Sorry if you think you only hear about c.s. in this, and alot of 'crap about Mom'...but the truth is, yes her mother doesn't and hasn't supervised her. My step daughter AND step son both have told us in the past that their boyfriends and girlfriends have been allowed in their bedrooms, and in the house when no adults are home. I witnessed this in our home over the summer when each was staying with us. The daughter had a boy over and when she went to her room to get something, he followed her. When we told her that was not to happen, she told us sorry, he followed her in her room b/c he was allowed to at her mom's house. The son would try to do the same thing. The best parental supervision story came from the son who told us a mth after the daughters 18th birthday that the mom didn't care if she smoked dope as long as she didn't do it everday, this came after she told us she spent her bday $ on dope. My step son used to live with us and when we grounded him for sneaking out @ 2am and running the neighborhood, we took his car away for 2 wks, his mother told him in front of us numerous times we didn't have the right to take his car away, and he didn't have to listen to us. After a few months of this, he decided he didn't want to follow our rules and went to live with her. When he was here, he played school sports, held a job during school, and had an A/B average, and rarely missed school. At the end of that school year when he moved in w/his mom, we got a notice from the school showing his absences - 49 excused absences from his first period class, and 23 from his last period class, plus his grades went down to a low C average. So yes, I put alot of the blame on her mother, and I put the rest of the responsibility on her. Also, we did not move out of state, her mother did. My step daughter was going to come live with us and go to school here before they moved, however, her mom told her she could have a dog, get a tatoo, get internet in her room, and a cell phone if she moved with her - so she went. As far as the pregnancy goes - we've told her she always has a place to live with us if she wants/needs it. We told her she has other options. We've told her she must make sure she graduates so that she can go to college as she planned. We've told her we will help her in any way we can b/c she is determined to have this baby, and yes her mother is encouraging her to have it, and has demanded my husband help with their living expenses for the daughter and baby when the 3 of them move out in June - she is leaving her new hubby and has told us that we will be affected tremendously b/c we will still owe child support when the daughter doesn't graduate. And yes, I believe the mother doesn't really care if her daughter graduates or not b/c she could use the extra cs $ to pay the living expenses when she leaves her husband. Oh, and she sent her new hubby to school to talk to the teachers but she hasn't had time to go thru what they said to him - she had to work and couldn't go herself. Tonight her mom told her if she didn't do a certain thing, she was kicking her out of the house. And if she's still there in June, the daughter will have to pay rent to stay there b/c she's not supporting her anymore b/c its time for the mom to be on her own, and the daughter has never contributed to the household so if she wants help she better shape up. So yeah, while I don't believe she's DISCOURAGING her from graduating, she's not ENCOURAGING her either. My husband is not concerned about the $, he has always done above and beyond what is required of him financially in the order. And he has no problem giving the $ if extended to his DAUGHTER, he doesn't want it to go thru the ex b/c it will not be used to help anyone but the ex. So, even if you think it sounds that way, I'm not worried about the $, I am worried as is my husband about the daughter. And we don't want to modify the agreement for cs to get out of paying! I posted originally b/c I wanted to clarify if we had to continue paying when it is clear that graduating is not a priority - and how is that fair that b/c they decide not to care about school that my husband has to continue paying? And again, he doesn't mind paying or helping after the payments end, but why do they hold the person paying cs accountable to do the right thing and continue paying when no one else has to do the right thing and can drag it out if they so choose? I am frustrated that no matter what we do, or how much we try to make sure the daughter is taken care of, it just doesn't seem to matter legally - and I was hoping not to talk bad about the mom or be $ grubbing, but to get some legal answers on why the law sees no distinction for cs extentions between those making an honest attempt to graduate and those failing for no good reason who happen to have a cp who doesn't make it a priority either. Thanks for all the replies. I will come back soon and let you know what the lawyer says.
