Should I get a lwayer? Does he have ANY chances?

[Raisingmaddy]

Originally Posted by xANGELx
sugarplum, thanks for your replies. MrsK on the otherhand: WOW. You on the rag?

OMG!!!! Seriously zANGELx that was very inappropriate. I am new here too, and I too felt that I got BLASTED when I first posted, but if you let your defenses down some you will realize that the responses and questions they ask ARE for a reason and they are VERY helpful, whether you like the answers or not.

 

[GrowUp!]

WOW. You on the rag?

WOW. Are you 12 with that response?

amazing how you know nothing of me

It doesn't matter.

and even though I clearly state the money is needed in order to help pay for the childs needs,

So the child did not have "needs" until you decided you are going to move out and, at the same time, decided you 'need child support from the father.'

Let me smack you down to reality for a second, since I read right through that horsecrap. YOU do not need child support. The child support is not for YOU. Why do you think they call it child support? Because legislators wanted to call it a day before noon long ago?

It's because it's FOR THE CHILD. NOT for you. If you need support, then I suggest you go support yourself, as you are supposed to be doing. Usually a job does that and in return, you get something called a paycheck, which allows you to -- ready for this --- SUPPORT YOU!!! Yeah, I know. CNN SHOULD Be alerted..

If I had any anger towards the father I wouldn't have invited him to meet his son. If he gave a crap about his kid, he could have seen him that day, but it's obvious he wants nothing to do with it unless he's FORCED to (sorry, but that defines a LOZER with all caps in my book).

Bzzt. Thanks for playing. Nice try on the spin, but this isn't the O'Reilly Factor. A

As far as putting him in debt: me moving out and taking care of my kid all by myself with no help would put me in debt, unless I got on some sorts of welfare. Do *YOU* really want to be the one supporting my "angry single white trash ass" with your tax dollars? DIDN'T THINK SO.

Again, more proof you are simply filing for child support because you are moving out and you need the money. So the child didn't need that money -- which is FOR THE CHILD -- before huh? YOU chose not to even file for paternity and support. It's not a one-way street and women like you who play that card do NOT get any sympathy.

Sorry but it takes two to tango and I feel the father does need to take some responsibility.

Oh. NOW you think so, huh? Way to put the child FIRST. And guess what -- until a LEGAL DNA tests determines him the father, there is NO LEGAL obligation to give you a penny.

I guess it would've been better if I got our kid sucked down the machine planned parenthood machine however I was already 3 months along when the father decided to turn into an abusive psycho...and besides, i'd rather deal with people like you who bitch at me for having a kid and needing advice than psychotic pro-lifers.

Ya know what -- and I know I am probably going to hear about this response from Mary -- but you are a piece of trash playing the abortion card in your response. You stupid (expletive) broad -- what YOU should have done 5 damn years ago is filed for support for YOUR CHILD THEN!!!! But I guess the childs NEEDS didn't matter then, did they?? Spare us with your excuses, loser (correct spelling, BTW).

 

[colleen1228]

I honestly DO NOT mind if he sees our son. I am not against the idea of him getting SUPERVISED visitation. He is a *VERY* emotionally unstable person who has a criminal record of violence. I didn't even know he had a record until recently I was able to get them online, he even beat one of North Carolina's defense attorney's sons half to death (i'm sure that will win him kudos in court). He was dischared from the military due to getting drunk and beating people up. I just do not want him ALONE with our son.

If your son's father was abusive gather any evidence you can to use against him. I can relate to the abuse issue. Ever see the movie Enough. That was very similar to my life. Fortunately though my child's father got help and now sees his children. But before that his visits were supervised. It is soooooo important that your children are safe when they are with either parent. Insist that visits are supervised. Tape conversations with him and get him to admit abuse or save emails. It can be a very scary situation to know that your child is going to be with someone who is capable of so much rage but he is the child's father and he does have rights. It doesn't seem like he is very interested in seeing the child though and I doubt he will want to go through the hassle of supervised visitation. Just make sure your child is safe and he gets the csp he deserves. You definitely should've filed a long time ago, but it's too late to change that. I really doubt that you will be able to get back csp for the past 5 years. Just start from this day forward to do what your child deserves and do your best to allow his father to be apart of your child's life in a safe way although it seems like he is not interested.

