Any advice for exparte tomorrow in CA?

[NITM]

I understand what you're saying, but this particular job is more like a playday on the beach, which is the ONLY reason the son would even want to do it or anything else. He delivers beverages & towels to celebrities on the beach at a high end resort and all his friends work there too. NCP feels son should be enrolled in some kind of study group or learning center for the summer, besides summer school, and should be mowing lawns, washing cars and other non-fun jobs at home in between, plus an appropriate amount of "grounding". The same day we receive another 3 F report card, NCP will call son only to hear that he's out at his friend's house (and it's 8:30pm on a school night!), or at another party, amusement park, etc, if it's the weekend. There are no consequenses whatsoever for anything son does, EXCEPT if he wants to be with dad and/or exhibits any approval of dad in mother's presence. Then mom's screaming at him, takes the cell phone away, etc. The only punishment she's more than willing to dole out for bad grades or anything else is to refuse visits with dad.

I'm curious to hear from NCP later this morning as to the extent of CP's lies in her court paperwork. It's usually beyond our wildest imagination. It's simply amazing what she gets away with. But it's expected since she's a former legal secretary and is married to an attorney. You know how it is . . . whoever tells the best lies wins. The thing is we don't even need to lie and no one believes it anyway because her antics are so outrageous.

 

[casa]

I understand what you're saying, but this particular job is more like a playday on the beach, which is the ONLY reason the son would even want to do it or anything else. He delivers beverages & towels to celebrities on the beach at a high end resort and all his friends work there too. NCP feels son should be enrolled in some kind of study group or learning center for the summer, besides summer school, and should be mowing lawns, washing cars and other non-fun jobs at home in between, plus an appropriate amount of "grounding". The same day we receive another 3 F report card, NCP will call son only to hear that he's out at his friend's house (and it's 8:30pm on a school night!), or at another party, amusement park, etc, if it's the weekend. There are no consequenses whatsoever for anything son does, EXCEPT if he wants to be with dad and/or exhibits any approval of dad in mother's presence. Then mom's screaming at him, takes the cell phone away, etc. The only punishment she's more than willing to dole out for bad grades or anything else is to refuse visits with dad.

I'm curious to hear from NCP later this morning as to the extent of CP's lies in her court paperwork. It's usually beyond our wildest imagination. It's simply amazing what she gets away with. But it's expected since she's a former legal secretary and is married to an attorney. You know how it is . . . whoever tells the best lies wins. The thing is we don't even need to lie and no one believes it anyway because her antics are so outrageous.

It's 'rule of thumb' that occasional denials of visitation can be expected, ie; once in awhile there may be legitimate reasons to miss a visit or two...However, in this case, Dad needs to get a police report EVERY SINGLE TIME he is denied. This shows a pattern of behavior...and a stack of police reports WILL eventually bring attention to that fact.

Re; school~ Truancy and failing grades are taken seriously and Dad should definately have those documents filed into the court file. They must be properly served upon all parties and in a timely manner prior to any court hearings~ or the court/judge won't even consider them.

Unfortunately, I'm late on this thread...and would appreciate an update after the ex parte today.

 

[fairisfair]

It's 'rule of thumb' that occasional denials of visitation can be expected, ie; once in awhile there may be legitimate reasons to miss a visit or two...However, in this case, Dad needs to get a police report EVERY SINGLE TIME he is denied. This shows a pattern of behavior...and a stack of police reports WILL eventually bring attention to that fact.

Re; school~ Truancy and failing grades are taken seriously and Dad should definately have those documents filed into the court file. They must be properly served upon all parties and in a timely manner prior to any court hearings~ or the court/judge won't even consider them.

Unfortunately, I'm late on this thread...and would appreciate an update after the ex parte today.

Nice to see you back, late or not!!!

 

[casa]

Nice to see you back, late or not!!!

Thanks I've been off with the kiddos frolicking in the sun & sand

 

[NITM]

I'll let NCP know that - thanks. And I will post what happened at exparte when NCP calls.

 

[NITM]

Update re exparte . . .

An update to my previous post re exparte this morning . . .

