just a few questions regarding support

[haiku]

you can PM me

 

[Pat88998899]

http://www.courts.state.nh.us/fdpp/fdpp/support.htm

there are links there to help you learn how the support will be figured.

Living expenses of the custodial and non custodial parent, are NOT used to figure child support. they are not going to care about your rent or your bills, they care about your income, as it appears after legal deductions for your taxes and such.....

Why do they ask for very detailed living expenses on financial statements from the court, if they don't influence in any way the amount of child support?

And why aren't they considered? Seems kind of important to me considering that a mother's rent might be a few dollars if she is on housing, while the father's rent might take a couple of his paychecks.

 

[CJane]

while the father's rent might take a couple of his paychecks.

Then he is living FAR outside his means. Rent should never = 'a couple of paychecks' when one has a child to support.

 

[Pat88998899]

Then he is living FAR outside his means. Rent should never = 'a couple of paychecks' when one has a child to support.

Rent should NEVER = a couple of paychecks' when.... anything!

Sorry, I don't know where you live, but it is quite common where I live. There is a housing and rent crisis going on, which SHOULD be another issue, but obviously is part of the problem, with why men have a problem living, and paying the high child support ordered.

I am a mother, and in order to live in a safe neighborhood, 3 of my paychecks go toward my rent. People living in neighborhoods in nearby towns, with gangs, and high crime are paying 1000 to $1200. Do you think fathers should live in the streets, or... in a hole.

This is a major problem. People like yourself are either ignorant to the plight of a human being guilty of being male, or you just don't care. You know there are a lot of women who leave men, or kick them out because they found someone they prefer to be with, and a lot of these fathers would like shared parenting, but a lot of these mother's don't, for obvious reasons. Yet ALL THESE MEN are treated as if they abandoned the mother.

 

[CJane]

This is a major problem. People like yourself are either ignorant to the plight of a human being guilty of being male,

Heh. I live in middle america. Home of low wages, crappy jobs, and high housing costs. I live with my 3 kids in a 2 bedroom apartment in a tiny town 20 minutes from anywhere, and pay $510/month for my rent. Plus utilities. I make (when I'm employed, which I'm currently not) about $15/hour and my rent is not even close to one paycheck, let alone a couple of them.

My es husband makes about $50K. He lives WAY beyond his means and always has, but even his house payment isn't a couple of his paychecks.

Anyone who gets into a situation where their rent is THAT high is living beyond their means and should either better their employment/pay rate or find somewhere else to live. Should they live in a 'hole'? Or perhaps in a less than 'nice' neighborhood? If it's a choice between that or living paycheck to paycheck and praying nothing comes up that requires an extra $10? Absolutely. And that has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with common sense.

 

[Pat88998899]

Heh. I live in middle america. Home of low wages, crappy jobs, and high housing costs. I live with my 3 kids in a 2 bedroom apartment in a tiny town 20 minutes from anywhere, and pay $510/month for my rent. Plus utilities. I make (when I'm employed, which I'm currently not) about $15/hour and my rent is not even close to one paycheck, let alone a couple of them

. You call $15 an hour low wages?, and $510 a month high housing costs?? You can't find a crappy apartment in a high crime rate area around here, less than $1000. There are many males making mimimum wage This is not a choice, this is a fact of life.

My es husband makes about $50K. He lives WAY beyond his means and always has, but even his house payment isn't a couple of his paychecks. And this is obviously the reason for your cynical attitude which would be expected, (and believe it or not, I have been there with an ex exactly like that) - but obviously you cannot be objective about other people's plights in regard to this.

Anyone who gets into a situation where their rent is THAT high is living beyond their means and should either better their employment/pay rate or find somewhere else to live. Should they live in a 'hole'? Or perhaps in a less than 'nice' neighborhood? If it's a choice between that or living paycheck to paycheck and praying nothing comes up that requires an extra $10? Absolutely. And that has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with common sense.

Well unfortunately common sense does not lower the high rents in Massachusetts. As I previously said one can get a crappy apartment in a town with a high crime rate, for $1000 to $1200. These are normal rents in Massachusetts as I explained previously.

And you really can't see how this IS a gender issue?? Women are automatically given sole custody of the children, no matter who's fault the separation is. Women with children are eligible for housing and have very low rents. . There is a coalition of men who would love to have either sole custody or shared custody, but are denied, simply because it is unheard of unless there is something drastically wrong with the mother. How much more of a gender issue could it be?

 

[CJane]

And you really can't see how this IS a gender issue??

No, it's not. Women historically and realistically make less then men almost all the time. They're also less likely to keep a job long-term due to family obligations, are more likely to be fired for missing work, etc. So if it's a gender issue, it's not a bias against males. If there are THAT many men making minimum wage and unable to find a place to live for less than I bring home in a month, then perhaps they should spend a little spare cash on condoms.

Women are automatically given sole custody of the children, no matter who's fault the separation is.

Absolutely untrue. This is a GLARING falsehood and makes your credibility elsewhere subject to question.

Women with children are eligible for housing and have very low rents.

ANYONE who qualifies for housing receives it. I've never seen a man who qualified be turned down only because he has a penis.

There is a coalition of men who would love to have either sole custody or shared custody, but are denied, simply because it is unheard of unless there is something drastically wrong with the mother.

Another glaring falsehood. MANY of the women on this forum have shared custody with their ex's. MANY of them. Including me.

How much more of a gender issue could it be?

You can attempt to MAKE it a gender issue all you like. But the FACTS do not support it.

