Update and Questions

[chipmunk226]

She NEEDS to prove that he still has the cats because that is what puts dad in violation. Having dander is not a violation but the cats are. There is a major difference. If she cannot prove he still has cats she wastes the court's time.

The new court order reads as follows:

AND NOW, THIS 18TH DAY OF MAY, 2007, IT IS HEREBY ORDERED AS FOLLOWS:

THE FOLLOWING ORDER IS ENTERED BY AGREEMENT RESOLVING ALL OUTSTANDING PETITIONS:

FATHER WILL NOT HAVE CATS IN THE HOME: FATHER TESTIFIED HE HAS SANITIZED THE HOME SINCE REMOVING THE CATS.

My question is if my son is reacting so badly, isn't that proof that his father did not sanitize his house for cats? I know that it's hard to remove dander, but if his fathers house was cleaned thoroughly, I don't think it would still cause him to have an attack.

Sounds like you might have a long road with this guy...Have you considered the allergy shots? My husband went to a allergist (he got hives, swollen eyes and couldn't breath around cats) and was put on shots (1 every two weeks for 6 months) because of his allergies to cats, and after six months he stopped taking them but we now have 5 cats of our own...with no problems This was a few years ago...so maybe they have a better drug now? Some people also say that you can actually overcome your allergy if you are exposed to it enough I am convinced that this is what happened with my hubby (ever thought about getting a cat or two of your own?)

Eventually I hope he can outgrow the allergy, but right now I am not going to make the choice for him to 'get used to it'. I think that would be a selfish thing to do. The cats are not more important than my son's health and wellbeing. And I am a cat lover

We just came back from the ENT and right now allergy shots are not an option. In his case, he is allergic to 16 out of the 20 things he was tested for. The most severe were for the cats, dust mites and roaches. The ENT was concerned that getting the shots could cause an attack. Also, I can't start him on them now because he goes to his dads on the 10th and doesn't come back until 8/12. I have asked his father if he was willing to take him to a local doctor while he has him, but I've never gotten a response to that question. The ENT predicts that my son would have to have these shots for 5 years The ENT also Rx'd Nasocort to see if that helps with his congestion. So now my son is on 5 meds.

 

[Ohiogal]

Innocent question here.

What if Mom has no interest in finding him guility of contempt?? What if she just wants to modify to the existing court order again???

That is what I would do. I mean, granted, I'd be pissed that dad is not ensuring child is in a clean environment--and I would want him to pay BUT the bottom line is if my child had to go there for the summer and there was still dander etc and child is still sick, cant breathe, wheezing, sneezing, swollen eyes, (my kid even gets hives) then I would try to at least modify or something. A judge has a little common sense, I would think. I would hate to think that a judge is going to say "Tough, have the little kid wheeze all summer and have asthma attacks because I dont think you can PROVE that the cats are there or that the house has not been cleaned. I dont give a crap if he may die."

Law is law, I understand. And I dont want to get yelled at but there has got to be some common sense.

It has been two weeks. Unless there has been a substantial change NO judge is going to change a two week old order because mom is throwing a hissy fit. If she wanted to ensure that there was no dander or other allergens her house would have to pass the same test and NO HOUSE will be rid of any potential allergens.

 

[Ohiogal]

The new court order reads as follows:

AND NOW, THIS 18TH DAY OF MAY, 2007, IT IS HEREBY ORDERED AS FOLLOWS:

THE FOLLOWING ORDER IS ENTERED BY AGREEMENT RESOLVING ALL OUTSTANDING PETITIONS:

FATHER WILL NOT HAVE CATS IN THE HOME: FATHER TESTIFIED HE HAS SANITIZED THE HOME SINCE REMOVING THE CATS.

Prove the child is reacting to cat dander and not another allergen. YOU CANNOT.

My question is if my son is reacting so badly, isn't that proof that his father did not sanitize his house for cats? [/QUOTE

Nope. Sanitizing the house -- well define sanitize per the court. YOU CANNOT.

]I know that it's hard to remove dander, but if his fathers house was cleaned thoroughly, I don't think it would still cause him to have an attack.