CP didn't have correct documents so hearing was postponed until 1:30. NCP spoke to CP and she told him that the whole reason she's there today is to file a "restraining order" for son's work . . . WHAT?? And NCP said she was in the "Domestic Violence" area/room . . . again, WHAT?? We knew it would be something completely insane! NCP is willing to go to mediation and work around son's work schedule as he'd like to at least get him for two of the four weeks he's entitled to in their court order. That warrants a restraining order?? How could she think she's getting a restraining order with no police report against NCP and NCP has never contacted son's work or done anything of the sort? So this is just another frivolous game CP's playing to make NCP lose a days wages by missing work today. CP also said she wants NCP's wages attached again, but she doesn't want to go through DCSS. She closed the case with DCSS last Sept. because she can't harass NCP as much that way and DCSS never concurred with her constant claims that he owes support. In fact, DCSS always confirms that NCP has usually "overpaid". So she closed the case so she can harass NCP all on her own. NCP told her no way, and that he'll be happy to open up the case with DCSS again if she prefers a garnishment, otherwise she'll start harassing and writing his employer again. NCP is going to open his mouth when they see the judge about what an unnecessary waste of the court's time CP's exparte filing is and that he's now lost a days wages for something he was already willing to compromise with.

Any suggestions? I'm so angry right now.

 

[casa]

An update to my previous post re exparte this morning . . .

CP didn't have correct documents so hearing was postponed until 1:30. NCP spoke to CP and she told him that the whole reason she's there today is to file a "restraining order" for son's work . . . WHAT?? And NCP said she was in the "Domestic Violence" area/room . . . again, WHAT?? We knew it would be something completely insane! NCP is willing to go to mediation and work around son's work schedule as he'd like to at least get him for two of the four weeks he's entitled to in their court order. That warrants a restraining order?? How could she think she's getting a restraining order with no police report against NCP and NCP has never contacted son's work or done anything of the sort? So this is just another frivolous game CP's playing to make NCP lose a days wages by missing work today. CP also said she wants NCP's wages attached again, but she doesn't want to go through DCSS. She closed the case with DCSS last Sept. because she can't harass NCP as much that way and DCSS never concurred with her constant claims that he owes support. In fact, DCSS always confirms that NCP has usually "overpaid". So she closed the case so she can harass NCP all on her own. NCP told her no way, and that he'll be happy to open up the case with DCSS again if she prefers a garnishment, otherwise she'll start harassing and writing his employer again. NCP is going to open his mouth when they see the judge about what an unnecessary waste of the court's time CP's exparte filing is and that he's now lost a days wages for something he was already willing to compromise with.

Any suggestions? I'm so angry right now.

One suggestion is not to remark on what Is or Is Not a waste of the court's time.

She can request a Restraining Order~ but that doesn't mean she'll get one. She'll have to show cause that one is necessary...if Dad has never been to son's work or complained to his employers, then that won't fly.

I'd recommend Dad go ahead and re-open the case with DCSS and voluntary wage garnishment...and if she harasses his employer, then he needs to have his employer write a declaration/affidavit to that effect for him to file into the court file for future reference. DCSS and Employer records/reporting of her calls and false claims only strengthen Dad's case in the long run.

Off Topic~ I find it amusing that she's married to an Attorney, a legal secretary herself & still wasn't able to file the correct documents??

 

[NITM]

Thanks. I called NCP and told him. Dad has never been to son's work, called or even thought about either - he would never even consider driving all the way down there. There's not one single police report on NCP either, for the entire 14 years they've been divorced - she has nothing but her invented tales. He's curious to see what her reasons are to justify a TRO when they go back at 1:30. Knowing her, she'll say he showed up with a gun or something. We wouldn't be surprised. CP is already yelling at him that she refuses to go through DCSS for support again because "they screw everything up" and that if NCP reopens case with DCSS, she'll make him pay for her attorney fees for a wage garnishment (What??), then she stomped away. We never understand what she's talking about. She thinks she's above the law because of her former legal experience (and her husband is a personal injury attorney, not family law). She demands that NCP follow the law according to CP, not according to the state of CA. She's such a professional that when things go her way in court, she laughs and makes mocking faces at us in the hallway outside the courtroom and inside the elevator. I never knew such a nightmare of a human being could exist. I'll post what happens this afternoon.

