status of step fathers?

[dadnnnnnnnnnc]

What is the name of your state? North Carolina

First off, I don't have any type of legal agreement with my daughter's mother. We've never felt the need to get the courts involved, but I suspect that may change soon.

So anyway, my daughter Susan lives with me exclusively and has for 2 years (mom was a crack addict up until a few months ago). Before that, her mother and I split custody 50/50 by agreement, but with my having her more like 60-70%. But seeing as how we never had a formal agreement or hearing or anything, I assume that mom still has full parental rights?

Anyway, mom got married last week. What is the new husbands legal relationship to my daughter? Does he have any rights whatsoever? Does he have all the rights that mom has since they got married?

 

[stealth2]

What is the name of your state? North Carolina

First off, I don't have any type of legal agreement with my daughter's mother. We've never felt the need to get the courts involved, but I suspect that may change soon.

So anyway, my daughter Susan lives with me exclusively and has for 2 years (mom was a crack addict up until a few months ago). Before that, her mother and I split custody 50/50 by agreement, but with my having her more like 60-70%. But seeing as how we never had a formal agreement or hearing or anything, I assume that mom still has full parental rights?

Anyway, mom got married last week. What is the new husbands legal relationship to my daughter? Does he have any rights whatsoever? Does he have all the rights that mom has since they got married?

I'm too busy marveling at how you thought it was okay to agree to 50/50 custody with a crack addict.

But no, stepdad has no rights. Mom does, though. again.

 

[dadnnnnnnnnnc]

No no silly. I agreed to 50/50 before she started smoking crack! Then I got to keep her when she did start smoking crack.

Amazingly, there have been no problems, yet. Mom has always done whatever I say, and in return I've tried to be as accommodating as I can.

But her new husband has a conviction for a sexual offense with a child, is a pimp (seriously, as in owns and runs a brothel, not as in hey man that coat is pimp!), and a drug dealer. You know, the kind of person one wouldn't want to have any relationship with your kids.....

 

[MrsK]

No no silly. I agreed to 50/50 before she started smoking crack! Then I got to keep her when she did start smoking crack.

Amazingly, there have been no problems, yet. Mom has always done whatever I say, and in return I've tried to be as accommodating as I can.

But her new husband has a conviction for a sexual offense with a child, is a pimp (seriously, as in owns and runs a brothel, not as in hey man that coat is pimp!), and a drug dealer. You know, the kind of person one wouldn't want to have any relationship with your kids.....

Sounds like you need to file for custody, pronto.

Are you the child's legal father?

 

[dadnnnnnnnnnc]

I'm the childs father. I don't know if there is some trickery to the phrase "legal father" that I don't know.

You see, it all started with glimmer in my eye, and then..... well, I'll spare you the details, but yes I'm the father!

I know there are good reasons why I should file for custody, but I'm also worried about moms reaction if I do file. Obviously she's not the most rational person ever, and I'm worried she might have some sort of panic reaction that I'm "trying to take her baby away" or something.

She agrees with me that Susan is not to be around the new husband, so it's hard to not just let sleeping dogs lie you know?

If the new husband did have any sort of legal tie to my daughter then I would of course have no option other than to let the court settle things, so I was actually hoping that he did. It'd be a good "excuse" that mom would understand.....

 

[AHA]

I'm the childs father. I don't know if there is some trickery to the phrase "legal father" that I don't know. You see, it all started with glimmer in my eye, and then..... well, I'll spare you the details, but yes I'm the father!

A lot of men have said the same thing, only to have been proven wrong years and years later.
Has a paternity test been performed? If not, I would strongly suggest you make that happen, to avoid any nasty surprises later on that will lead to the girl being raised in a home with a child molester.

 

[dadnnnnnnnnnc]

Oh yeah, I see what you mean. I did in fact have one done. I forgot though, as in my mind there isn't a question. It was one of the cheap mail order ones, which aren't very accurate, but it was accurate enough to ease my mind at the time without causing drama with mama!

