Contempt in CA

[NITM]

What is the name of your state? CA

I know how all of you feel about going to court Pro Se, however, considering your vast legal knowledge, can you offer any suggestions on how to make the most of going in Pro Se for contempt for a CP's violation of a visitation court order? I do know what forms to file and how to fill them out. My husband has done it previously, but wound up making an agreement with the CP, which she is still not following. I've heard on other posts that a police report isn't enough proof that CP violated the order? Even the minor child (16 years of age) keeps telling CP that this is his weekend with NCP and that he wants to go with NCP, however CP yells at him, took his phone away telling him he's not allowed to call his dad and will not even tell him where she's stealing him away to this weekend. I called the court last week when the minor child told NCP that his mother was planning to pull something this weekend, and the court said to come in on contempt as soon as we receive the police report. But will they do anything this time? CP threatens to do disobey on almost every holiday, but will usually give in and let the child go with NCP after he's phoned the police in front of her home (before they actually show up) after torturing the child and our family with her threats of not letting us have the child for visitation 2-3 weeks before each holiday, thus placing undue distress on everyone. She turns our home upside down every holiday because of this. She tells the child to get in his room and yells at NCP through her front door that he's a "moron", etc., where the child can hear. What exactly do you call that type of behavior on a legal form? Emotional abuse?

I know I'll probably get pounded here, but I'd appreciate your opinions. NCP had an attorney a few years ago but just couldn't afford it any longer. I will be happy to elaborate on anything if asked.

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? CA

I know how all of you feel about going to court Pro Se, however, considering your vast legal knowledge, can you offer any suggestions on how to make the most of going in Pro Se for contempt for a CP's violation of a visitation court order? I do know what forms to file and how to fill them out. My husband has done it previously, but wound up making an agreement with the CP, which she is still not following. I've heard on other posts that a police report isn't enough proof that CP violated the order? Even the minor child (16 years of age) keeps telling CP that this is his weekend with NCP and that he wants to go with NCP, however CP yells at him, took his phone away telling him he's not allowed to call his dad and will not even tell him where she's stealing him away to this weekend. I called the court last week when the minor child told NCP that his mother was planning to pull something this weekend, and the court said to come in on contempt as soon as we receive the police report. But will they do anything this time? CP threatens to do disobey on almost every holiday, but will usually give in and let the child go with NCP after he's phoned the police in front of her home (before they actually show up) after torturing the child and our family with her threats of not letting us have the child for visitation 2-3 weeks before each holiday, thus placing undue distress on everyone. She turns our home upside down every holiday because of this. She tells the child to get in his room and yells at NCP through her front door that he's a "moron", etc., where the child can hear. What exactly do you call that type of behavior on a legal form? Emotional abuse?

I know I'll probably get pounded here, but I'd appreciate your opinions. NCP had an attorney a few years ago but just couldn't afford it any longer. I will be happy to elaborate on anything if asked.

Your lucky in the fact that CA courts tend to frown HEAVILY upon any parent who prohibits or interferes with the other parent's frequent/continuing contact with the child(ren).

Who told you Police reports are not enough?? They are GOLD in court. File one EVERY SINGLE TIME that the NCP is denied. The issue with contempt in CA is that you must establish a pattern...meaning the first or second offense might not be punished..but a pattern of this type of interference surely will!

Also, Contempt is one of the 'easier' things to do Pro Se. Another good thing is most courts in CA have a Family Law Facilitator's office which can be valuable to those going Pro Se. Have Dad get into the nearest one ASAP.

 

[NITM]

Thanks so much for your opinion. Actually it was on THIS site that I was told police reports aren't enough, but NCP keeps getting them anyway and will get one tonight as well. NCP would like to go for a change in custody since the CP is so blatently unsupportive of the father/son relationship and visitation, but he figures that would never happen without an attorney. CP also makes it clear to the child that she hates NCP. The biggest obstacle NCP faces in and out of court is that CP is a chronic and unconscionable liar, even on paper, and obviously mentally unstable. It's quite shocking actually - I never knew anyone could be so hateful. But you know how that goes . . . we can't prove it. She is a former legal secretary, so she knows all the little loopholes and excuses she can make to keep herself out of trouble all the time. She always gets away with it.

