Female boss was hitting on me

[jimson97]

Michigan

I have a female boss who used to be my co-worker. I am not attracted to this person on any level but as my co-worker she kept asking me to take her to breakfast etc. I never told her up-front that I wasn't interested but I did tell other women at work that I don't date people who I work with. They told this person and she confirmed that she knew this about me.

After becoming my boss, she told some of the contractors that we work with that she was waiting for me to ask her out. I had to tell them I wasn't interested. Since then, my boss and I have had a professional relationship and no further discussions about dating.

Here is my problem. I told our department manager about this interaction because I was worried that it might adversely affect my annual review. I was then called to our company's human resources department where I told the same story. I told them that I think it would be wise not to have this person as a direct supervisor (there are other options in our department). HR said they would take my request into consideration.

My manager was not present during my review but the form included negative comments from my supervisor. The supervisor said that, after being asked to work on a project, I told her that "she can do it herself because she makes the big bucks." I didn't tell her that. The review also said that I was lax in my job and that these issues are a major stumbling block in my career. The department manager told me that I should try to get along with my supervisor.

What do you think?

 

[GatorLaw]

More likely than not, your company has a sexual harassment policy and a procedure for reporting. In order to have a valid title VII claim, you will need to give them notice and a chance to take remedial measures. If they take an adverse employment action against you, then you will have a claim against them. If they fix the problem, I wish you well. If nothing happens, then you likely have a cause of action against them.

Summary: Follow your company's procedure for harassment.

 

[mitousmom]

What interaction did you report to the department manager? I can't find anything in your narrative that indicates that your supervisor has engaged in any conduct of a sexual nature with you since she became your supervisor. You state that you and she have a professional relationship. You haven't presented any information that indicates that you and your boss have discussed dating since she's been your supervisor. The discussions with the contractors don't count.

I think you should focus on doing your work, examine your performance in light of her review comments and figure out how you are going to redeem your working relationship. A little honesty and maturity would help. You should have told the woman when you were co-workers than you weren't interested in her. Sending messages by others is always problematic. And, telling management that you couldn't work with her, given the paucity of any indication of impropriety, is more a commentary on you than her.

 

[moburkes]

More likely than not, your company has a sexual harassment policy and a procedure for reporting. In order to have a valid title VII claim, you will need to give them notice and a chance to take remedial measures. If they take an adverse employment action against you, then you will have a claim against them. If they fix the problem, I wish you well. If nothing happens, then you likely have a cause of action against them.

Summary: Follow your company's procedure for harassment.

So, tell me where the poster indicated that her boss behaved inappropriately TO HER/HIM?

 

[Beth3]

What do you think? I think that if you feel your supervisor is retaliating for your refusal to date her, then you should go back to HR and report that to them.

 

[GatorLaw]

So, tell me where the poster indicated that her boss behaved inappropriately TO HER/HIM?

The title "Female boss was hitting on me", and the alleged retaliation for refusing to date the boss.

 

[moburkes]

The title "Female boss was hitting on me", and the alleged retaliation for refusing to date the boss.

Facts About Sexual Harassment
Sexual harassment is a form of sex discrimination that violates Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature constitutes sexual harassment when submission to or rejection of this conduct explicitly or implicitly affects an individual's employment, unreasonably interferes with an individual's work performance or creates an intimidating, hostile or offensive work environment.

Sexual harassment can occur in a variety of circumstances, including but not limited to the following:

The victim as well as the harasser may be a woman or a man. The victim does not have to be of the opposite sex.
The harasser can be the victim's supervisor, an agent of the employer, a supervisor in another area, a co-worker, or a non-employee.
The victim does not have to be the person harassed but could be anyone affected by the offensive conduct.
Unlawful sexual harassment may occur without economic injury to or discharge of the victim.
The harasser's conduct must be unwelcome.
It is helpful for the victim to directly inform the harasser that the conduct is unwelcome and must stop. The victim should use any employer complaint mechanism or grievance system available.

When investigating allegations of sexual harassment, EEOC looks at the whole record: the circumstances, such as the nature of the sexual advances, and the context in which the alleged incidents occurred. A determination on the allegations is made from the facts on a case-by-case basis.

