baby, who cannot speak up for his or herself, being left with ANY person that I didn't know, no matter who that person may be. I would have a very hard time trusting YOUR opinion of the person because of the poor judgement you exhibited by jumping right into a new relationship before the divorce was even final.

The fact that your girlfriend is a mother herself, she shouldn't have a problem understanding why mom is concerned. I have also been a step parent and as such, I refused to be ALONE with my step daughter until her MOTHER was comfortable with the situation. There was NO WAY I was going to open myself up to any accusations from mom. Mom could SAY your girlfriend is hurting the child when she is alone with her. Even though she couldn't PROVE that it was true, the accusation alone can cause substantial and permanent harm to a person's reputation. Is that something you are willing to do to a person you claim to "love"?

While, with a great attorney and enough money, anything is POSSIBLE, your ex has virtually no chance of getting the court to take action on this matter.

 

[jorton56]

Backbone Issues

"She doesn't have a right. Dude I practice domestic relations/family/juvenile law in Ohio courts. She does not have the right to restrict your visitation at all. The only one that can restrict your visitation legally is the COURT! Now grow some balls and tell your ex that you will be taking the children with you on your time and she doesn't have a say so (unless of course it is necessary per the court order or law-- such as travel). I hate stupid controlling parents. But they make my job so easy in court IF they are not my clients."

This is just one of the answers that were posted to you and yet here you are 2 mos later telling us that she is still threatening you in whole new ways. Why have you not followed through w/demanding your rights through the court? I can understand if you are trying to show her that you value her opinion as the mother of these babies but to continue to let your rights be trampled on by her unreasonably and to keep coming back to this forum and crying about it is showing that you don't really want the advice given you. Work it out but for crying out loud, make a positive step to show that you mean business, the business of being a Dad.

PS, I really wanted to quote the other one w/the "B" word but thought I should be nice...

 

[Kalso]

Again, I really wasn't asking for more advice. I was looking for an attorney in the event she takes me back to court. I've told her that if she wants to take me to court, I'll go. I also told her that if she wants to deny me my children, I will be filing a contempt of court charge.

My initial post this time was an inquiry about finding a lawyer, but I didn't know if this forum was an appropriate place, but since this was where I received my legal advice, I thought it a good place to start.

The rest was clearing up the misunderstanding about the roommate situation from 2 months ago being confused with the current fiance situation.

So, as I originally (again this time) asked, any advice on finding a lawyer? Is this an appropriate place to ask if anyone here is a lawyer, available, and wants to talk about my case? Again, feel free to contact me using the information in my profile.

 

[stealth2]

If the weather's nice enough for you to be outside with the 3yo, why can't the little one be outside as well? W/your g/f keeping an eye on her...

 

[Ohiogal]

Like I told you when you first started this thread, your ex has no LEGAL right to interfere with your visitation. However, as a PARENT (note, I didn't say MOTHER), I would have a serious problem with MY 8 month old baby, who cannot speak up for his or herself, being left with ANY person that I didn't know, no matter who that person may be. I would have a very hard time trusting YOUR opinion of the person because of the poor judgement you exhibited by jumping right into a new relationship before the divorce was even final.

Ceara -- you have left your kids with people you know that others don't though correct? The law would allow this because dad is NOT leaving the child with a stranger -- he is leaving the child with his fiancee. Yet he is not even really leaving the baby with her as he is still going to be in the house -- just in a different area.

The fact that your girlfriend is a mother herself, she shouldn't have a problem understanding why mom is concerned. I have also been a step parent and as such, I refused to be ALONE with my step daughter until her MOTHER was comfortable with the situation. There was NO WAY I was going to open myself up to any accusations from mom. Mom could SAY your girlfriend is hurting the child when she is alone with her. Even though she couldn't PROVE that it was true, the accusation alone can cause substantial and permanent harm to a person's reputation. Is that something you are willing to do to a person you claim to "love"?

While, with a great attorney and enough money, anything is POSSIBLE, your ex has virtually no chance of getting the court to take action on this matter.

And that is true.The court would slap mom down for contempt if she actually withholds the kids.