But something else could have.

Eventually I hope he can outgrow the allergy, but right now I am not going to make the choice for him to 'get used to it'. I think that would be a selfish thing to do. The cats are not more important than my son's health and wellbeing. And I am a cat lover

That is neither here nor there.

We just came back from the ENT and right now allergy shots are not an option. In his case, he is allergic to 16 out of the 20 things he was tested for. The most severe were for the cats, dust mites and roaches.

Dust is WEVERYWHERE. EVERYWHERE. Prove it is dust in dad's house and not in the general public.

The ENT was concerned that getting the shots could cause an attack. Also, I can't start him on them now because he goes to his dads on the 10th and doesn't come back until 8/12. I have asked his father if he was willing to take him to a local doctor while he has him, but I've never gotten a response to that question. The ENT predicts that my son would have to have these shots for 5 years The ENT also Rx'd Nasocort to see if that helps with his congestion. So now my son is on 5 meds.

Okay.

 

[moburkes]

I was allergic to 95% of the things I was tested for, and my doc recommended shots 2x/week. Interesting.

 

[CJane]

My question is if my son is reacting so badly, isn't that proof that his father did not sanitize his house for cats?

In his case, he is allergic to 16 out of the 20 things he was tested for. The most severe were for the cats, dust mites and roaches.

Perhaps the fact that your son is having reactions is because there are dust mites, roaches, or any of the other 16 things your son is allergic to still in the environment?

You can't put the boy in a bubble. Sometimes, a kid (and a parent) just has to suck it up.

 

[chipmunk226]

Perhaps the fact that your son is having reactions is because there are dust mites, roaches, or any of the other 16 things your son is allergic to still in the environment?

You can't put the boy in a bubble. Sometimes, a kid (and a parent) just has to suck it up.

Man... I fell sorry for your kids.

Your right, but then why does my son only have attacks after coming from his dad's? The only difference from my house and his is the cats. We don't have roaches and I don't know if his dad does. Every HOME in America has dust mites, but while my son is with ME, he has not once had an attack. Why? Because I follow the simple directions on his prescriptions and keep him medicated.

No we can't put him in a bubble, but his dad needs to step up and be a responsible parent. Just because we can't get along doesn't mean that his health needs to fall by the wayside. I just don't understand why people would tell me to just suck it up and deal with this. If we were still together, we wouldn't just tell our child, you need to suck it up and be miserable because we as parents don't fell like being one. Give me a break.

I could understand if it this was all about triggers in the outside world, like the dust, pollen, grass etc. But it's not. His main trigger is the CATS. Easy fix, just don't have'em. There is no other explanation because with exception to the roaches [his dad lives in a metropolis so it's very likely he has them too] there is no difference to our households. It's not rocket science.

I can understand and sympathize with your skepticism, CJane, but I don't think it's right in the least.

Anywho, I have recontacted the lawyer that represented me for my expedited and he will be filing and emergency contempt due to the fact that my son's next visitation is for such a long period of time. We won't be asking for his visitation to be stopped all together, but he will either need to show proof of a professional cleaning or have his visitation elsewhere. I will also be filing to modify the summer visitation so that I can have every other weekend provided I go to where my son is for the visitation.

I will keep y'all updated

 

[CJane]

Man... I fell sorry for your kids.

Your right, I suppose. But I make 'em take their claritin and their rhinocort and deal with life as it comes. I can't control their environment, and neither can you, despite your attempts to do so.

Your right, but then why does my son only have attacks after coming from his dad's?

AFTER COMING HOME? Not while he's there????? Heh. His allergies are likely being triggered by the RETURN TO YOUR HOME, not by being at Dad's. In MY experience with MY kids that are allergic to lots of things... if they're going to have an 'attack' it's going to happen fairly immediately after exposure. Not days later. OR it's due to them not taking medications (their dad won't allow them to take their meds) but that (again, in my experience) is rarely forced upon the NCP.

The only difference from my house and his is the cats. We don't have roaches and I don't know if his dad does.

The ONLY difference? Even though you live in different states?

