unmarried mother

[powerline]

What is the name of your state? Ga
My daughter is not married to the father of her child they split up a few months ago and the father has to be forced to see his child. At first my daughter would call him and see if he could keep the baby (9 Months) he would say no he had to work or whatever. His mom would call once every couple of weeks and want the baby to spend the night and then lie and say that dad kept him when he really didnt. She would then say the baby wasnt taken care of b/c of diaper rash, he is allergic to almost all diapers, they cause heat rash like symptoms. She wanted to keep the baby from mom at this point. The last few weeks dad refuses to even see the baby and he refuses to pay CS he says he shouldnt have to. Dad is on meth and it has been proven with home drug test, can she keep the baby from them when they finally do call and want him. What if they try to take custody of him. She is planning on moving in with her present boyfriend in the next 3 wks. 4 houses down from me. Can they take custody just b/c they sont like the new BF? Its is highly unlikely they will try b/c they dont want him very often but theres always a slim chance they will use it against her. my daughter watns to get a restraining order is there any cause just b/c hes on drugs? I told her no just keep the baby from them until they get him legitamized. any help will be appreciated.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state? Ga
My daughter is not married to the father of her child they split up a few months ago and the father has to be forced to see his child.

Why would she FORCE this man to see his child? IS he legally the father? Did he sign an AOP? Take a court ordered DNA test? Been legally adjudicated the father? If not then he is a legal stranger and NOT the daddy.

At first my daughter would call him and see if he could keep the baby (9 Months) he would say no he had to work or whatever.

He is allowed to do this.

His mom would call once every couple of weeks and want the baby to spend the night and then lie and say that dad kept him when he really didnt.

Why would that matter though? If his mom is calling and your daughter is talking to his mom why would she assume that dad was keeping the child?

She would then say the baby wasnt taken care of b/c of diaper rash, he is allergic to almost all diapers, they cause heat rash like symptoms. She wanted to keep the baby from mom at this point.

Which she cannot do.

The last few weeks dad refuses to even see the baby and he refuses to pay CS he says he shouldnt have to.

Is there a CS order? If not then he doesn't have to.

Dad is on meth and it has been proven with home drug test, can she keep the baby from them when they finally do call and want him.

Is there a visitation order?

What if they try to take custody of him.

How?

She is planning on moving in with her present boyfriend in the next 3 wks. 4 houses down from me. Can they take custody just b/c they sont like the new BF?

Who is they? And the answer is no.

Its is highly unlikely they will try b/c they dont want him very often but theres always a slim chance they will use it against her. my daughter watns to get a restraining order is there any cause just b/c hes on drugs?

Nope.

I told her no just keep the baby from them until they get him legitamized. any help will be appreciated.

YOU need to back off as does other maybe grandma. Without court orders dad has no rights or responsibilities quite frankly. Your daughter needs to grow up and get orders for child support.

 

[powerline]

She definetly needs to grow up and I do have a problem with trying to make her do the right thing. Sjhe comes to me with her problems and I make them my own, this is my fault, she is trying now to get a CS order from CSE. The father has signed the BC and the Paternity acknowledment form at the hospital. She lived all of her life without her father and she doesnt want her son to grow up without his father in his life, she knows how it makes a child feel. I think she is inmature in some ways but I DO think that her decision to try and keep daddy in babys life was a good one. She doesnt want to be with him but she wants baby to be at some point. anyway I will pass all info over to her and she can run with it.thanks.

 

[Ohiogal]

She definetly needs to grow up and I do have a problem with trying to make her do the right thing. Sjhe comes to me with her problems and I make them my own, this is my fault,

Then quite frankly stop doing that. You really need to take a step back and not take on this issue.

she is trying now to get a CS order from CSE.

Okay.

The father has signed the BC and the Paternity acknowledment form at the hospital.

Signing the BC doesn't matter. The AOP matters. It means he is legally stating he is daddy. HOWEVER that does not mean he has the obligation to pay child support without a court order nor the right to see the child.

She lived all of her life without her father and she doesnt want her son to grow up without his father in his life, she knows how it makes a child feel.

Forcing a PARENT to see a child is not the same thing as facilitating a relationship between the two. She can send him pictures, inform him of doctor's appointments and stuff like that but she should nto force him to visit with the child.

I think she is inmature in some ways but I DO think that her decision to try and keep daddy in babys life was a good one.

But it is not up to her to make this man participate. She must allow it but should not FORCE it. There is a difference.

She doesnt want to be with him but she wants baby to be at some point. anyway I will pass all info over to her and she can run with it.thanks.

He doesn't have to pay child support without a court order. She should continue obtaining one. Then if he wants visitation he should petition the courts. Why would she want to leave the baby with a meth user?

 

[powerline]

She has suspected it before but not til this week did she confirm with drug test. since then she has not tried to get him to keep baby. She is hoping that he will get it together and stop using. I just wnat her and my grandson to be happy. He is not a happy baby right now. Cries alot it is alot fof her to handle by herself and I think it should be the responsibility of the other parent but that is just my opinion. I got lucky and my daughter ended up with a really good step dad. thanks

 

[emilymarguerite]

She lived all of her life without her father and she doesnt want her son to grow up without his father in his life, she knows how it makes a child feel. I think she is inmature in some ways but I DO think that her decision to try and keep daddy in babys life was a good one. She doesnt want to be with him but she wants baby to be at some point. anyway I will pass all info over to her and she can run with it.thanks.

better for the baby to grow up with no father than to grow up being forced to have visits with a father who doesn't want him around.

 

[LdiJ]

She has suspected it before but not til this week did she confirm with drug test. since then she has not tried to get him to keep baby. She is hoping that he will get it together and stop using. I just wnat her and my grandson to be happy. He is not a happy baby right now. Cries alot it is alot fof her to handle by herself and I think it should be the responsibility of the other parent but that is just my opinion. I got lucky and my daughter ended up with a really good step dad. thanks

Then you should be helping her. After all...isn't that what grandma's are for? Can't you give your daughter the occasional break?

Also, if the baby is crying more than normal your daughter should talk to the child's doctor....if she is nursing the child may not be getting enough nutrition (unfortunately that does sometimes happen) or if the child is on formula it may not be the right formula.

 

[powerline]

I do help her. I keep him on the wkds when she works and I keep him while she goes to school (GED). I dont keep him for her to run around with her group of friends b/c hes her responsibility. I buy his baby food and he is on 24 calorie formula b/c he was 9 wks early and 4lbs. So he is getting enough nutrition but he is cutting alot of teeth at one time. I try to give her a little break. They will be fine.