Prevention is the best tool to eliminate sexual harassment in the workplace. Employers are encouraged to take steps necessary to prevent sexual harassment from occurring. They should clearly communicate to employees that sexual harassment will not be tolerated. They can do so by establishing an effective complaint or grievance process and taking immediate and appropriate action when an employee complains.

So, again what did the poster describe which makes you think that the supervisor said/did anything to the poster?

What people think is sexual harrassment, usually isn't. He said that he has had a professional relationship with person since she became his boss. So, what is the harrassment?

 

[Beth3]

mo, is this just a semantics issue? If the supervisor unfairly critized the poster on his review because he previously rejected her advances, that's sex discrimination. Some individuals not familar with employment law use the term harassment and discrimination interchangeably, even though prohibited harassment is only a form of prohibited discrimination.

 

[Zigner]

I think the point is that the OP has not given any reason to believe his subpar performance review was due to the earlier interaction with his coworker (who later became his boss).

 

[moburkes]

mo, is this just a semantics issue? If the supervisor unfairly critized the poster on his review because he previously rejected her advances, that's sex discrimination. Some individuals not familar with employment law use the term harassment and discrimination interchangeably, even though prohibited harassment is only a form of prohibited discrimination.

No. I was really addressing it to the wanna be lawyer.
The poster only stated that he didnt make that ONE statement. He didn't say that he wasn't lax in his duties, which was another comment on the review form. It may be retaliation, but it may not be. Sometimes we receive one-sided comments. However, the first place to start is HR, like I think you pointed out earlier.

 

[moburkes]

I think the point is that the OP has not given any reason to believe his subpar performance review was due to the earlier interaction with his coworker (who later became his boss).

Exatly. And, unless I mis-read, there never was an "interaction". She said it to CO-WORKERS, who repeated it to him, then he said "not interested" to them, who may or may not have repeated that information back to her.

 

[jimson97]

I recently emailed HR and asked them if they thought it was prudent to include negative comments on my review form from my supervisor. As yet, I haven't heard from them.

I went to HR because I rejected my boss and I felt she might try to sabotage my review. I think that was a legitimate concern. Apparently the company agreed with me because my supervisor was not included in my review proceedings.

She was, however, represented in her negative comments about me on the review form. Those comments where false and misleading. If those comments were going to be included on the form, my supervisor should have been in the room to explain them to me. What was the point of keeping her out of the meeting only to include her comments on the form?

 

[GatorLaw]

So, again what did the poster describe which makes you think that the supervisor said/did anything to the poster?

What people think is sexual harrassment, usually isn't. He said that he has had a professional relationship with person since she became his boss. So, what is the harrassment?

While I didn't have all the facts, what I saw was "submission to or rejection of this conduct explicitly or implicitly affects an individual's employment". This being a rejection on the offer to date affecting an employment review.

On another note, Is there a problem with wanting to be a lawyer? I am not one, just a student trying to give suggestions on the forums. If he feels that this is retaliation for not dating his boss, it looks to me like sexual harassment. But then again, I'm not a lawyer, I've never taken an employment law class, and I've never worked with a human resources department.

 

[mitousmom]

I went to HR because I rejected my boss and I felt she might try to sabotage my review. I think that was a legitimate concern. Apparently the company agreed with me because my supervisor was not included in my review proceedings.

Let's get the pertinent facts on record. When did you reject your supervisor's advances? How long before the review and your report to the department manager and HR did you reject her advances? What did she say to you that you considered an advance? How did you respond?

I'm not sure that there is evidence that the company agreed with you. As far as you have related, the company took no action against the supervisor, you are still her subordinate, you were told to get along with her, and her comments that you consider negative are a part of your official review. None of that suggests that they thought there was actionable harassment.

And, if the supervisor unfairly criticized the poster on his review because he previously rejected her advances, that's a form of sexual harassment. Sex discrimination would occur if the supervisor criticized a male because he rejected her advances, but didn't criticize a female who rejected her advances. That's disparate treatment based on sex.

 

[Beth3]

And, if the supervisor unfairly criticized the poster on his review because he previously rejected her advances, that's a form of sexual harassment. Sex discrimination would occur if the supervisor criticized a male because he rejected her advances, but didn't criticize a female who rejected her advances. That's disparate treatment based on sex.

I'm going to split a legal hair here but ALL adverse actions an employer may take because of someone's gender is sex discrimination. Sexual harassment is just a form of sex discrimination.