 

[xANGELx]

Growup!:

Apparently you need to practice what your screen name preaches, dear. My 5 year old thinks with more logic and less double-standards than you do.

"So the child did not have "needs" until you decided you are going to move out and, at the same time, decided you 'need child support from the father.'" - He has needs here. My parents help pay for them. They did not father my child though, it isn't their responsibility. Its mine and my ex's. COMMON SENSE.


"
Let me smack you down to reality for a second, since I read right through that horsecrap. YOU do not need child support. The child support is not for YOU. Why do you think they call it child support? Because legislators wanted to call it a day before noon long ago?

It's because it's FOR THE CHILD. NOT for you..."

Wow and you call me a 12 year old? You just made the WORST attempt at reverse psychology I have EVER SEEN. So you try and warp me saying "I need child support" into me saying "I need money for me"....um hello, if the money was just going to be for me I would've just said "I need money for me", not "I need child support". Once again, COMMON SENSE.
Which reality is it your trying to "smack" me down into, anyways? Is it the reality you live in where you realize already what the hell the other person is already trying to say but would rather turn mundane and irrelevent things into a big issue in an attempt to make you look "cool" on your little forum? No thanks, i'll stay in my safe, sane reality


"If you need support, then I suggest you go support yourself, as you are supposed to be doing. Usually a job does that and in return, you get something called a paycheck, which allows you to -- ready for this --- SUPPORT YOU!!! Yeah, I know. CNN SHOULD Be alerted"

Exactly, which is what i'm going to do and am in the process of doing already. But like i've said before, it takes two to make a baby. I have every right to ask for child support from the father and to use the funds to pay for half of the child's daycare costs, food costs, and healthcare costs. It does not make me any less reponsible by doing so.

P.S.: I do not watch mainstream media. I'm smart enough to know it's biased and mostly untrue, so forget CNN or O'reilly's half assed attempts at debate.

"Again, more proof you are simply filing for child support because you are moving out and you need the money. So the child didn't need that money -- which is FOR THE CHILD -- before huh? YOU chose not to even file for paternity and support. It's not a one-way street and women like you who play that card do NOT get any sympathy.
Oh. NOW you think so, huh? Way to put the child FIRST. And guess what -- until a LEGAL DNA tests determines him the father, there is NO LEGAL obligation to give you a penny"

I'll repeat what I said a few paragraph's ago: He has needs here. My parents help pay for them. They did not father my child though, it isn't their responsibility. Its mine and my ex's. COMMON SENSE.
I'd like to point out also how you once again prove what a hypocrite you are by saying "It's not a one-way street and women like you who play that card do NOT get any sympathy" - Making a baby isn't a one way street, you MORON. Unless his father is dead somewhere or completely paralyzed, he CAN help support our child.
I didn't come on here saying "I need help cuz my car payment is due and I can't get muh hurr did cuz babbuh dadduh ain't paid me no child support!" - so please get that stick out of your ass, thanks.

"Ya know what -- and I know I am probably going to hear about this response from Mary -- but you are a piece of trash playing the abortion card in your response. You stupid (expletive) broad -- what YOU should have done 5 damn years ago is filed for support for YOUR CHILD THEN!!!! But I guess the childs NEEDS didn't matter then, did they?? Spare us with your excuses, loser (correct spelling, BTW)."

You're angry about my abortion response because you know i'm right. I can tell already just by reading your response to my post and others in other topics you've been in, that you are either: a very hateful man that thinks all women are evil, probably against abortion, and have a very warped and blind following of a faith you truly know nothing about.
OR: A woman who is married to a man that is like that.

LMFAO!!!!!!!!

I didn't file for support back then because I didn't need it. Plain and simple. I already went over that part at least 2 times now.

