can I sue not so good samaritan

[BoredAtty]

I went to grade school in the fifties, in El Paso, Texas. Corporal punishment was quite common in the school. I must admit, I deserved to get my ass whupped by the Principal every once in a while. Ya see, in the fifties and sixties, this country wasn't experienceing the insanity of random violence that is so prevalent in our society today, especially amongst the youth. Now a days kids are taught at the public schools on how to dial 911 if they think their parents are mistreating them. So people say that if certain rules are not enforced then that puts all children in jeopardy. So we must not spank even one child, lest you do, then pay the piper. Nah, better yet, let our misguided goodness lead us in to anarchy. Hey, then we can start over.

Like you, my mother grew up in the "good ole days" of the 1950s. Her father was an abusive monster who beat the crap outta her and her brother every couple of days. Despite clear signs of serious abuse, no teacher, no neighbor, and certainly not my mother or uncle, ever called the police. Even if they did, the likelihood that charges would be pressed against her father for "disciplining" his kids was probably slim and none. Nowadays, he'd be in prison.

I think I like it better now, even if that means a few swats on a bratty kid's ass could land Pop in jail overnight.

 

[troubles]

I don't think you have a case for defamation either.

Statements made to police are generally protected by "qualified privilege." That is, statements that may otherwise be defamatory will be protected when made to police. To overcome this privilege in a defamation suit, you must prove that the bystander acted with malice. The policy behind this rule is to prevent a chilling effect where people are afraid to report possible crimes for fear of being found liable for defamation in subsequent lawsuits.

You claim that the bystander "went on what she heard and what she thought happened." If the woman thought that you had done the things that she accused you of doing, clearly she did not act with malice even if she was ultimately wrong.

IT DOES NOT Really matter if I win a lawsuit against the woman , I am glad the charges will be dropped, but the arrest report will always be there. Honestly what I want and deserve, is a apology from that woman, I want her to say I am sorry, and that I am A GOOD father, it is something I take seriously, my wife and I WAITED TO HAVE OUR FIRST CHILD UNTILL SHE GRADUATED COLLAGE AND WE BOTH HAD A CHANCE TO GET THE WILD OUT OF US. being a parent is a incredible joy. but this woman took a lot from us as a family that day, she went on what she heard, and clearly from the tape not what she saw. and because her call to 911 sounded so urgent, the police who showed up very quickly, to find my daughter in my arms behaving, yet the woman still lied and I seriously believe that because I am a man and it was a woman saying such hurtful accusations, that the police failed to believe me even though my wife sowed up 5 minutes into the ordeal, and validated my story, and that she has know me since we were kids, and I have never been violent, towards women, or children, .. I feel our rights as parents are being taken away, and it is a sad day when a person can says something about you that destroys your life even for awhile, is tolerated. this has and will have reprucutions on my family, the woman deserves to know what she did to us, and should be punished.

 

[Ozark_Sophist]

I believe I would have called the police as well. (In a short time, I will be mandated by law as a mandatory reporter). I would let the police determine the situation while avoiding a direct confrontation (to the extent the dictated by the situation).

You could sue the woman, but then you would not get an apology. You would end up with court costs and attorneys fees (hers and yours)

 

[fairisfair]

IT DOES NOT Really matter if I win a lawsuit against the woman , I am glad the charges will be dropped, but the arrest report will always be there. Honestly what I want and deserve, is a apology from that woman, I want her to say I am sorry, and that I am A GOOD father, it is something I take seriously, my wife and I WAITED TO HAVE OUR FIRST CHILD UNTILL SHE GRADUATED COLLAGE AND WE BOTH HAD A CHANCE TO GET THE WILD OUT OF US. being a parent is a incredible joy. but this woman took a lot from us as a family that day, she went on what she heard, and clearly from the tape not what she saw. and because her call to 911 sounded so urgent, the police who showed up very quickly, to find my daughter in my arms behaving, yet the woman still lied and I seriously believe that because I am a man and it was a woman saying such hurtful accusations, that the police failed to believe me even though my wife sowed up 5 minutes into the ordeal, and validated my story, and that she has know me since we were kids, and I have never been violent, towards women, or children, .. I feel our rights as parents are being taken away, and it is a sad day when a person can says something about you that destroys your life even for awhile, is tolerated. this has and will have reprucutions on my family, the woman deserves to know what she did to us, and should be punished.

you are enraged because you ARE a good parent.

What if it had been some other man with your daughter in his arms that day? you would be on your knees thanking that woman for getting involved.

So be a good parent. and get over it.

 

[fairisfair]

I believe I would have called the police as well. (In a short time, I will be mandated by law as a mandatory reporter). I would let the police determine the situation while avoiding a direct confrontation (to the extent the dictated by the situation).

You could sue the woman, but then you would not get an apology. You would end up with court costs and attorneys fees (hers and yours)

I would have too, guess he can hate us all.

 

[troubles]

I would have too, guess he can hate us all.

