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No count data seeking custody

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mona1234

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? TN

I have an awful situation in that my child, who is 3 1/5, father has been a complete jerk ever since pregnancy. He does nothing, helps in no way, is verbally abusive towards me even before the child. Never came around also, but files in court he's been denied visitation. He gets visitation, then the child comes back with injuries, it's documented by cps. Has a long cps investigation and he ends up getting visitation again. Once again, the child comes back with more minor injuries, but obviously emotionally abused. Because he's harrassing me to death, I file an order of protection. He goes away and makes no attempts at arranging through his attorney or other methods visitation, and then he files contempt charges on me stating I've been trying to keep the child away from him. Guess what, the judge gives him temporary custody. He's six months behind on a Feb. child support order he never paid anything into and of course, prior to the order, he never paid a dime. Then the judge orders me to deliver the child 80 miles on a Sunday and pick her up on a Friday. The father has never attempted to support her at all....never a dime in all the 3 1/5 years of her life. She always comes back with either physical, emotional or sexual abuses in some way. Please give me guidance...because I'm about to go beserk. The attorney managed to get set a rehearing, but it could take 3 months before that happens. The original temporary custody order is for three months in which it is to be continued to Nov. Almost didn't get the rehearing because it it's a continuance and not a final order. The father will not allow me to speak with the child period and it's been 7 days.
 


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escape2paradise

Member
mona1234 said:
What is the name of your state? TN

I have an awful situation in that my child, who is 3 1/5, father has been a complete jerk ever since pregnancy. He does nothing, helps in no way, is verbally abusive towards me even before the child. Never came around also, but files in court he's been denied visitation. He gets visitation, then the child comes back with injuries, it's documented by cps. Has a long cps investigation and he ends up getting visitation again.

CPS obviously determined the accusations to be unfounded, so yes he would resume his visitation.

Once again, the child comes back with more minor injuries, but obviously emotionally abused.

How is it obvious that a three yr old is being emotionally abused?

Because he's harrassing me to death, I file an order of protection. He goes away and makes no attempts at arranging through his attorney or other methods visitation, and then he files contempt charges on me stating I've been trying to keep the child away from him.

Was there a visitation order already in effect? Your above statements make it sound as though there is. If there is, the need to do anything further to get that visitation is not required

Guess what, the judge gives him temporary custody. He's six months behind on a Feb. child support order he never paid anything into and of course, prior to the order, he never paid a dime. Then the judge orders me to deliver the child 80 miles on a Sunday and pick her up on a Friday. The father has never attempted to support her at all....never a dime in all the 3 1/5 years of her life. She always comes back with either physical, emotional or sexual abuses in some way.

I will take a guess here as to why the judge gave your X custody. Just from reading your posts, you sound hysterical and prone to blowing things out of proportion. It sounds to me like you are hell bent on keeping dad from the child by the non stop accusations. I suggest you sit back, take a hard look at reality and make some changes. If you continue to try and pick every little thing apart to create abuse allegations, where non exists, you will lose permanent custody of your child PERIOD.

Please give me guidance...because I'm about to go beserk. The attorney managed to get set a rehearing, but it could take 3 months before that happens. The original temporary custody order is for three months in which it is to be continued to Nov. Almost didn't get the rehearing because it it's a continuance and not a final order. The father will not allow me to speak with the child period and it's been 7 days.
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If you are upsetting the child I can see why he would want to do this. Does it state in the order about phone priveledges? If not you probably can't do much at this point. Make sure it is addressed the next time you go to court.
 
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mona1234

Junior Member
MilspecGirl, yes it was only visitation. He had every opportunity to get visitation either through making arrangements through his attorney, through the juvenile court system or through the order of protection people, by filing forms to have access to the children. I could not contact him because that would be violating the protection order as it goes both ways. He decided not to attend the OOP hearing or appeal it. However, he wants to put on my back that he can't have access because of me.

Escape2Paradise, you sound like you have issues. You sound like a man who hates women and who thinks men have all powers and women just birth the babies and have no rights. I don't need to go any further. Your comments are small minded and don't look at the bigger picture (it's obvious you make alot of assumption).
 
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escape2paradise

Member
mona1234 said:
MilspecGirl, yes it was only visitation. He had every opportunity to get visitation either through making arrangements through his attorney, through the juvenile court system or through the order of protection people, by filing forms to have access to the children. I could not contact him because that would be violating the protection order as it goes both ways. He decided not to attend the OOP hearing or appeal it. However, he wants to put on my back that he can't have access because of me.