 

[xANGELx]

If your son's father was abusive gather any evidence you can to use against him. I can relate to the abuse issue. Ever see the movie Enough. That was very similar to my life. Fortunately though my child's father got help and now sees his children. But before that his visits were supervised. It is soooooo important that your children are safe when they are with either parent. Insist that visits are supervised. Tape conversations with him and get him to admit abuse or save emails. It can be a very scary situation to know that your child is going to be with someone who is capable of so much rage but he is the child's father and he does have rights. It doesn't seem like he is very interested in seeing the child though and I doubt he will want to go through the hassle of supervised visitation. Just make sure your child is safe and he gets the csp he deserves. You definitely should've filed a long time ago, but it's too late to change that. I really doubt that you will be able to get back csp for the past 5 years. Just start from this day forward to do what your child deserves and do your best to allow his father to be apart of your child's life in a safe way although it seems like he is not interested.

THANK YOU!

 

[Ohiogal]

You know OP the posters who you don't like are the ones who are telling you facts. Your ex will get unsupervised visitation. YOU CHOSE HIM to have a baby with. YOU CHOSE HIM as the father of the child. If he wants visitation he will get it and you will not be able to dictate it.

As for the violence -- can you PROVE any of it and was ANY of it directed at a child -- specifically this child? If not at a child it is NOT relevant. And if you only know about it due to hearsay it is not relevant. And if he abused you BEFORE you got pregnant then you were an idiot because by getting pregnant with the child you were saying you condoned his actions. YOu have no proof that he would CURRENTLY be a danger to this child.

And Grow UP is correct -- you are filing because you want to move out of mommy and daddy's house? The court WILL NOT base child support on your needs to have a home apart from your parents.

 

[Ohiogal]

If your son's father was abusive gather any evidence you can to use against him. I can relate to the abuse issue. Ever see the movie Enough. That was very similar to my life. Fortunately though my child's father got help and now sees his children. But before that his visits were supervised. It is soooooo important that your children are safe when they are with either parent. Insist that visits are supervised. Tape conversations with him and get him to admit abuse or save emails. It can be a very scary situation to know that your child is going to be with someone who is capable of so much rage but he is the child's father and he does have rights. It doesn't seem like he is very interested in seeing the child though and I doubt he will want to go through the hassle of supervised visitation. Just make sure your child is safe and he gets the csp he deserves. You definitely should've filed a long time ago, but it's too late to change that. I really doubt that you will be able to get back csp for the past 5 years. Just start from this day forward to do what your child deserves and do your best to allow his father to be apart of your child's life in a safe way although it seems like he is not interested.

Let me see.. YOU ARE GIVING HORRIBLE ADVICE. Tapes would be thrown out of court if done secretly. Emails would not be worth anything unless you could prove they are from him.
There is NO PROOF that this man is a current danger to anyone let alone this child and a court will see right through OP's claims. OP does not get to use the guy as a cash machine and deprive him of a right to see his child.

 

[xANGELx]

"You know OP the posters who you don't like are the ones who are telling you facts."

They may know facts about law, however they do not know facts about MY LIFE, therefore their harsh replies are not welcome and I responded accordingly. I've taken all positive aspects of this thread into consideration, all a$$hole behavior aside.

"Your ex will get unsupervised visitation. YOU CHOSE HIM to have a baby with. YOU CHOSE HIM as the father of the child. If he wants visitation he will get it and you will not be able to dictate it."

ummm..unless YOU are the judge seeing to the case, you really cant say that 100% truthfully. I hate to break it to you, but those egotisitcal opinions you hold so dear are merely opinions, not facts I'm willing to take the chance..Just wanted to see what others thought and why. To be honest, nobody has yet to tell me WHY he WOULD be getting this so-called "Non-supervised visitation". A lot of you sure all hell-bent on stating your opinion as to what you think might happen, but not WHY...hmmm...and please don't give me a "well i'm a lawyer from so-and-so college" reason. I'm looking moreso for what exactly is possibly going to go down in a court and the possible outcomes. OH WAIT, THATS RIGHT, YOU WON'T BE THERE SO YOU WON'T KNOW, YOU CAN ONLY GUESS! DOH! Sheesh..can you not even give a half way remotely educated guess or are you just gonna keep throwing out the "YOU'RE EVIL! YOU'RE GONNA BURN! BLAAAAAAAAH!" crap?