Every homo in America has dust mites

I'll alert my lesbian sister post haste.

, but while my son is with ME, he has not once had an attack. Why? Because I follow the simple directions on his prescriptions and keep him medicated.

First of all, you already said he has these attacks WITH YOU.

Second, is your issue with him not being medicated, or not being in a bubble?

No we can't put him in a bubble, but his dad needs to step up and be a responsible parent.

Prove he's being irresponsible as opposed to just not as vigilant as you. He got rid of his cats at your whim. That shows responsibility.

If we were still together, we wouldn't just tell our child, you need to suck it up and be miserable because we as parents don't fell like being one. Give me a break.

Sure you would. If you left for a weekend and left the child with his father, how would you KNOW FOR SURE that he remembered to give the kid meds? How would you KNOW FOR SURE that the kid didn't get anywhere near a cat, a roach, or a dust mite? You wouldn't.

I could understand if it this was all about triggers in the outside world, like the dust, pollen, grass etc. But it's not. His main trigger is the CATS. Easy fix, just don't have'em. There is no other explanation because with exception to the roaches [his dad lives in a metropolis so it's very likely he has them too] there is no difference to our households. It's not rocket science.

No, it's not rocket science. But you said yourself that your son's allergies are triggered by dust mites, cats and roaches. That all three of those are severe. So again... you CANNOT KNOW what allergens are in your kid's environment when he's at his Father's house.

I can understand and sympathize with your skepticism, CJane, but I don't think it's right in the least.

I have kids with allergies, and an ex who wants to blame it all on me. He wants to blame my smoking - and I don't smoke. He wants to blame the fact that I have cats - when he does too. He wants to blame the fact that I have a dog - when up til last summer he did too. He refuses to give the kids their meds, claiming they never have issues at his house. It's crap. So, my kids have to suck it up and deal.

 

[jbowman]

I'll alert my lesbian sister post haste.

BAHAHAH now THAT was comedy.

 

[GrowUp!]

Your right, but then why does my son only have attacks after coming from his dad's?

Guess what: you just kicked your own butt with this statement, IMO, as it speaks volumes and CJane called you out on it. IF there were any issues, the child would be reacting WHILE AT Dad's. The immune system isn't just going to "wait" to flare up until kiddo gets in your car. And that is EXACTLY what you are implying with that statement. Busted.

The only difference from my house and his is the cats.

The cats obviously are not the issue here, given your previous statement. Or will you start backpeddling now?

We don't have roaches and I don't know if his dad does.

Ummm....you're going WHERE with this (except further off the deep end)??

Every homo in America has dust mites,

Please cite statistical data to support your ignorant STATEMENT OF HATE!!!

but while my son is with ME, he has not once had an attack. Why?

That's NOT what you said earlier. Why are you backpeddling?

Because I follow the simple directions on his prescriptions and keep him medicated.

Obviously there's something else.

No we can't put him in a bubble, but his dad needs to step up and be a responsible parent.

According to your earlier statement, YOU are the one with the problem. Not Dad. But I am sure you'll change your story now.

Just because we can't get along doesn't mean that his health needs to fall by the wayside. I just don't understand why people would tell me to just suck it up and deal with this. If we were still together, we wouldn't just tell our child, you need to suck it up and be miserable because we as parents don't fell like being one. Give me a break.

No, Ms I Like To Blame Others, give US a break!!! While you're obsessed to the point that the music from "Psycho" should be playing, you're not even aware of what you're saying.

I could understand if it this was all about triggers in the outside world, like the dust, pollen, grass etc. But it's not.

Had an allergist stated this? Because according to your earlier statement, there IS a problem with those you cited.

His main trigger is the CATS. Easy fix, just don't have'em.

And you haven't proved he does have them. In fact, according to your statement, this isn't about the cats now.

There is no other explanation because with exception to the roaches [his dad lives in a metropolis so it's very likely he has them too] there is no difference to our households. It's not rocket science.

Congratulations on another ignorant statement. Are you always THIS stupid or just when posting on forums and blaming the ex for everthing because your head is so far up your backside, you don't know what you're saying?