I don't hate you, or the woman, I am mad, because the one thing I thought in this world would never happen is that I would be accused of being a bad father. any of you who say you would do the same thing makes me wonder if you are parents, and if you are parents, what would you do seriously, if a stranger accused you of being a bad parent, had you arrested, and lied about the circumstance's. then you get proof that what she did was a blatant lie. any person who feels like they are a good parent would be very offended. plus the arrest report will not go away, I find it hard to understand why so many of you do not know what I am trying to say. the fact that I was even accused of hurting her is emotionally draining, it hurts. then I am further humiliated by being taken to jail, and under the current law denied bail for a full day so that the victim has time to do whatever, they called my wife to let her know I was given bail so she could fill out a restraining order. MY WIFE WAS THERE IN A HALF HOUR TO GET ME OUT..
:
I understand that none of you know me, but if you did you would know my character, that my kids , and my wife are the most important people in my life, that I am a good father.
:
I KNOW I have gotten my answer and I appreciate that you all were honest, I will try and not continue replying and let this issue drop you are all probably tired of it, . every time I get a reply I guess I want to validate that I would not hurt them, and how much I want to hear it from the woman who did this to us. again thanks to you all even though it was definitely not what I thought I was going to hear from you. I hope nothing like this happens to any of you. it will change your life.

 

[quincy]

troubles - I think we ALL understand, especially those of us who are parents, how hard all of this must be for you. And we are not blaming you for any of this (well...some didn't like the spanking....). What I think all of us are saying is that we also all understand the woman who called and we can see ourselves doing exactly what she did. It could because you are a man with a little girl - which is totally unfair to fathers everywhere, I know, but I think your wife may have been treated differently - and the numerous reports of children being abducted (it is NOT that common, but news reports make it seem that it is), but I honestly don't believe this woman was purposely or maliciously trying to harm you in any way...she was just trying to protect your daughter.

 

[Ozark_Sophist]

Around here any domestic violence arrest is a 20 hour hold to allow for the victim to get a restraining order, move, or whatever. What is unfair is the local PD had a policy to arrest someone anytime they got a dv call. You can't sue the woman for public policy. You are just as much liable for the policy as any other voter.

 

[fairisfair]

troubles - I think we ALL understand, especially those of us who are parents, how hard all of this must be for you. And we are not blaming you for any of this (well...some didn't like the spanking....). What I think all of us are saying is that we also all understand the woman who called and we can see ourselves doing exactly what she did. It could because you are a man with a little girl - which is totally unfair to fathers everywhere, I know, but I think your wife may have been treated differently - and the numerous reports of children being abducted (it is NOT that common, but news reports make it seem that it is), but I honestly don't believe this woman was purposely or maliciously trying to harm you in any way...she was just trying to protect your daughter.

well said Quincy!!

and by the way troubles, most of us here are parents.

 

[BoredAtty]

but I honestly don't believe this woman was purposely or maliciously trying to harm you in any way...she was just trying to protect your daughter.

This deserves some applause. Well said.

 

[>Charlotte<]

Mother and grandmother, here. And wife, daughter, sister, aunt, mother-in-law, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, etc. Or, in more PC terms, 100% Estrogen-American.

Troubles, if you're being 100% honest with how this went down, I can understand your frustration (and it sounds like everyone else can, too.) But sometimes bad things happen for which there is just no remedy.

You said you want her to apologize. Do you want her to say "sorry" or do you want her to be sorry? If she apologized to you, it wouldn't be sincere. And you can't make her feel regret. You say it's not about suing for money, it's about your outrage at what you were accused of, and that the incident is on record. An apology from her isn't going to change that.

You said the charges would be dropped. As far as a record of the arrest is concerned, here is a question for those here that would know: an expungement would take care of that for him, right? I realize nothing ever completely "goes away" but that would bury it about as far as it's ever going to get buried, wouldn't it?

Edit: No, wait--I'm pretty sure the process of expungement would only apply in cases of actual conviction. But I'm going to leave the question in case I'm wrong about that.

 

[fairisfair]

Mother and grandmother, here. And wife, daughter, sister, aunt, mother-in-law, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, etc. Or, in more PC terms, 100% Estrogen-American.

Troubles, if you're being 100% honest with how this went down, I can understand your frustration (and it sounds like everyone else can, too.) But sometimes bad things happen for which there is just no remedy.

You said you want her to apologize. Do you want her to say "sorry" or do you want her to be sorry? If she apologized to you, it wouldn't be sincere. And you can't make her feel regret. You say it's not about suing for money, it's about your outrage at what you were accused of, and that the incident is on record. An apology from her isn't going to change that.

You said the charges would be dropped. As far as a record of the arrest is concerned, here is a question for those here that would know: an expungement would take care of that for him, right? I realize nothing ever completely "goes away" but that would bury it about as far as it's ever going to get buried, wouldn't it?

Edit: No, wait--I'm pretty sure the process of expungement would only apply in cases of actual conviction. But I'm going to leave the question in case I'm wrong about that.

Yes, he can petition the court to expunge the arrest record.

Personally, I didn't think he was quite ready for that info yet, as he is still very. very angry, and now will have another court procedure to attend to, but since you brought it up, we may as well let him have it now.

http://www.in.gov/legislative/ic/code/title35/ar38/ch5.html

 

[fairisfair]

This deserves some applause. Well said.

get out of my head!!!! LOL