Seeking Custody

[LdiJ]

Ok all, I am in the process of preparing information for my attorney. I'm looking for a good site that states the Illinois Statues...the one I found, is horrible and has hardly any information! Maybe this is Illinois, but there has to be more. Anyone have a link for a good guy?

This is the official site:

http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs.asp

 

[Chelle0578]

Update ~ Crazy new info.!

Hello All! Ok, I have talked to an Attorney and am in the process of getting the money in order to retain one for a modification of custody. In the midst of the above, I found out last week that my daughters step-dad was arrested in May for Aggravated DUI (like his 5th), driving on a revoked license, and cannibas charges. Was arrested in December 06 for driving on revoked and cannibas too. He is still in jail and waiting a jury trial. Found out online, my daughter has never mentioned it in the several times I have seen her since the may arrest...

Picked up my daughter for visitation this evening. Calmy said...havent seen "X" (stepdad) lately, and she stated he was working. I said..."are you sure", and she said "I cant tell you or the police will take me away". I told her that she didnt have to tell me that I already knew. And then it all came out...

She stated that the police had came to their house and arrested him. She said he was arrested for having "vitamins" in his pockets. She said his "probation officer" was there too and he and the police said that he had been cooking meth (yes, she is 7...and said "cooking meth"). She then said her mom said it was a "pinchie" in his pocket! HOW DOES MY 7 Y/O know these terms? I'm Mortified!

Ok~What do I do? Should I call DCFS? Step-dad is in jail...but I'm sure her mother is involved! What if I take her home Sunday and their trailer blows up?

I've never been involved in drugs, not even a traffic violation...I can't stomach the thought of the things that may be going on there...

Suggestions?

 

[LdiJ]

Well...you can't use stepdad's problems to help you, because he is in jail and is therefore no longer in the home.....and from the sound of things, he is going to be in jail for a very long time.

Unless mom gets into trouble too...there isn't much mileage for you in that.

 

[Chelle0578]

Thanks for the reply LdiJ.

True step-dad is in jail and may get 1-3 years, only got 18 mos. 2 years ago for similar charges. According to the newspaper/internet he was only charged with the aggravted DUI, driving on revoked and cannibas. But, my daughter said they arrested him at his house?

They must have not found any meth, as there were no charges of such. Obviously it is there somewhere ... a 7 y/o should NOT know those terms. She had to hear it somewhere...

So, I shouldn't call Family Services? Hello... the use is there, mom and step-dads teeth are GONE!

And...95% of the attornies I consulted with, told me to ride it out a few months. With him in jail she wont be able to care for 3 kids alone (no income).

I'm going stir CRAZY!

 

[Ozark_Sophist]

Throwing this out for consideration by the forum - How about taking your daughter to the hospital? Let the doctor's know you believe she has been exposed to meth cooking and you are worried about the harmful effects. It may be possible that medical tests will clarify if your daughter has been exposed.

 

[LdiJ]

Throwing this out for consideration by the forum - How about taking your daughter to the hospital? Let the doctor's know you believe she has been exposed to meth cooking and you are worried about the harmful effects. It may be possible that medical tests will clarify if your daughter has been exposed.

That is certainly worth a try.

 

[Chelle0578]

I agree, that is worth a try. But, wouldnt it be just as affective to phone DCFS? Afterall...isnt that what the hospital would do?

 

[BS Spotter]

I agree, that is worth a try. But, wouldnt it be just as affective to phone DCFS? Afterall...isnt that what the hospital would do?

You want to go through a hospital/medical center FIRST. They may or may not call DCFS, but they might be legally required to. Dunno. But you can explain the situation and custody arrangements with the Dr/nurse.

A medical report from an actual doctor/nurse will hold more water in court than something said by a DCFS worker. A DCFS worker might try to yank custody from BOTH of you if you go DCFS route first. The medical center/hospital visit might trigger an investigation of the other parent's living conditions by DCFS...which would work better. IMO, it's just a "smoother" trail.

 

[Chelle0578]

Quick question...just got back from taking my littlest one to the fair and was doing some thinking. Okay, as stated in another thread...went to court today.

My child support increases b/c my wages have. CP lives off of me and state and doesn't have to work...blah blah. Working on paying attorney for custody, so this is my question:

When we go to court, if I am awarded custody...will the child's mother then have to seek employment and pay child support?

Just curious, if so...HOW CROOKED! When she has custody she can sit home and do nothing, yet if she does not she has to get a job?!?