I can understand and sympathize with your skepticism, CJane, but I don't think it's right in the least.

Then you're definitely not going to like me calling you out. And go ahead and respond..I'll serve it back at you.

Anywho, I have recontacted the lawyer that represented me for my expedited and he will be filing and emergency contempt due to the fact that my son's next visitation is for such a long period of time. We won't be asking for his visitation to be stopped all together, but he will either need to show proof of a professional cleaning or have his visitation elsewhere. I will also be filing to modify the summer visitation so that I can have every other weekend provided I go to where my son is for the visitation.

You and your attorney are BOTH morons. We should filp a coin to see who can be the Poster Child. A pro se who knows anything can easily shoot down your "emergency contempt" and then follow that up with a hearing for a Motion for Sanctions for filing a frivolous motion.

I will keep y'all updated

Yeah, please do. We like keeping up-to-date on people getting their ass handed to them.

 

[Just Blue]

Do you all think it is possible that chipmunk meant "every home in America has dust mites"?

 

[GrowUp!]

Do you all think it is possible that chipmunk meant "every home in America has dust mites"?

You mean every OTHER home in America because 'chipmunk' claims she doesn't have them. She must not be a homo, like the rest of us.

Homo SAPIEN.

What's a "chipmunk"? A vermint? LOL

 

[chipmunk226]

Your right, I suppose. But I make 'em take their claritin and their rhinocort and deal with life as it comes. I can't control their environment, and neither can you, despite your attempts to do so.



AFTER COMING HOME? Not while he's there????? Heh. His allergies are likely being triggered by the RETURN TO YOUR HOME, not by being at Dad's. In MY experience with MY kids that are allergic to lots of things... if they're going to have an 'attack' it's going to happen fairly immediately after exposure. Not days later. OR it's due to them not taking medications (their dad won't allow them to take their meds) but that (again, in my experience) is rarely forced upon the NCP.

When I speak to my son while at his dads, he will be congested coughing sneezing etc. Since I am not there, I don't know if he is having an attack per se or just uncomfortable.



The ONLY difference? Even though you live in different states?

Yep, We only live about 180 miles, not 1800.



I'll alert my lesbian sister post haste.

Obvious typo



First of all, you already said he has these attacks WITH YOU.

Second, is your issue with him not being medicated, or not being in a bubble?

The attacks don't start at my home, ONLY when I get him back after his visits



Prove he's being irresponsible as opposed to just not as vigilant as you. He got rid of his cats at your whim. That shows responsibility.

Only after 2 years of me taking my son to appt after appt and trying all types of allergy meds



Sure you would. If you left for a weekend and left the child with his father, how would you KNOW FOR SURE that he remembered to give the kid meds? How would you KNOW FOR SURE that the kid didn't get anywhere near a cat, a roach, or a dust mite? You wouldn't.

And his father not giving my son his meds is a problem in itself.






No, it's not rocket science. But you said yourself that your son's allergies are triggered by dust mites, cats and roaches. That all three of those are severe. So again... you CANNOT KNOW what allergens are in your kid's environment when he's at his Father's house.

Right, but my son started having these attacks only after his father got cats



I have kids with allergies, and an ex who wants to blame it all on me. He wants to blame my smoking - and I don't smoke. He wants to blame the fact that I have cats - when he does too. He wants to blame the fact that I have a dog - when up til last summer he did too. He refuses to give the kids their meds, claiming they never have issues at his house. It's crap. So, my kids have to suck it up and deal.

Well, I hope your kids well.

Guess what: you just kicked your own butt with this statement, IMO, as it speaks volumes and CJane called you out on it. IF there were any issues, the child would be reacting WHILE AT Dad's. The immune system isn't just going to "wait" to flare up until kiddo gets in your car. And that is EXACTLY what you are implying with that statement. Busted.

As you all have pointed out more then once, I am not there with him at his dads. I do know that everytime he is picked up his eyes are red, his nose itchy, he's coughing, sneezing, congested wheezing, etc. His father always says that it's from my home, but then why is he fine by the time he goes back to his fathers 2 weeks later and the the cycle starts all over again only after he comes back? You all want to pick apart every statement and twist it to fit your purpose, fine with me.


