Ex-husband moved 600 miles away

[GAMOMtired]

What is the name of your state? GA

My husband told me he wanted a divorce in Jan 2006, he was having a long distance relationship with a girl from his hometown while we were married. Our divorce was final that April,then in May he packed up and moved back to his hometown over 600 miles away and left me and our 5 year old daughter. Since that time he has only gotten her 4 times twice for 2 weeks and 2 weekends. He only calls her occassionally, not even once a month. Every time he wants to get her he wants me to meet him halfway. He is asking to get her for 2 weeks in July but wants me to meet him halfway, I cannot afford to do this with gas at $3 a gallon. I begged him not to move that far from her, but he said he deserved to be happy too and that he would see her once a month which of course has not happened. My divorce papers do not say that I have to meet him half way, but I am afraid he will file for modifications and a judge will require me to do this. I feel like he should be responsible for picking her up and bringing her home. He decided to move and I had no choice in the matter. Any advice?

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? GA

My husband told me he wanted a divorce in Jan 2006, he was having a long distance relationship with a girl from his hometown while we were married. Our divorce was final that April,then in May he packed up and moved back to his hometown over 600 miles away and left me and our 5 year old daughter. Since that time he has only gotten her 4 times twice for 2 weeks and 2 weekends. He only calls her occassionally, not even once a month. Every time he wants to get her he wants me to meet him halfway. He is asking to get her for 2 weeks in July but wants me to meet him halfway, I cannot afford to do this with gas at $3 a gallon. I begged him not to move that far from her, but he said he deserved to be happy too and that he would see her once a month which of course has not happened. My divorce papers do not say that I have to meet him half way, but I am afraid he will file for modifications and a judge will require me to do this. I feel like he should be responsible for picking her up and bringing her home. He decided to move and I had no choice in the matter. Any advice?

Tell him it was HIS choice to move 600 miles away and he can provide the transportation because of it. If he doesn't like it, he can travel back & forth the 1200mi round trip to your local court of Jurisdiction and try to convince a judge otherwise.

And, STOP driving 1/2 way...if you continue to do that, he will have some cause to try to prove you two have an 'agreement' for transportation.

 

[GAMOMtired]

I've told him that many times, he says I will have to explain to Lillie that I prevented her from getting to see him b/c I wouldn't cooperate. He also wants me to let her fly out there for older sister's wedding with her 19 yr old brother and his 18 yr old girlfriend and she has never flown before. She would have to fly from Atlanta to Baton Rouge. I'm just worried that he will take me back to court and convince a judge that I should meet him halfway every time he wants to see her.

 

[casa]

I've told him that many times, he says I will have to explain to Lillie that I prevented her from getting to see him b/c I wouldn't cooperate. He also wants me to let her fly out there for older sister's wedding with her 19 yr old brother and his 18 yr old girlfriend and she has never flown before. She would have to fly from Atlanta to Baton Rouge. I'm just worried that he will take me back to court and convince a judge that I should meet him halfway every time he wants to see her.

It is certainly a Judge's discretion what he/she rules...so there is always a chance a judge would assign you a % of responsibility for transportation. However, the X would have to travel to & fro to your court to fight it (costly) and it would take quite a bit of time.

Neither of you should discuss adult issues re; Custody/Visitation with the child.

A family wedding is a separate issue~ That's more of a special occasion & it would up to the parents to decide together.

 

[GAMOMtired]

I want her to go to the wedding, but I am concerned with her flying without one of us the first time. She is supposed to be the flower girl and I don't want her to miss out on that. I would feel better if any of his family kept in contact with her but they do not. She is 6 and she has only seen her grandparents have only seen her about twice a year since she was born. They do not even call her nor does the sister whose wedding she is supposed to be in. The only person who called her or sent a gift on her BD was her Dad.

 

[LdiJ]

I want her to go to the wedding, but I am concerned with her flying without one of us the first time. She is supposed to be the flower girl and I don't want her to miss out on that. I would feel better if any of his family kept in contact with her but they do not. She is 6 and she has only seen her grandparents have only seen her about twice a year since she was born. They do not even call her nor does the sister whose wedding she is supposed to be in. The only person who called her or sent a gift on her BD was her Dad.

I think that flying with her 19 year old brother and his girlfriend would probably be fine for her. On that one I think that you are over-reacting.

 

[casa]

I want her to go to the wedding, but I am concerned with her flying without one of us the first time. She is supposed to be the flower girl and I don't want her to miss out on that. I would feel better if any of his family kept in contact with her but they do not. She is 6 and she has only seen her grandparents have only seen her about twice a year since she was born. They do not even call her nor does the sister whose wedding she is supposed to be in. The only person who called her or sent a gift on her BD was her Dad.

Most airlines allow 6 yr olds to fly...even without an older teen sibling. I think she'd be OK on the flight~ and for the trip since it's a special occasion & they are honoring her by asking her to be in the Bridal party.

 

[GAMOMtired]

I felt like she would be ok also, I asked her if she would like to do that and she was very excited.

 

[Neal1421]

Just a side note though, don't send her unless she has a round-trip ticket otherwise you might end up footing the bill for her return.

 

[GAMOMtired]

I thought about that, but a one way ticket is much more expensive so he wouldn't do that. It would cost him more money.

 

[GrowUp!]

What is the name of your state? GA

My husband told me he wanted a divorce in Jan 2006, he was having a long distance relationship with a girl from his hometown while we were married. Our divorce was final that April,then in May he packed up and moved back to his hometown over 600 miles away and left me and our 5 year old daughter. Since that time he has only gotten her 4 times twice for 2 weeks and 2 weekends. He only calls her occassionally, not even once a month. Every time he wants to get her he wants me to meet him halfway. He is asking to get her for 2 weeks in July but wants me to meet him halfway, I cannot afford to do this with gas at $3 a gallon. I begged him not to move that far from her, but he said he deserved to be happy too and that he would see her once a month which of course has not happened. My divorce papers do not say that I have to meet him half way, but I am afraid he will file for modifications and a judge will require me to do this. I feel like he should be responsible for picking her up and bringing her home. He decided to move and I had no choice in the matter. Any advice?

Although you stated that your order does not state that you have to split the transportation costs, does it state anything about transportation?? It should. It is customary for each parent to pick up the child at the beginning of their parenting time (meaning his picks them up...then you do at the end). If not, check your court rules and/or state statutes to see if it possibly states it there. I take it you two never went back to court to address the long-distance traveling.

Stop meeting him halfway, or as casa pointed out, if he does file for a modification, you driving halfway could bite you. Check your order for transporation language. Also, what did you two do BEFORE he moved??

Him moving was HIS choice. You can not stop him from moving on and living HIS life. But that doesn't mean you have to cater to him either.

 

[GAMOMtired]

No we never went back to court, he packed up and left all he was worried about at that time was getting away from GA and getting to his family and his girlfriend. We were only holding him back. Our papers don't say anything about transportation at all. When he lived here he was living within walking distance so it was not a problem. I have only met him once to pick her up. He's only gotten her twice to go out there. He's only gotten her on 4 occasions in the last year for 2 weeks last summer, 2 weeks at Thanksgiving, a weekend about 3 weeks ago he visited her here, and last year when he moved he took her with him for a few days.