How will this affect my situation?

[TCool]

What is the name of your state? WI

Primary placement of my daughter is with me. Her mother and I signed an agreement giving this right to me, but since then the mother has changed her mind about it and is looking for any way possible to change things. Since our split I had to move back into my dads because I lost my apartment due to her bouncing rent checks and I could not afford to pay what we owed. All that went smoothly, but my dad recently allowed his girlfriend to move in with him and now her son and her son's girlfriend are moving in also. This will mean 8 people are going to be living in a 3 bedroom house, and the son (age 22) of my dads girlfriend is constantly getting in trouble with the police. The county police are actually looking for him because he fled the scene of an accident. My question is, if I remain living with my dad for now can this situation give the mother of my daughter any reason to get custody changed in court

 

[CJane]

Were you two married? Is the agreement you're talking about a court order, or simply a signed document? How old is the child? How long has she been living with you and not her mother? What are your prospects for having a more stable/less crowded place to live? What are mom's living arrangements? Are you LEGALLY the father of this child (assuming you were not married to the mother)?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? WI

Primary placement of my daughter is with me. Her mother and I signed an agreement giving this right to me, but since then the mother has changed her mind about it and is looking for any way possible to change things. Since our split I had to move back into my dads because I lost my apartment due to her bouncing rent checks and I could not afford to pay what we owed. All that went smoothly, but my dad recently allowed his girlfriend to move in with him and now her son and her son's girlfriend are moving in also. This will mean 8 people are going to be living in a 3 bedroom house, and the son (age 22) of my dads girlfriend is constantly getting in trouble with the police. The county police are actually looking for him because he fled the scene of an accident. My question is, if I remain living with my dad for now can this situation give the mother of my daughter any reason to get custody changed in court

If there is someone living in the same home as you that has an outstanding felony warrent for his arrest and you know that...it could definitely be problematic for you.

You need to get your own place ASAP.

 

[GrowUp!]

What is the name of your state? WI

Primary placement of my daughter is with me. Her mother and I signed an agreement giving this right to me, but since then the mother has changed her mind about it and is looking for any way possible to change things. Since our split I had to move back into my dads because I lost my apartment due to her bouncing rent checks and I could not afford to pay what we owed. All that went smoothly, but my dad recently allowed his girlfriend to move in with him and now her son and her son's girlfriend are moving in also. This will mean 8 people are going to be living in a 3 bedroom house, and the son (age 22) of my dads girlfriend is constantly getting in trouble with the police. The county police are actually looking for him because he fled the scene of an accident. My question is, if I remain living with my dad for now can this situation give the mother of my daughter any reason to get custody changed in court

(Cueing theme music to "The Brady Bunch"). 8 people. In a 3-bedroom house? How many square feet is this house (just curious...not that it matters). I see that living situation as problematic.

Why can't you provide a roof over the child's head? A 3-bedroom apartment can be found with reasonable rent. But you should answer CJane's questions because whether anything is legal (court/admin orders) must be known first.

 

[nextwife]

I would never consider allowing my daughter to live with all those unrelated people- especially the son with a warrant! You KNOW in your heart, without us telling you, that you need to get your daughter out of this living situation.

What part of WI are you in? Is MOM paying child support?

 

[CJane]

I would never consider allowing my daughter to live with all those unrelated people- especially the son with a warrant! You KNOW in your heart, without us telling you, that you need to get your daughter out of this living situation.

What part of WI are you in? Is MOM paying child support?

It doesn't sound like there are court orders for anything at all, so I'm assuming that she's not.

But, since OP hasn't come back at all, I'm also wondering if this is another kellyism.

ETA: Back in February, OP posted that custody/visitation IS by court order. So I stand corrected. However, back then, he was asking how to file for CS because mom was unemployed. He was also asking if he could sue for support back to the child's birth. Wonder if he's done that.

I'm curious if mom is using her weekend visitation now (he indicated in Feb that she wasn't).

I'm also curious if he notified her properly of his relocation into this crowded house.

 

[Zephyr]

(Cueing theme music to "The Brady Bunch"). 8 people. In a 3-bedroom house? How many square feet is this house (just curious...not that it matters). I see that living situation as problematic.

Why can't you provide a roof over the child's head? A 3-bedroom apartment can be found with reasonable rent. But you should answer CJane's questions because whether anything is legal (court/admin orders) must be known first.

he only needs a 2 bdrm....

yes move out and into your own place

 

[fairisfair]

It doesn't sound like there are court orders for anything at all, so I'm assuming that she's not.

But, since OP hasn't come back at all, I'm also wondering if this is another kellyism.

ETA: Back in February, OP posted that custody/visitation IS by court order. So I stand corrected. However, back then, he was asking how to file for CS because mom was unemployed. He was also asking if he could sue for support back to the child's birth. Wonder if he's done that.

I'm curious if mom is using her weekend visitation now (he indicated in Feb that she wasn't).

I'm also curious if he notified her properly of his relocation into this crowded house.

This isn't kelly. I am familiar with him.

 

[CJane]

This isn't kelly. I am familiar with him.

Yeah, I figured that out... that's why I edited.

It'd be a LOT less irritating to answer his questions though if he'd come back and answer some of ours.

 

[TCool]

Ahh, my bad! I always forget the details!