Escape2Paradise, you sound like you have issues. You sound like a man who hates women and who thinks men have all powers and women just birth the babies and have no rights. I don't need to go any further. Your comments are small minded and don't look at the bigger picture (it's obvious you make alot of assumption).
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For one I am not a male. Definitely not a woman hater! I've just stated my opinion about how your post comes across. If you are coming across that way in court then you need to make changes. Maybe your concerns are valid, I don't know. All I know is how you sound in the post. You sound like you are picking apart every little thing and just looking ,for excuses.

If there was real abuse going on, CPS wouldn't send the child back for more. You said sexual abuse, did you take the child to the doctor? Did the doc make a report of sexual abuse? If not, why are you making that accusation. You can't tell by looking that sexual abuse has definitely occured, although there may be signs. You need to have others who can back up your claims of abuse. Your just saying them doesn't make them true, nor does it prove anything to the court. In fact it tells the court just the opposite. It tells them that it is likely you are creating accusations in an effort to frustrate the father child relationship. Which will loose you custody and is probably the reason your X got temp custody. I'm not trying to be mean here. Just trying to show you a different point of view. Think about it.

I am speaking from experience here. Though I was not the accuser. My X has tried accusing me and my DH of abuse and bases his recent request for custody on the supposed abuse. The allegations are false, CPS has investigated, child has a counselor, we have a family counselor, GAL has investigated. Accusations have been proven fruitless, yet X keeps insisting they are real. This is just one of the few things he continues to do and he is hanging himself in the process. Great for me as I knew if given enough rope he would and will hang himself. It's just inevitable as he just can't help himself and never has been able to. Anyway, I'm not stating your allegations are false. I don't know you, I'm just saying what it appears to be to me. If you make an accusation, make sure there is proof. You can't just keep slinging them around and hope one sticks. If you do and a real and proveable accusation does present itself, good luck getting anyone to listen after all the other unfounded ones.
 
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mona1234

Junior Member
To make a long story short. She is receiving victims compensation. She came back with a tear and some swelling. It wasn't 100 penetration, so they called it inconclusive and he receives visitation again. They categorized it as sexual abuse because she received victims compensation. The hospital failed to have her sent for dna testing, so therefore she does not have that.

Sorry, I meant to say Daddy instead of Data (I deal with a lot of data on my job).

I wish the very best relationship between them, however, he acts crazy with me and is mean and hostile at pickups and the baby gets hysterical when he comes. And he doesn't ensure her safety when he takes her. In addition to the above, she comes back with high fever, projectile vomiting, pink eye all within a month and a half - this includes the tear mentioned above. By the way, he has a wife (who he married about a year after I had the baby) who has has done quite a bit of phone harrassing before all this occured.
 
stealth2

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
mona1234 said:
she comes back with high fever, projectile vomiting, pink eye all within a month and a half -
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This is actually what happens with kids - they get sick. That's normal. Obviously, the "tear" isn't, but it sounds as though there is no proof of evidence of who did what. Poor kiddo.
 
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casa

Senior Member
Did your attorney FILE the documents claiming sexual abuse? What was CPS's determination after investigating? Did they find it unfounded or inconclusive?

Is/Was your child put into counseling? If not, why not?

Was Dad given a caseplan or anything to follow from CPS? (Parenting classes, offender testing, etc.)? This is very important as if he was given direction from one agency & did not follow it, it needs to be brought to the judge's attention. The court can't consider anything that's not filed into the record & properly served upon all parties.
 
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mona1234

Junior Member
By the way, I'm not attacking him. He's the one doing all the attacking and accusations and drawing up petitions that I'm keeping the child away from him. I'm just trying to support myself and the child and make sure she's happy and well adjusted. The abuse came up because the child was seen by the doctor after she got back and the doctor started the cps investigation. But, he wants to claim I'm accusing him of abuse, not cps. When things happen that's out of the ordinary, they have to be dealt with properly. When he kept coming over disruptive I filed an order of protection. Then he claims again, I'm trying to keep the child away from him. After about a year and a half of the child's life, when I hadn't seen him in five months and before that, he came around every two months for 30 minutes to an hour, he filed to the courts that I had been trying to keep the child away from him. All he does is file petitions claiming I'm trying to keep the child away from him. He never calls to see how she's doing, he's rarely bought her anything. Never a birthday, christmas or valentine gift. Of course, I don't get any support from him....not a penny. If you ask for any, he says "I have a dollar". This is from a man who had been making 65,000 a year.
 
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mona1234

Junior Member
In the previous post, I stated inconclusive. However, they still gave her victims compensation for sexual abuse.
 
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