Child not graduating/support affected?

[CallMeMomAndDad]

What is the name of your state? Virginia

My husband pays child support for a daughter who turned 18 in November 06, and is a Senior. She is supposed to graduate in June, but is on the verge of failing. She has had no discipline by her mother, unfortunately the no discipline parenting technique spilled over into so many school absences that now she may flunk b/c she isn't making up the work(her mom knew she was staying home when she wasn't legitimately sick and still wrote excused notes for her). Now the daughter(who is 2mths pregnant and now missing days b/c she feels sick -then better when the school day has ended) has informed my husband that she'll go to classes, do the work and try to graduate b/c SHE wants to, not b/c he tells her she has to, and if she doesn't want to go, she doesn't have to. The order says he pays the child support amount until she graduates high school, or the age of 19.

Does he have to keep paying until November 2007 when she turns 19 if she fails? Also, if he is responsible, does that mean she has to actually be enrolled in high school in Sept?
I couldn't find anything referring to this situation on the web. Thanks in advance.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state? Virginia

My husband pays child support for a daughter who turned 18 in November 06, and is a Senior. She is supposed to graduate in June, but is on the verge of failing. She has had no discipline by her mother, unfortunately the no discipline parenting technique spilled over into so many school absences that now she may flunk b/c she isn't making up the work(her mom knew she was staying home when she wasn't legitimately sick and still wrote excused notes for her). Now the daughter(who is 2mths pregnant and now missing days b/c she feels sick -then better when the school day has ended) has informed my husband that she'll go to classes, do the work and try to graduate b/c SHE wants to, not b/c he tells her she has to, and if she doesn't want to go, she doesn't have to. The order says he pays the child support amount until she graduates high school, or the age of 19.

Does he have to keep paying until November 2007 when she turns 19 if she fails? Also, if he is responsible, does that mean she has to actually be enrolled in high school in Sept?
I couldn't find anything referring to this situation on the web. Thanks in advance.

Generally it is 18 or graduated from high school...which ever happens LATER...And yes he would have to do this.

 

[JETX]

The order says he pays the child support amount until she graduates high school, or the age of 19.

There you go... you answered your own question!!!

Does he have to keep paying until November 2007 when she turns 19 if she fails?

Yep.

Also, if he is responsible, does that mean she has to actually be enrolled in high school in Sept?

Nope. Absent her GRADUATION (BIG HINT THERE!!!).... he pays until her 19th birthday.

 

[CallMeMomAndDad]

Thank you for the clarification.

To make certain I understand - does this mean that if the daughter fails to graduate in June07, and does NOT re enroll in Sept07 that the support will end in Nov when she is 19 b/c she is no longer in school? On the other hand, does this mean that if she doesn't graduate this June and RE ENROLLS this Sept that support payments continue until she does graduate? I guess I'm confused b/c the timing statement seems 'open ended' to me for lack of a better term - meaning what if a child was still in high school at the age of 20 for example b/c they kept failing, is someone still obligated to pay b/c the child hadn't reached graduation? Forgive my ignorance, this probably sounds like a dumb question, but if true, how is it that the NonC parent's support payments should be extended an additonal year just b/c the custodial parent and the child decided attending school and passing/graduating was not a priority? Thanks in advance for the answers, they're very much appreciated.

 

[JETX]

To make certain I understand - does this mean that if the daughter fails to graduate in June07, and does NOT re enroll in Sept07 that the support will end in Nov when she is 19 b/c she is no longer in school? On the other hand, does this mean that if she doesn't graduate this June and RE ENROLLS this Sept that support payments continue until she does graduate?

Based on your post, the order reads that he is obligated to pay child support "until she graduates high school, or the age of 19."
The OR in there means that his obligation continues until EITHER of these stipulations are met.
If she reaches her 19th birthday before graduating high school, his obligation ends on her birthday.
If she graduates before her 19th birthday, his obligation ends on her graduation.

