Mother dragging son to psychologist

[fairisfair]

Oh come on Fair. Bliss was someone that we could have liked and we want to sway her from the error of her ways. Apparently we should give up on her though cause she is a lost cause?

Dang. that is sad. She said she was leaving but as I write this she is still here. Maybe hoping we beg her to stay.

Personally, I don't think she is a lost cause, I just think she is lost. But you know me, always sticking up for the underdogs, even when they don't deserve it. She has at least continued to insist that she loves this child. That counts for at least a little something.

She isn't leaving. She can't leave, not until we fix her.

 

[Ohiogal]

Personally, I don't think she is a lost cause, I just think she is lost. But you know me, always sticking up for the underdogs, even when they don't deserve it. She has at least continued to insist that she loves this child. That counts for at least a little something.

She isn't leaving. She can't leave, not until we fix her.

Well I think that constitutes begging. But in order to be fixed she has to face that she is broken. And I don't think she is there yet. And yes I know she has at least continued to insist she loves the child. It counts for a little something but she refuses to admit that mom loves her son as well and that mom would do anything out of love.

 

[fairisfair]

Well I think that constitutes begging. But in order to be fixed she has to face that she is broken. And I don't think she is there yet. And yes I know she has at least continued to insist she loves the child. It counts for a little something but she refuses to admit that mom loves her son as well and that mom would do anything out of love.

Uh, that was me that said that. Was I begging?? Okay, maybe I was.

 

[fairisfair]

that's it Bliss, there's your chance, now YOU do something with it.

later.

 

[BlissfulMommy]

Well I think that constitutes begging. But in order to be fixed she has to face that she is broken. And I don't think she is there yet. And yes I know she has at least continued to insist she loves the child. It counts for a little something but she refuses to admit that mom loves her son as well and that mom would do anything out of love.

I don't want anyone to beg But Ok, according to you I'm broken - because I care for a 13 year old boy who is emotionally so screwed up it, it breaks my heart just thinking about it. If he decides to stay and live with his Mom in Ohio - then that is perfectly fine with his Dad and I - as long as he is happy and as long as he is well cared for. We are not going to put this child through a long and dirty court battle just for the fun of fighting with his mother to gain custody of him - because his Dad and I love him very much and frankly, SHE is not worth it. This is about the child and what is best for him, not the mother or the father.

I'm definitely not a saint, by all means, but neither is anyone else in this world. I'm not perfect either, nobody is. I never said I was What I said is that I have a much better and closer relationship with my two own children than my boyfriend's ex has with her kids. I'm a Mom and it hurts me that she never hugs those kids. Both kids are great kids, they really are. But like someone said before, she is practicing different parenting. Ok. I know that my boyfriend and I can't do anything about it. Maybe I just needed to vent sometimes because I got into it too deep loving his children - that's just how I am and maybe I need a breather once in a while. :::breathing deeply:::

I'm sure that the mother loves her kids, to a certain extend at least. I have always had a very close relationship with my kids and maybe it's the fact that she doesn't treat her kids nearly the way I treat mine is what bothers me so much. I don't know.... I didn't mean to overstep any lines and to come across that I'm pushing the issue to go to court ASAP, absolutely not. I'm really not a bad person, everyone who knows me says that I'm very genuine, honest and maybe sometimes a little too emotional Maybe I need to work on that a little bit

 

[Accountable]

I truly believe in my signature and I treat others the way I want to be treated and maybe some of you should think about that for a minute too. That's true karma.

:::leaving this board with a smile on my face and I'm not looking back:::

Really? Would your ex-husband agree? I mean, if that's true, then you wouldn't mind if....after you marry your boyfriend....he shacks up with someone else for the last two years of your marriage?

(I know I'm late to the party, but I had to get my 2 cents in......besides, I'm sure Bliss will tune in tomorrow just to check her thread)

 

[Just Blue]

I don't want anyone to beg But Ok, according to you I'm broken - because I care for a 13 year old boy who is emotionally so screwed up it, it breaks my heart just thinking about it. If he decides to stay and live with his Mom in Ohio - then that is perfectly fine with his Dad and I - as long as he is happy and as long as he is well cared for. We are not going to put this child through a long and dirty court battle just for the fun of fighting with his mother to gain custody of him - because his Dad and I love him very much and frankly, SHE is not worth it. This is about the child and what is best for him, not the mother or the father.

I'm definitely not a saint, by all means, but neither is anyone else in this world. I'm not perfect either, nobody is. I never said I was What I said is that I have a much better and closer relationship with my two own children than my boyfriend's ex has with her kids. I'm a Mom and it hurts me that she never hugs those kids. Both kids are great kids, they really are. But like someone said before, she is practicing different parenting. Ok. I know that my boyfriend and I can't do anything about it. Maybe I just needed to vent sometimes because I got into it too deep loving his children - that's just how I am and maybe I need a breather once in a while. :::breathing deeply:::

I'm sure that the mother loves her kids, to a certain extend at least. I have always had a very close relationship with my kids and maybe it's the fact that she doesn't treat her kids nearly the way I treat mine is what bothers me so much. I don't know.... I didn't mean to overstep any lines and to come across that I'm pushing the issue to go to court ASAP, absolutely not. I'm really not a bad person, everyone who knows me says that I'm very genuine, honest and maybe sometimes a little too emotional Maybe I need to work on that a little bit

Yes...You really need to step back and breath...Just because she parents differently than you do DOES NOT make her a bad or unloving mother...After all, she recognizes that her son is having a problem and is taking it very seriously, by bring him to a psychologist. That proves to me (IMHO) that she loves her son and is concerned about his emotional welfare.