"As for the violence -- can you PROVE any of it and was ANY of it directed at a child -- specifically this child?" - YEP. Police report and arrest for assault on a pregnant female.

"And if he abused you BEFORE you got pregnant then you were an idiot because by getting pregnant with the child you were saying you condoned his actions."

Nah he wasn't abusive at first. A bit obsessive but not abusive.

"YOu have no proof that he would CURRENTLY be a danger to this child."

Yeah other than him throwing me around while pregnant and his violent records towards other people. Sorry, once again, you lose.

"And Grow UP is correct -- you are filing because you want to move out of mommy and daddy's house? The court WILL NOT base child support on your needs to have a home apart from your parents."

DURRRRRRRRRRRRR! I don't expect him to pay my damn rent or anything. Like I said a MILLION DAMN TIMES ALREADY, I need help with daycare,f ood, and healthcare. If I had posted that I was mad over not getting child support because I was late on rent or a car payment or something, THEN maybe GrowUp!'s harsh comments about me only wanting child support to support myself could be justified.

 

[xANGELx]

Let me see.. YOU ARE GIVING HORRIBLE ADVICE. Tapes would be thrown out of court if done secretly. Emails would not be worth anything unless you could prove they are from him.
There is NO PROOF that this man is a current danger to anyone let alone this child and a court will see right through OP's claims. OP does not get to use the guy as a cash machine and deprive him of a right to see his child.

that's not horrible advice. at least their advice was backed up with why it MIGHT work, unlike you people and your jaded as hell "GIVE UP NOW!!! RAWRRR!" attitudes I've saved the emails, I do have a tape of him flipping out saying he's going to kill me on my answering machine. If the lawyer I get tells me it can't be used, so what? At least I had it just to be safe.

 

[colleen1228]

Let me see.. YOU ARE GIVING HORRIBLE ADVICE. Tapes would be thrown out of court if done secretly. Emails would not be worth anything unless you could prove they are from him.
There is NO PROOF that this man is a current danger to anyone let alone this child and a court will see right through OP's claims. OP does not get to use the guy as a cash machine and deprive him of a right to see his child.

Oh, Sweetheart and you are giving her great advice. Telling her that she is depriving her child's father the right to see his child. PLEASE IF YOU HAVE NEVER WALKED A DAY IN AN ABUSED WOMENS LIFE KEEP YOUR OPINIONS TO YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Oh yeah and this guy is not a danger to his child. GEE MAYBE BECAUSE HE WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM. This is pathetic. Keep feeling sorry for this scumbag who wants nothing to do with this child. Your sympathy really should be directed towards the woman who has taken care of this child alone for the past 5 years.

 

[MrsK]

sugarplum, thanks for your replies. MrsK on the otherhand: WOW. You on the rag?


amazing how you know nothing of me and even though I clearly state the money is needed in order to help pay for the childs needs, you insist i'm only doing it "out of anger". If I had any anger towards the father I wouldn't have invited him to meet his son. If he gave a crap about his kid, he could have seen him that day, but it's obvious he wants nothing to do with it unless he's FORCED to (sorry, but that defines a LOZER with all caps in my book).

As far as putting him in debt: me moving out and taking care of my kid all by myself with no help would put me in debt, unless I got on some sorts of welfare. Do *YOU* really want to be the one supporting my "angry single white trash ass" with your tax dollars? DIDN'T THINK SO.

Sorry but it takes two to tango and I feel the father does need to take some responsibility.


I guess it would've been better if I got our kid sucked down the machine planned parenthood machine however I was already 3 months along when the father decided to turn into an abusive psycho...and besides, i'd rather deal with people like you who bitch at me for having a kid and needing advice than psychotic pro-lifers.