 

[CallMeMomAndDad]

Got it. Thanks so much for explaining. Your help is appreciated.

 

[CallMeMomAndDad]

Ok, I thought I was done yesterday, sorry. The daughter skipped school today, flat out refusing to go. If she continues this, she definitely will NOT graduate. Since she is 18 ("adult"), can her mother force her to go since she lives under her roof (we live 8hrs away)? Next question - her mother claims she 'can't control her' going to school or not. How is it that my husband can be penalized by having cs extended another 5 months b/c his daughter is doing everything she can to not graduate which means he will pay until she's 19??? I guess I just don't understand how this is/can/will be interpreted in this situation - or does it just not make any difference that the mother/child are not doing anything to ensure she graduates on time?

 

[fairisfair]

Ok, I thought I was done yesterday, sorry. The daughter skipped school today, flat out refusing to go. If she continues this, she definitely will NOT graduate. Since she is 18 ("adult"), can her mother force her to go since she lives under her roof (we live 8hrs away)? Next question - her mother claims she 'can't control her' going to school or not. How is it that my husband can be penalized by having cs extended another 5 months b/c his daughter is doing everything she can to not graduate which means he will pay until she's 19??? I guess I just don't understand how this is/can/will be interpreted in this situation - or does it just not make any difference that the mother/child are not doing anything to ensure she graduates on time?

Don't know what state the girl lives in as you have not mentioned. However, most states have mandatory attendance requirements up to age 16. so, no, mom cannot make her go to school, any more than you could make her go to school if she lived in your home. The way your husband is able to be "penalized" is um, because this is HIS child as well, and he has a legal responsibility to support her, whether or not he approves of her behavior. Oh, and just for giggles, what has hubby done to assist with ensuring that the girl is being raised properly, oh wait, that's right, he doesn't live in that state does he???

 

[nextwife]

Don't know what state the girl lives in as you have not mentioned. However, most states have mandatory attendance requirements up to age 16. so, no, mom cannot make her go to school, any more than you could make her go to school if she lived in your home. The way your husband is able to be "penalized" is um, because this is HIS child as well, and he has a legal responsibility to support her, whether or not he approves of her behavior. Oh, and just for giggles, what has hubby done to assist with ensuring that the girl is being raised properly, oh wait, that's right, he doesn't live in that state does he???

Uh, if I had been skipping school, my dad would have grounded me until I completed all my make up work, given me extra chores, ,and made me go to summer school, and work closely with the school to get all make up work done. I would have been permitted NO excuses, and my social life would have been non-existent. Dad obviously is not given the right to sanction his daughter for skipping school- when mom is the enabler allowing her to slide. Likely so mom CAN keep getting support longer.

Look, I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, and I graduated one of the most demanding HSs in our state in 3 1/2 years. If I can do that, anyone with a half a brain should be able to finish in four, especially in a much easier school..

Poster: can she attend summer school to make up some credits - even if she must stay with you and attend there?

 

[fairisfair]

Uh, if I had been skipping school, my dad would have grounded me until I completed all my make up work, given me extra chores, ,and made me go to summer school, and work closely with the school to get all make up work done. I would have been permitted NO excuses, and my social life would have been non-existent. Dad obviously is not given the right to sanction his daughter for skipping school- when mom is the enabler allowing her to slide. Likely so mom CAN keep getting support longer.

Look, I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, and I graduated one of the most demanding HSs in our state in 3 1/2 years. If I can do that, anyone with a half a brain should be able to finish in four, especially in a much easier school..

Poster: can she attend summer school to make up some credits - even if she must stay with you and attend there?

I seriously doubt that most mothers would encourage their children to fail in school (or skip or whatever) just so that they could continue to receive child support. That thought is ludicruous. Yes, it might happen, there is probably somewhere out there a rotten scheming mother (or FATHER) who puts their own self interest above the future of their child, but we are dealing in generalities here. You will notice, that poster never mentioned anything but crap about mom, no mention of anything that dad has done to help, no mention of the girl coming to stay with them, no mention of any kind of tutoring or special help, I read alot about child support, but little else.

