Any advice for exparte tomorrow in CA?

[NITM]

What is the name of your state? CA

CP is taking NCP (my husband) in on an exparte hearing tomorrow morning to try and force NCP to let stepson (16 yrs old) work all summer at the job CP allowed and encouraged stepson to obtain without consult or approval from NCP, and which interferes with NCP's court ordered visitation times. NCP would have no problem with son working, except that he's brought home 3 F's on every report card for the past 4 years and is flunking out of high school. As an additional reward for failing grades, CP has also enrolled son in driving school and is buying him a new Hummer H3. Anything to thwart visits with NCP is the usual mode of operation. His education is a non-issue to CP and tells son that "grades aren't important when you have money".

Will showing judge son's report cards have any affect? Any advice? We figure, as usual, that the judge will buy CP's lies, hook line and sinker. What else is new?

 

[NITM]

Oops . . . it's my "stepson" . . . their "son". Sorry for the confusion.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? CA

CP is taking NCP (my husband) in on an exparte hearing tomorrow morning to try and force NCP to let stepson (16 yrs old) work all summer at the job CP allowed and encouraged stepson to obtain without consult or approval from NCP, and which interferes with NCP's court ordered visitation times. NCP would have no problem with son working, except that he's brought home 3 F's on every report card for the past 4 years and is flunking out of high school. As an additional reward for failing grades, CP has also enrolled son in driving school and is buying him a new Hummer H3. Anything to thwart visits with NCP is the usual mode of operation. His education is a non-issue to CP and tells son that "grades aren't important when you have money".

Will showing judge son's report cards have any affect? Any advice? We figure, as usual, that the judge will buy CP's lies, hook line and sinker. What else is new?

Do you and she live so far apart that its not feasible for the child to have a summer job and still spend time with your husband? Kids of that age usually have summer jobs, and yes, it can sometimes be a hassle for the parent to provide transportation to work, but its also a good way to help learn responsibility.

I don't see how report cards can have any effect on a summer job situation.

 

[Ohiogal]

Definitely bring the report cards but also dad is going to have to show how the grades are affected by him having a summer job if he wants to make that leap. He should bring them and also concentrate on how the job interferes with his visitation and this is the latest in a string of incidences.

 

[NITM]

We live around 45 miles from CP and son's job is around 20 miles farther than that. Also NCP works over 100 miles in opposite direction and has no way to transport him to job. His point is that CP even allowed son to gave job before school was even over, when he should have been studying and is already losing visitation time because son also has to attend summer school for failed classes. NCP feels son should learn to be responsible for his schoolwork and attendance before he's earned the privilege of having a job. Also, in the same breath, CP wants to take away his visitation so she can ask for more child support as well (her other goal in life). NCP feels that he shouldn't be penalized for it.

 

[NITM]

CP is one of those types who would prefer that son flunks out of high school just so she can receive an additional year of child support payments. She could shoot NCP in the courtroom and the judge wouldn't even slap her hand. NCP has brought her in on contempt with 8 police reports and still nothing. He's thinking he should just give up.

 

[nextwife]

If the kid flunked classes, he SHOULD be in summer school!

 

[fairisfair]

so,
mom wants the child to fail school, so she can get at dad

she put the child in summer school , so she can get at dad

she allowed the child to get a job, so she can get at dad

she wants more child support (but hasn't filed for it) so she can get at dad

c'mon.

 

[NITM]

NCP isn't arguing that son shouldn't be in summer school, but that CP does absolutely nothing to ensure he does his homework or studies or even goes to school for that matter, so he wouldn't be flunking. Son misses an average of 30 days of school per year! CP takes him out for vacations, misses an entire day for a "dentist appt", always pretends to be "sick", etc. He's also been labeled a Truant by the school district. NCP just wants to work something out so he can at least get two weeks of visits this summer. Son can work when it's CP's time (which is most of the time). Job is only one of 50 "towel boys" at a beach resort and they are very flexible, however, CP just wants an excuse to eliminate any and all visitations, per usual.

 

[NITM]

Fairisfair: Yes, you've got it. I agree it sounds outrageous, but we're not exaggerating at all. This woman is satan's handmaiden, believe me. We don't get it either - no one gets it. They've been divorced for 15 years and she's been remarried (to an attorney) and has two other children by him . . . why can't she get over it? That's NCP's problem - who is going to believe him. I'd never believe it myself if I havn't been living it for the past 6 years. She lives to harass and torture NCP at any cost. There's no low she won't stoop to. She sends 3-4 demand letters and harassing phone calls per month for current child support that has always been paid in full each month for 16 years. She screams derogatory remarks at NCP and holds son hostage every time he picks him up for visits until he has to call the police to intervene. We don't know what to do anymore. Obviously, police reports mean nothing in this state.

 

[NITM]

And no, mom didn't "put" the child in summer school . . . he was required to attend summer school by the district. And in prior years, mom has taken him OUT of 6 consecutive days of his summer school for a vacation, so he didn't even get credit for it! Yes, that's how nuts she is.

 

[NITM]

Not to mention that just last Wednesday, mom lied and said son had a doctor appt so don't bother with the midweek visit. Later that evening, son told dad he didn't have any doctor appt and doesn't know what mom was talking about. Too late to get a police report by then - exactly, and she knows that - got away with another one! This is how she operates. Not a word is uttered from her lips that is true.

 

[Ohiogal]

Not to mention that just last Wednesday, mom lied and said son had a doctor appt so don't bother with the midweek visit. Later that evening, son told dad he didn't have any doctor appt and doesn't know what mom was talking about. Too late to get a police report by then - exactly, and she knows that - got away with another one! This is how she operates. Not a word is uttered from her lips that is true.

He cannot just get a police report. HE HAS TO SHOW UP FOR HIS TIME. If mom denies it and dad is there then he can get a police report to prove contempt> Him just calling the cops because mom says son has a doctor's appointment don't come and dad doesn't show is not contempt. DAD NEEDS TO SHOW UP FOR HIS TIME!

 

[NITM]

He always does show up for his time, but in this case he made the mistake of believing that his son had a doctor's appt. He DIDN'T call the cops this time - he knows he can't if he's not there. That was the CP's objective - get him to fall for the old "doctor appt" lie and get away with preventing another visit. NCP did go for his Wed. visit yesterday though and CP/son wasn't there AGAIN, so he did call the cops and get a police report. He also has another police report from Feb (President's day weekend).

 

[LdiJ]

This is a little late in the thread....but I just thought that I would throw this out there....

If I had a teen who was flunking school, I wouldn't consider a summer job to be a "privilege", I would consider it to be a requirement.

I would probably also make the child work on weekends during the school year too....so that the child's time was completely consumed by school and work.....as an object lesson.

Then, I would be making the child pay some rent (which I would put away in savings for the child, but not tell the child) and for everything else the child wants, so that the child understands just how far minimum wage income, does NOT go.

Now, clearly this mom's motivation in most things is to keep the child away from dad, but I thought I would throw that out there anyway.