The last contempt charge consisted of 8 police reports and around 4-5 pages of violations, but the court still said "it's hard to prove contempt and you could wind up having to pay for her attorney", and they did nothing to CP. I'm hoping this time the court will see there is indeed a pattern. The court also told me to request a different judge, since the one they always see doesn't seem to do anything about it. Does that sound like a good idea to you or would it be better to keep showing this "pattern" to the same judge, in your opinion? There is also a restraining order in place, forbidding either parent to make derogatory remarks about the other in front of the child, and since CP screams through her front door at NCP, calling him a moron, etc., in front of the child, I'm assuming that is an additional violation that should be listed in the contempt charges.

NCP plans to also file a separate OSC to have the already very specifically worded visitation order re-explained to CP in detail so she can't pull the "I'm stupid" act any more and to request pick ups take place at the local Sheriff Dept from now on.

 

[casa]

Thanks so much for your opinion. Actually it was on THIS site that I was told police reports aren't enough, but NCP keeps getting them anyway and will get one tonight as well. NCP would like to go for a change in custody since the CP is so blatently unsupportive of the father/son relationship and visitation, but he figures that would never happen without an attorney. CP also makes it clear to the child that she hates NCP. The biggest obstacle NCP faces in and out of court is that CP is a chronic and unconscionable liar, even on paper, and obviously mentally unstable. It's quite shocking actually - I never knew anyone could be so hateful. But you know how that goes . . . we can't prove it. She is a former legal secretary, so she knows all the little loopholes and excuses she can make to keep herself out of trouble all the time. She always gets away with it.

The last contempt charge consisted of 8 police reports and around 4-5 pages of violations, but the court still said "it's hard to prove contempt and you could wind up having to pay for her attorney", and they did nothing to CP. I'm hoping this time the court will see there is indeed a pattern. The court also told me to request a different judge, since the one they always see doesn't seem to do anything about it. Does that sound like a good idea to you or would it be better to keep showing this "pattern" to the same judge, in your opinion? There is also a restraining order in place, forbidding either parent to make derogatory remarks about the other in front of the child, and since CP screams through her front door at NCP, calling him a moron, etc., in front of the child, I'm assuming that is an additional violation that should be listed in the contempt charges.

NCP plans to also file a separate OSC to have the already very specifically worded visitation order re-explained to CP in detail so she can't pull the "I'm stupid" act any more and to request pick ups take place at the local Sheriff Dept from now on.

What a mess. The OSC should be re; an Order To Enforce visitation...what that means is that the situation rises on level (legally) towards her being fined/punished.

If NCP is going for custody- he should wait and go through the process of enforcing the current order &/or proving contempt first. THEN he'd have a better chance at changing custody. Right now, he just doesn't have what it takes (especially if he is Pro Se) And definately it's wise to have an attorney when attempting to change custody due to CA "Change Of Circumstance" statute.

Keep piling up the Police Reports. Dad needs to bring a 3rd party (witness) to drop off/pick up...not you, someone unrelated is preferable. Then they can file an affidavit/Declaration stating what they've observed re; Mom's verbal abuse. Don't expect the court to do much about that though~ it's just too common. Unfortunately

Does Dad have Joint Legal Custody?? What are the odds Mom would agree to putting Jr. in counseling?? A professional therapist's opinion would weigh VERY HEAVILY in court. If son is feeling emotional turmoil re; this, he could also be encouraged to speak with a school counselor if Mom balks at therapy.

The idea here is to gather as much evidence as is possible. Dad needs to keep fighting against this....it's grueling, but cannot be ignored.

 

[NITM]

You're awesome - thanks! I will entitle the separate OSC as you suggested.

Dad does have joint legal custody, not that CP pays any attention to that - always violating those rules as well. Constatnly signs child up for activities which interfere with NCP's visitation without consulting him, etc. CP becomes extremely hostile at any mention of counseling or bringing child to mediation/court . . . gosh, I can't imagine why? She did get yelled at by the judge once for not informing dad or the court of a doctor's letter stating that he felt the child's stomach and anxiety problems were caused by the relationship between the parents. She finally presented it in court more than a year after the fact and tried to blame child's ailments on NCP. The judge was not pleased. That was the only time anything negative has ever been said to her from the court.