Oh, and personally, I think you are a very sharp tool, cut a little on the bias sometimes, but very sharp nonetheless.

 

[CallMeMomAndDad]

He's traveled to her state to see her, he has paid for at least 4 flights ea year for her to come spend time with us in addition to driving 16 hours there and back to see her and/or bring her here for a few days and take her back- basically anytime he wants to see her/she wants to see him - he makes it happen with no help and lots of opposition from the mother. He's called the school, the guidance counselors, the teachers, her doctors, and her psychiatrist to stay abreast of what is going on with her b/c her mother won't tell him anything UNTIL the daughter is doing stuff she doesn't like - then she calls and demands "what are you going to do about it"? He also consulted his lawyer several times in the past about trying to modify the order for her to come live with us b/c the daughter says she wants to b/c she needs discipline, then when she realizes we have rules at our house, she changes her mind. He calls her everyday, and if she doesn't answer, he instant messages her, texts her, or emails her. He calls her cell and her home number which no one will answer. He does everything he can to make sure he has influence on what is going on. The Ex won't return his calls from her home or cell phone, and she will not give him her work phone - she won't even give it to her daughter b/c she said the daughter will be calling her all the time on it. The Ex also blocked my husbands email address and screen name b/c she doesn't want to answer his questions about their daughter. So yes, THE MOTHER moved out of state on 23 days notice and enrolled the girl in school, and my husband is 8 hrs away, but he does everything he can to try and participate and stay aware of her upbringing. I guess you must have other suggestions as well?

 

[fairisfair]

how eerily convenient that you never mentioned ANY of that until now.

Dad can certainly petition to modify support based on the fact that the girl is not attending school, but chances that will happen, none and zero. Best to just suck it up and pay until she is 19 and be done with it. If dad has truly done all the things that you say he has, well then, there is little else to be done.

 

[nextwife]

I seriously doubt that most mothers would encourage their children to fail in school (or skip or whatever) just so that they could continue to receive child support. That thought is ludicruous. Yes, it might happen, there is probably somewhere out there a rotten scheming mother (or FATHER) who puts their own self interest above the future of their child, but we are dealing in generalities here. You will notice, that poster never mentioned anything but crap about mom, no mention of anything that dad has done to help, no mention of the girl coming to stay with them, no mention of any kind of tutoring or special help, I read alot about child support, but little else.

Oh, and personally, I think you are a very sharp tool, cut a little on the bias sometimes, but very sharp nonetheless.

I state the above because of post 1:

(her mom knew she was staying home when she wasn't legitimately sick and still wrote excused notes for her). Now the daughter(who is 2mths pregnant and now missing days b/c she feels sick -then better when the school day has ended) has informed my husband that she'll go to classes, do the work and try to graduate b/c SHE wants to, not b/c he tells her she has to, and if she doesn't want to go, she doesn't have to.

If that is true, Mom IS enabling failure by making it easy for kiddo to slide and not do what's required.

 

[fairisfair]

I state the above because of post 1:



If that is true, Mom IS enabling failure by making it easy for kiddo to slide and not do what's required.

I call in on occasion for my child, even when she isn't really sick, just because she feels like she needs a break, however, she is an honors student. If she wasn't would I still do it, maybe, given the circumstances. And how does stepmom a few hundred miles away, know if the girl is sick or not anyway? Sounds like this family has multiple problems, none of which has been improved by dad being out of the state. I don't have a problem with the girl needing to be in school, and wow, nobody is even addressing the issue of her pregnancy. Course that would be mom's fault for not supervising her properly as well I am sure. Pretty easy to stand a few states away and point fingers at the other guy.

 

[LdiJ]

I state the above because of post 1:



If that is true, Mom IS enabling failure by making it easy for kiddo to slide and not do what's required.

I don't disagree, but the child IS a legal adult now, even if not emancipated for child support purposes, therefore mom no longer has much control.