 

[Just Blue]

Well unfortunately common sense does not lower the high rents in Massachusetts. As I previously said one can get a crappy apartment in a town with a high crime rate, for $1000 to $1200. These are normal rents in Massachusetts as I explained previously.

And you really can't see how this IS a gender issue?? Women are automatically given sole custody of the children, no matter who's fault the separation is. Women with children are eligible for housing and have very low rents. . There is a coalition of men who would love to have either sole custody or shared custody, but are denied, simply because it is unheard of unless there is something drastically wrong with the mother. How much more of a gender issue could it be?

I live in a very low crime area 45 min from Boston, 2 b-room 700 square foot apt in a very nice complex...$800.00.

 

[CJane]

I live in a very low crime area 45 min from Boston, 2 b-room 700 square foot apt in a very nice complex...$800.00.

Yeah, but do they let MEN live there?

 

[Pat88998899]

No, it's not. Women historically and realistically make less then men almost all the time. They're also less likely to keep a job long-term due to family obligations, are more likely to be fired for missing work, etc. So if it's a gender issue, it's not a bias against males. If there are THAT many men making minimum wage and unable to find a place to live for less than I bring home in a month, then perhaps they should spend a little spare cash on condoms.

I have been on both sides and for years have made it a point to help mothers and fathers , whether they are male or female. You just can't accept the fact that you are extemely bias,only sympathetic to women, because you hold a grudge against your ex.

Absolutely untrue. This is a GLARING falsehood and makes your credibility elsewhere subject to question.

In Massachusetts, unless the mother agrees to joint custody, there is a court battle and the the mother for the most part receives sole custody. This is the glaring truth.
ANYONE who qualifies for housing receives it. Well let's see,... what qualifies someone for housing? I've never seen a man who qualified be turned down only because he has a penis. Talk about questioning credibility. Do you work at the housing authority? How would you know?


Another glaring falsehood. MANY of the women on this forum have shared custody with their ex's. MANY of them. Including me. That may be so, but not in Massachusetts! So don't pretend to know something that you don't. I


You can attempt to MAKE it a gender issue all you like. But the FACTS do not support it.

Oh yes the facts do support it. No matter what is shown to you, you are more concerned with being right.

 

[Pat88998899]

I live in a very low crime area 45 min from Boston, 2 b-room 700 square foot apt in a very nice complex...$800.00.

What town? I will spread the word.

 

[Just Blue]

Yeah, but do they let MEN live there?

Yup! As a matter of FACT there are several men in just my bldg that are CP's...

Pat, You are an idiot...Shared parenting is issued by Massachusetts courts all the time. Father's are granted primary custody all the time. Low cost and subsidized housing is available to ANYONE who qualifies. You are not right. You are wrong.

 

[CJane]

have been on both sides and for years have made it a point to help mothers and fathers , whether they are male or female. You just can't accept the fact that you are extemely bias,only sympathetic to women, because you hold a grudge against your ex.

If you believe that, you're an idiot. Please show me where ANYWHERE on this board, EVER, I have posted that I have a grudge against my ex or men in general. Show me where I have been MORE sympathetic to mothers than fathers. Please, I'm dying to see it.

In Massachusetts, unless the mother agrees to joint custody, there is a court battle and the the mother for the most part receives sole custody. This is the glaring truth.

Please post the applicable statutes that show that there is NOT a presumption of joint-custody for MARRIED/DIVORCED parents in Mass. Other than in cases of abuse.

Well let's see,... what qualifies someone for housing?

Income guidelines apply.

Talk about questioning credibility. Do you work at the housing authority? How would you know?

Not anymore, but at one time, yes. I also have managed rental properties that accepted section 8 housing assistance vouchers - men lived there. Some with kids full-time, some only part-time, some not at all.

That may be so, but not in Massachusetts! So don't pretend to know something that you don't.

Ok. NONE of the people in the WORLD that share custody live in MA. Good to know.

Oh yes the facts do support it. No matter what is shown to you, you are more concerned with being right.

I'm far less concerned with being right than I am with you providing false information on a public forum where people come for assistance with very real problems.

And I AM right that someone who pays more than 1/2 their income for rent IS living beyond their means. They may not see a way around it, but that doesn't make it a financially sound decision.

 

[Pat88998899]

Yup! As a matter of FACT there are several men in just my bldg that are CP's...

Pat, You are an idiot...Shared parenting is issued by Massachusetts courts all the time. Father's are granted primary custody all the time. Low cost and subsidized housing is available to ANYONE who qualifies. You are not right. You are wrong.

Baystate, Why is it you call anyone you don't agree with an idiot? And if there are really SEVERAL men in your building that are custodial parents, that is great! Because it doesn't happen, in MA and there is whole coalition of fathers who can tell you differently. You are making it up to make a point.

 

[CJane]

Baystate, Why is it you call anyone you don't agree with an idiot? And if there are really SEVERAL men in your building that are custodial parents, that is great! Because it doesn't happen, in MA

Heh.

and there is whole coalition of fathers who can tell you differently. You are making it up to make a point.

There are coalitions of fathers EVERYWHERE that claim that. Father's rights attorneys make a FORTUNE perpetuating that train of thought, and CREATING battles where none would exist. Men ASSUME they have no chance without a huge legal battle, and so adopt a confrontational attitude that effectively destroys any co-parenting relationships that may have existed. OR they think they have 'no chance' and so settle for less than they would normally be awarded and try to change it later which is VERY difficult no matter where you live.

That is NOT gender bias, that is NOT me holding a grudge against my ex, that is the REALITY of Father's Rights coalitions in this country.