NCP would bring a 3rd party to witness pick ups, but CP knows what that would mean and wouldn't say a word if a witness were there. She knows what can and can't get her into trouble. She's a real actress when witnesses are around.

 

[casa]

You're awesome - thanks! I will entitle the separate OSC as you suggested.

Dad does have joint legal custody, not that CP pays any attention to that - always violating those rules as well. Constatnly signs child up for activities which interfere with NCP's visitation without consulting him, etc. CP becomes extremely hostile at any mention of counseling or bringing child to mediation/court . . . gosh, I can't imagine why? She did get yelled at by the judge once for not informing dad or the court of a doctor's letter stating that he felt the child's stomach and anxiety problems were caused by the relationship between the parents. She finally presented it in court more than a year after the fact and tried to blame child's ailments on NCP. The judge was not pleased. That was the only time anything negative has ever been said to her from the court.

NCP would bring a 3rd party to witness pick ups, but CP knows what that would mean and wouldn't say a word if a witness were there. She knows what can and can't get her into trouble. She's a real actress when witnesses are around.

Dad needs to get to the Family Law Facilitator's office...that Dr's note that the child's symptoms are due to the parent's acrimony is possibly still usable.

I have a nuttyX, so I assure you I know they behave in front of witnesses...which is WHY Dad needs to do it. The child needs to be shielded from this very damaging behavior *IMO* Doesn't matter how you get her to behave, just matters something is being done to protect the child from further emotional harm.

Dad should PUSH HARD for "a designated public place for pick up/drop off". That will tame her antics down quite a bit also.

Dad should be documenting when Mom is interfering with his Parenting Time by enrolling child in extra-curriculars without his consent. (another issue which is demonstrating her failure to Co-Parent and Contempt of Joint Legal Custody order).

Dad should bring in all his piles of paperwork to the Facilitator's Office. ASAP

 

[casa]

...and PLEASE see if Dad can encourage child to talk to school counselors if he wants/needs. This child needs an outlet.

 

[NITM]

I will tell dad about the school counselor . . . that's a whole 'nother matter all on it's own, with childs failing grades every report card for past 4 years. CP literally rewards the boy for his F's. We figure she's insane enough to actually want him to fail/not graduate so she can receive an extra year of child support until he's 19. Dad is currently waiting for a return call from the school counselor about the grades/attendance issues.

Does dad have to go to the Law Facilitator alone (without me)? I'd like to go with him if possible as he's not the greatest with this sort of thing. I'll call and find out if that's possible.

All great points - I'm printing all of this. I can't thank you enough. You've been a wealth of info!

 

[NITM]

I just checked the Superior Court of CA website info for the Family Law Facilitator and it states that they do "not" provide assistance on custody/visitation issues or non-child support related contempt issues. It figures. Oh well, we'll just have to wing it.

 

[casa]

I just checked the Superior Court of CA website info for the Family Law Facilitator and it states that they do "not" provide assistance on custody/visitation issues or non-child support related contempt issues. It figures. Oh well, we'll just have to wing it.

The do not represent you, but they certainly can tell you what documents to file. I'm telling you there are hundreds of people who have used the Facilitator's office for these reasons. I have no clue who you talked to or what fog their brain was in. If you go back to the Superior Court site, just click on where it says "Self Help".

Dad should also be requesting a meeting with the child's teacher(s) to make an EIP (Educational Improvement Plan) as son's grades are falling steadily over time. Mom CANNOT stop Dad from doing this, although Dad should notify Mom (in writing-return receipt) about his concern and that he is requesting such a meeting for son. Dad should then brace himself for Mom's flip out - which will almost surely occur once she finds out that these are actual options for Dad and son At that time, Dad should let any calls from her go to voicemail...hopefully she'll flip out on voicemail & that's just more evidence

The Good News is that parents like this almost ALWAYS trip themselves up, bc they just cannot control themselves.