 

[Ohiogal]

Again, I really wasn't asking for more advice. I was looking for an attorney in the event she takes me back to court. I've told her that if she wants to take me to court, I'll go. I also told her that if she wants to deny me my children, I will be filing a contempt of court charge.

My initial post this time was an inquiry about finding a lawyer, but I didn't know if this forum was an appropriate place, but since this was where I received my legal advice, I thought it a good place to start.

The rest was clearing up the misunderstanding about the roommate situation from 2 months ago being confused with the current fiance situation.

So, as I originally (again this time) asked, any advice on finding a lawyer? Is this an appropriate place to ask if anyone here is a lawyer, available, and wants to talk about my case? Again, feel free to contact me using the information in my profile.

This site has a lawyer referral system -- click find a lawyer. And there is also the possibility of contacting your local bar.

 

[ceara19]

And that is true.The court would slap mom down for contempt if she actually withholds the kids.

I know that he has the right to leave the children with whomever he wants. I was only trying to explain to him that, while mom is legally wrong, I can understand her concern.

I've gotten referrals for child care from people that I know, but I would never ask for one from a person that I think exhibits poor judgement. In essence, that is what is going on with the OP. He thinks his GF is more then capable of taking care of the baby, and she probably IS. However, from mom's perspective, this is some woman that he jumped into a relationship with and there are probably many things HE doesn't even know about her.

Just think about how many times a day people come here because the person that they married or had a child with isn't the person they THOUGHT they were.

LEGALLY, mom is in the wrong. However, the OP needs to try and look at things from her side. I doubt that he would be thrilled if the situation was reversed.

 

[Ohiogal]

I know that he has the right to leave the children with whomever he wants. I was only trying to explain to him that, while mom is legally wrong, I can understand her concern.

I've gotten referrals for child care from people that I know, but I would never ask for one from a person that I think exhibits poor judgement. In essence, that is what is going on with the OP. He thinks his GF is more then capable of taking care of the baby, and she probably IS. However, from mom's perspective, this is some woman that he jumped into a relationship with and there are probably many things HE doesn't even know about her.

Just think about how many times a day people come here because the person that they married or had a child with isn't the person they THOUGHT they were.

LEGALLY, mom is in the wrong. However, the OP needs to try and look at things from her side. I doubt that he would be thrilled if the situation was reversed.

Actually OP does NOT need to look at things from mom's side for a few reasons: mom is using the chidren as a pawn. Mom is threatening to withhold visitation. Mom was required to take the parenting class for divorcing couples with children and it was very specific that mom is not allowed to pull this types of things and she is NOT allowed to dictate who he can take the children around.
The divorce is done. Yes OP may be engaged and may be moving on with his life quicker than mom would like but that is NONE of mom's business. The court have said so in this state for quite a while and they continue saying it to parents in the mandatory parenting class.
If dad was expressing the same concerns I would be saying the same thing -- he needs to deal. He does not have a right to know what is going on in mom's house anymore than mom has a right to know what goes on in dad's house -- that is how domestic relations in Ohio views it.

 

[LdiJ]

Actually OP does NOT need to look at things from mom's side for a few reasons: mom is using the chidren as a pawn. Mom is threatening to withhold visitation. Mom was required to take the parenting class for divorcing couples with children and it was very specific that mom is not allowed to pull this types of things and she is NOT allowed to dictate who he can take the children around.
The divorce is done. Yes OP may be engaged and may be moving on with his life quicker than mom would like but that is NONE of mom's business. The court have said so in this state for quite a while and they continue saying it to parents in the mandatory parenting class.
If dad was expressing the same concerns I would be saying the same thing -- he needs to deal. He does not have a right to know what is going on in mom's house anymore than mom has a right to know what goes on in dad's house -- that is how domestic relations in Ohio views it.

However, parents can often be better co-parents, and have a better co-parenting relationship, if they show some respect for the concerns of the other parent. I think that was the point that Ceara was trying to make.

Sure, mom is not allowed to do what she is doing, however its also quite possible that dad has really involved his girlfriend with his children too soon. There also may be more to the story than is being divulged, since mom's attorney says its a "reasonable request".