 

[casa]

Thanks. I called NCP and told him. Dad has never been to son's work, called or even thought about either - he would never even consider driving all the way down there. There's not one single police report on NCP either, for the entire 14 years they've been divorced - she has nothing but her invented tales. He's curious to see what her reasons are to justify a TRO when they go back at 1:30. Knowing her, she'll say he showed up with a gun or something. We wouldn't be surprised. CP is already yelling at him that she refuses to go through DCSS for support again because "they screw everything up" and that if NCP reopens case with DCSS, she'll make him pay for her attorney fees for a wage garnishment (What??), then she stomped away. We never understand what she's talking about. She thinks she's above the law because of her former legal experience (and her husband is a personal injury attorney, not family law). She demands that NCP follow the law according to CP, not according to the state of CA. She's such a professional that when things go her way in court, she laughs and makes mocking faces at us in the hallway outside the courtroom and inside the elevator. I never knew such a nightmare of a human being could exist. I'll post what happens this afternoon.

She won't have any attorney's fees is your husband goes through DCSS, what is she talking about? Attorney's fees for what?

With people like this...you need to NOT participate in the insanity as much as possible. Stop answering her calls, let them all go to voice mail. Have correspondence be in writing (email or snail mail). She will likely react to being shut down & her reaction will only help your husband when she finally loses it on voicemail or email. Just breathe through it, have husband focus on his son - provide any/all documentation he possibly can (police reports, truancy, report cards, Dr's records from dates he was or was not there, etc.) and then give her enough rope to hang herself.

 

[NITM]

That's what I wondered . . . what attorney fees?? That's how it is with everything she says or writes. Nothing makes any sense. We had our home phone shut off long ago because of her. I keep telling NCP to just hang up on her and don't play the game - I'll tell him what you said. She always leaves messages saying he's going to jail (because it's "June" and she wants her "June" child support), etc., - it's sheer nonsense. She already cashed the check last week and guaranteed next week she'll be badgering about July's payment already. A lot of her harassment is through constant letters - all of them absurd. And she always times them to arrive on a visitation weekend to stress out NCP. All of her letters are sent with the intention only being to harass & annoy. NCP responds in writing because he's afraid if he doesn't, she'll claim he "never disagreed" with whatever ridiculous statements she's making. Should we not even respond to her letters?

 

[casa]

That's what I wondered . . . what attorney fees?? That's how it is with everything she says or writes. Nothing makes any sense. We had our home phone shut off long ago because of her. I keep telling NCP to just hang up on her and don't play the game - I'll tell him what you said. She always leaves messages saying he's going to jail (because it's "June" and she wants her "June" child support), etc., - it's sheer nonsense. She already cashed the check last week and guaranteed next week she'll be badgering about July's payment already. A lot of her harassment is through constant letters - all of them absurd. And she always times them to arrive on a visitation weekend to stress out NCP. All of her letters are sent with the intention only being to harass & annoy. NCP responds in writing because he's afraid if he doesn't, she'll claim he "never disagreed" with whatever ridiculous statements she's making. Should we not even respond to her letters?

He should respond to the letters, addressing only what is relevant to the son...and anything that is absurd/ridiculous he can simply reply along the lines of "I do not know what you are referring to".

Definately have him let ALL calls go to voice mail. What he NEEDS to realize is that he must gather absolutely EVERYTHING in the way of documentation of her antics, allegations and general refusal to co-parent cooperatively.

Letters which are 'nutty' and voice mails as well...are admissable in court

 

[NITM]

Thanks so much - will do! Dad's written responses to her are worded very carefully as we know they could be read by a judge someday.

I'm just sick waiting to hear what's happened in court.

 

[casa]

Thanks so much - will do! Dad's written responses to her are worded very carefully as we know they could be read by a judge someday.

I'm just sick waiting to hear what's happened in court.

I'm rather curious to find out myself.

 

[NITM]

Update - NCP didn't get out of court/mediation until they closed yesterday. Thank goodness the judge didn't go for any of CP's BS with the restraining order and immediately dismissed it. I can't believe the absurdity of her statements! She even checked the box on the form to request that NCP be forced to attend a "batterers" program! She also requested that ALL visitation whatsoever be terminated. OMG! Then she tried to say that "we" harass "her" with our letters. NCP told the judge that any letter sent to her is only in reply to the nonsensical garbage she mails to us. The judge also wouldn't even hear about her "child support" complaints when he saw all the copies of cancelled checks and DCSS printout. Then they had to spend the rest of the time in mediation and NCP did get the summer vacation time with son that he requested. So all in all it turned out well, despite him having to lose a days wages. Judge also remarked to CP that she needs to cooperate/communicate in a civil manner with NCP, and that this entire matter could ahve been avoided if she had done so. Thanks so much for your advice!