It is an agreement signed by me, the mother, and the judge. So yes, it is court ordered, and yes the mother is paying child support (when she has a job). This has been the situation now since feb (child support since may), and her mother has an apartment with her new boyfriend (but close to losing this one because she doesn't like to pay rent, not that it matters). No, we were not married, and yes I am legally the father.

(Cueing theme music to "The Brady Bunch"). 8 people. In a 3-bedroom house? How many square feet is this house (just curious...not that it matters). I see that living situation as problematic.

LOL... no kidding. It's a pretty big house, don't know the square footage, but still only has 3 rooms, well 4 if you count the den that we basically turned into a bedroom for now.

It's not that I can't get my own apartment, it would just make things very difficult right now. The situation is that my daughters mom screwed me (and herself in the process) pretty good. So, for a little while I couldn't afford much of anything so I moved back in with my dad. Next summer me and my daughter will be moving to Madison so I can attend the university there, so I figured since I was already forced to move back in with my dad I would just stay with him until I move to Madison so I can save money and make things a lot easier, and so I'm not doing a ton of moving around.

I would never consider allowing my daughter to live with all those unrelated people- especially the son with a warrant! You KNOW in your heart, without us telling you, that you need to get your daughter out of this living situation.

Yes, for sure. The reason I'm asking this question is because I'm very unhappy with the situation, and moving out would make things pretty difficult right now and for the future. I'm going to be having a conversation with my dad about this, and I'm pretty sure that he will change his mind about this if it has the possibility of causing problems for me with custody of my daughter. I'm very suprised actually that my dad would do this, but I guess he's just too much of a softy. I'm guessing that his girlfriend begged him to help out her son, who got himself in a lot of financial trouble, and he caved. But anyway, I will be moving out as soon as I possibly can if I can't convince my dad to change this.

What part of WI are you in?

Northcentral, a little city called Merrill.

ETA: Back in February, OP posted that custody/visitation IS by court order. So I stand corrected. However, back then, he was asking how to file for CS because mom was unemployed. He was also asking if he could sue for support back to the child's birth. Wonder if he's done that.

I'm curious if mom is using her weekend visitation now (he indicated in Feb that she wasn't).

I did get child support, but I didn't bother trying to get child support back to my daughters birth. Yes, for the most part now she uses her visitation.

I'm also curious if he notified her properly of his relocation into this crowded house.

Well, I talked to my attorney before I moved and he told me that since I was moving 20 miles closer to her mother that I wouldn't have to do anything, and that I wouldn't have to worry about anything. And, the house wasn't as crowded when I moved in, 3 people moved in since I did (not that it matters).

It'd be a LOT less irritating to answer his questions though if he'd come back and answer some of ours.

Sorry, worked all day. LOL, had I expected to get a response within ten minutes of posting I might have checked back last night before I went to bed.

There, I hope I got all the information in there that ya needed. Thanks for the help.

 

[CJane]

Next summer me and my daughter will be moving to Madison so I can attend the university there

Where is Madison in relation to where you are now? Where mom is? Do you think she'll fight the relocation?

 

[nextwife]

Where is Madison in relation to where you are now? Where mom is? Do you think she'll fight the relocation?

2 hrs, 44 minutes due south of Merrill.

Poster, mom can fight relocating the child to Madison, depending on where SHE is.

 

[TCool]

Correct, about 2 and a half hours south. Approx 160 miles. She may fight the relocation, but the custody agreement we have in place specifically states that my daughter will be moving to Madison with me. I know all about that stuff and I've spoken to my attorney about it. My main concern right now is with the situation at hand, and if it will give her mother any legal standing to have the custody changed.

I suppose since I'm asking questions I should throw this one out there also. When the child support agency wrote up the child support agreement (that I, the mother and the judge all signed) there was a line that said "Primary physical placement and legal custody are with the father". Would that change anything with any current custody agreement in place?

 

[LdiJ]

Correct, about 2 and a half hours south. Approx 160 miles. She may fight the relocation, but the custody agreement we have in place specifically states that my daughter will be moving to Madison with me. I know all about that stuff and I've spoken to my attorney about it. My main concern right now is with the situation at hand, and if it will give her mother any legal standing to have the custody changed.

I suppose since I'm asking questions I should throw this one out there also. When the child support agency wrote up the child support agreement (that I, the mother and the judge all signed) there was a line that said "Primary physical placement and legal custody are with the father". Would that change anything with any current custody agreement in place?

If your custody agreement states that the child will be moving to Madison with you, then she can't fight the relocation. That part is a "done deal".

However, again, the new dynamics of your living arrangements....particularly with a felon with an arrest warrant being part of the household are SIGNIFICANT. Either you need to make your father understand that the felon CANNOT live there, or you need to get yourself and your daughter OUT.

 

[TCool]

Well, as far as I know he is not a felon. I'm not sure whether or not there is actually an arrest warrant issued for him either. The situation with that is the guy was screwing around on his motorcycle with a friend and the friend put his into a tree. Well, the one living here now does not have his license so when the cops came he took off. So they were looking for him for fleeing the scene, but I'm not sure if they ever got his name or if they are still trying to figure out who was there. I'm going to find out more information about what is going on with his situation.

Oh, and I forgot to answer the question about how far Madison is from my daughters mom. The answer is about 180 miles.

EDIT: Well, I just checked his record and he is not a felon, just has speeding and operating after suspension on his record.