Child never has a day off....13 yrs old

[mdonovin]

Great advice CJane

going to court no matter how right I think I am is always a crap shoot...you never know

PAS will not be mentioned by me...the actions and symptoms will be discussed and we will let the judge determine what it is...or isn't

Its like like the doctors who dont like patients who walk in with the diagnosis!!!
boy they dont like that at all...LOL

very dangerous in such a critical scenario to piss off a FC judge

which brings up a question...
when i list my changes in the motion that I desire do i risk pissing them off by asking for too much?
or is this a negotiation and I will have to settle for less so I better ask for more?

thnx

 

[CJane]

which brings up a question...
when i list my changes in the motion that I desire do i risk pissing them off by asking for too much?
or is this a negotiation and I will have to settle for less so I better ask for more?

thnx

It's a negotiation if it's mediation.

If it's a trial, you're going to have to convince the judge that whatever it is you're asking for is in the best interests of the child.

 

[mdonovin]

I'm with LdiJ on this one - 2 soccer teams and a swim schedule all within one season - when is there time for interacting with family members(who aren't all in the car on the way to the practice - they're at their practice!), homework, studying, innovation, day dreaming, looking at the clouds...Never mind, the risk of injury due to continuing to practice/ participate in multiple games with a tired body...Sounds to me like Mom needs to get a life of her own instead of giving this teen the very wrong impression that the world revolves around him and his activities, that everything else is "dropped" in order to accommodate his schedule. Not smart! He needs to learn sensitivity to family members and their feelings, and schedule as well as understand "life" is about more than just himself and a sports schedule. And, Dad? You don't need to bad mouth Mom to do that. This is on you to teach him too... If all of these chats are with your Ex - for all you know your son is maintaining this schedule thinking it's what you want. It's okay to make your son aware of what you need and that you can be hurt. Good luck in court

good points and I never disparage my ex wife EXCEPT here...LOL..i am here because i care and understand he needs us both to become whole...its divorce 101....I keep it between the ex and I.
He is getting her "approval" that he wants he gets...she says to us-
"I won't force him to go(on vacation with Dad) if he doesn't want to..."
"its in his best interest to go (to all these different activities)"
and my time with him? she says "oh well-deal with it...this is what Jeff wants to do"

for some reason it seems she feels his best interest does not include time with me nor discussion with me...she just does it!

bitter bitter woman- i feel bad for my son...as he progresses and becomes more independent I think there will a world of problems when he starts up with her with his whining about what he wants to do.

I will continue to dialog with him and reinforce the importance of this time together
and how this makes me feel.

BTW-do i need luck in court? is that a warning or is that just an expression?(smile)

thnx ALL!

 

[Teresa K.]

The issue is that PAS - as a syndrome - has been largely determined to not exist legally. No one is disputing that a parent can intentionally manipulate situations in order to alienate the other parent... what we ARE disputing is that this alienation is a syndrome that the court will recognize. Even mentioning PAS in court will oftentimes cause the judge to question your credibility.

CJane,
Yes, and now we are 2 LOVE. I didn't realize that the credibility issue was at stake here. I read the thread in that PA doesn't exist. I have a particular emotional attachment to "PAS" and would dearly love to make it an understood and recognized and accepted part of Family Law. What I mean to say, is that, Courts should recognize it by a specific name, whether that is PAS or not, and allow specific remedy for those found engaging in said practice. IMHO, it is too prevalent for it to be a question of credibility before the Court. Certainly, we don't have to engage the discussion of how, what, when here....I'll leave that to the forums elsewhere designed solely for that purpose, but it is profoundly interesting to me and one specific area that I hope to make changes for the positive... for the children that suffer so much.

 

[LdiJ]

CJane,
Yes, and now we are 2 LOVE. I didn't realize that the credibility issue was at stake here. I read the thread in that PA doesn't exist. I have a particular emotional attachment to "PAS" and would dearly love to make it an understood and recognized and accepted part of Family Law. What I mean to say, is that, Courts should recognize it by a specific name, whether that is PAS or not, and allow specific remedy for those found engaging in said practice. IMHO, it is too prevalent for it to be a question of credibility before the Court. Certainly, we don't have to engage the discussion of how, what, when here....I'll leave that to the forums elsewhere designed solely for that purpose, but it is profoundly interesting to me and one specific area that I hope to make changes for the positive... for the children that suffer so much.

The courts do recognize it by a name.... "alienation".

However, alienation, and PAS are two totally different things. PAS deals primarily with accusations of sexual molestation by one parent against the other, (or other equally serious abuse accusations) the convincing of a child that those accusations are real, when in fact they are allegedly false, and the resulting "cure" that is necessary to reprogram the child to recognize that the accusations are false.

The "cure" is horrendous and I won't go into detail on it because that would make the post too long.

Its been discredited because it turns out that the founder, acting as an expert witness, caused several children to be taken out of the custody of the parent who was attempting to protect them, and put into the custody of the parent who really WAS abusing them. The children continued to be abused, and when they became adults, they brought suits against the founder and the courts. Shortly after that the founder committed suicide.

Alienation is very real and absolutely happens. Any parent who is being alienated should absolutely deal with it in court. However, its very foolish to use the term "PAS" and very easy to use the correct term "alienation".

 

[Silverplum]

TeresaK, I read your apology in another thread and found you to be willing to learn and grow.

However, your 'tude on this thread is entirely different. And you are still wrong. CJane is correct. PAS is different from "alienation" in court, and that's a fact. I've shown it in a complete explanation in a previous thread, backed up with creditable cites.

If you had less ~emotional attachment~ (You wrote, "I have a particular emotional attachment to "PAS" and would dearly love to make it an understood and recognized and accepted part of Family Law.") and more reading under your belt, along with a willing attitude to learn, you could be an asset to this board.

And when I challenge you to find a link to support claims you make, don't even come back with "you can google it." That's childish nonsense. If you plan to make a claim and don't have the ability to back it up yourownself -- don't make the claim at all.