The cats obviously are not the issue here, given your previous statement. Or will you start backpeddling now?

How do you figure? What statement are you talking about? The only difference between my home and his is cats [and maybe roaches, don't know if dad has those]. When have I said anything otherwise?


Ummm....you're going WHERE with this (except further off the deep end)??

My point is that his fathers may or may not have roaches.




Please cite statistical data to support your ignorant STATEMENT OF HATE!!!

It was a typo. I see you'd rather attack me personally then help, but I'm not surprised


That's NOT what you said earlier. Why are you backpeddling?

Please show where I said something otherwise. IN CONTEXT, not just the part that fits your purpose.


Obviously there's something else.

Why does there HAVE to be something else?


According to your earlier statement, YOU are the one with the problem. Not Dad. But I am sure you'll change your story now.

WTF??? How do you figure? I am the one with the problem because I want my son healthy and happy? I really don't give a flying duck what his father does to himself, but I will not just sit back and allow him to not care for our son properly. ITS NOT ABOUT HIM, it's about my son being unhappy and uncomfortable while he is there.


No, Ms I Like To Blame Others, give US a break!!! While you're obsessed to the point that the music from "Psycho" should be playing, you're not even aware of what you're saying.

This made me laugh, thanks. You are the crazy one. I don't figure how I'm am obsessed. I am genuinely concerned and this had been going on for 2 YEARS not just 2 WEEKS. Your the obsessed one Ms. 1577 Posts of Talking Down To Others To Get My Rocks Off and Telling Them To Grow Up When I Need To Follow My Own Advice.


Had an allergist stated this? Because according to your earlier statement, there IS a problem with those you cited.

YES! Would you like me to forward you the report?


And you haven't proved he does have them. In fact, according to your statement, this isn't about the cats now.

Reading is Fundamental, go back and read where he testified IN COURT that he had cats and cleaned his house after getting rid of them.




Congratulations on another ignorant statement. Are you always THIS stupid or just when posting on forums and blaming the ex for everthing because your head is so far up your backside, you don't know what you're saying?

I was speaking specifically of the city he lives in, almost every home in this city has had a roach or two, it's very unlikely that the house has never had roaches. I never said that all big city has them, but once again, you are picking what you want out in order to suit your purpose, which is not to help, but because you have nothing better to do then to talk down to people. Move on to some other poster that you can fluster, 'cause I'm not the one


Then you're definitely not going to like me calling you out. And go ahead and respond..I'll serve it back at you.

And this proves my point that no matter what I say, you will have a problem with it and something negative to say. Get a life.


You and your attorney are BOTH morons. We should filp a coin to see who can be the Poster Child. A pro se who knows anything can easily shoot down your "emergency contempt" and then follow that up with a hearing for a Motion for Sanctions for filing a frivolous motion.

We'll just have to wait and see now won't we?


Yeah, please do. We like keeping up-to-date on people getting their ass handed to them.

 

[GrowUp!]

"....but then why does my son only have attacks after coming from his dad's?"

'Nuff said as that speaks volumes.

 

[jbowman]

I hate to keep this fire going but.... I understand what she is saying regarding the attacks coming when he gets home. The same thing happens to my child--if I take him to my brothers (who has multiple dogs and cats) he will be fine for the hour we are there. That evening, my son will be completely wheezy with red swollen eyes.

Dad has had my child and the dog licked his face, that evening when he came home, he started breaking out in hives. I asked him what he had been around. Son stated, the dog licked me right here. (on cheek).

One weekend my son was with his dad he went to Big Bear. The altitude was horrible for an asthmatic. When he came home to me, he was having a horrible time breathing. It doesnt happen instantaneously, guys. Jeese.

 

[GrowUp!]

It doesnt happen instantaneously, guys. Jeese.

That's not necessarily true. Again, depends on the individual's system. The body ain't gonna wait until after a weekend visit to flare up. A couple of hours -- possibly