Nope, just sick of bitches like you.

Also- you should be able to move out and receive CURRENT support and be able to work & live on your own. If you cant support a child that way, you shouldnt have had one. You wouldnt get all the back support in 1 lump sum ANYWAY, so its not like you hit the jackpot & would all of a sudden be "in the money". And again, if you need welfare to raise your child, you had NO BUSINESS having one.

Of course I dont want MY tax dollars to go to support people (with no sense) like you. But that's how it goes...have you never seen the bumper sticker that says "I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend On Me"

 

[Gevalia]

It was horrible legal advice. You came here for legal advice. Being told something that will create legally unrealistic expectations is horrible legal advice. Do you want to waste time pinning your hopes on tapes and e-mails that won't see the light of day in a court room, or do you want to be prepared with the legal reality of the situation?

The senior members here know what they're talking about, and you just benefited from their knowledge. For free. So, you got your feelings hurt. Big deal. If you want someone to pat you on the head and say "there, there" go to sobsisters.com. If you want legal help, listen to these people. A gift wrapped in sandpaper instead of silk is still a gift.

ETA: By the way: if you can't face being accused of being selfish and spiteful without melting in a puddle of hysterical defensiveness, opposing counsel is going to eat you for lunch.

 

[MrsK]

I honestly DO NOT mind if he sees our son. I am not against the idea of him getting SUPERVISED visitation. He is a *VERY* emotionally unstable person who has a criminal record of violence. I didn't even know he had a record until recently I was able to get them online, he even beat one of North Carolina's defense attorney's sons half to death (i'm sure that will win him kudos in court). He was dischared from the military due to getting drunk and beating people up. I just do not want him ALONE with our son.

Of COURSE you dont mind supervised visitation. OMG, I totally did not see that one coming. Nor did I see that he was emotionally unstable, abusive, oh AND a drunk. Never heard those before.

 

[nextwife]

Oh, Sweetheart and you are giving her great advice. Telling her that she is depriving her child's father the right to see his child. PLEASE IF YOU HAVE NEVER WALKED A DAY IN AN ABUSED WOMENS LIFE KEEP YOUR OPINIONS TO YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Oh yeah and this guy is not a danger to his child. GEE MAYBE BECAUSE HE WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM. This is pathetic. Keep feeling sorry for this scumbag who wants nothing to do with this child. Your sympathy really should be directed towards the woman who has taken care of this child alone for the past 5 years.

THis is not a "support site" to go looking for sympathy - it is a LEGAL sight. Legally, she must PROVE to a judge that he is a danger to the child. Nobody made MOM first PROVE her worthiness before she came home with a baby, did they? Ohiogal is referring to the presumed constitutional right that all parents have to parents their child UNLESS there is proof why they should be deprived of that right.

The poster's claims of abuse are suspect BECAUSE she wrote a lengthy first post and never once mentioned abuse as her rational, only her anger that dad had not been paying CS or been involved.

And five is NOT too late for a child to be able to bond with a parent. I have several friends whose kids were not their kids until they were 6 and 7. Mine was more than 2 when she became my daughter, and she handled accepting a parent very well.

 

[MrsK]

Growup!:

Apparently you need to practice what your screen name preaches, dear. My 5 year old thinks with more logic and less double-standards than you do.

"So the child did not have "needs" until you decided you are going to move out and, at the same time, decided you 'need child support from the father.'" - He has needs here. My parents help pay for them. They did not father my child though, it isn't their responsibility. Its mine and my ex's. COMMON SENSE.


"
Let me smack you down to reality for a second, since I read right through that horsecrap. YOU do not need child support. The child support is not for YOU. Why do you think they call it child support? Because legislators wanted to call it a day before noon long ago?

It's because it's FOR THE CHILD. NOT for you..."

