Change Custody?

[Kansas Man]

What is the name of your state? KS
My ex-wife called mid week and said she was going to be evicted and needed me to take the children ages 4 and 3 for a while instead of having them live in a safe house with her. This is her 3rd eviction within a year, and the fourth place she has moved to. She has had 3 jobs within the year and has quite or even been fired for job abandonment. I pay over 600 per month in child support and i feel that she doesn't have her act together enough to take care of the children. What are my chances of getting custody of my children?

 

[moburkes]

What is the name of your state? KS
My ex-wife called mid week and said she was going to be evicted and needed me to take the children ages 4 and 3 for a while instead of having them live in a safe house with her. This is her 3rd eviction within a year, and the fourth place she has moved to. She has had 3 jobs within the year and has quite or even been fired for job abandonment. I pay over 600 per month in child support and i feel that she doesn't have her act together enough to take care of the children. What are my chances of getting custody of my children?

High. File now.

 

[Ambr]

It's called an unstable home life. If mom can't keep a roof over her head and can't take care of herself......how is she suppose to take care of children. 4 moves and 3 jobs in less than one year, definitely a pattern. Talk to a lawyer soon.

Maybe your CS payment ($600 a month) can help mom to get back on her feet again, but why continue to pay CS to mom (which is suppose to be for the kids expenses) when the kids are with you? Ceasing the support payment would be the second motion that I would file.

 

[CJane]

It actually depends on what you've done the OTHER 2 times she's been evicted, whether the moves have interfered with visitation or schooling, how long it's taken her to secure new housing each time, etc.

Also depends on what your visitation schedule usually is (how much 'extra' time is this giving you?).

If this is a pattern that you've ignored up to now, or mom has routinely been able to secure adequate housing in a short amount of time, or the visitation schedule/preschool/whatever hasn't been seriously disrupted in the past, it might not make a lot of difference at all.

I know that my ex tried to use instability against me at our custody trial (I'm now on my 3rd residence and 4th job in 3 years) and was told that as long as the kids are attending school regularly and his time with the children is not being interfered with, it was not considered instability.

In my experience, Kansas tends to feel the same way on this issue (my sisters' custody cases are in Kansas).

SO... answer the above questions for more relevant advice.

 

[Kansas Man]

Re:

We have an agreement that states i will have the kids at least until aug 10th. She is suppose to have a job and stable residence by then. As it sits know she is living in a small camper in her parents driveway with no job, a suspended liscense and no job. I retained a lawyer to try and get custody of my children. Since they have been living with me for almost 3 weeks now, she has been driving with the suspended liscense, no Ins., a wrong tag on the vehicle, and no registration on it as well. If she gets in an accident with my kids in the car it would not be good. I don't want to just point out the bad in my Ex, she does have good qualities but i feel that the children would definately be better off if they were with me. I have a stable job, home, family, ... Ect.

 

[casa]

We have an agreement that states i will have the kids at least until aug 10th. She is suppose to have a job and stable residence by then. As it sits know she is living in a small camper in her parents driveway with no job, a suspended liscense and no job. I retained a lawyer to try and get custody of my children. Since they have been living with me for almost 3 weeks now, she has been driving with the suspended liscense, no Ins., a wrong tag on the vehicle, and no registration on it as well. If she gets in an accident with my kids in the car it would not be good. I don't want to just point out the bad in my Ex, she does have good qualities but i feel that the children would definately be better off if they were with me. I have a stable job, home, family, ... Ect.

Your attorney should be filing a motion for Temporary Custody pending a hearing. Otherwise, you won't be able to enroll the children in your school system.

Definately having a suspended license and no home to live in will weigh heavily against her. Also her repeated relocations involving safe houses. It's plausible to explain to the court you gave Mom the benefit of the doubt before, but since it's becoming a pattern you are concerned for the children's stability & well-being.

The best time to file for Custody would be NOW.

 

[moburkes]

it would not be good if they were in the vehicle and were in a wreck REGARDLESS of who was driving the vehicle.

 

[CJane]

Since they have been living with me for almost 3 weeks now

Ummm... you said in your original post that she called you MIDWEEK... but that you have an agreement to have them til August 10... and now you're saying they've been living with you for 3 weeks.

Are they currently with you for summer break?

When does school start?