 

[BelizeBreeze]

There also may be more to the story than is being divulged, since mom's attorney says its a "reasonable request".

That's funny. Relying on an opposition attorney's statement that a thing is 'reasonable'. Now, of all the attorneys out there, how many would say the same thing right up to the courthouse doors?

 

[Ohiogal]

That's funny. Relying on an opposition attorney's statement that a thing is 'reasonable'. Now, of all the attorneys out there, how many would say the same thing right up to the courthouse doors?

You better believe I would argue that anything my client wanted was reasonable for his/her reasons regardless of whether or not the law would see it as such. The better question is how many actual attorneys would NOT try to portray their client's demands/requests as reasonable given the circumstances and tell the opposition that their client was out of line and not being rational?

 

[Ohiogal]

However, parents can often be better co-parents, and have a better co-parenting relationship, if they show some respect for the concerns of the other parent. I think that was the point that Ceara was trying to make.

Sure, mom is not allowed to do what she is doing, however its also quite possible that dad has really involved his girlfriend with his children too soon. There also may be more to the story than is being divulged, since mom's attorney says its a "reasonable request".

While I can understand the part about being better co-parents, the courts will dock the parent being irrational/unreasonable based on demands such as these. Meaning mom is the parent NOT attempting to co-parent. Dad can show respect for mom's concerns but in no way, shape or form should dad cave in on this issue. Seriously -- this is a mother who wants to control dad by dictating who dad can have the kids around. That is not up to mom anymore. The only one who gets to dictate who can be around the kids when they are with the other parent is the judge/magistrate. And the judge/magistrate is NOT going to say that the baby cannot be with the fiance/girlfriend/roommate indoors while dad is outdoors with the three year old. And considering the weather in Ohio -- it is understandable why baby would remain indoors rather than out and the toddler would be allowed to play for a limited amount of time outside with dad.

 

[dancer]

...and nothing's changed. She's threatening to take me back to court and change the visitation order because I want to leave our 8 month old with my fiancee, with whom I've been living for the last two months, while I go out in the yard and spend one-on-one time with my three-year old. Or she said she won't let me have the girls this weekend. I'm done with her threats, and I am looking for some representation should it become necessary. I'm not sure if I can ask here, or what venue would be appropriate.

If any of you have suggestions, or any help whatsoever, send me a private message, or contact me using the information in my profile.

Thanks.

Why can't you take both girls outside with you? Everyone else is bashing mom. It sounds to me like you're just trying to piss their mom off. You just got divorced and you're already engaged to be married again? Wow.

And, 2 months ago you said you were going to be careful with introducing girlfriend to the kids, and start putting them first and how you agree it's important to spend ONE ON ONE time with them (both girls, without the girlfriend around). Yet right after you said that you moved in with her? Or maybe you were already living with her (I find that more likely)

What you should be worrying about is spending time with your girls... alone. Rather than whether or not girlfriend can/should babysit the younger child. Yeah, I'd be pissed too if my ex's new girlfriend was ALREADY babysitting our EIGHT month old baby. Considering you don't get to see them every day, I would suggest it's ridiculous that you wouldn't spend every possible moment with both of them on the days you do get them.

 

[dancer]

The roomate was an issue before, back in September. Now, I'm bringing my fiancee into it. I see why you're confused, and why it seems misleading, I just tacked on this new issue to my old thread. Prehaps I should've separated them. I apologize for any misunderstanding.

I also want to say, that by "leaving her alone" with my 8 month old, I'm talking about me and my 3-year old going out into the yard to kick the ball. I'm not talking about me and my 3 year old going to a movie, and to the mall, and being gone all day, I'm talking about me being right outside.

The funny thing is, she was as adamant against the roommate as she has been about the fiancee

Hey I know, you and the 3 year old and the baby and the girlfriend ALL go outside. That way, you're spending time BOTH girls, and girlfriend doesn't have to babysit. Problem is solved. But, you don't want the problem to be solved- you want to anger and hurt Mom as much as possible, right?