Wow and you call me a 12 year old? You just made the WORST attempt at reverse psychology I have EVER SEEN. So you try and warp me saying "I need child support" into me saying "I need money for me"....um hello, if the money was just going to be for me I would've just said "I need money for me", not "I need child support". Once again, COMMON SENSE.
Which reality is it your trying to "smack" me down into, anyways? Is it the reality you live in where you realize already what the hell the other person is already trying to say but would rather turn mundane and irrelevent things into a big issue in an attempt to make you look "cool" on your little forum? No thanks, i'll stay in my safe, sane reality


"If you need support, then I suggest you go support yourself, as you are supposed to be doing. Usually a job does that and in return, you get something called a paycheck, which allows you to -- ready for this --- SUPPORT YOU!!! Yeah, I know. CNN SHOULD Be alerted"

Exactly, which is what i'm going to do and am in the process of doing already. But like i've said before, it takes two to make a baby. I have every right to ask for child support from the father and to use the funds to pay for half of the child's daycare costs, food costs, and healthcare costs. It does not make me any less reponsible by doing so.

P.S.: I do not watch mainstream media. I'm smart enough to know it's biased and mostly untrue, so forget CNN or O'reilly's half assed attempts at debate.

"Again, more proof you are simply filing for child support because you are moving out and you need the money. So the child didn't need that money -- which is FOR THE CHILD -- before huh? YOU chose not to even file for paternity and support. It's not a one-way street and women like you who play that card do NOT get any sympathy.
Oh. NOW you think so, huh? Way to put the child FIRST. And guess what -- until a LEGAL DNA tests determines him the father, there is NO LEGAL obligation to give you a penny"

I'll repeat what I said a few paragraph's ago: He has needs here. My parents help pay for them. They did not father my child though, it isn't their responsibility. Its mine and my ex's. COMMON SENSE.
I'd like to point out also how you once again prove what a hypocrite you are by saying "It's not a one-way street and women like you who play that card do NOT get any sympathy" - Making a baby isn't a one way street, you MORON. Unless his father is dead somewhere or completely paralyzed, he CAN help support our child.
I didn't come on here saying "I need help cuz my car payment is due and I can't get muh hurr did cuz babbuh dadduh ain't paid me no child support!" - so please get that stick out of your ass, thanks.

"Ya know what -- and I know I am probably going to hear about this response from Mary -- but you are a piece of trash playing the abortion card in your response. You stupid (expletive) broad -- what YOU should have done 5 damn years ago is filed for support for YOUR CHILD THEN!!!! But I guess the childs NEEDS didn't matter then, did they?? Spare us with your excuses, loser (correct spelling, BTW)."

You're angry about my abortion response because you know i'm right. I can tell already just by reading your response to my post and others in other topics you've been in, that you are either: a very hateful man that thinks all women are evil, probably against abortion, and have a very warped and blind following of a faith you truly know nothing about.
OR: A woman who is married to a man that is like that.

LMFAO!!!!!!!!

I didn't file for support back then because I didn't need it. Plain and simple. I already went over that part at least 2 times now.
LOZER.

Common sense says if you needed support for your CHILD (not for your moving out expenses) you should've done it 5 yrs ago. I'm sure your parents really appreciated having to support your child for FIVE years. They must be so proud of their little "angel".

And hey, as far as you needing to have an abortion....I freely admit I am no where CLOSE to being pro-life because there are FAR too many girls out there having kids that SHOULD NOT BE.

But you know, there was also this thing called ADOPTION, where people like YOU (who have sex & get pregnant with a kid they shouldnt be having & cant afford but dont want to get an abortion) give babies to people who WANT them and can AFFORD them and want to give them TWO parent families. Now, some ppl dont agree with my opinion (and I bet you're gonna be one of them, OP) but frankly, it IS better for a child to be raised in a family where they are WANTED by both parents, who dont NEED to be on welfare (like you've said you would be without support) and who dont think getting support from the NCP is more important than the NCP having a relationship with the child (because obviously you do not think that is important for a second, but you sure do think that $$$$ is important).

You know what, OP...you should TOTALLY file for support & go into court believing what Colleen thinks & what YOU think is going to happen, and then come back & tell us how it went.