So yes, I'm the legal father.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Oh yeah, I see what you mean. I did in fact have one done. I forgot though, as in my mind there isn't a question. It was one of the cheap mail order ones, which aren't very accurate, but it was accurate enough to ease my mind at the time without causing drama with mama!

So yes, I'm the legal father.

Then it's time to grow a pair and stop worrying about what mom will do. Geeez, don't any men these days have balls?

 

[stealth2]

Geeez, don't any men these days have balls?

Hold still and let me check.

 

[AHA]

don't any men these days have balls?

You tell us, we wouldn't know.

 

[dadnnnnnnnnnc]

Oh give me a break! It must seem real easy to someone so remote, but come on. Stop worrying about what mom will do? Like I shouldn't worry about mom picking my daughter up from school and taking off to live with a crack dealer who moved to some crack den in god knows where because she feels threatened that I'm trying to take her daughter away from her? Sure it's easy to talk like a cowboy when you're dealing with an abstract situation you are reading about on the internet, but I'd say you're a pretty crappy father if you DON'T think about scenarios like that.

It's not like I'm worried about hurting moms feelings or something, I'm concerned about the safety of my daughter.

And so far in the last 5 years, I've been in control of where she is and how she is. I'd like to keep it that way. Sure if I could press a button and instantly have full legal custody and a restraining order on the new husband, I'd press it in an instant. But in the real world, I do have to take into consideration what moms reaction would be. Is she going to get mad? I don't care. Is she going to run off to BF Idaho with my daughter because she feels threatened? Seriously, how can I not worry about things like that?

BTW, I do have balls, I'm scratching them right now, but I did have a vasectomy. Does that make me any less of a man....

 

[AHA]

Oh give me a break! It must seem real easy to someone so remote, but come on. Stop worrying about what mom will do? Like I shouldn't worry about mom picking my daughter up from school and taking off to live with a crack dealer who moved to some crack den in god knows where because she feels threatened that I'm trying to take her daughter away from her? Sure it's easy to talk like a cowboy when you're dealing with an abstract situation you are reading about on the internet, but I'd say you're a pretty crappy father if you DON'T think about scenarios like that.

It's not like I'm worried about hurting moms feelings or something, I'm concerned about the safety of my daughter.

And so far in the last 5 years, I've been in control of where she is and how she is. I'd like to keep it that way. Sure if I could press a button and instantly have full legal custody and a restraining order on the new husband, I'd press it in an instant. But in the real world, I do have to take into consideration what moms reaction would be. Is she going to get mad? I don't care. Is she going to run off to BF Idaho with my daughter because she feels threatened? Seriously, how can I not worry about things like that?

BTW, I do have balls, I'm scratching them right now, but I did have a vasectomy. Does that make me any less of a man....

If you cared so much, you would have went to court a long time ago with all your solid proof of mom's unfitness to parent, and fight for full custody. Then you wouldn't have to worry about mom "picking up daughter and going to live in a crack den".

 

[BelizeBreeze]

BTW, I do have balls, I'm scratching them right now, but I did have a vasectomy. Does that make me any less of a man....

No, but your whinning and moaning about what SHE might do when you have a child to think about does.

 

[AHA]

BTW, I do have balls, I'm scratching them right now,

I'm so glad you are nowhere near my keyboard with those fingers, yuk!!!

 

[ceara19]

Oh give me a break! It must seem real easy to someone so remote, but come on. Stop worrying about what mom will do? Like I shouldn't worry about mom picking my daughter up from school and taking off to live with a crack dealer who moved to some crack den in god knows where because she feels threatened that I'm trying to take her daughter away from her? Sure it's easy to talk like a cowboy when you're dealing with an abstract situation you are reading about on the internet, but I'd say you're a pretty crappy father if you DON'T think about scenarios like that.

BB doesn't HAVE to worry about things like that. He's smart enough not to have kids with a crack ho. Maybe you should have been a little pickier when it came time to choosing someone to procreate with, instead of just jumping in between the first pair of open legs you could find, YOU wouldn't need to worry about things like this either.