 

[NITM]

It's on the Orange County Sup Court of CA website, and it does have the disclaimer stating they do not provide legal advice nor individualized services, etc. It states the assistance is done in a classroom setting and then has a list of issues they do assist with, which are mostly CS issues, filling out I&E reports, some pleadings, etc. Underneath there's another list which specifically states in bold, upper case, underlined words that they do not asisst with issues regarding . . . and what I stated in my previous post is included on that list unfortunately. I did briefly check out the self help site, but didn't see anything offhand . . . I'll look at it more over the weekend. I do know which forms/docs to file, that's no problem, but was hoping they could point out which issues are more relevant than others (to catch the judge's eye) and which of the many incidents would be best to focus on or leave out. Then again, I'm sure that's considered "legal advice", which they don't give, so I'll be out of luck there. However, you've been a big help in that area. I do basically know how to word legal documents, but many times I'm not sure which points to elaborate on or keep short & sweet.

 

[casa]

It's on the Orange County Sup Court of CA website, and it does have the disclaimer stating they do not provide legal advice nor individualized services, etc. It states the assistance is done in a classroom setting and then has a list of issues they do assist with, which are mostly CS issues, filling out I&E reports, some pleadings, etc. Underneath there's another list which specifically states in bold, upper case, underlined words that they do not asisst with issues regarding . . . and what I stated in my previous post is included on that list unfortunately. I did briefly check out the self help site, but didn't see anything offhand . . . I'll look at it more over the weekend. I do know which forms/docs to file, that's no problem, but was hoping they could point out which issues are more relevant than others (to catch the judge's eye) and which of the many incidents would be best to focus on or leave out. Then again, I'm sure that's considered "legal advice", which they don't give, so I'll be out of luck there. However, you've been a big help in that area. I do basically know how to word legal documents, but many times I'm not sure which points to elaborate on or keep short & sweet.

OK, then the OC Courts are not assisting in those matters~ most probably due to CA's current budget crisis & the resulting flood into various state/county orgs. CA is so populated also, there are courts who cannot keep up. (I mistakenly assumed somehow you were in San Diego County)

I think short & sweet is almost always best. Dad just focusing on the Child's Best Interest (education/health/welfare) and maintaining the parent-child bond (Visitation/contempt/etc.)

Please do come back and ask members here for help in wording if you are not sure....many people do that. And, I'd like for you to return after all is said & done to let the site know what the outcome is.

 

[NITM]

When I get stuck on the wording, which I'm sure I will, I'll definitely be back to ask for help. It'll take a couple of weeks to get the finalized police report back so we can file. I'll start on the documents in the meantime. After the CP is served, she will no doubt file her own completely invented "contempt" paperwork against NCP like she did last time, except she has 0 police reports and 0 evidence to support her preposterous lies. She says/does anything to try and take the court's focus off of her actions.

I can't thank you enough!

 

[NITM]

Casa - will this work?

Dad got a police report on Friday, as CP did indeed take off with the boy. Unfortunately, he had the rotten luck of getting the one cop (he got him once before) who doesn't know his rear from the ground and was not helpful at all. All of the other cops are wonderful and understanding. Therefore, I can already predict this police report is not going to be anything great to work off of in trying to file for contempt. If this turns out to be so, in your opinion, should I still even try for contempt or just go for the other OSC to enforce visitation orders?

 

[casa]

Dad got a police report on Friday, as CP did indeed take off with the boy. Unfortunately, he had the rotten luck of getting the one cop (he got him once before) who doesn't know his rear from the ground and was not helpful at all. All of the other cops are wonderful and understanding. Therefore, I can already predict this police report is not going to be anything great to work off of in trying to file for contempt. If this turns out to be so, in your opinion, should I still even try for contempt or just go for the other OSC to enforce visitation orders?

Both. You should be filing to enforce visitation BECAUSE of her Contempt of the Court Order. Don't worry about how the officer writes the report, what matters is that there is a police report showing Dad was denied visitation per his Court Order. (Make sure he has a copy of the Court Order with him everytime)