A 'small camper' in the parents' driveway MIGHT be considered a relatively stable residence. As would living with her parents. Being unemployed is not going to matter At. All. in court unless you can prove that it's somehow endangering the children.

Where in KS are you?

 

[casa]

it would not be good if they were in the vehicle and were in a wreck REGARDLESS of who was driving the vehicle.

However, in an uninsured/unregistered vehicle ~ they also risk uncovered medical costs from anything occurring in the accident. And further emotional turmoil if Mom is at fault & then is liable; with no means of paying.

And in this case, it also means Mom could get pulled over & the vehicle would be impounded (for no license/insurance/registration)...which leaves a freaked out Mom & scared kids on the side of the road.
It could be Big Mess all the way around.

 

[casa]

Ummm... you said in your original post that she called you MIDWEEK... but that you have an agreement to have them til August 10... and now you're saying they've been living with you for 3 weeks.

Are they currently with you for summer break?

When does school start?

A 'small camper' in the parents' driveway MIGHT be considered a relatively stable residence. As would living with her parents. Being unemployed is not going to matter At. All. in court unless you can prove that it's somehow endangering the children.

Where in KS are you?

OP has had the children with him 3 weeks as of now. OP & X have an agreement that he keep the children until Aug 10th, at which time the mother is supposed to have found housing & Dad is supposed to return the kids. (Probably to get ready for school).

What's interesting to me...is that Mom is in Gma/Gpa's driveway. Why isn't the Mom living INSIDE the house with Gma/Gpa?

 

[CJane]

OP has had the children with him 3 weeks as of now. OP & X have an agreement that he keep the children until Aug 10th, at which time the mother is supposed to have found housing & Dad is supposed to return the kids. (Probably to get ready for school).

Ok, I'm just terribly confused. Since he said 'midweek' (and the thread is dated today), I was going with the idea that she'd called him midweek last week and that he'd had them a week or so... that's what made me wonder if they were with him for summer break and she was just asking him to extend it.

What's interesting to me...is that Mom is in Gma/Gpa's driveway. Why isn't the Mom living INSIDE the house with Gma/Gpa?

Who knows? I know that if I had to make the choice, I'd live in my parent' RV before I'd live in their house.

 

[Kansas Man]

Ummm... you said in your original post that she called you MIDWEEK... but that you have an agreement to have them til August 10... and now you're saying they've been living with you for 3 weeks.

Are they currently with you for summer break?

When does school start?

A 'small camper' in the parents' driveway MIGHT be considered a relatively stable residence. As would living with her parents. Being unemployed is not going to matter At. All. in court unless you can prove that it's somehow endangering the children.

Where in KS are you?

I had summer visitation for the first 5 weeks this summer. She said that if i did not take the kids then she and the kids would have to go live in a shelter. I wrote an agreement stating that i would keep them until at least aug 10th so that it would give her some time to get herself together. (Just as she wanted) She set the perameters about the agreement saying when it would start and stop. I felt like if i didn't then she would take the kids to a shelter and i would not allow that. School will start about mid August. I guess i over estimated the length they have been living with me, it's been about 2 weeks sorry.

 

[Kansas Man]

Re:

sorry for the confusion

 

[casa]

Who knows? I know that if I had to make the choice, I'd live in my parent' RV before I'd live in their house.

with two kids aged 3 & 4?? I'd lose my noodle!

 

[CJane]

with two kids aged 3 & 4?? I'd lose my noodle!

My kids are 10, 7 and 18 months, and I'd STILL live in my Dad's RV before I'd live with him and his wife. And I'd live in my mom's lil pop-up camper before I'd move back into her house, much as I love her.

A friend of mine let her son move out into the RV when he was 16... he's 20 and still there... loves it.

Honestly, I'm not trying to strongly discourage OP, but he's going to have to prove that mom is endangering the kids, or is so unstable as to be damaging to the children - and living in a 'camper' isn't likely to make that happen - not when the US government has deemed living in a camper to be perfectly acceptable long-term housing for disaster victims. KWIM?

A friend of mine has 5 year old twins, and 2 dogs (and no job) and lives in a converted garden shed. A 2 ROOM house - not two bedrooms - 2 ROOMS. It might be 14 x 14 total. It's been deemed 'acceptable housing' on at least 2 occasions (her sister used to live there).