I just can't fathom the legal system, its giving me a migrane.

Good-night.

 

[CourtClerk]

Quick question...just got back from taking my littlest one to the fair and was doing some thinking. Okay, as stated in another thread...went to court today.

My child support increases b/c my wages have. CP lives off of me and state and doesn't have to work...blah blah. Working on paying attorney for custody, so this is my question:

When we go to court, if I am awarded custody...will the child's mother then have to seek employment and pay child support?

Very likely that child support will be ordered.

Just curious, if so...HOW CROOKED! When she has custody she can sit home and do nothing, yet if she does not she has to get a job?!?

Hey... if it suits you, once she gets some really minimum wage job, if you can figure out a way to live off of it, then you can sit at home too.... For some reason, I just don't believe that living off of that little bit of money will do much for you though.
I just can't fathom the legal system, its giving me a migrane.

Good-night.

Sometimes, the justice system is a little perplexing (coming from someone that sits in a courthouse a minimum of 40 hours a week), however, remain steadfast. It will work itself out in time.

Good luck.

 

[Chelle0578]

Thanks Court Clerk

I just want my daughter to have stability, and if she cant provide it I will. This is my concern at this point...

I'm in the process of making payments on the retainer. CP (mother) is 6 months pregnant. I'm afraid the judge will feel sorry for her since she is expecting. She is due sometime in November...should I wait until after then to file for the modification. I know I have ONE good chance, and I dont want ANYTHING to stand in the way.

I'm thinking if I wait until after her baby is born, her husband should be in prison by then (jail waiting for jury trial now), and her situations will be even worse.

Thanks all!

 

[CJane]

I just want my daughter to have stability, and if she cant provide it I will. This is my concern at this point...

I'm in the process of making payments on the retainer. CP (mother) is 6 months pregnant. I'm afraid the judge will feel sorry for her since she is expecting. She is due sometime in November...should I wait until after then to file for the modification. I know I have ONE good chance, and I dont want ANYTHING to stand in the way.

I'm thinking if I wait until after her baby is born, her husband should be in prison by then (jail waiting for jury trial now), and her situations will be even worse.

Thanks all!

Eh, I wouldn't count on it mattering either way as far as pregnancy vs baby... if I were you, I'd file NOW or as close to now as possible and not wait til November if you don't have to.

My ex tried to use my pregnancy against me - and when he'd managed to delay proceedings long enough that I wasn't pregnant anymore - he tried to use the baby against me too. Tried to use the fact that I wasn't with the father of my child anymore against me... none of it helped HIM.

YOU have legit concerns without worrying about whether the BF is in jail or mom is pregnant or has a baby or anything else.

IMO, in this particular case, the longer you wait, the more your perceived inaction hurts your credibility when you DO file.

 

[Chelle0578]

Eh, I wouldn't count on it mattering either way as far as pregnancy vs baby... if I were you, I'd file NOW or as close to now as possible and not wait til November if you don't have to.

My ex tried to use my pregnancy against me - and when he'd managed to delay proceedings long enough that I wasn't pregnant anymore - he tried to use the baby against me too. Tried to use the fact that I wasn't with the father of my child anymore against me... none of it helped HIM.

YOU have legit concerns without worrying about whether the BF is in jail or mom is pregnant or has a baby or anything else.

IMO, in this particular case, the longer you wait, the more your perceived inaction hurts your credibility when you DO file.

I have no intentions of using having a "baby" against her. But in many cases Ive seen a judge ask CP's and NCP's that cant provide for their children financially...why they dont get out and get a job. I know this woman, she would say that she is pregnant and ill. I dont want that to be an excuse for her. I have many other issues obviously as you stated, but the more the better. Thanks for your reassurance, Im getting this retainer paid as fast as I can!

 

[sunnyin_fl]

As another post said....sooner rather than later. Waiting can hurt you.....the court would wonder why did you wait if you thought it was so important...

My husband did on the advice of his attorney when his son (6) came to him for makeup visitations. He was grey....underweight....he immediately took him to the doctor had him tested. He came back positive for marijuana...it is awful....he had just been awarded over 7 months of makeup visitation and the attorney (ex-attorney now) said wait to file for custody until you can show how he's improving....2 years later he is still waiting for the final hearing and you can only imagine...

Please do what is best for your daughter.....do not worry about your ex...she isn't worrying about the safety of your child.

Don't waste time...act now for the sake of your child.