 

[BlissfulMommy]

Really? Would your ex-husband agree? I mean, if that's true, then you wouldn't mind if....after you marry your boyfriend....he shacks up with someone else for the last two years of your marriage?

Accountable, my ex-husband (and I REALLY enjoy it that he is officially my EX now ) did cheat on me with several people during our marriage and while we were separated twice before we went our separate ways for good - long before my boyfriend and I even met. I never cheated on him while we were together and even separated those two times in the past, the relationship with my boyfriend started after we were separated for good for a little while. I really tried very hard to make my marriage work. My opinion is that you don't "shack up with someone else" if you are in a relationship, period. The only thing my boyfriend and I did wrong is not to get divorced from our spouses right away after we separated for good but money was very tight for a while - we had started a new business and only made enough money to "get us by". It's a really long story and I don't want to bore you with it but I think you get the picture.

You know what the icing on the cake is? He is living with his BOYFRIEND in California now according to his Mom's ex-boyfriend who finances his schooling and who I still have contact with, he pointed out to me in January that we "needed to be divorced" because of my ex's change of lifestyle. Yup, I was married to someone who turns out to be gay or bi after all. Just my luck I guess But it is OK, I told my Ex that I have no hard feelings and that I have forgiven him for what he did to me (he threw me on the ground and kicked me in the kidneys on the evening we split up for good) and that I wish him luck in the future.

 

[BlissfulMommy]

Yes...You really need to step back and breath...Just because she parents differently than you do DOES NOT make her a bad or unloving mother...After all, she recognizes that her son is having a problem and is taking it very seriously, by bring him to a psychologist. That proves to me (IMHO) that she loves her son and is concerned about his emotional welfare.

baystategirl, my boyfriend and I had a talk about the situation last night and we are going to step back and see what happens in the future without pushing the issue at all. I pointed out some things you guys and gals have said and I think that he sees now why she took him to the psychologist, that she actually cares and that she just parents her children differently than we do and that it is ok . My boyfriend used to call his son twice or three times a week in the past and now they are talking on the phone every night which I think is great and my boyfriend is not mentioning the issue to his son at all. I call my son who lives with his Dad out of state every night too and we have a very close relationship because of it. Maybe that'll bring them "closer" without his son moving to Florida, you know what I mean? We just want what is best for his son after all.

 

[Ohiogal]

baystategirl, my boyfriend and I had a talk about the situation last night and we are going to step back and see what happens in the future without pushing the issue at all. I pointed out some things you guys and gals have said and I think that he sees now why she took him to the psychologist, that she actually cares and that she just parents her children differently than we do and that it is ok . My boyfriend used to call his son twice or three times a week in the past and now they are talking on the phone every night which I think is great and my boyfriend is not mentioning the issue to his son at all. I call my son who lives with his Dad out of state every night too and we have a very close relationship because of it. Maybe that'll bring them "closer" without his son moving to Florida, you know what I mean? We just want what is best for his son after all.

Your boyfriend should not have been mentioning the issue prior to this. But yes it is good that you are both going about things differently.

 

[escape2paradise]

My boyfriend and I are talking about the things that are on his mind every day (that's what couples do if they have a healthy relationship) - I understand that I don't have any legal rights to voice my opinion, but I am indirectly and emotionally very much involved in the situation. Unfortunately I can't turn off my feelings and eventually I'll be this child's stepmom. It doesn't make parents good parents just because they are biologically related. Stepparents can be better parents and care more about the child(ren) than birth mothers. There is no reason to diss me because I care more about this child than his Mom does. How do I know? Because I met this child's mother and I'm a very good judge of character - I have talked to my boyfriend's Mom who lives in the same Ohio town and who knows first hand what is going on - and I believe my boyfriend's son. You can't always just base everything on the law, it seems like the emotional involvement aspect is always totally forgotten and is held against me.

I really don't think that I need to see a psychologist, I'm a very strong woman and have dealt with situations in my life that were everything else than pretty - without a psychologist.

My boyfriend and I - because I also care very much about this child - just want what is best for him and his development.

You are way over involved. A thirteen year old child having some minor conflicts with a parent is completely normal and healthy. At this age they are trying to assert themselves and are emerging as an individual. For you to over blow the situation is going to hurt this poor kid and his relationships with both his parents. Just because the kid now has some opinions and desires to live with his dad does not mean that being able to do so is in his best interest.

How dare you say this boys mother doesn't care about her own son. If she didn't care she'd probably just say go on and be rid of him. However, seeing as what a whack you appear to be I'd be scared as hell if I were her. Good for her getting her son to someone that he will hopefully be able to talk to and help him look at things objectively rather than emotionally. The situation you are creating is so typical, new lady in dad's life wants to stick it to the X and is using his child to do it. I know the situation all to well and I wish I had recognized what was being said and done behind my back to undermine my long stable and loving relationship with my own child. You are doing exactly what my X and his new lady have done to my daughter and now my daughter is suffering. Your kind makes me want to throw up. Leave this boy alone, support his relationship with his mom, his long term happiness depends on it.

 

[stealth2]

I don't want anyone to beg But Ok, according to you I'm broken - because I care for a 13 year old boy who is emotionally so screwed up it, it breaks my heart just thinking about it.

So it's bad that he see a psychologist, because.... Why?

 

[LegalBeagle]

Really? Good parents always put their children first? I gues I'm just a crappy mom then. My MARRIAGE and MY HUSBAND come first.

Wow.. I can't believe I just read that..